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So today @juztscrollingthrough send me this video from 2009. 2009, the year Anthony said their friendship basically ended.
First part of the video where they ask "if their friendship ever been torn apart by a woman yet?" And Anthony immediately answer with "yeah his girlfriend right now" he laughs but it's obvious he thinks of it beforehand hence why he was so quick to answer to that. But Ian laughs at him. He either thinks Anthony is joking or he's not comfortable with Anthony talking about his girlfriend. And then when they ask if they have girlfriends Ian's face immediately falls as him and Anthony says yes. (Put a more closer look at the end) Now that's definitely not a "shy" look as the woman said in my eyes. It's clear that Ian is sad about it. But why? Is he sad that he had a girlfriend? Is he sad that they're talking about her in the show? Is he sad that Anthony has a girlfriend? That they can't spend enough time together now? And why didn't Anthony liked Ian's gf? As far as I know m****** and Ian is still in good terms. What was happening in Anthony's mind that made him uncomfortable? I don't wanna believe that™ woman but her story about this part looks like it's true. Anthony doesn't like Ian's gf and Ian doesn't like Anthony's. I get Ian not liking k**** but why Anthony doesn't like m******? Yeah i know that's none of ours business but it's too much of a subject now I can't stop but wonder about it. Cause we all now even if Ian threatened bad in the relationship he wouldn't tell anything. He himself said he wouldn't even understand if he put in emotional turmoil. Did something happen to make Anthony not happy? Also again why the fuck Ian is sad about them having girlfriends? He immediately puts it to Anthony by making a joke about the shy part with "oh Anthony is blushing now" but he wasn't shy it is so obvious Ian was sad. Ok on to the next part.
This part is more sadder. SAD AS FUCK. Cause here we see Anthony very openly and a little jokey but in all seriousness saying Ian that he doesn't enjoy doing editing the full time. He says "he lost the gladiator fight (this is a reference as they did fight about parts and Ian got the writing the script and him "stuck" with editing)" When the reporter confront Ian with "he wanted to do it too you're too controlling Ian" Ian looks so confused. Cause this is the first time he's hearing this and he's shocked and doesn't realize if that's a bit or serious he's looking between Anthony and the reporter awkwardly laughing. And Anthony hits him with "this is spousal abuse" Ian is confused licking his lips can't answer the reporter can't answer to Anthony he doesn't know what to say. Again we know Ian is not very open about his feelings and can't show them. That's a fact already. But in this moment we can see him can't hide his feelings and like showing his confusion. I think Ian's poker face improved after defy where he tried to act like everything is ok around the Smosh cast. In here it's still 2009, he's a young boy. And then Anthony says "I never told you but I'm very hurt by this." Referring the editing and the script writing. We know it's not a joke cause he repeats himself for Ian to hear it. Ian still can't answer but there's a little "awww" coming. He probably wants this to stop. Doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. His face is obvious but his mouth still can't make up words about how he's feeling. We see him relax a little when others laugh so he thinks it's not that serious it's not something big of a deal that makes Anthony leave. He's relaxed now and jokes about it. The others remind them that COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. TALK TO EACH OTHER. Anthony then makes another comment "you never talk with me." He's serious about this too. We can see it because when Ian came to his senses and made that a joke too and give a funny accent apologize we can see Anthony is annoyed. This is him trying and Ian once again pushing his feelings aside and turning it into jokes. Which I think Anthony sees that jokes as "Ian didn't care about me, it was always a joke to him, he didn't care about me enough" when it's just Ian trying to make it a joke so he doesn't have to be open and sincere and talk about his feelings. (This boy needs therapy((STILL)) now that he "apologized" he immediately drops his face and sulk cause he's aware it's bad too, he knows it's cringe and he knows it annoys Anthony.
Meanwhile others are STILL trying to advise them to talk to each other. They ignore that as they talk between each other "we should go to Dr Phil" "or Tyra(not sure he literally talks inside his mouth)" others tells them to find each others love languages Anthony shakes his head as a no? Ian laughs? And again they end it with SPEAK TO EACH OTHER. Which we later saw that they actually didn't do that.
Someone in the server said something like "i can't believe how they managed to stretch that till 2017" tbh i really don't know too. Cause this conversation happened literally 14 years later too. Anthony still remembers it all. My only guess is the love and connection they had for each other. Ian didn't wanna talk about it, he didn't wanna do it because he didn't want Anthony to leave, I bet he had his own problems too but he put everything aside and put on a happy mask, acting like nothing bad is happening when everything bad is happening. He tried to act like everything is fine so Anthony won't leave. And Anthony didn't say anything or maybe tried a little but got ignored by Ian. So he didn't talk about it anymore because he didn't want to annoy Ian, and then later he thought Ian didn't care anymore, he was a bad person. I don't wanna assume their friendship it's not my place. But it's so obvious that communication was the key. And from the 2009 people were telling them to talk to each other. That they didn't listen. Ofc now that they came together they talk more about their feelings and they're more open to each other. At the time they were still young and still insecure probably. But every time i saw them coming together after 6 years. It made me think that they're actually soulmates. The universe wanted them together that's why Ian transferred to that school, that's why they met in 6th grade, that's why they became best friends. The universe tears them apart because they couldn't realize the magic of their relationship. But even after 6 years they're coming together and there's STILL a sparkle that's destiny. Their path might be separated in the road but they're back together and now they're closer than ever. I'm so glad.
"If it’s real love, then let it breathe. Let them be free as a person, and if they come back to you, then that’s how you know it’s always been real. This is what you call “freedom love” in order to let them go and be free—it’s coming from love and never hate or pity. Lead with love in these conversations, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. This is not a goodbye forever, just a see you next time."
That’s sad;( Btw ‘you know who’ has no reason to throw Ian under the bus and blast that Ian wasn’t a good boyfriend to Mel in that vid like he’s still in good term with her?
