How Did I Get Here?

Prepping for tomorrow. Perfecting my stat sheet. 

1) By "your kids" do you mean mine and her kids? Because she did say something about making babies and that I was her soul mate at one point.

Friday night I went to a bar with my good friend Mike and it was a pretty weird night. About an hour (or less) into the night some wasted 22 year old girl stumbled up to me and started hitting on me and bought me a drink. She was being very flirtatious and handsy for a while, and it was all kind of uncomfortable but funny. Then, from across the bar comes a loud whistle and we look over and some dude is mean muggin us. Then the girl goes "oh shit, my boyfriend is giving us the death stare." Like, of fucking course he's looking at us like that! You're over here trying to crawl into my body while you're out at a bar with your boyfriend, you psycho.

Nonetheless, she remains in the stool next to me and ignores her boyfriend. She tells me that they've been together for like 6 years and she cheated on him once and he broke up with her but eventually took her back. But she's pretty much over him. She then proceeds to ask me my name 8 more times, and asks me if I've been to Coachella 15 times. Eventually, her friends come and get her to bring her back to their table. She then comes back like 5 minutes later, her boyfriend mean mugs a little more, her friends come back and get her again, and this process repeats like 6 times, and she never fails to come back. Meanwhile, a couple girls at the end of the bar are getting a kick out of watching this shit show. 

Before she gets dragged away the last time, she hands me her expired medical marijuana card to 'remember her by.' I laugh, and when she walks away, i post it up on a picture hanging on the wall for the bar to remember her by instead.