Misanthropy and Wisdom

1min 38sec long.

He snaps awake. He's lying on his back, stiff as a board. Sky, and tree leaves. Branches. What the fuck? How do I know what this stuff is? Knowledge from… there must be others.

He raises his head up. No pain. God!!! Glad I suddenly know what THAT is. Fucking Jesus. To be avoided, for sure.

Alright, up. Why is this so easy: getting u– hold on, I just explained myself. Something can hear me…

Hello?

Yes, it's a book. It's your fucking life, I know, I'm fucking sorry, but it's a book. I don't know what else to say, Savior. Oh, give yourself a name at some point. That's all.

Oookay. Name. Book. He's apologizing and better not FUCK THIS UP!!! Thought… communication… He says he's got this, and highly experienced. Shinto is how. Fuck.

Savior… Like… Jesus. Wow what a creature he is. Ha! Yeah, right. We'll see, you say. Bastard.

Okay, where am I? In… what the– in time. Where am I in time? Victorian something-or-other, but politically… pillaged… Africa. And Africa is like frontier, he says, being white. And one of them–

Skrrrrt. No. Never one of them. Ever. Just some traits from them but I ain't them. Call me cracker and I'll blow this bitch up. Or honky you little–

ALRIGHT! But they are the enemy and–

ALWAYS

WILL

BE

Fuck I'm going to sleep. Ha… This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A ugh… humans. Modern humans… Something about time…

[...] There's moments of calm in well designed combat, not just screeching, roaring, flailing on your controller until the encounter is over. None of you would know anything about that though because your Smokin Sexy Style combat is boring and offensive to look at.

Just some very basic stuff. I've done way more intense and astonishing stuff with the sword in training: people watching saying that I could fuck people up with that plastic sword, lol. But the gun becomes good, especially the dodge, and then the sword is just okay mostly. I know I use it more like a saber than a katana.

Once upon a time there was a...

Horse, ravenous with hunger and hatred

Frothing as if diseased, they would say

They

They

Them

And he roared and charged down the fence, the electricity searing pain into his core--

The price of defiance,

I am overjoyed to have written more, and it was fun as fuck to write. I roared silently at one point in between writing bouts. God, this shit feels good to make; you have no idea.

Here we go.

Olenos feels a gentle fatigue, after an absurd amount of time, and looks over at Emily to check on her. She's fine, apparently. He returns his attention to managing his endurance, then it abruptly occurs to him that he's dragging along two others, and if he's tired at all then they are about to collapse.

He says suddenly to the group, clueless to the concept that Emily could or should have input, “We stop here.” They have just entered into forest and Olenos figured it would be no problem to make a fire here. He heads off a little deeper into the woods for some solitude and leaves Emily to handle the other two, like she is very capable of.

The moment he leaves line of sight of the party, someone, dressed in jewels and gold and diamonds– that's all he could note– explodes out of the underbrush with a, timed with the attack yet somehow still utterly berserk, wail as if burning to death and the fire has just reached the muscle. Olenos is shocked into incapacitation by this screech, total disbelief, and takes an axe into his neck. He reels from the impact and the severing of an artery, feeling blinding pain as the blood, normally tranquil, torrents pressure against the axe blade. 

The thing, it is clearly human but it's, yet, far from it, has entered into a wicked, overwhelming joy and is bracing to start hacking into Olenos like a tree and mutilate him to death. Olenos catches a vision of a floating, colorful sphere with a clownish face on it, rip-roaring with overjoyed and wicked, derisive laughter at the both of them. He explodes into rage, roaring as he slams his right fist into the ribcage of this thing on him, snapping the two ribs he concusses like twigs. The thing erupts into sorrow and it actually looks like it's pouting too, as it staggers back wheezing. It did not manage, just goddamn barely, to pull the axe out of the wound.

Olenos reaches up, knowing exactly where to grab the fucking thing, and jerks the axe out of his neck. He instantly slams his demon arm onto his neck and it emits a soft red glow. He grimaces and snarls as the painful healing effect works on him, planning out kicks to launch this thing away from him when it charges again, bracing for that hellish sound it makes.