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Im so into writing thisTwT Im appreciate everyone who read my silly little story.I will upload this on AO3 when I finish writing everything. It’s on Wattpad for now
Chapter 3: I Want to Understand You
As the morning light gently filtered into Ian's room, he stirred from his sleep and reached out, only to find the absence of Anthony beside him. A subtle pang of sadness tugged at his heart, but he couldn't help but smile as he reflected on the sweet moments they had shared the night before. It offered some solace.
With a renewed sense of determination, Ian get up and prepared himself for another day at school.
Walking to school alone felt like a heavy burden on Ian's shoulders. The absence of Anthony by his side is still unbearable. He really need to get used to this.
Arriving at school, Ian couldn't help but notice how Anthony continued to ignore him, as if the events of the past day were nothing more than a distant memory. Ian longed to understand what was going on in Anthony's mind, but still he couldn't.
He knew that Anthony cared for him deeply, but the complexities of their friendship left him feeling bewildered and hurt. Why couldn't they just hang out like real best friends, he wondered. The love between them was undeniable, but understanding the intricacies of Anthony's actions remained a challenge Ian was determined to unravel.
Ian couldn't help but watch as Anthony mingled with his so-called "not friends" friends, a mixture of frustration and longing tugging at his heart. Why can't I be having fun with him like them?
Before the class started, two friendly faces approached him. It was Mari and Melanie, the only people apart from Anthony with whom he hung out regularly. They greeted him with warm smiles and settled in beside him.
Mari, with her bright eyes, grinned and complimented, "Ian, you're looking even cuter than ever"
Melanie chimed in, " Yeah, the bowl cut suits you omg"
Ian blushed at their kind Words. These girls are like a ray of sunshine. Anthony doesn't really bother them hanging out with me unlike when Ian tried to make friends with other guys. Ian really appreciate and grateful for their presence in his life.
Mari's sharp eyes caught him off guard as she observed him staring at Anthony and his friends from across the room. She didn't mince words, stating, "Anthony no longer hangs out with you?"
Ian, caught in his emotions, quickly responded, "No, we're still friends. He's just... well, he doesn't want to hang out in public, like last year."
Mari and Melanie, both concerned and upset, didn't hold back their feelings. Mari's voice carried a note of frustration as she said, "Ian, that guy is such an... well, excuse my language, he is a fucking asshole. I don't think he's your best friend."
Melanie added her own thoughts, her expression showing genuine concern. "Maybe it's time to make some new friends, Ian. You deserve friends who treat you better."
Ian, his heart aching, tried to defend Anthony, concealing his own inner turmoil. "No, really," he said, even though his heart was breaking inside. "I'm okay with it. I just... I don't want new friends."
Deep down, only God know how much he longed to be someone Anthony not ashamed of being a best friend with. Why can't he be the one?
To lighten the mood and divert his attention, Ian shifted his focus to Mari and Melanie. They chatted animatedly about school and upcoming assignments, as the class began, leaving the complexities of his friendship with Anthony behind, at least for the moment.
-</3-
As the class came to an end, Ian bid farewell to Mari and Melanie, putting on a brave face despite the turmoil in his heart. However, his attempt to distance his feelings from Anthony didn't last long.
In the corridor, Ian stumbled upon a disheartening sight. Anthony and a girl, the same one he had seen in Anthony's car, were making out by the lockers. Ian felt his heart drop at the sight.
Hastily, he moved on to his next class, where he spotted David talking to some other students. He greeted David with a wave, but he chose to sit far away, not wanting to upset Anthony or to be embroiled in any more drama. He is tired.
Ian had grown accustomed to the ever-changing cast of girls in Anthony's life, over time. In the beginning, he would inquire about Anthony's girlfriends, only to be met with silence and frustration, as if he were prying into forbidden territory. Anthony had become adept at dodging questions about his dating life, and Ian had learned to stop asking.
Now, when he noticed Anthony with yet another girl, a familiar pang of jealousy and hurt still tugged at his heart. He tried to ignore it, to mask the hurt with indifference, but deep down, he couldn't help but wish for a time when it was just the two of them.
When Anthony entered the classroom, he silently placed a milk candy on Ian's desk without a word or a glance. Ian understood that Anthony, a vegan, likely left the candy because he couldn't eat it himself. Without drawing attention to the gesture, Ian simply left the candy untouched on his desk.
Ian's phone buzzed with a message notification from Anthony. The message simply read, "Eat it. I got it for you because someone said it tastes really good."
Ian hesitated for a moment, conflicted by his feelings. He glanced at Anthony, who was watching him with a stern expression, seemingly upset that Ian hadn't appreciated the gesture.
With a resigned sigh, Ian decided to break the tension. He peeled the wrapper off the candy and took a bite. As the sweet flavor spread across his tongue, he couldn't help but admit that it tastes pretty good.
Another message slid into Ian's phone, and this time it was a simple inquiry from Anthony: "How's that?"
Ian replied, "It's good, Anthony. Thank you."
As he glanced over at Anthony, he couldn't help but notice how Anthony's stern expression from before had shifted into a genuine smile, and he was once again engrossed in conversation with his friends.
With a soft sigh, Ian took a moment to gather his thoughts and wrote down a poem:
"To my unknown lover, I weep day by day and night by night, wishing you wouldn't be a devil in disguise"
-</3-
At the lunch break, Ian opted for a secluded spot on the school's rooftop terrace. It offered a peaceful escape from the bustling lunchtime crowds, allowing him to enjoy his meal in solitude without the risk of unwanted dramas with Anthony.
A message from Anthony lit up Ian's phone screen: "Where are you? Are you with that orange head?"
Ian sighed before replying, "No, I'm on the rooftop, eating my lunch alone."
Anthony's response, a simple "good;)", carried a hint of reassurance. Despite their complicated dynamics, it was a relief for Ian to know that Anthony still cared about him. Or is he?
