Addressing the pirating art book situation.
First of all, this has been absolutely crushing for my social anxiety to be viewed as a asshole person in a community that I personally hold to high value and want to be friendly with. HOWEVER; This no way means that I am using mental health as a excuse to run away from accountability like a pussy. But seeing all of those messages basically call me pathetic for pirating a five dollar art book is partially missing the point. I know I have no ground to stand on about this topic but HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DID I SAY IN THAT ORIGINAL POST TO SUPPORT THE DEVS? YOU PEOPLE DID NOT FULLY READ IT. YOU JUST SAW THAT I PIRATED IT, SKIMMED PAST THE DISCLAIMERS AND TITLES, AND THEN IS IMMEDIATELY "you're a jerk". I understand this as if this happened to me, like, if I made a game and poured my soul, blood, sweat and tears into it just for some sleazy 17 year old to brag about pirating it, I would be PISSED. I'm formally apologizing to anyone who I accidentally hurt and I deleted a post that I posted immediately after the first one where I was asking people to worship me for doing that which in-hindsight is quite a jerk move. "You're the first one to do it because everyone else knew better." The way this hurt the most because I never wanted to be THAT ONE PERSON in a fandom who is known specifically for ruining a good thing for everything else. Fuck me. Fuck my life. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I did not mean to make people so mad about this. I did not intend to do this. I literally paid for it FIRST before I realized that I didn't want it on my dad's computer and so I just.. did a trick to make it downloadable for MYSELF. I never said that people can just go pirating the game like crazy!
God this sounds so cheesy. Not the apology, i'm fully sincere about that. Just the fact that I only feel bad after the court of public opinion rightfully rips me to shreds. The way I felt so good about myself as if this was a right thing to do and people would like it. I tagged the main tag for the island of doctor morose as if this is a achievement. It's really not, it's basically a scarlet letter sewn directly onto my blog. I literally wanted to be the first in something that meant something to me because I've always just gotten honorable mentions and slivers but now the community probably hates my guts. You have fair assumptions to do so!! do whatever you want!! block me, warn others who I interact with that I'm a scumbag!! Avoid my presence like the plague!! I'm so sorry that I disappointed everyone, I don't know how to process this without something in my brain just... breaking. I literally have no excuse for this shit. I downplayed it, I said it was fine. Maybe I should've just stayed in my goddamned line. Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry. You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to or you think that this apology is fake and that I don't care. I DO care! Please, I do!
