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Reframing our understanding of children's behavior.
Toxic positivity isn’t doing students or teachers any favors. Educators provide helpful tips on how to authentically listen to emotions and
At Wild Lilac, we do our best to acknowledge and honor all of our children's feelings as valid and valuable. We make and hold space for big feelings. We offer support and empathy. We help children reflect and process.
As we grapple with beginning another year in the throes of the pandemic, this article is a powerful reminder that educators (and parents) need to be real with ourselves and each other about how we are feeling.
It takes two to make things go right!
In contemporary American society, both in parenting and educational discourses, there is an overemphasis on independence: grit, resilience, and self-regulation are all seen as not only positive traits to foster, but as essential. I disagree. I believe relationships are central to early care and education, both for parents and educators, and co-regulation is where our focus should be. And not just for infants and toddlers. For all of us.
August inquiries
As we dive into rocks, plants, and wildlife - we mirror a "big idea" we've dove into a lot this year; zooming in. As Christine Chaillé says, "this big idea capitalizes on something that children find fascinating - changing perspective".
Using our microscope one morning, we zoom into details of life around us. We take a walk around campus to find bugs, plants, ordinary objects, hair follicles. As we zoom into a piece of hair, Anna says 'it looks like a rope up close'. Then we use loupes to look up close at rocks, crystals, petrified wood. Kieran notices "there's dirt stuck in this rock' while Morgan zooms in and notices paint on another rock. This act of slowing down is a subtle way we engage in emotional regulation as well.
One way we take big ideas and learning with us is by jumping into symbolic play / role-play. Piaget says that "pretend play is a way that children assimilate concepts and ideas, practicing and expanding their ideas about how things are 'supposed to work'". We add props to support these scripts and interests. As our wildlife and rocks study continues, we noticed more collaborative play around animals - studying what 'pacts' and 'herds' are - seeing some risky play surrounding these ideas, and then moving into our social-emotional curriculum within the context of these role playing games.
Some games persist over weeks, like the wolf pack in our class, the bears that climb, the unicorns that have elaborate parties. Within our social-emotional curriculum, we notice these skills emerging: cooperative play, emotional awareness, conflict resolution, bargaining, communicating ideas, etc. Most of these skills emerge through peer to peer interaction through play. There are challenging moments, scary moments, tricky-to-navigate moments... and we always work through them. Growth is not rapid or linear.
We explore transformation with natural materials. We offer invitations such as painting gems and crystals, creating a kaleidoscope with rocks, painting wood outside, mixing rocks with clay, other multi-media projects.
Literature and storytelling are huge parts of how we learn and communicate as well. We introduces stories around rocks and wildlife - some from an indigenous lens-talking about cultural meaning of stones, some stories about magical stones, some about worry stones / the peaceful qualities of rocks.
We weave in elements of storytelling to scaffold new ideas about friendship, problem solving, and concepts that are directly related to our class. The other day we offered a story about a dragon who learned to harness their fire breath by carrying a worry stone. We then read about about a friendship where two friends can't live without each other, but learn to recognize when they need space, and it strengthen their friendship.
All these big ideas and threads of inquiry we have followed all relate to the potpourri of learning going on within the class. Learning is so embedded into every part of children's days, within stories/art/play/hard times/transitions/drama.

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Another summer day engaged in play with sand, wood, and water, this time building dams.
This week we are enjoying painting and sculpture invitations inspired by the early summer garden at Wild Lilac. So many different shapes, colors and textures of leaves, petals, stems, and branches to explore. While our oldest children focus on representational work, for our youngest students it's a sensory experiment and early foray into mark-making.
Open Studio continues.
Hannah: "I made a garden, with a fish jumping out of the river. It's a really pretty, sunny day."
Tilda: "I'm making a rainy day. And a river. Now for the fish..."
"Apple" (Wally, age 5)
Giliad calls me over to share their discovery: water color droplets follow the path of those already on the paper.
Aemon: "It's a shapeshifting alien. It can stretch its skin and change colors."
...
"I'm gonna inject it."
...
"I couldn't get the color right, so I decided to kill it. This is what they look like when they die. As a final remembrance of their family, they cover themselves in their blood -- forever."
Anna: "I made a face. These are the pupils. I made the mouth by rolling it."
"Rock Monster" by Quinn, "Ice Cream" by Justus, "Chocolate Bar" by Daisy
More scenes from the studio today.
"I'm gonna pour the paint in. I wonder what's gonna happen? Let's see." Anna, age 5

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Today in the studio children were offered charred wood, water, white paint, brushes and sticks, and lots of containers for mixing. For many children, regardless of their age, the process of creation was tactile and immersive.
Tess: "Wow, it's changing colors!"
Elias: "Awesome. I'm making an experiment!"
Lou: "Look what I'm making -- charcoal soup."
Charlie: "I'm making a smoothie."
Tilda: "I'm making a potion. I'm making my water dull and gray."
Elliot: "Me too. I wonder what happens when I crush this? When I squish it, it turns white -- maybe by magic?"
Working with focus and intention, Eleanor pauses and smiles at the unexpected squishy sound of latex and tempera paint.Â
In Reggio-inspired practice, we consider the “affordances” of materials: what are their properties, qualities, and capabilities? Here Liam makes a joyful discovery; creating visual art can engage all of our senses.Â
Open Studio
During open studio children have time and space to explore materials, see what speaks to them, and engage in open-ended, creative processes in a social setting.Â
To an adult it may look chaotic or messy; to a child, it’s just possibilities.Â
One of my favorite parts of facilitating open studio? How many times I get to say “yes.”
“What color should I use? I’ll use my intuition.” -Cypress, Age 7
"What are you going to be when you grow up?" It's a question adults asked me as a boy and one I still hear adults asking chi

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