-<3-
As Ian was walking home, he heard David's voice calling out his name from a distance. He stopped and waited, watching as David approached.
"Hey, I was looking for you at lunch," David said with a friendly smile. "Where have you been?"
Ian, not wanting to complicate things further, decided to offer a simple explanation. "Oh, I was in the library, reading books," he replied.
David nodded in understanding. "That sounds like you," he said with a chuckle. "Mind if we walk together? We're headed in the same direction."Ian, despite his reservations, agreed.
As Ian and David continued to walk together chatting , the unmistakable sound of Anthony's race car reverberated down the road. Ian, hoping to avoid any confrontation, chose to ignore it, thinking that Anthony wouldn't notice him either way.
However, to his surprise, the car suddenly pulled up alongside him and David, coming to a stop.
As Anthony's car screeched to a halt beside him and David, they exchanged curious glances. Anthony, without so much as a glance their way, told Ian with a stern tone, "Get in."
Ian, taken aback by Anthony's abruptness, stammered out a quick farewell to David, who appeared confused by the situation.
Ian: "Uh, David, I'll see you at school tomorrow."
David nodded, still puzzled, and this seemed to intensify Anthony's stern expression.
Anthony revved the engine impatiently as Ian settled into the passenger seat, then slammed his foot on the gas pedal, speeding away from the scene without a word.
The ride to Ian's home remained shrouded in heavy silence. Anthony didn't utter a single word, and Ian felt equally unable to break the tension. The drive was brief, and when they arrived at his destination, Ian mustered up the courage to speak.
Ian: "Thank you for dropping me off."
But Anthony didn't respond. He continued to grip the steering wheel, his gaze fixed straight ahead, his expression resolute.
Ian stepped out of the car, and as he closed the door, Anthony impulsively tossed a package of candy that had been in the car onto the ground. The candy bag landed at Ian's feet with a thud. Before Ian could react, Anthony sped off without a single word.
Ian stood there, holding the discarded candy bag, watching as Anthony's car vanished from sight. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within him, leaving him uncertain about how to process what just happened. Why are you being like that, Anthony? I want to understand you. I really do.
-</3-
Chapter 4: Sugar, We’re Going Down
That evening, Ian waited, hoping Anthony show up at his house to talk things out. But Anthony didn't even answer Ian's calls or reply to his messages. Ian's attempts to study and distract himself fell flat. Maybe studying is not the best way to distract after all.
After completing his schoolwork and having dinner, Ian turned his attention to a project he'd been working on for months – a red sweater meant to be a birthday present for Anthony. Ian isn't a master at crocheting, but he had poured his heart into this gift, and it was turning out quite well.
Anthony had a peculiar quirk; he didn't like Ian spending too much money on him. This was evident when, on the last birthday, Ian had bought him a silver chain with the money he'd saved up all year. Anthony had stormed out, frustrated, cause he believed such gifts didn't require much effort and simply buying something like this for him doesn't make him feel special.
But Ian's intentions were different. He simply wanted to reciprocate the kindness Anthony had shown him over the years, with gifts like video games and merchandise. Despite the rocky start, Ian had noticed that Anthony still wore that silver chain every day since then. It was a silent acknowledgment that, in his own way, Anthony did appreciate the gesture and it's warm his heart.
Worry gnawed at Ian as he stared at the almost-finished sweater meant for Anthony. With this complicated situation between them he worried that he couldn't get a chance to never give him. He gently set the sweater aside and decided to make one last attempt to reach Anthony before retiring for the night.
Dialing Anthony's number, Ian hoped for a response, but there was only silence on the other end. Ian let out a heavy sigh, feeling the despair welling up within him.
In a last-ditch effort, he sent a message: "Good night, Anthony. Sleep well. I miss you." With that, he set his phone down and, overwhelmed by emotions, shed silent tears as he drifted into a troubled sleep.
-</3-
The next morning, Ian awoke with sore eyes and an overall sense of unease. He didn't feel well at all and could really used a day off. However, his determination to see Anthony led him to decide to go to school anyway.
As he made his way downstairs for breakfast, his mom immediately noticed his condition.
"Are you feeling okay?" she asked. "You look a bit under the weather. Maybe you should stay home today."
Despite the tempting offer of a day off, he couldn't bring himself to miss school, he need to makes things up with Anthony. With a weak smile, he tried to reassure his mom.
"I'm okay, Mom, really," he replied, his voice somewhat strained.
Despite his insistence, Ian struggled to keep down the eggs and bacon she'd prepared. Every bite felt like a challenge, and he had to battle the urge to vomit. Nevertheless, he managed to finish breakfast and headed off to school, his determination driving him forward even as his body protested.
-</3-
When Ian arrived at school, he immediately noticed that Anthony was nowhere to be found. Concern gnawed at him, and he reached for his phone to send a text to Anthony, asking where he was and if he was okay. However, his messages remained unread, and there was no reply.
As the school bell rang, Anthony still hadn't shown up. Ian couldn't help but wish he had chosen to stay home that day. Anxiety weighed on his mind, and he muttered softly to himself, "Where's Anthony?" just as the teacher entered the classroom.
As the classes dragged on and lunchtime approached, Anthony still hadn't made an appearance. Ian felt exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The lack of appetite made the thought of eating unappealing, so he decided to retreat to the library for a much-needed nap.
On his way to the library, Ian couldn't help but notice how every student seemed to be part of a group, laughing and enjoying themselves. He used to be one of them, a popular kid who was hyperactive, playful, and everyone's friend. But that had all changed when Anthony entered his life. Anthony had become his sole focus to the point where he became Ian's only friend. Ian didn't mind that at all, though, because he loved Anthony deeply.
However, seeing all the other kids having fun without him made him question if his life could have been better without Anthony. Would he have a more typical high school experience? He couldn't say for sure, but one thing was certain – despite the loneliness and uncertainty, he would always choose Anthony over anything else.
