“Susanne’s Journey”
An intimate autobiography: discovering my diaper fetish, shame, hiding, finding true love with my husband, crises, healing, passion, and freedom.Raw, honest, sensual – and full of hope.
Read the full book for free (PDF):
Englisch Version -> https://blog.diaperlover-model.com/Susannes-Journey.pdf
German (Original) -> https://blog.diaperlover-model.com/Susannes-Reise,pdf
Part 2 is already in the works – even more detailed, intimate, and full of surprises.
December 2025 - Susanne
Foreword This is not a made-up story. It is my life—a very personal, intimate experience that I had at the beginning of my coming of age, at sixteen, seventeen years old, in a time when I truly discovered myself, my body, and my desires for the first time. What I tell here really happened: the discovery of a feeling that both fascinated and shamed me at the same time, the fear of being different, the hiding, the struggle with myself, the deep shame when my mother suspected something, and finally the overwhelming relief when I found someone who accepted me with everything—just exactly as I was. I hesitated for a long time to write this down. The fear of being judged was too great. The old voice that told me that what I felt was wrong or sick was too deeply rooted. But today I know: It was neither wrong nor sick. It was simply a part of me—a very sensitive, sensual, intense part that took a long time to be accepted. This book describes sexual acts as I experience them, feel them, and what happens inside me—in all their intensity, emotionality, and sensuality. It is my very personal perception of pleasure, closeness, and surrender. I am sharing this experience with you today because I know that many people go through the same thing. Because I know how lonely one can feel when one has a desire that one sees nowhere, that no one talks about, that one hardly dares to admit to oneself. Because I know how heavy the shame weighs—and how liberating it is when it finally falls away. If you are reading this and recognize yourself in any sentence, if you carry something inside you that you have hidden until now out of fear of not being lovable—then I want to tell you: You are not alone. You are not broken. And there is someone out there who will want you exactly as you are. With everything. It takes time. It takes courage. And sometimes it takes exactly the right person who understands you without words. But it is possible. Healing is possible. Love—real, deep, unconditional love—is possible. A small note about this edition: The original book was written in German, my mother tongue, in which I could express my feelings most directly and unfiltered. Translating it into English was a lot of work and a very personal decision. Some nuances, rhythms, or emotional intensities may feel slightly different because of that. But I wanted to share my story with an even wider audience, in the hope that it reaches exactly those who need it most. That is what I have learned. And that is exactly what I wish for you too.
