noelle !!
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@witchcraftandgeekness
noelle !!

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day 247 / wishes for another time and place
can somebody tell me why theyre doomed in every universe
flipped ver and speedpaint below! (flashing lights warning for speedpaint)
things in fic I'm used to people kind of faking their way through writing about:
the city of los angeles
the city of new york
sex
how drinking alcohol works
how getting high works
how a child of any age speaks
how nuclear physics work
how [my job] works
how debilitating being shot in the shoulder is
how hypothermia works
things I have never before seen someone fake their way through writing about, until today:
what french toast is
read through the notes on this one trust me
Here's some of the notes, starting with the things multiple people brought up:
SHRIMP COCKTAIL:
banahbanah: #flashback to that one fic where Peter Parker frets about drinking shrimp cocktail because of the alcohol
generaldeliciousness: adding: what a prawn/shrimp cocktail is
#why is your character turning it down because they're under 21 #do you think prawn cocktail is a cocktail #this lives in my brain rent-free constantly #the rest of the fic was so normal #and good enough that i'll still re-read it #but bro
And then many, MANY, people wondering if this was actually authour mistake, since Peter really would do this!
POMEGRANATES:
zhajhassa: #haha where's that post that was like someone describing someone eating a pomegranate but they ate it like an apple
thornhands: #once someone wrote persephone biting into a whole Pomegranate #had to stop and stare at a wall for a minute
sungsingsanguine: I once saw someone very confidently write about a character eating slices of pomegranate.
FRUIT TREES:
zagreuses-toast: #given a very endearing glimpse into a writers blindspots by seeing them describe someone sitting under a ''pineapple tree''
salatrash: I remember something about picking watermelons... OF A FUCKING TREE
baander: #cranberry trees
DOUGH/BATTER:
maycelium: #I'm a chef so I'm really used to people not accurately describing how to cook food #But I was surprisingly flabbergasted when someone was writing making a cake and was kneading it. Which uh #Not necessary for cake. It was interesting for sure but just bizarre
livebloggingmydescentintomadness: #the one that drove me nuts was when a character set aside a batch of PASTA DOUGH 'to rise' #pasta doesn't have yeast!! #it does need to REST but it will never RISE #you do not want an airy crumb on your noodles
lovesodeepandwideandwell: #THE ONE WHERE THEY MADE COOKIES BY LADLING BATTER INTO A TRAY
Some other topics:
how daniel molloy feels after trying to conduct an accurate interview about vampires, but his subjects are louis de pointe du lack of information, lestat de lyingcourt, armanipulator, and claudead.
my awesome unstable daughter and the army of stuffed animals that do her evil bidding for her

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the tvl experience is simultaneously like listening to a genz ipad baby and a very specific kind of annoying older white man trying to learn genz slang like. all at once. if theres anything to be said about lestat de lioncourt its that his number one talent is adapting to the most annoying parts of whatever era he lives in with stunning ease bc tell me why i have to live with the knowledge that he pronounces reddit like réditte but pronounces discord american-style and also why did he say labubu. hello. said with much affectionate amusement. hes literally a clown im throwing popcorn at for fun
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
@doberbutts as resident animal "lawyer"
My entire crew stands united with Felix. Universal treats and unlimited play time 2028.
I don’t want to see the French experience joy
Sometimes when you grow up you struggle to understand if your parents have always been like this or are those symptoms of developing some mental illness
They should invent talking to your mother that doesn't involve mind games

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I think strange horrible things should stop befalling my friends
I think strange wonderful things should start befalling my friends
rb to give prev strange wonderful things
Whimsy is alive and well, I prune it occasionally and put the trimmings in my tea
That's just the dangerous amounts of glitter you consume
It can be both
9999 (determination.)
[ Space Intentionally Left Blank ]
It's project old trauma on video game character o clock. This scene genuinely gave me like a three day existential crisis so here's some semi vent art semi projecting on Kris.
Some more personal thoughts and thoughts on this chapter below.

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How hard is it to dive in front of an arrow to save your loved one?
Feat: most of the cast of min-maxed (minus Jacques who apparently wants to look after his body, and Megan who wanted to let the boys have their moment) and several of their partners!
Wouldn’t it be cool if you could watch a D&D game with these nerds…
The party of deadly nerds. More coming soon!
BEAST chuuya and OG dazai
just wanted to hop on the train tbh, the idea was interesting