It shows intense pleasure, looking up at nothing in adulation, and then cackles as if it's won. Olenos removes his demon arm from the vanished wound and gestures his thumb at his not arterial spraying jugular. The thing laughs exactly like the clown-sphere did and Olenos snaps like a rubber band inside, pulling up his demon arm and charging it to give the source of this laugh the most torturous death conceivable, and torture his own skin away. It gives a look like nothing he can do will hurt it, and Olenos turns it up to 11 and erupts from his arm tortured screams, the sound of a thousand lightning bolts, and a depth of wickedness that any idea of Satan can only scratch the surface of. Olenos is looking for it intently and catches it, the moment the deep reality of its punishment completely devoured it, just a spark of an instant, before being consumed by the agony his anticipation allowed him to ignore. He screams out into the ether of his mind that he's overdone it, remembers every bit of why he did it, and soars like a Phoenix into a new level of pain tolerance.

Emily was waiting to hear this sound, after the wailing that everyone with her was terrified of, and sprints to Olenos’s side to heal him with something that doesn't fucking hurt– she's so sick of how he was made to feel agony with every breath he takes. She sees his condition and charges her arm. He senses the immense threat it is to him, and looks at her with a devastating dismissal of her decision making ability. She snaps into a new move and fires her arm into the tip of itself and showers Olenos's gore-meat-stick of an arm, barely anything left (“Jesus fucking Christ no, no,” she thinks as she finally sees it), with pleasure and healing and how angels know what they're doing but are cowards, and Olenos is soothed beyond measure and much more than what he had anticipated from Emily's assistance.

Edit:

Epilogue of scene.

Olenos and Emily are off in the woods, though apparently nearby-- it's dead silent now. Ares is annoyed at something, God knows with him. Probably his dead fucking species talking to him. Er, race. Which... I'll get to that later.

Thinking to myself here, Marcus thinks to no one, though he suspects its whoever the fuck is... we'll get to that later. Ugh.

Whatever, don't people usually make a campfire in these situations? I guess I can do that, if I can FUCKING remember. God, that sucked. The recent thing too motherfucker-- why do I do this? Waste of fuckin' breath.

Flint, glad I "stole" that. And, gather up dry shit. Fucking impossible. Well-- Eh, screw it anyway. No one wants a fire. No fucking way--

Schizophrenia reddit

It is indeed a ton of pinning medals on each other in here, but-- I have good news.

EV E RY subreddit is like that. And every pack of dirtlings is like that. They are formed from dirt, never improve their soil, and then band together by the most common weakness they share-- the lowest common denominator. That's what every pack of these things is.

Individuals like you are... on occasion they lead people to sprout ever so slightly, but usually they're the enemy. Any challenge is antagonistic to the weak, and that's why they "blow smoke up each other's asses" as you put it. It's the polar opposite of a challenge so they love it.

So I would say they are... well here specifically, occasionally interesting. And a source of validation if you angle your strike just perfectly.

Devil May Cry reddit

Let me pacify you since you're xenophobic about weebs for whatever reason.

Look through my post history, just fly through, and it's nothing but video games and an illness I have. Which doesn't do shit really, as far as debilitation, but anyway--

Look for me saying jack shit about anime. There's one thing about Cowboy Bebop and everyone has seen that, or they're honestly a loser. There's some shit because I like Code Vein's gameplay, which is the anime dark souls game, but I got banned from there for being overly critical of someone's... fucking OC which was the goddamn default character as far as I could see. Fucking hopefully a 4 year old, but I told them to name "the piece" A Dude. Because I'm critical of art and *that's* why I have this pfp, because it's really very good and you can check that too.

And then let me post the pfp in question, which, pfp stands for profile pic. I think. Probably.

Oh, and this will follow up the video from earlier in the blog. Pfp is at the very bottom.

Schizophrenia reddit

I pursue power. I want to be a god in the afterlife, which I think everyone will be, but I'm shooting for 50k years rather than a million-- to become that.

But, I have worked on myself for years and years, even going at it, every waking moment, for a stretch of 2 years. I also have an unfair advantage in that I'm a martyr, or was tortured extensively, so I have this extreme compassion and empathy fried into me.

But, power is what you want. You should work on yourself while attaining power, and you will be fine with it. There's a ton to discover about morality but one thing is that everyone has a different destiny, which means a different moral compass. It's your personal moral compass that decides right and wrong, and you have to feel for that because it's, and I mean this, literally impossible to know unless you're right there in that moment.