-</3-
Students are scattered around the field. Ian always hated recess. Most of the boys are playing football some are doing cardio and stuffs. Ian isn't good at sport. So he decided to join Mari and Melanie running. He loves running and he's pretty good at marathon.
The girls noticed that he's not feeling good and worry ask if he's okay. He don't want to lie to girls so he just said he isn't feeling really good but he's okay cuz he took a nap at lunch. Write conversations. The girls worry and tell him to rest for a while.
By that moment a ball from across the field came directly to Ian and hit him in the face. It came from Shayne Topp, he's as popular as Anthony at school. They used to be friend at the first junior year but they stopped hanging out when Anthony came in. Now he's in Anthony's friend group.
Ian'a nose is hurt and it's bleeding. Shayne is just laugh it off and doesn't even seems to care that Ian's hurt. The girls are frustrating but Ian doesn't want them to make a scene so he stopped them.
Gym teacher is the only one who came in to help and he lead him to the nurse office. Nurse gave him some ice and painkillers for his sore nose. At this point Ian don't think he can make it till the end of the school so he got permission to leave and called his mom to come pick him up. This day couldn't get any worse.
-</3-
an lay quietly on his bed, a damp towel soothing his throbbing forehead as he battled a migraine and nursed his sore nose. The melodic strains of Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, We're Goin Down" played softly on his mp3 player, the lyrics of the song resonating with his troubled thoughts.
"Am I more than you bargained for yet?
I've been dying to tell you
Anything you wanna hear
'Cause that's just who I am this week."
The lyrics seemed to cut deep as he pondered what had gone wrong between him and Anthony. What had he done to cause this rift? Ian would go to great lengths for the man he loved, and he truly had. But somewhere along the way, things had taken a turn.
"Drop a heart
And break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping
For the wrong team."
God knows how much he love Anthony. But it's not like he's asking to be his boyfriend or something. He just want to be someone Anthony isn't ashamed to show off.
"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it"
He would never stop loving Anthony no matter how he treats him. He would gladly trade the world just to be by his side. But where had things gone wrong?
With his fever rising and his body aching, Ian felt an urgent need for Anthony's comforting presence. He checked his phone, seeing that the messages he had sent were still marked as "delivered." Swallowing his pride, he sent another message, "I'm really sick right now, Anthony. I miss you. Hope you're doing well."
Despite the vulnerability he felt, Ian doesn’t mind being a chaser, after all, Anthony is way out of his league and Ian should be grateful that he still considers him as his best friend. Ian closed his watery eyes and drifted into a restless sleep, hoping that things would get better when he wakes up.
“I think that’s a big difference in us reuniting, is I am so willing to praise you and mention your strengths.”
Hey guys! Been working on this post for a while and so happy to finally share!
Before we knew of their reunion, there was this window of time where Anthony kept complimenting Ian on social media. That stood out to me then, especially after having very little interaction between them in so long. But now having the context that they were actually hanging out again behind the scenes, and that Anthony now makes a conscious effort to compliment/praise Ian makes it all the more sweeter. The said compliments I mentioned were posted at the time but the fandom wasn’t as active as it now is again so I wanted to compile a list of all the moments of Anthony complimenting Ian from their reunion to present for anyone who might’ve missed it. Enjoy!
Pre-Reunion
Okay so this first post is actually from before they reconnected. We know from the Smosh Reunion t-shirt that they reconnected in November 2022 and this post is from July 2022.
I like to think Anthony was in a better place with his emotions towards Smosh/Ian by this point, and that Ian had been on his mind and so a nice little compliment was to be had.
Post-Reunion
April 2023
5 months post-reunion and Anthony’s feeling more confident to joke around whilst still complimenting Ian. You love to see it! And Ian’s reply, him getting all embarrassed is cute 🤭
It also reminded me of these tweets from back in September 2017 :-
Confirmed: Anthony has a thing for calling Ian ‘daddy’. Noted. 👀
May 2023
Less than a month later and Anthony was back at it again with the compliments
Ian looks good and Anthony is determined to tell him at every opportunity!
And then…
June 2023
THE (PUBLIC) REUNION
And so ensued an abundance of compliments.
Anthony’s Interview
First lot of praise we saw from Anthony to Ian was in his interview with him. Tumblr sadly doesn’t allow you to add more than one video to a post so these are all quotes from said interview.
Like the tweet above of Ian getting his first chain necklace, they reference it once again. Ian is talking about how even though they’ve grown as people they haven’t changed that much, he references the fact Anthony has “more bling and tattoos” now, Anthony then interjects with :-
“Hey, you got a little bling too, let’s not discount it.”
Ian then shows the jewellery off and Anthony comes in saying “Baby’s first chain.” I like to think he was the first one to say that when Ian got the chain and where Ian got the inspo for his Twitter caption. Anthony then finishes this topic of conversation off by adding on that Ian also got “face bling too” in reference to his glasses. I know this isn’t really a full-out compliment and they’re just kinda messing about, but I think it still stands with Anthony saying that’s something that’s changed between them now is that he’s willing to compliment him, and I love how when Ian tries to downplay something about himself, Anthony jumps straight in there to lift him up too.
Another complimentary moment from the interview was when Anthony was talking about when he was 15 and came down with an autoimmune disease resulting in him missing half a year of school and Ian got a bunch of people to sign a ‘Get Well Soon’ card to give to Anthony to make him feel better.
“There is one moment, one thing that you did for me, when we were younger that really stood out to me that I never mentioned to you and I never thanked you for. I’ve been holding it in and I have never expressed it…. I don’t know how you got it to me, but somehow you got a ‘get well soon’ card that you gave to me - Okay, I don’t know if it was you who came up with the idea or your mom, or if like your mom told you, you had to do it. And a whole a bunch of people signed it and you wrote a message like ‘get well soon, we can’t wait to see you again’. And that, it really meant a lot to me, and yeah, it kinda kept me motivated and focused, and I don’t know why but for some reason it motived me to learn how to program a website, program a game, and I feel like because of that in some ways I was able to channel all my energy into creating the things that eventually culminated in what the foundation of Smosh was.”
