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@willaualice
“Write her a letter, send her a flower, love only gets old if you let it.”
— William Chapman

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“I keep that memory somewhere inside me—where it’s safe. I take it out and look at it when I need to. As if it were a photograph.”
— Benjamin Alire Sáenz, The Inexplicable Logic of My Life
Christian Wiman // Janet Fitch
Sometimes it feels like I’m raising a young girl that chooses death inside a woman who have no choice but to bring life.
I see the world through shades that refuse to exist.
The eye of truth is obsessed with death as much as it fears resurrection.
I have faith in the future. I know I have more time to dig up more graves in the graveyard that is my soul for versions of myself that were never allowed to be.
Now, i know myself In the comfort of the walls of my own mind
I know myself, alone.
Sarcastic, a bit cynical some of my pieces have fallen out, Others are hanging like broken teeth. My skin won’t shed completely and my fingers aren’t enough to hold me
Yet, I refuse to ask for help afraid if someone actually reached out
I’ll bite…
Loneliness to someone who’s used to be alone and prefers to be feels a lot like betrayal…
I wish I could stop feeling this lonely all the time, it’s almost like a phantom limb pain. I’m feeling pain in a part of me that no longer exists…
Bleeding rage from an invisible wound.
•••
•Quotes: Halsey/Christa Wolf/ Anne Sexton/ Anne Carson/Louis Tomlinson/ Kaveh Akbar/Junot Diaz/ Janet Fitch/Rosalind M. Baker.
•Original context: sinligh
•Art reference:
1. Art by Liu Yuanshou. 2. Jada Wilson "The Fallen Order". 3. Ray Donley (1950, American). 4. “Emergiendo Ill”DeAngel painting 2008. 5.MIND OVER MATTER by Valerie Patterson.

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“Can the old “us” come back please?”
“If I really care, I'll try like 400 times. But once I'm done, it's over.”
“She was saying goodbye and she didn’t even know it.”
“Love never dies of a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness, errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds. It dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings, but never of a natural death.”
— Anais Nin
“I’m sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel.”
— Warsan Shire

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hey.
if you happen to be reading this, i just wanted to say some things coming from someone who knows what it’s like to fall asleep in tears.
you are not a burden or a mistake or a problem. you are a person with feelings and talents and potential. you deserve happiness even when you feel you don’t, and you deserve a future even when you’re stuck in your past.
life isn’t all about finding the one or succeeding perfectly. life is about finding your happiness and wellbeing in a world that gives you chaos. in that chaos you might cry yourself to sleep, might stay in bed for a day only getting up to use the bathroom, might mean shutting out the world out of frustration, might mean saying “fine. bye.” when you really just want them to stay. but you have tomorrow. and i hope tomorrow brings you at least one, real, beautiful smile.
you’ve got this. you’ve got a good heart. don’t forget that. even when all you can hear is reasons to give up on yourself, don’t. you have got this.
When it’s genuine, you wont need to tell them more than once how to treat you. Stop making excuses and accepting the bare minimum. A man will stay with you for years for comfort but never really love you. When you applaud the bare minimum from a man; it tells him that, that is all they need to do to keep you.
Listen, maybe I can’t change the world, but I can pass eggs over the fence to my neighbor to save them a few dollars. I can cross the street and fix another neighbor’s cabinets. I can send my kid to the house next door with a can of tomato sauce they need and they’ll come back with a box of cocoa powder they weren’t going to use. We can leave our old furniture at the curb and one of us will drive by and pick it up to fix and sell or keep. I’ll plant a garden since I have the space and time and I’ll share what I can and I’ll get calls from someone else asking if I can use a crate of oranges.
I may not be able to change the world but I can do something
art galleries should be open 24hrs like what if I can’t sleep and wanna stare at a painting
to my beloved
my love for you
a fire that even hell’s flames
could not compare to

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“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84