But De Wa is something that I do in psychosis, every single time, and now I'm pretty certain I'm normal, and I probably seem so in the video, and I'm still doing De Wa because it's... a need. I cannot do mundane life as is, anymore. I've had enough. And when I was manic this time, which I know I'm not now because I will do non-activity, I was drastically more in control and disciplined. It was like half strength, so I know I'm improving and can like, allow De Wa to be because I'll be fine.

My gorgeous Reddit pfp:

Shinto with DmC. Talking to Dante, the enemies, and that lamppost actually had an evil aura (which Dante now says is typical in Limbo) and that's why I smashed it. Also, DmC is the best Devil May Cry game by far and away. Love that shit. Can't wait to get a TV and a PS5 Pro (that's the plan) so I can play and stream it again. And of course, Code Vein.

Btw, you'll notice that Shinto translates into skill and more realistic gameplay. It puts you in the moment, like Zen, when you're interacting with everything on screen. Also, I'm united with Dante for this and that's why I can't recover instantly from being hit-- my partner in it is actually hurting from each strike. The way we take hits is realistic for a reason, because he can't just snap into a dodge after a blow, and I refuse to seize control away from him that way. Doing so would get us fucked later anyway, which, that there is combat understanding I gained from Sekiro: how Bushido, general morality in a fight, causes better performance.

I lost my computer, Playstation 5, TV, and Nintendo Switch, and my phone. The last two got stolen, I sold the PS5, and I gave away the computer before my old place trashed it. At the old place, where I lived with a bunch of ex-addicts, I was assaulted, I think, 8 times. I tried to sue but the higher ups at the halfway house started kicking everybody out over it, I guess. Can't reach my target with mail so I can't sue him.

While I was homeless I was like half-manic, or a much more controlled manic than usual, and it made it so it wasn't suffering. I had a glimpse of what it would be like if I weren't "up" and it would've been horror. Just despair at the endless expanse of boredom and nothingness, while I try to fall asleep on a picnic table.

While homeless, and this is very much a lasting thing, I got very into Shinto. I learned in school that Shinto is the belief that all things are conscious, all the way down to the atomic level. So, now I have empathy for the phone I'm typing this on, and he kind of objected and I had to ask permission to keep going, just now.

Schizophrenia mixes well with Shinto because I can actually communicate with everything instead of having to guess what they might want me to do. Or go by the vibe in the air, which is legitimate but also a bit vague. Shinto also teaches you that evil spirits, kami, are the reason people are evil. I call that Sin, but it's just about exactly the same philosophy since I believe Sin are conscious and outputting the effect they have on people intentionally, but I'll go into it some other time. Olenos, from the book I'm working on, Grey, has visions of Sin and his people detect Sin's influence, wickedness, all across their world.

I'll note when the new stuff starts.

----------------------------------

"We kill our way out of the city."

Two armed guards, set on one of the few tasks they expect to get enjoyment from, approach the dilapidated home of Ares and Emily. Ares has lived there with Emily since he wandered in out of the forest, catatonic from trauma, and she was the first person his husk bumped into. Which is something Emily has always marveled at-- the luck of it-- and thanked God over. Olenos, who showed up at nearly the same time and is well known for being the only half-demon anyone has ever seen, played the role of father, and while frequently absent like he is now, was a positive influence when there. Emily would argue with that though, as it taught Ares to curse with abandon.

The guards come up to the house, which is almost a landmark now because of its inhabitants' reputations, and one of them knocks aggressively on the door. After realizing the door barely holds together, he kicks it open easily and steps inside. He announces authoritatively, "You're being arrested for harboring a fugitive. Both of you." Emily responds indignantly, though not suprised that the guards would just barge in, "What? Why?" She refers to Olenos, not bothering to conceal that they know each other and assured that this is about him, "He hasn't been back here." The guard has a wicked smirk. Ares recognizes the look on the guard and, unbidden, recalls the plan Emily and Olenos had pushed on him so many times. The guard says with venom in his tone, "So you admit he has been here." Emily is annoyed, "I mean, everyone knows that. He wasn't a fugitive then." The guard finishes his charade and seals the duo's fate, "Knowing him is enough for an interrogation." Emily stiffens, "Wait. I know what that means." She growls out, "You fucking people--" She directs her voice at Ares but doesn't look at him, "It's time, kid."