I really love this moment, and I think it really shows Anthony’s growth. As was revealed in his letter to Ian, there was a period of time in which he felt he had more of a hand in creating Smosh in the early days, but the fact he can now acknowledge and recognise Ian’s input in it all, even before Smosh was a thing, and thank him for it really shows how far Anthony has come.
The last lot of praise from the interview is actually something Anthony has mentioned multiple times as you will see later on in this post and that is about their dynamic and how they work together.
“I think the fact we work in such different ways, like I’m able to really hyper-focus on something and put all my energy, just like back-to-back constantly in one chunk, I think that works really well when compared against the way that you work, where you are super creative and..”
Ian interjects by saying his head is “up in the clouds” when he works. Anthony continues by saying that Ian needs to be there to come up with the ideas that he does and then praises him once more :-
“I could never come up with most of the ideas that you come up with, but I feel I know how to formulate it and put it together.”
Next lot of praise for the month was this tweet :-
Anthony praising Ian, along with everyone else who had a hand in keeping Smosh going all these years. Similar to something he said at Vidcon when he interviewed Ian once again :-
“I just want to say huge, huge respect to you for staying with Smosh. For having that faith in it that it could continue to grow and be something bigger…” [audience cheers and Anthony points to Ian] “So huge, huge respect to Ian. That took a lot of tenacity - the tenacity you said I had, that’s where you really showed up. And Ian had to learn how to be a leader, Ian had to learn how to do all these things where he was just thrown into that because I made the decision to leave because Smosh, what it had become, was eating a hole in me and I felt I needed to walk away to figure myself out, to just grow on my own and I’m so thankful that you stuck around to keep it going so that we could do this [own Smosh again].”
And there was more where that came from and leads me onto the next lot of compliments :-
Vidcon 2023
“When Ian came over to my place to write… I remember I was sitting on the coffee table writing these jokes and you would say something and it would totally catch me off guard just like you used to do.”
Anthony said this so fondly to Ian, the “just like you used to do.” It goes back to what he said during his interview with Ian, which he got emotional about, that during the lunch where they reconnected properly for the first time, he saw his childhood friend in that moment. That despite how much they had both changed, the Ian he knew, the only one who can make him laugh like he does, was and is still there.
Anthony goes on to bring up their working dynamic again as he did in his interview :-
“While we were writing that sketch, while we were shooting it, there was this feeling - I didn’t realise it, but there was something missing from my creative process. Especially in creating comedy, that Ian just perfectly… I don’t know if I want to say yin and yang - I don’t know what I want to say about it. But it was just this perfect balance, that feels like in order for us to reach our fullest potential creatively, us working together is, in my heart, the only way for that to really reach its fullest capacity.”
Ian then responds in his usual way, trying to downplay his efforts by agreeing that their dynamic works well that way because he’s, in his own words, “kind of lazy.”
Anthony is quick to jump in though :-
“I think that’s a misconception, you’re not lazy.”
I love how he just outright refuses to let Ian talk down about himself nowadays. He will absolutely not have it!
Ian continues on and compliments Anthony in return by saying he is very ‘tenacious’ and ‘focused’, and ‘particular about things.’ Whereas Ian’s way of working, as Anthony goes on to say, is “throwing stuff out” and Anthony likes to pick out the best of the best from those ideas. And this is when we got the first of the ☀️🔍 analogies :-
“It feels almost like Ian is the sun radiating all these ideas in every direction, and then I’m the magnifying glass that’s like ‘let’s focus on this one, let’s make this one fire. This one’s amazing.’ And something about just the way that we work together just meshes so perfectly, and I think that’s how we became best friends in sixth grade, that’s how we established our sense of humour and why the Smosh videos that we created resonated with so many people, is because there is that perfect dichotomy between us.”
Do you think Anthony thinks their dynamic is perfect? I don’t know 🤔 I don’t think he mentioned it enough.
Jokes aside, it is very sweet. And I love how much he loves their connection.
The next lot of compliments come straight after the quote of Anthony praising Ian for sticking with Smosh whilst he was gone :-
“I’m super thankful - you know for the past six years it just felt like there was a hole in there [in his heart]. You know I’ve been creating my own interview series and it’s felt like this is a great way for me to be able to express a part of me, but not all of me. And that other part of me that wasn’t being expressed is that part of me that I now get to experience with you, and working with you, my childhood best friend, in creating something and being able to capture that magic and express it, and be able to present it for all of you [the audience], it’s a really, really great feeling.”
Ian then responds with another little compliment of his own :-
“I think on my side, you know when you left I was still making sketch comedy, I was still writing, but I never found the same kind of writing partner that I did after you. It was never the same. The way that we work together, I never quite found that kind of person to easily bounce ideas off to, so I kind of stepped back a little bit from the writing.”
It also reminds me of something Ian said during Anthony’s interview, about how they have this level of ‘trust’ between them, that Ian never found again with anyone else after Anthony left. Makes me so soft, they feel so lucky to have each other again. No one quite gets them like the other does and they can never replace what they have. Their connection truly is special.
This is more of a silly one and just them joking around but I’m including it anyways! They had a Q&A session with the audience after the interview and the person asking the question starts off by introducing themselves and saying how they met Ian the other day and apologises for calling him “old.”
They both laugh and Ian pretends to begin to walk off stage. And then, you guessed it, Anthony swoops in with a retort :-
“Hey! He’s 35 years young.”
Moving on to later the same day, after playing a live version of TNTL with the cast, they all had a sit-down Q&A :-
Q: “What inspires you? What made you who you are?”
