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Peed my pants in front of a total stranger today. So I’ve been dealing with a urinary tract infection which is not awesome but also kind of awesome because it’s the closest I’ve ever been to true incontinence. I go from not feeling like I need to pee to full on bladder spasms in a matter of seconds. Today as I was driving to work my bladder urgency flared from zero to 100 and I knew I wouldn’t make it to work so I pulled into a Walgreens and ran inside to use the bathroom. This would have been a good day to wear a diaper but I don’t like to mix work and play so I was just wearing typical khakis with normal underwear. To make things even more interesting, I’ve always been somewhat intimidated by black women and when I got inside I found the store staffed by all black women. I half walked half jogged to the counter to ask where the bathroom was and lady behind the counter directed me to the rear of the store and told me to ring the buzzer and wait for someone to come unlock it for me. It was a surprise to me that the bathroom would be locked and in a tone mixed with urgency and horror I said, “Oh gosh, it’s locked?!” I could already feel myself losing the battle as little squirts were coming out with every spasm even though I was squeezing as hard as I could. She noticed a wet spot forming and said, “Oh, you’re peeing yourself!” Then she proceeded to yell across the store to a fellow employee, also a black woman, “He peeing on hisself!” I was beyond mortified as I hustled to the bathroom to wait for her to unlock it for me. She took her time and I was feeling more little spurts as I waited. When she finally got back there and tried to unlock the door we found that it was locked from the inside because someone was using the men’s room!!! I said please can I use the women’s bathroom, it’s an emergency! And she said no you have to wait and proceeded to stand there and stare at me with a smirk as I continued to hold as hard as I could and continued to lose. By the time the bathroom opened up my pants were wet down to my knees and I had to stand there as this large black man came out of the bathroom before I could rush in. To make matters worse, I have a very small penis which is something I’ve always been self conscious about. It’s literally just an acorn cap when soft and not quite 4” erect. Apparently, when the wet spot starts dead center of your fly it’s a dead giveaway that you’re hung like a toddler because as I was taking care of business I could hear the fellow who had been in there before me laughing about it with the employee.

Went grocery shopping today with my diaper tastefully concealed under some loose jeans but the coffee I had on the way to the store didn’t do me any favors. By the time I got to the checkout I’d already had several accidents and was desperately trying to hold back another one because I was worried about leaking. The middle-aged cashier watched me walk up and proceeded to take what seemed like an intentionally long time ringing me up and then fiddled with removing a security tag for another minute or so. I was trying to be discreet but standing still is the worst when you’re desperate and by the time she was done I was doing a subtle but obvious potty dance just trying to hang on. As she finished up she said, “Okay, kiddo, your total is. . . .” My face went beat red and the dam broke open as I tried to hurriedly pay. It was too much for my already sagging diaper and I could feel a wet patch growing across my jeans as I rushed to load my bags back into my cart. The cashier looked down at my crotch almost expectedly, smiled the biggest smile, and said, “Have a nice day.” I nearly melted into the floor! I have no idea how I even made it home!