Willaferd's Era

I want to get away from everything. Put my life on D.N.D That text notification Put that on silent. That phone call Hearing nothing but silence The knock on the door From a feather plowing The door. Blank stares. Delayed breathes. Take me away from everything That worries me at night. I call no answer. You call I answer. Put my whole life on D.N.D and Do Not Disturb me From the silence I fear to face

Are you ready now? I give you five minutes Are you ready now? You texting your bae. Are you ready now? It’s like you don’t even notice me. Are you ready now? I give you ten minutes instead. Are you ready now? You ignore me Are you ready now? You’re out the door with some other homie. Are you ready now? You never called me. Are you ready now? That’s what you asked me. Are you ready now? I am already dead homie.

Is it sad that I am fat? Is it sad that I am friendly? Is it sad that nobody is really a Friend to me? Is it sad that I imagine life Without me? Is it sad that I try to seek The good in people? Is it sad that nobody wants to Talk to me? Is it sad that I really have No one? Is it sad that this is not Hard to believe? Is it sad that nobody responds? Is it sad that I get left on Read? Is it sad to be sad?

Why the fuck should I care? Why the fuck should I laugh? Why the fuck should I have sex? Why the fuck should I want to be next? Why the fuck should it matter? Why the fuck is you so flattered? Why the fuck is you reading this? Why the fuck should you care? Why the fuck do you think this a diss? Why the fuck do you think this is a dare? Why? The Fuck.

Who Am I? Am I the boy who people likes? Am I the boy who likes bikes? Am I the boy who rides? Rides on the one thing that ladies like. Am I the boy who does not know? The same boy who’s willing to blow The pipe. The same pipe that gets filled With the green leaves they call Pot. Or is it the other pipe? Soft and sometimes hard. Small but sometimes large. Or Am I the boy Who lose himself whenever Others use his mind As their toy? The same toy that has A whole that only a woman can Have. That is what is used to describe Me. So, who am I?

I wonder what you are. Are you a person that likes One or both? Are you the one who does The dominating Or are you the one who Gets dominated on? Is that comfortable for you? Do you get down like that? Maybe you should date her. Maybe you should date him. As long as you know, You can’t have it Both ways. But that’s just my preference of your life Only because I know everything Without knowing anything.

The first cut is a test. A test only to prepare For the next. The second for the pain. The sharp pain jabbing At my brain. The third for the games. The games they like to play Setting me in flames. The fourth for the anger. Carrying the thought: I wonder if I should bang her. The fifth for the betrayal. Opened and read messages Making me feel like I have failed. The sixth for feeling this way. I hate the feeling. I hate the way I let them stay In my life hoping That one day they will Beg for me to stay. These are the cuts that ended My stay.

This is not for me anymore. Living in Baltimore just not cutting it For me anymore. All I ever wanted was to be noticed. I guess being noticed just not For me anymore. They want me to accept things. Be the friend that gets Walked over. I guess being one with the crowd just not for me anymore. I guess having genuine friends is not For me anymore. This life is not for me anymore. I do not wish to live Anymore.

COMING SOON!!!