Ares stiffens in shock at the completed realization of what's about to happen, and his ghost wolf companion jumps out, on its own, from within Ares's body in response to his sudden burst of fear. The wolf lands, now fully corporeal, with force in a vicious posture and ready to rip out the heart of whatever Ares is afraid of. Emily makes no attempt at obfuscating her defiance and shoots to her feet to push-kick the guard who was just speaking, who abruptly clicks from a look of arrogance into helpless surprise, and knocks him back into the other guard who is still in the doorway. Ares's wolf leaps at the guard who was just kicked with almost a roar and latches onto his throat, twirling him towards the wall on the right and causing the other guard to stumble instead of fully drawing his weapon. The wolf easily rips out the first's esophagus once he's on the ground, but the second guard is finally striking down at the wolf with his axe. Ares pulls his companion back into himself as he sees the guard's axe falling, desperate to protect his friend, and a loose chunk of throat flies a short distance along this path as the wolf struggles to remain in reality. Ares lashes out with the ghost wolf's claw from a distance as soon as he can, but the guard has backstepped out of the doorway as a follow-up to missing with his axe, so Ares only scrapes the first guard that's convulsing and gurgling on the ground. By now Emily has grabbed her spear and has had some time to aim, and launches it into the second guard's face, just below his helmet. He tries to parry with the head of his axe, being already set in defensive tactics after his backstep, but the massive half-corporeal wolf claw blinded him like a smokescreen and the projectile appears as suddenly as a lightning bolt. He is impaled through the bridge of his nose by the spear and dies immediately. Emily quickly retrieves the spear using her arm's energy tether, almost as part of the action of throwing it, and this makes the guard's death beyond certain. She finishes off the other guard as he finally enters his death throes.

(cont.)

Ares says to himself while shaking, after taking in what just happened, "Ohh... Shit." Emily is taking stock of their situation, "We're supposed to wait until he gets back, if this happens, but we're a target now." Ares is quickly losing hope, "What do we do? We can't just run down the street." Emily begins to plot coldly, "I-- someone saw this, probably, and if not then the other guards will know when these ones don't come back. But, we need to act as if the whole city already knows. We'll have an advantage if we're taking it as open conflict before others. We kill our way out of the city." The wolf is aware of Ares's worry, and his guilty fear of being caught, and has been pulling the loose body into the house. Ares is in shock, "Jesus... Jesus..." Emily admonishes him, "Didn't we prepare you for this?" Ares justifies himself confidently, "Yeah, but it's actually happening." He pleads with Emily in a tone of incredulation at how insane her plan always was, but especially is now, now that the version where they massacre half of the people he grew up with is about to happen, "Can't we TRY to sneak out? Holy fucking shit." Emily hesitates anxiously, but registers what this is like for Ares and concedes, "Fine. We'll act innocent, but we start killing as soon as a guard pays attention to us." She comments in frustration, "Goddammit... I'd rather get ahead of this." They begin to leave, with the wolf now returned to Ares's spirit and emitting into him a mixture of dull grief at having killed and a pitying love, but Ares notices a basket on the table, grabs it, and shoves it into Emily's stomach. He tells her the cover story that just occurred to him, pleading, "We're buying groceries." Emily looks at him with compassion that she can't help, then sighs.

They leave the building and someone nearby screams, "They're coming out!" Ares realizes there's no hope now and starts to cry. A small mob of people have loosely surrounded the exit of their house, with more coming. Emily drops the basket, faintly annoyed at how stupid it was to have been holding it, and, filling with hatred, commands them, "You will move aside so we can leave." A man at the front of the crowd screams spitefully to make sure no one does this, "Fuck you!!" Ares's wolf acts on its own again and lurches out of Ares to charge towards the man, completely unwilling to tolerate his tone. Emily makes the decision like flicking a switch, and follows immediately behind the enraged animal. Ares instantly overcomes his emotions out of a desire to protect his dog and chases after them. The man who yelled stumbles back in fear of the animal specifically targeting him, and the rest of the people on that side band together to block the pariahs in. The man is unable to back up further. The wolf tries to stop and threaten the man, but Ares picks him up while Emily does a leaping thrust with her spear and stabs the man through the face. She blasts away the rest of his head with her arm power and rips her spear out of the gore to the side, slashing the first person across the face and making the two nearest people jerk their heads back to avoid the blade. Some of the crowd flee to get help. Emily pulls back into a combat stance, while Ares has set his wolf back down, realizing he got in his protector's way and has to follow his lead. The crowd that remains is ready to fight.

