Chapter Closed

Wishing you the best <3

Hi! 😊

Thank you so much for your message & kind words! I appreciate it so much. You are totally right, the way he treats me after all those years is really not okay and his behaviour really hurts me.

Nevertheless, I can understand him somehow because I‘ve been "clingy" in the past. It was a mix of having feelings for him and needing him as my attachment figure, so I kept texting him after I had graduated and asked for coffee dates every few months. He actually went out with me when I asked (he has never asked me first), but we never had something romantic going on because he’s been in a relationship all those years and he only saw me as his little mentee.

I always thought he cared about me deeply, though, because he always helped me, gave me advice, told me that he cared about me, and spent time with me even when he was busy. However, he suddenly changed when I got the job.

He ignores me in the teachers lounge and has been ignoring my messages, but I think he does that to protect himself and his job. If his or now “our" colleagues find out that he kept seeing me after my graduation, he will probably get in trouble. He might also think that it would be the best thing for me to get detached from him, so I won’t be that clingy anymore and could start living without him. I mean, I decided to become a teacher just to be and teach with him one day.

He must believe I’m completely crazy.

Sorry for such a long response to your message, but my history with M is so long and complex that this text is still rather short, lol.

Again, thank you very much. ♡ I’d like to use this as my diary from now on. Feel free to ask questions or leave messages! I appreciate you 🫶🏻

I am currently working as a substitute teacher at my old highschool, so I get to see M every day, but trust me girls, I’m suffering.

Graduating and leaving him broke my heart six years ago, so I decided to become a teacher (insane reason to choose a career path, right?) because I thought it would make me happy to come back and just be able to be with him again. I even chose to take his major and teach his subject and all that.

Now that I have everything I thought I’ve always wanted, I’m going through hell every day because he is not the one I’ve loved for so many years. He doesn’t talk to me, and we just seem like two strangers that happen to be in the same teachers lounge.

I’m realizing that he was just a teacher doing his job back then, and we went out all those years probably because all he saw in me was a project he was working on.

Two months until my contract ends anyway.