And of course, as if he hadn’t already killed us enough, Anthony has to go and say this :-
“I’m about to say something totally whack. I’d say, Ian and my friendship when we first started really connecting. I feel like Ian taught me to not take myself too seriously and his sense of humour is just all over the place and I eat that shit up, I think it’s so funny.”
Like wtf. WHAT THE FUCK.
Ian’s reaction to him saying that pretty much sums up my emotions.
And that was it for Vidcon!
Except if you count this little cherry on top and the perfect closing to June as the picture is from Vidcon :-
Anthony being obsessed with Ian on main! You love to see it!
July 2023
Started off July with a bang and the ☀️🔍 article :-
Never getting over this! Anthony just loves the sun and magnifying glass analogy and I couldn’t be more here for it. Ian is the sun in his life 💛🖤
Ian Reads Anthony’s Angry Letter
And then came the infamous letter video. Which even though there were a few hurtful things revealed, there still managed to be a few nods of acknowledgment towards Ian even in that hurt Anthony felt.
As mentioned earlier in this post, in part of the letter Anthony writes that in the early days of Smosh he wanted it to be something ‘he’ made with Ian’s help, and that he considered Ian to only be “tagging along”. He goes on to apologise [in the letter] for if he ever made Ian feel like he didn’t deserve as much credit as he did.
“You may not have done some of the heavy lifting I did in the early days, but definitely encouraged us to keep going and you kept things light and full of laughs as we did it. We accomplished so much and I am just now realising how important you were in making that happen.”
Anthony then brings up something that happened recently between them :-
“But that thing that you read there - you did, and this was actually really nice for me to hear from you. It was a few days after we had confirmation that we had bought Smosh, you came over to my place, we had a little celebratory hang; very luxurious. We chilled with cigars and some whiskey, and we just bro-ed it up, and you said that to me. That exact thing - you said, “hey, I don’t think I ever really acknowledged the heavy lifting that you did in the early days” and you said that you “felt really lucky to be there at that time and that I included you in that.” And that was really nice to hear, even though I know.”
So I know technically this compliment/praise/acknowledgment isn’t new as the letter was written in 2017, but it’s ‘new’ to us. But I’m glad to hear that Anthony does acknowledge Ian’s involvement in Smosh’s success, even in the early days when Anthony was doing more of the technical things. He acknowledges that Ian still had a role to play in it all being what it was.
Ian agrees with what Anthony is saying, and that he always felt ‘guilt’ over the fact Anthony had to do the things he didn’t have the skillset to do, but recognises that he didn’t acknowledge or thank Anthony enough for it because he was ‘afraid’ that he might have to do more when their whole thing was about doing “equal work” because they felt as a duo they had to, and that if the other felt they were doing more work then there was some resentment there. Ian tries to downplay himself by joking “In most cases you were doing more work than me…” but Anthony is quick to jump in again and not allow it.
“I was doing more hours, but I think you were doing more of the creative heavy-lifting which is more taxing in many ways. So I think that you needed your time to recoup your energy, cause you’re coming up with funny stuff, and at that time I was like ‘I’m doing so much work’.”
Also another mention of Ian’s creativity and humour when it comes to writing, that Anthony acknowledges he wouldn’t be able come up with. But you can see where the ‘resentment’ they talked of came from, and why Anthony felt he was doing more. When in reality it’s just that’s their strengths lie in different areas, but that doesn’t make the work they both do individually any less important. So I am happy they can see that now and praise each other for the unique ways in which they shine which compliments their own strengths in their own special ways.
WE WERE ROBBED! Watch Party
It happened again. Anthony calling Ian ‘daddy’. Can we just all agree that he has a thing for it? Okay. Good.
They’re discussing how everyone in chat is poking fun at Ian for saying “you guys are a fun bunch” to the rest of the group during the ‘Do Men Know Reproductive Anatomy?’ Smosh Pit video and how it was a ‘dad’ comment. Ian reads out a comment talking about how Arasha called him ‘dad’ and he says “[she] can because she’s my son”. And then Mr ‘Ian is Daddy’ Padilla jumps in with the correction once again :-
Anthony: “I think you’re becoming ‘daddy’.”
Ian: [asks if it’s when he puts his glasses on]
Anthony: “Especially.”
Ian: [puts glasses on]
Anthony: “Oh damn, daddy.”
Like why is this Anthony’s thing now? Whatever the reason - I’m here for it.
Also, Ian doesn’t like to be referred to as ‘pops’ but Anthony’s into it. So, Daddy and Pops. It’s settled. Love our parents 👨👨👧👦
Smosh Mouth
And just like we started July, we ended it the same - with a bang!
I urge you if you haven’t seen it yet (or even if you have), to go watch this video. It may as well have been named ‘Praise Ian Hour’. Not only have we got Anthony, but also Shayne and Amanda coming in to add to the many compliments.
I know all these compliments the others were giving Ian were probably making Anthony’s heart swell with pride. To know that not only himself, but everyone else also recognises Ian’s strengths. To know that these things he loves about Ian, others see in him too.
So a lot of the video was the others complimenting Ian rather than from Anthony himself, but he agreed with everything they were saying and added a few little tidbits. So this next lot of compliments will be what Shayne and Amanda said, along with Anthony’s comments :-
Amanda: [talking about when she first auditioned for Smosh] “And I’ll never forget after I did that [read the script], it was really fun - they asked me a question, and I was in a really interesting place in my life… And they were like “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” and I just said “Vulnerability.”… And I’ll never forget, Ian stood up and went “Do you write comedy also?” and I said “Yeah!”, and he went [nods] and he shook my hand.”
Anthony: [grinning ear to ear] “He knew. He knew.”
Happy boy loving hearing people praise his bff 🥰
“I think honestly that statement alone is exactly why you’re doing a podcast. I think Ian was able, if he really did know in that moment, I think it probably was seeing that there was more to you than just the comedy, there’s more depth there, there’s multiple layers, and you can build on that a lot more than just somebody who can only do one type of thing.”
