I'm actually happy that I will abdicate my title as Empress didn't turn into just another love triangle despite the cover art looking so
I also really like that Adelaide never really looks down on Diane as a stupid lowly scum who's out to steal what is rightfully belonging to her, I'm tired with characters acting like they own everything, I've seen it with stories that are trying to change the old stereotype of "rich people are evil" but it ended up with protagonists who suddenly considered everything their birthright and taking back what is rightfully theirs. It was fun seeing them punishing enemies who are out to get them but it's not fun anymore, it's boring
Adelaide is prideful but not the kind where it's basically an insecurity that everyone is looking down on her even a maid, that fits her shitty ex, Karl more. She reprimanded Karl's uncle about it cuz she can smell that guy's shady ass and disrespect towards her a mile away, she's not the kind who would honestly cut someone's tongue cuz they said one bad thing about her, she commands respect by being a polite and respectable person
Remember she didn't lash out or slapped Diane for her impudence because she wants to be a better person, because it's basic human decency not to strike someone at the least inconvenience, considering her having been the heiress of the throne back in her home country that's like a sea away, I feel like Adelaide probably went through worse examples of disrespects and impudence before since she almost became Regnant Empress/Queen of her country after all
I don't remember much but Adelaide never really looks down at Diane, at worst she's only annoyed with her bullying antics and it's shown to be a lesson for Diane to stop attacking her when Adelaide got her kicked out of the White Palace that the Emperor's actual maid mom wanted him to give her when he's the Emperor which I think isn't meant to be about how his mom was a power hungry bitch or even hate on Mistresses, it's meant to be a tragedy cuz I'm pretty sure his mom was forced to give birth to him and she couldn't say no to his Father, the Emperor at the time, plus the woman probably had trauma and she birthed the next heir and Emperor, giving her a palace isn't an overkill, plus the Palace thing was meant to be Karl's giant ass mommy issue complex to be fair and even Diane realized such
Y'know it's funny people hate Lowborn Mistresses without considering how they were forced into it or had no other chance because they needed to survive but not when the poor misunderstood rich girl did it cuz she's also a survivor and wanted to take back what's hers
The double standards are ofc insane
People justify all kinds of insane shits when it comes to survival in this genre so much, I don't think it's about survival it's about being the most righteous one in the room
Adelaide didn't really like Diane very much when they first met, but slowly started to understand her and even sympathised with her.
Diane in return realised that Adelaide was never the one to blame for her problems, the ones who were responsible for her suffering were her family and the emperor (I might be wrong since I haven't read IWAMTAE in a long time).
Both women come to an understanding and stopped blaming eachother for their misery.
Also, I do agree with you. Slapping people (especially maids) is considered justifiable by many authors and readers even if it is unnecessary. In "Kill the Villainess", Helena reprimands Eris for slapping a maid and just tells her to fire the maid who wronged her ,and she is right. There is no need for the rich and privileged fl to abuse people of lower status, just fire them and be done with it. This is so bad that a big part of Isekai Maid's existence is to criticise those fls and mls who basically abuse their stuff and the authors/readers who justify these actions
These people are hella hypocritical. They will do mental gymnastics in order to justify the ml and fl, saying that their heinous actions are ok because they are just trying to survive, but then they'll go and hate on the villainess for doing the exact same thing.
Rashta from The Remarried Empress is a perfect example. People call her greedy, stupid, a gold-digger and a homewrecker for becoming Sovieshu's mistress, completely ignoring the fact that Rashta just wanted to survive.
These people will go far and beyond to justify Heinry's horrible crimes, saying that he didn't have a choice because he was just trying to protect his country and his wife, but the moment Rashta inconveniences the fl, suddenly she is the devil