With Great Power Comes Great Guilt

“Are you a magician? When I looked at you, everyone else disappeared.” “I’ve been feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.” “Can I get a picture of you? I want to show my parents what my spouse looks like.” “Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.” “When God made you, he was showing off.” “Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?” “What time do you have to go back to Heaven?” “Are you a camera? Every time I look at you, I smile.” “I might as well call you Google, because you have everything that I’m looking for.” “Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?” “I love every bone in your body. Especially mine.” “Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you sure are CuTe.” “Would you like to have breakfast in bed tomorrow?” “Are you a thief? I think you just stole my heart.” “If I could change the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” “Call life alert! I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.” “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” “I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?” “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” “Feel my shirt. You know what it’s made of? Date material.” “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.” “There’s something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.” “On a scale of 1 to 10: You’re a 9, and I’m the 1 you need.” “I lost my number. Can I have yours?” “Let’s play Titanic. You be the ocean, and I’ll go down on you.” “Did we have a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.” “Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.” “There are 21 letters in the alphabet, right? Oh, wait. I missed ‘U’, ‘R’, ‘A’, ‘Q’, ‘T’.” “If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.” “Are you going to kiss me, or am I going to have to lie in my journal?” “I don’t have a library card, but can I check you out?” “You must be a broom, because you just swept me off your feet.” “Do you like KFC? Because you’re finger lickin’ good.” “What’s on the menu? Me-n-u.” “I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.” “Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” “You must be tired. You’ve been running through my mind all day long.”