Aries- You have so much passion for the things and the people you care about that it is SICKENING. You’re so goddamn DETERMINED to meet your goals it is absolutely fucking admirable. You were BORN to be a leader whether you’re leading others or taking control of yourself. You’re not afraid to do what needs to be done because you have the fucking strength. You bring people TOGETHER. You have BIG SHORT PEOPLE ANGER ENERGY and it will get you FAR. You WILL accomplish the things in life by continuing to be your CONFIDENT and BADASS SELF. FUCK

Taurus- You are the definition of a RELIABLE HUMAN BEING. You are the rock that so many people need in their lives. You’re so fucking devoted to any task thrown your way. You make life problems YOUR BITCH. You do this by enduring all the garbage that gets thrown at you and wading it out sometimes based on pure goddamn stubbornness and you come out the other side with a BIG BAG OF ACCOMPLISHMENT and a MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR. Even when you want to give up you DON’T because you’re a responsible PIECE OF SHIT with GLITTER ON TOP and I love that.

Gemini- FUCK GEMINI HATERS. Some may call you two-faced, real ones know you are ADAPTABLE. You are fucking CHAMELEONS. You were the person in high school who had friends in ALL different friend groups. You are truly a gentle person with a curious heart, do you fucking hear me. You have the ability to reach so many people with your WIT and CHARM. You’re not afraid to take off your mask in front of people which makes you that much more RELATABLE. PEOPLE AREN’T ONE-DIMENSIONAL SO YOU SHOULDN’T GET FLAK FOR IT. Direct me to the Gemini haters, let me roundhouse kick them real quick. 

Cancer- You have the BIGGEST HEART and your ability to make others feel comforted in their time of need is EXQUISITE. Those closest to you know you will defend them to your LAST BREATH because you are loyal as fuck. The way you can find even the smallest things to be important or sentimental is VERY TOUCHING. You’re like a $100 8 oz piece of medium rare filet mignon covered in a sugary honey garlic sauce, SWEET and TENDER, SHIT. You can empathize with just about everyone, even those who have wronged you because you really are just that fucking PURE.

Leo- I would very much LIKE TO BE AROUND YOU. Not only do you know how to light up a room but you can FUCKING keep my ATTENTION. You absolutely know how to dominate a conversation, teach me how, you are a goddamn NATURAL. The CHARISMA, it OOZES, sometimes when you don’t even realize. You are the person others go to when they need a good cheering up. You know how to make a person laugh under any circumstance, you fucking wizard. If you were in a movie you’d be the hot one and also the comic relief and also the main character who everyone loves, holy SHIT

Virgo- You very much should receive the RESPECT that you fucking DESERVE. You put in the WORK, bitch, you know how to fucking GET SHIT DONE, bitch. People may misunderstand you for being cold, but in reality you just know how to put your own feelings to the side in order to do the task at hand, and do it with PERFECTION, because you are so fucking detail-oriented, you never miss a single fucking BEAT. You would be the person to find a cure to the zombie apocalypse in less than a fucking week. You can get things right even on your first try because you’re EXTREMELY FUCKING CAPABLE.

Libra- You aren’t afraid to put your faith in others and THAT is what makes you so fucking LIKEABLE. You are humble while still remaining STRONG and true to WHO YOU ARE. People fucking love you because you know how to view a situation from all sides because you have an OPEN MIND and an OPEN HEART. It is truly disgusting how amazing and rare that is, you fucking gem. YOU GODDAMN PERSONIFICATION OF GRACE. How are you able to fight for the things you believe in all while remaining sympathetic to all, it’s beautiful. YOU ARE FUCKING LOVED, UNDERSTAND THIS. 

Scorpio- You are the person who your friends would go to when they need to get rid of a body because you’re that fucking TRUE and FAITHFUL to the people you LOVE. Not only would you get rid of the body, you’d also know how to do it with 100% certainty you’d never get caught because you’re so damn resourceful. Is this morbid as shit? MAYBE, but you don’t care because you’re the FUCKING COOL ONE. You are a FIERCE BITCH who people close to you LOVE and your enemies should FEAR. Never underestimate yourself because you have the PASSION and the CUNNING to get through all fuckery. 

Sagittarius- If I had to sit on a 30-hour long flight with someone, it’d be you because you would be SO FUCKING FUN TO TALK TO. You truly do not give a SHIT what other people think about you and it allows you to speak your mind freely, it’s so fucking amazing. Your love to travel and learn new things makes you INTERESTING as FUCK and you know how to put anyone in a good fucking mood. You make people feel INCLUDED. Your thirst for adventure is CONTAGIOUS, I would like to explore the inside of the earth with you, fucker. You are a prime example of WALKING the FUCKING WALK.

Capricorn- You know how to get the most out of literally ANYTHING, if you were given enough popsicle sticks and glue you could probably build a second fucking Golden Gate Bridge. You KNOW what you want and you know how to fucking get it. Your mind is SHARP AS FUCK. You have so much discipline and self-control you could probably become Lord Commander of the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD and you’d be fucking GOOD AT IT. You are a goddamn force to be reckoned with in both your personal and professional life because you take yours AND others’ mistakes and learn from them, it’s fucking BRILLIANT.

Aquarius- The world is your fucking OYSTER, BITCH and you are ready to mold it into what it needs to be. You are CREATIVE, you are INNOVATIVE, you are a fucking VISIONARY. People love you because they know you give a shit about them because you SHOW them. You don’t fucking tolerate those who hurt others and people ADMIRE YOU FOR IT. You aren’t afraid to be your own fucking person and that spans from how you think to how you act to how you look. IT’S ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ALLURING. You help others feel comfortable in their own skin when they’re around you without you even REALIZING. 

You cannot even begin to imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give. ✌