One steps forward tentatively and is immediately slashed to ribbons by three quick strikes from Emily's spear. At the same time, another approaches Ares with more confidence, somewhat aware of what he's capable of as a healer and how he should be the primary target, and is ravaged to the bone by a claw as Ares steps back, weaving the wolf into himself, and gestures to the side like a dancer, hurling the claw out. His extensive combat training mixes with some of Emily's contagious hatred, as well as with the wolf's ferocious influence, and the violence comes naturally which scares him a little. After this quick opener from the crowd, Emily is nearly pounced on by two more, and three, who are more familiar with his ability, rush at Ares to make sure the first two on Emily aren't fighting for nothing. Emily stiff arms the more imminent threat in the solar plexus and leans away from the other's lunging punch to deliver a side kick to his throat, then blasts her arm through the first, stunned, attacker. She vaporizes most of him and obliterates one person who was directly in the path behind him, singeing the two next to them, who writhe in ecstasy on the ground afterwards-- which is the effect Emily's arm has on things even when it's killing them. Ares dives away from his three attackers, fearing the intensity of their malevolence, and the wolf delivers a fade-away strike from within him to disrupt their offensive, striking the air just in front of them. Ares rolls when he hits the ground then raises up his hands as he returns upright. The wolf's mouth, magnified in size, comes up from below the three of them and crashes inward, holding them in a vice-grip. Emily, done with her set now, pirouettes over to land in front of them and delivers an aimed strike after a delay, decapitating two with her spear and lodging it halfway into the jaw of the shorter third, who screams out in despair and frustration. The rest of the crowd, who didn't have the courage to attack at the outset, certainly don't have enough of it to attack now, but a small detachment of guards show up with an angel-mask who seems disinterested.

(cont.) New stuff here.

As the crowd begins to disperse, Emily expels a hard breath and Ares feels an overwhelming joy that the conflict is ending, tearing up again. He feels the wolf lick its lips within him, then abruptly snarl. As the guards enter the field, weapons drawn, the crowd reforms to block the path again. The angel-mask is annoyed that she can't see anything, and so tentatively, gracefully flows through the crowd to get somewhat near the front.

Emily is hesitant to kill a guard in the open, as that would be crossing a major line in this society, but Ares is primed to lash out in hatred that this goddamn conflict is starting up again. A guard steps forward to mediate, weapon raised in the air, and is torn into thirds by two of the wolf's claws hitting him at once. Ares screams and roars at the same time at the rest of the guards, who are taken aback by both events. The angel-mask peers through a gap between two civilians and catches an eyefull of gore and carnage. Her interest piques, since no one she's heard of before is capable of this.

Emily casts away any hope of peace and accepts that she's an outlaw, in an instant, and sets into a fighting stance. The angel-mask can see that Emily is an angel-mask as well and gasps. “One of us defying Light?! Defying all of this that we've built?? We are gods!” She is trembling but is still observing herself, and sets into standby like an alligator in the water. Emily smashes aside the sword of a guard, who didn't even want to attack her and was only approaching, and stabs him through the stomach with both hands on her spear. She releases her grip with her right hand and grabs onto the guards neck, pulling out the spear with her left before plunging it back in. She does this once more then pushes him over, and kicks him the rest of the way to the ground. “I might as well make a show of it,” she thinks, of her break with society. Two guards charge, enraged beyond reason. One is swallowed up by a wolf's mouth from below, sent to God knows where but presumably somehow within Ares's soul, and the other engages Emily.

The angel-mask launches her attack at the moment the two clash. She fires a blue beam from her finger and pierces Emily through the groin. Emily is consumed by pleasure and the truth of God's holiness as the guard slices away the arm that she had been firing off during the earlier stages of the fight at the shoulder. The searing, blinding pain of the strike against her still extremely sensitive arm clashes with the pleasure and totally overwhelms her. She screams in agony, voice cracking, and Ares lunges into a heal to save her. As he does so the guard that was devoured erupts into reality, along with the wolf, and grapples with the animal before posturing up and cutting its head off. Ares is rocked by the death of his partner, blindsided by it when he had his attention on healing Emily, and rips the wolf’s blood spraying corpse out of reality and back into himself. The guard is missing much of the skin of his face and falls over onto his back, utterly exhausted.

This boss makes her entrance by raising her leg above the (actually very shallow) water (but I guess it isn't for this moment) like it's a shark fin and swims around beneath your group menacingly. She leaps over top of all of you and showers you with water before landing on her sickle provocatively.

