pet a dog today

AN EXTREMELY CURSED ITEM

Everyday is like. Endure Emotions and Complete Tasks. Can I die

The Pacific Ocean is wider than the Moon. Anyway how’s your day going?

dip moon like cookie

God what’s that one poem abt homosexuality. Of all definitions of homosexuality I’ve read not one mentions love. That one

remember when harry held up a sign that said “DTF” thinking it meant dedicated to fans hdjdjdjdjs

Do you ever think about that freaky little fish dude that evolved to have arm fins that allowed it to avoid predators in the ocean by literally removing itself from the situation and going to shallow water and/or land and that’s the thing all land animals are related to because I sure do

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

The worst part about this post??? People saying “with cheese!” Bitch cheese is literally in the word if it had no cheese it would be a dilla

in some places a quesadilla doesnt include cheese

the mood for 2019

HONEY what a mood.

women just get it. and men don’t. won’t elaborate

I cant believe this is actually john mulaney and not a parody blog created for the sole purpose of making this shitpost