A very sweet comment. How Ian recognised the talent in Amanda from that one thing she said, and also cute how well Anthony knows Ian so can see exactly where he was coming from in seeing that talent in her and why she ended up at Smosh.
Shayne: “…I’m curious how you [Anthony] think things were going in the years you were gone? It’s been fun to see this arc of Ian. And being honest I’ve gotten to know Ian so well over the course of 6 years and that’s what’s so interesting about you coming back. You know Ian better than any of us-”
Anthony: “But I don’t know the Ian from the past 6 years as well as well as you guys do.”
Shayne: “…But you haven’t seen president Ian.” [talks about how when Anthony was still there both him and Ian were so busy under Defy that they weren’t around much to act as leaders]
Anthony: “Yeah, there was no leadership really coming from Ian and I, except that I think we showed excitement and passion… We showed that, and I think that’s where we kinda led, but it wasn’t really ‘we’re the leaders’ and when I left, and especially when Defy collapsed and Ian was left there making a lot of those decisions, he had to be the leader that had to lead by example and get everyone onboard with his ideas, and that was a really unique role for him because he was kinda forced into that position, and he was forced to get really good at it. And I think, over the 6 year time period that I was gone, I’ve seen him, observing from the outside, I’ve seen him get better and better at that role. Even though I know he doesn’t ‘love’ it, he’s not like ‘I can’t wait to go and be a leader when I go to work’, and he’s told me that he feels like he thrives most when we have the dynamic between us where I can pick up when he’s not really-”
“observing from the outside” 🥺 the fact he was still checking up on Ian even when they weren’t close anymore, it shows that the care was still there despite the strain on the relationship. It also reminds me of what Ian said during Anthony’s interview, that he could tell Anthony was floundering when he first left :-
Ian: “I could see very clearly what you were doing and what was going on. It was very clear that you were trying to find your individual creative voice. And with the types of videos you were putting out it felt very much like you’d throw this out and see if that would stick, you’d throw that out and see if that would stick. You’d get excited about something - I could tell there was a time when I think you were watching Nathan For You, and you were getting excited about this one kind of style.”
Anthony: “Damn, you read me like a book.”
It’s just like Shayne said - they know each other better than anyone. And that extends to even when they weren’t speaking, they still knew the other inside and out.
Amanda: “He’s glowing right now.”
Shayne: “He’s been so happy.”
Anthony: “It’s really, really cool to see because you know watching from the outside, I was able to observe his mannerisms and kind of get a general idea of where his headspace was at, but even then I wasn’t able to fully understand him because I didn’t fully understand him for so many years leading up to it, so I was just an outside observer trying to just keep tabs. But I do notice a stark difference, ever since Ian and I had that discussion, and were like ‘you know what, let’s buy Smosh and anything we can do to make that happen, let’s do it’. And after that conversation I’ve been keeping up-to-date with the content a lot more and I’ve seen Ian shine in such an interesting way, where I don’t even know if you guys felt it - like before the announcement, you felt something good was coming?”
Is everyone sufficiently in tears? Good, because me too. This isn’t even the end of this convo, I just had the pause to go over all of what was just said. Both Amanda and Shayne saying how happy Ian is now, I don’t know how Anthony didn’t cry on the spot! I did and it’s not even about me! Like hearing that, knowing it’s because of him that Ian is so happy 😭 and I think the same can be said for Anthony. They’re both so happy to have each other again ❤️
Shayne: “I did start to notice a change these past few months. I started to notice - this dude, there’s something about him, like the ‘cool’ factor started to change. He started wearing a chain! He started tucking shirts in.”
Amanda: “Oh yeah! He tucked in every shirt. He wore a chain. He was glowing. And our conversations were about life and joy and not really what he was reading on the internet.”
Shayne: “His confidence level has changed this year. When you guys announced the whole thing [buying Smosh], you walked into the building and I was like ‘Okay this makes sense!’ He’s feeling a lot more confident because things are feeling more certain and this place is going to turn into more of what he wants.”
Anthony: [agrees, and talks about how he thinks the confidence comes from a place of Ian now knowing the future of Smosh is secure under them after not knowing for a long time] “And I think for some reason, just naturally his confidence started growing as - I don’t know if this is related, but he is so good at writing and coming up with jokes, and I think for a long time he got the impression in his head that he wasn’t good at that anymore. And I think the Smosh channel moving away from written stuff, which I feel like he just really shines at - these absurd ideas, and when they come to life on screen maybe I’m able to help keep them a little bit more focused. But I really love that, cause he has so many great ideas and I started noticing just how many good ideas - he would throw out like 30 ideas and 20 of them were brilliant. But I feel like he started to gain confidence too in our writing sessions where he realised, ‘oh this isn’t a fluke, I wasn’t just funny in the past’ - I don’t know if this was the worry that was going on in his head, but it certainly was in mine. I was like, ‘was I only good at this in the past? can I be good at this now?’ and we both discovered together that what we were good at in the past, was more of a representation of our innate abilities and personality on our own but also the dynamic between us, and it seems like his confidence was growing there, and on camera when I would watch him from the outside, even hosting ‘Let’s Do This’ - when I saw him hosting these things it seemed like he was much more confident and he was able to take initiative.”
I love how much Anthony talks about how good Ian is at writing and coming up with jokes, and how much he reiterates that nowadays. I love that he recognises that talent in him and acknowledges how his own abilities complement Ian’s so well and why their dynamic is so special and works so well.
Shayne: “Ian is so much funnier than he realises. And maybe he’s realising it now-“
Anthony: “Yeah, I hope so.”
Aw Anthony 🥺 well if he doesn’t, you’re there to remind him tenfold.
Shayne: “But over these past years, I think the thing that has always frustrated me is - as you said [Anthony], he’ll throw out ideas but he’ll be like ‘oh this one’s dumb’ and I’m like ‘no that’s really funny, man’…. But whenever he goes 100% and he commits fully it’s always great.”
