how many times i have fallen

WHO: Kit Wilde & Jasmin Puckerman ( @jasminsaysrelax ) WHAT: There’s been some confusion, for you see my roommate is... WHERE: An apartment, the residents of which are, um, up to debate. WHEN: Tuesday, 9/4, mid afternoon. WARNINGS: I mean, swearing, probably?

Kit was exhausted.

After fighting with the stupid residency department all summer, he’d finally finally gotten an off-campus apartment, in the area he wanted, for the cost he was willing to pay. There had been some snafu and he’d almost ended up all the way on the other side of town, but apparently someone had dropped out or moved at the last minute, and so everything was coming up Wilde.

He’d enlisted a couple of his buddies to help with the heavy lifting, and now he was settled in; he hadn’t met his new roommate yet - he’d wantd a single, and as a senior he felt he deserved one, but apparently they were all full up, and he couldn’t have everything. His bed existed and his clothes were about halfway to unpacked, with a couple of boxes in the living room and one box in the kitchen, but he was wiped, so he’d helped himself to one of the sixpack he’d bribed his friends with and flopped on the couch - his roommate’s couch - to watch his roommate’s TV.

It wasn’t that Kit was anxious, exactly, it was just that he felt like an interloper, even though he was exactly where he was supposed to be. It felt like he shouldn’t be there, or that there was something he was forgetting; with class tomorrow and homework already, Kit chalked it up to senior year stress and tried to focus on whatever dumb action/adventure movie was on.

Maybe his roommate was one of those guys that spent all his time at his girlfriend’s. Maybe he’d basically have a single after all. Or maybe this guy would be his new best friend, or someone he never really clicked with - as long as they didn’t hate each other, Kit figured they could make it work.

I know everyone’s going back into classes now, but summer deserves one last blast too. Last minute BBQ tomorrow, and everyone better show up!

This heatwave seems like summer’s extending its last blast, man.

San: Right. I don't think anyone could be better at that since you have that huge stick up your ass.

San: No you're not trying to be my friend and you're just mad that I won't tell you anything. I do not want to tell you anything so you can keep prying for as long as you want, you'll get nothing.

San: I said that if it bothers you, feel free to stay here, I didn't say that you couldn't come anymore. There's a difference, dumbass.

Kit: I'm not trying to get dirt on you for gossip, Santiago. I'm not prying, I'm not trying to get you to 'tell me anything' just so I'll know. I'm not a fifteen year old girl.

Kit: I'm doing what I know you'd be doing if the situation were reversed.

Yeah, if you were planning on hurting me, that doesn’t work. Also, if you’re trying to be an ass, you’re failing.

What can I say? Im an ambitious girl. Have to get more references somehow. I have five schools and I have yet to narrow it down.

I was just stating a fact. If I was trying to hurt you, you’d be hurt.

San: You sound like an old woman. If that bothers you so much, you're more than welcome to stay in San Francisco.

San: It's none of your damn business.

Kit: You sound like a little bitch, and I'm pretty sure an old woman can't knock your ass out, which is what's gonna happen if you keep that shit up. Drop the holier than thou schtick, we both know that's my area of expertise.

Kit: I'm trying to be your friend, jackass. You're avoiding the damn question which makes me think the answer is 'no, Kit, there's no plan, and I'm making this up as I go and how dare you call me on it'.

I’m perfect, as always. You know that.

You had a little bit, I said that. And I’m sure you haven’t had to put that much effort in since then, must be why you seem a little rusty. Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you for now. I’m saying your social media could use some variety. But if you’re planning to send shirtless pics, I wouldn’t say no. 

I don’t know anything of the sort. You left the golden state in favor of a pollution-choked city that houses over 66,000 people per square mile. You could be way less perfect than I remember.

You’re ridiculous. 

Relax, you weren’t that charming, Doc. You never know, that kind of altruistic aesthetic could rack up the followers. If you’re throwing in shirtless pics in between your posts about volunteering and ‘Like if you love Jesus’ memes. 

You started it. So what does that make you?

Thanks, I guess Kit. How are you?

Pretty much where ever they need me to be, actually. I figured since Im going to grad school after graduation might be a good idea to have that under my belt. Even though I’ll be also teaching somewhere.

Good. Especially considering I’ve never stepped foot in Ohio and never will.

San: Is that even important?

San: What are you? My mom? I don’t need you to tell me what to do, I’m not stupid. Keep your comments to yourself, Kit.

Kit: I think you have to be at least a little bit stupid to accidentally knock a girl up in this day and age. And you have to be a little more than a little stupid to accidentally knock a girl up and then immediately plan an out of state getaway.

Kit: I'm not your mother, Santiago. It's not my job to swaddle you, so I'm not going to be like congratulations :) when you're making so many mistakes.

Okay, Kiki. 

You have your moments, I’ll give you that. Alright, I’ll bite. What have you been up to? Little bit of both. I watched for a few days and then took over the twitter feed for events and monitored trends. It was fun. 

Okay, Jazzy.

San: Good idea. I hope there will be lobster too.

San: I don't know, man. There's the rent to pay and now the baby so I'm not sure gambling is a good idea.

Kit: So you're going to Vegas to....not gamble?

Kit: Seriously. How are you not freaking the Hell out, Santiago? How are you even thinking about Bright's birthday? You're going to be a father. There's going to be a real human baby that's going to call you dad and you're going to have to raise it and pay for it and keep it from licking electrical sockets.

I want to say that I have been doing amazing things, but I haven’t. My dad took us back to Ohio, visited some family. Here’s the kicker, the old man has a girlfriend. Yep, that’s right. Christopher Hudson has a girlfriend and its quite intersting. Though, I might have an internship at LA Times, which would be amazing. How’s everyone? Dreading for classes like me?

Ohio? My condolences.