Inspired by a couple of things, I decided to start the new year off without any internet. I still allowed myself my phone, for I didn't want to disconnect all together. I am really into mini social experiments especially when my life can get so routine and mundane while in school, in -30 weather...
I had an awesome anthropology professor this fall, who encouraged us to look at our campus, our streets, everything and try to see how they have been designed to make us act, conform, move in a certain way. For example, recycling bins every few blocks, traffic lights, etc. Things that we often internalize, don't realize, but is jay-walking so bad? Do we believe so much in the authority of this electronic system that if it is 5am on a side street, with no cars coming in either direction, we still have to listen to the walking man? Ideas like this fascinate me. I truly think we should question everything and being set in stone in anything is quite dangerous. And yet, so is indifference. Moving forward with these ideas, I was browsing a documentary website when I came across a short documentary called “No Internet Week”, which is exactly what it sounds like: a camera crew challenges people with internet embedded in their lives to go a week without it, an interviews them to find out about their feelings (link at the bottom of this post).
I loved watching it and wanted to try it myself. I have spent time in remote coves in the East, rural areas in Ukraine, way out in the bush in BC, etc – many times without internet, but many times with. I find it so weird and unnecessary most of the time that I can access the internet so easily. Although I must admit most of the time I really enjoy having it, the times where I haven't, makes me appreciate it so much more, but I always also noticed I had much more quality experiences when I was without it. But I has rarely been challenged to go without it in my normal, urban, daughter/sister/friend-away-from-home, deeply curious student life.
Here are a few journal entries throughout and after this “no internet week”. It is not something overly important per say, however I think it is reflective of a lot of larger processes contributing to our loss of real communication with real humans, something I find to be the most important thing. Indeed communication is probably at the most extreme level it ever has been, however it is largely artificial and I believe a lot of its purpose should stay out of our intimate lives. This of course is difficult and I want to explore how we can challenge these notions and ways our lives are changing. Explore with me.
Day 1 of no internet– Saturday January 3rd, 2015.
I already am noticing so much about my internet usage. I have slowed down. I have appreciated more. I have had to go out of my way to find things, but it makes me revisit old favourite activities. I thought I might like to see a movie this week but realized I could not simply check the showtimes from our trusty friend Google. So I headed down to a local theatre, the Bytowne, to pick up their newsletter, which is reminiscient of a theatre I love in my hometown, The Princess. It takes time to go through the whole paper and read up on each movie, then find the date. It feels like it takes long, because the information isn't just available from my direct click. I am not as in control of the information, I have to seek outside sources. It's interesting, something I never considered.
Also, because I just arrived back in Ottawa, I had no groceries in my house. After meeting up with a friend, I picked up a few things on my way home, but when faced with what to have for breakfast, I was baffled. I thought : « oh, I'll make scones! » But I don't have a recipe for scones. Or do I? I have a few cookbooks, as if that is something from ancient times. I realized I had neglected them, even though they offer more adventure than looking up recipes online. Again, I am noticing an absence of control, but it's exciting. Sure, I can't just search what I want to make, but I have limited choice from what is in the books that I have (or that I have already made or my imagination...). It is forcing me to try something new. I also forgot how much I love cookbooks. Such as the Tassajara Bread Book by Edward Espe Brown, which also has meditations from a Zen centre in California. Revisiting the cookbook also is allowing me to revisit my interest in Zen. Furthermore, when my friend left, I was faced with what to do, when usually I don't have such a thought. I know I can do whatever I want – be it research, draw, go on Netflix, whatever. But for some reason I felt more limited. I wanted to get away from the computer. I decided to make myself tacos (something I haven't done in a long time), have a beer, sit on the couch and watch Into the Wild. The tacos and the beer were amazing. I found myself smiling as I sat down on the couch. It was a combination of not being dragged into my internet addiction, having the house to myself and owning my time. I found I was really in tune with the movie, and although I have read the book and seen the movie probably over 5 times, I heard it so differently. I don't know if this is directly related to my disconnect from the world wide web, but as I sat there, I felt so free, which kind of sounds silly.
It seems too simple, right? Just by turning off my internet, not even my phone or all electronics or screens, but simply the internet – I get to reevaluate my motions, my routine, my dependencies, my time – that I never realized before was controlled by my constant access to wifi. It lead me to a question that I asked myself while I was sitting on the toilet (classy): is access to wifi becoming a human right? Sounds weird, but hear me out. Access to internet = access to knowledge, information. For the most part, the internet is a facilitator of freedom. If I go really far with this and channel Development theory, like Amartya Sen's "development as freedom", in this way, we can see that development, is about allowing people to realize their full potential by developing their freedoms (like access to knowledge). Freedom of speech (social media and news), of movement (through access to routes, times, destinations, etc), of education (school and informative websites), etc. But for some reason, I felt way more free without this access to wifi. I know I sit here from a privileged position, but it is helping me to understand a different perspective at the very least. Something I knew was there, but didn't fully grasp – until I immersed myself. I understand there are flaws in this minor experiment, as I chose a very convienent time in my life and notified several people, etc. However, it being THE FIRST DAY, I am already happy I have attempted this challenge. It is a reminder of how important it is to step back and reevaluate ourselves. I don't know how the rest of the week will go, or even my normal city life after this week, but it is increasing my awareness of my normal availability to control information around me.