The leg as a shark fin thing, is stupid, but her being sexual when she's a serious threat is very antagonizing and she seems to be especially dangerous, by this show of sexuality. It hits pretty well, just how she is as a person, being like a battle stripper, but delicate sensibilities mixing with misandry had everyone complaining-- I think especially at this point-- that there's too much tits in this game. Which with Io, your character's caretaker, I can see it since you fall asleep in her lap right after meeting her, and she seriously dresses like a prostitute. The deal with Io is that she probably only has a tenuous grasp on what clothes even are, so just overall it's not as big a deal as people love to make of it. But yes, in this case the sexuality is menacing and it serves the fight well, and the boss is kind of juxtaposed with how modest the other sexualized female characters are.

(By the way, a lot of the people complaining about this boss were men. That's a misandry thing too-- it doesn't become something else just because the unchecked infection has spread to new hosts. And you'll notice how the whole thing hurts women too; just as toxic masculinity hurts men.)

------------------------

Let's get to the actual fight. So, I fought this boss over the last 3 days and that was the only gaming I did-- I only fought this boss.

She, Invading Executioner, is a melee threat with the occasional ranged attack, and then in her second phase she has a vicious and abrupt rushing attack that can kill you in one shot and has a lot of reach. Luckily she does a spin into this attack, and doesn't just do it, so there's a small window where you see her lithely go into it that gives you a chance at survival. Identifying this window is a point that is certain to deliver you a few grievous wounds on the first playthrough, because it comes quick as fuck, but it's a great attack and it gives every moment a threat because she can just turn and do it out of nowhere.

So the main threat is that rush attack, which you actually get to have yourself, from her weapon, when you defeat her, and everything else is long reaching vertical strikes and sweeps from her sickle. Which come after a delay, usually, and feeling her movement as she readies for each strike feels good. It feels like she puts a lot of power in and dodging early is set up so that it leads straight into getting hit, so her attacks are well timed with when players might typically screw up their dodges. There is one other part though that makes every hit from Invading Executioner especially deadly.

All of her attacks cause Slow buildup. Any hit on you takes a chunk out of you beyond the health, because if you get hit a few more times you've got one foot in the grave from Slow. And Slow is devastating. It's probably among the worst status effects to get in soulslikes, and you can narrowly survive with it on you but you might as well go for the Anti-Slow use, hope to get it, and be fine with dying if you can't get it off.

So I'm playing video games again, although not 1/10 as much as I was. I enjoy them more, and I'm playing stuff I like instead of always playing something new. And then I play for fun, too, and not like, to beat a level. I'm at Cathedral in Code Vein, so I just did the invasion there and dipped; like I'm not gonna suffer through that level-- not today anyway. And it's like "You have to [suffer through the level] if you wanna play the game," and I have the super power now to do whatever tf I want to just to have fun. I don't have to go anywhere I can just fight the same three enemies until I'm satisfied.

But I'm very glad I have this skill, at video games, because I think people look at soulslikes, which are the most difficult games available, and it's like a cookie jar they can't reach. And I had my issues with gaming addiction, but now I have a skill that is, "enjoying yourself" and that's a fucking crazy valuable skill to have. Like when I'm old and in hospice, I'll be mega grateful for this skill, of gaming. It doesn't have to obstruct your life progress like it tends to for people, it can just be fun and allow you to enjoy life more.

But it's also valuable anyway because gaming uh... it comes up here and there. Knowledge of how fights actually go down has helped me with my book, and then I noticed that in Thor: Ragnarok the fight scene is very videogamey, which made it better and could improve a litany of creative works. Knowledge of video games can improve projects, so it's hardly a pointless pursuit. Plus it's fun, which in a better society would be valued at least equally to being productive. People who have a lot of fun are fun to be around, and if the productive guy is a stick in the mud then I'd prefer he waste time more often. But gamers don't... I won't go into it but they often don't care about fun. And that is super apparent from just multiplayer in games.

What else... well I streamed it when I did play, which was about an hour and a half over 4 sessions. And I talked during it for once, so I think it was healthy overall.

And then in my schizophrenia there was some good times but I forgot what they were. But I felt like, joyous and glad to be alive and to have this condition.

I see into what awaits us.

Agony and ecstacy alike come with the dust of The Sandman.

The follies of man rip all to shreds in a digital whirlwind.

The blood of the lamb sates the wolves among you.