Day 2 of no internet– Sunday January 4th, 2015.
The internet fast has been relatively easy today especially considering I slept until 11:30. I took the challenge of making recipe-less pancakes, which turned out alright, though not superb. I had to rely a lot of my past experience and intuition. I read the paper with breakfast and decided to go see Birdman at 4:00 at the Bytowne. I read and napped and daydreamed and did dishes until then. I arrived at the bustling movie theatre and sat for 15 minutes by myself. The journey there was quite funny as the foot of snow and slush everywhere has been neglected, as I think people are still in holiday mode and not in the mood to shovel. So every step was a smash, crunch, violent mess in the status quo of snow. It made getting across downtown quite funny. I also did the run-slide routine, some stranger I passed did not even find it amusing, what a Scrooge.
The movie itself messed with my mind. It was directed well. A very interesting style, however the story and the character was intoxicating. It made me feel very misanthropic and lonely all at the same time. I don't know if I loved it or hated it. It followed an actor that is directing and starring in a play he wrote, which is actually so much a depiction of himself. As it progresses, he spirals into insanity until at the end we see him attempt suicide in front of his audience. One thing that stuck with me was a quote that was on his mirror, that the camera kept exposing: “a thing is a thing not what is said about that thing.” I'm not quite sure what it means but I want to meditate on it.
I left so frustrated by the uneasiness that this film ignited in me. I walked around a little overwhelmed with the amount of young couple crowding the aisles and decided that I have what I need, (did I?), and just wanted to get out of there. I walked home, decided to make beer-battered avocado tacos. I drank the rest of the beer. It was delicious. I just ate, no distractions. Then I weaved a bit, then shaved my legs, did a hair mask, took a bath while I read an article in The Walrus, washed my hair and moisturized from neck to ankle. Here we are.
I want to read and I want to weave but part of me feels unfulfilled without watching something. Getting rid of internet has not gotten me away from screens. But I'm okay with that because I have not much else to do and films hold a dear part of my heart.
Day 3 – Monday; Day 4 – Tuesday; Day 5 - Wednesday - no entries.
Day 6 of no internet – Thursday January 8th, 2015.
The week has actually flown by. I am happy I did this. But it wasn't a big deal, but a refresh. One thing is I'm antsy to get going with school stuff, but I suppose soon I will be enthralled in it and will be wishing I was back here. Been hanging with L, R, S, and C. Weaving, walking, reading, watching films, sleeping. It's really cold out there. Just want to get to skate. Unable to draw, my writing is uninspired and scattered. I've been using the dictionary. Not the icon on my desktop but the book on the shelf. Rewarding. Going more in depth into my iTunes library rather than playing anachronistic pop tunes over and over on Youtube.Â
Three more days until school.
Since going back to the internet, I think the biggest difference in my mindfulness of my usage. I don't just mindlessly consume things anymore, I savour my “clicks” for things that truly are interesting. I don't go over information for the 1000th time or spend as much time on Facebook. When I've been on Facebook for a while, I notice it and just get done what I need to get done: using it more as a form of email and a way to share articles.
Since going back to school – I am more efficient with my time. The first week of school was stressful for me because I had to spend so much time looking for textbooks, looking into different courses I could take, etc – it felt like a waste of time and I got pretty frustrated.
I use my laptop less. I used to put on my laptop as soon as I woke up – so I could listen to music when I got ready or watch something during breakfast. Now I've kept up with the habit I used to have, of reading during breakfast, and sometimes play music on my laptop but more from my phone (saved files). The morning is more relaxing this way.
I am still on the internet a lot – something I didn't expect to change so much because I am definitely one of those curious people that love to just find new rhythms to vibe to, especially in the writing and art sphere. I like to see what people are making and saying and criticizing and then use that as inspiration for what I want to do.
I haven't reinstalled the apps on my home page of my smartphone. I have to try a little harder to get to them, which has decreased my use. Those icons not being there staring at my every time I look at my phone – has meant that I go on them when I actually need them or want to, rather than from muscle memory.
Overall, I'm so glad I did this. It was fascinating to see my life a bit from the outside perspective. Like one of the participants said from “No Internet Week” the documentary, I'm way more interested in the analog world than the digital, more than ever. I appreciate what I have, internet is a tool that so many people don't have. We need to understand this and be grateful for it and the freedom to use it. However, removing it from my (city) life for this short period of time, was very rewarding. I encourage others to try and do the same.
Going further with these ideas:
adbusters: "Life in the Algorithm" by Douglas Haddow
"no internet week" documentary
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
prguitarman
areudirty
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
pixelskylines
stormborns
vaporwave