Anthony: “Always great.”
Shayne: “And I think he really does that in your guy’s sketches, there’s no doubt - the Ian that people know and love is that guy. And I think when he’s able to write and know what it is, he goes full force. But I will say even with the improvised stuff he held himself back - he’s so good, but he just needs to allow himself go full force.”
Anthony: “I think he would second guess.”
Shayne: “He second guesses. And I feel bad talking about him without him here, but it’s all good things. Cause reality is he’s really, really talented.”
Anthony: “The truth is he was doubting himself, but the less he’s doubting himself [he’s able to go full force].”
Shayne: [talks about how Ian has said 2019 was one of the hardest years after Defy collapsed and he had to step up as a leader and figure things out on his own] “So suddenly one day Smosh is gone and all these people are just gone, they don’t care. And I remember talking to Ian and being like “hey, so what are we gonna do?” and I remember this look of just - it’s still Ian where everything’s very casual and just kinda shrugged off almost, but I remember him just being like “We’re gonna figure it out. I’m gonna get this together”, and I was just like “That’s the most confident you’ve ever sounded about anything.”
Amanda: “It’s cause he was a single dad, he had to figure it out.”
Shayne: “But Ian’s always like ‘yeah, I dunno’ but this was the first time he was like ‘we’re gonna - I’m gonna - we’re gonna have it.’
Anthony: “And I feel like we see that [confidence] a lot more from him now.”
Shayne: “Yeah, and that was the first time that I was like ‘Dude, this Ian’s crazy. This guy’s not fucking around.’ and he had to do so much behind the scenes that I didn’t see, but he was making business deals and he was working all day, every day to get that shit together. And you know people say Rhett and Link saved Smosh, it’s like Ian saved Smosh. Rhett and Link were there to make that deal happen, but Ian was the one who put that shit together.”
Anthony: “For sure.”
Loved this from Shayne! Because it’s so true, yes R&L were there when Smosh needed a home, but Ian was the one who put in the hard work to make that happen. None of it could have happened without him. And I’m glad Anthony agrees, and as his comments at Vidcon suggest, he’s very thankful that Ian was there to save Smosh so he could come back and they could rightfully own what is their’s, doing what they love, together again.
Shayne: [talking about how Ian and Anthony going their separate ways needed to happen] “You started this thing forever ago when you were kids and it’s completely overshadowed your own lives and your friendship. To be able to take a step away and figure out who you guys are on your own and then come back - you guys at a certain point were forced to be best friends on camera and that’s tough and it becomes a product more than an actual friendship, so to be able to walk away and leave that alone and then choose to be best friends again.”
Not so much a compliment, just loved this. It’s the choice to be best friends again that gets me. Something they’re actively choosing and put above everything else, they’re never going to let anything get in the way of their friendship again and that is so special.
The famous quote comes to mind :-
“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours.”
Shayne: “I said it to Ian when he was on the podcast - I really respect both of you for your both individual journeys in all this. Like your choice to leave the thing you made forever ago as a kid, that meant everything to you, that’s an insane choice. And you made it for your own good, and you recognised your own happiness and that was gigantic. And Ian, I think really was scared to be a leader here, he was scared to be on his own, like president, and he really did it and he’s stuck with it through crazy [times] - not only the shutdown where he stepped up, but the pandemic as well, where we were all filming stuff on our own by ourselves, and he stuck with it, man. That dude, he’s had some endurance with all of this and so to see you guys back together, I know for him there’s pressure taken off because he has you, and I can see there’s so many aspects of the job that he questions himself - I think he’s great at it, but he questions himself and I think you can fill in that part for him where he’s like ‘oh sweet, I know I can rely on you’.”
Anthony looks like he’s about ready to cry when Shayne said that and I don’t blame him because I could too.
Knowing just how important he is to Ian. That he is the only person Ian can rely on when it comes the leadership side of the business, an area where he’s been alone in for so long, doubting himself, I’m sure it makes Anthony want to hype him up and reassure him even more that he’s doing a good job.
Shayne: “And I said this to you, I think the day you first came back, but I’m like - you both together is one of the greatest YouTubers ever.”
Anthony: “I appreciate that.”
Shayne: “You individually - super successful. Like you went and you were successful on your own. Ian maintained Smosh on his own. That’s really cool to see that there was success from both of you individually, but together - I mean when we’re at Vidcon and we’re talking to other YouTubers, Smosh has, there’s something to it right? Like other YouTubers go ‘Oh! Smosh!’ that’s a big deal.”
It’s so emotional how this thing that Ian and Anthony created together as teenagers is what it is now 🥲 and it’s so true - together, they’re something special.
Anthony: [discussing how he discovered his interview format for his videos after trying lots of different kinds of content after leaving Smosh] “I thought that my lane was making sketch comedy so I was writing out some stuff. But I realised that on my own, without Ian, I am not a very strong writer. I do not have the funniest jokes.”
Again, Anthony recognising Ian’s talent when it comes to writing and the Yin and Yang of their dynamic, and how they need each other to really be at their best.
[Amanda says how Anthony seems like an extrovert in his interviews. He says it’s an illusion and that he’s really introverted - Shayne agrees that he is]
Shayne: “I mean I’m just now hanging out with you again recently, but I always got the sense, and I get the sense still, that Ian is the outgoing one.”
Anthony: “Yeah.”
Shayne: “Ian’s super outgoing, and people maybe don’t clock that… At parties, Ian will walk up to any group of people and he’ll just join the conversation.”
Anthony: “For sure.”
Amanda: “You’re right, he does.”
Shayne: “It is shocking to me. And he’s so chill about it.”
I know this was mainly just Anthony agreeing, but I found it interesting and it made me wonder if that is another reason their dynamic works so well and if it’s maybe also a comfort for Anthony? As a fellow introvert, I know how much easier it makes things when you have an extroverted person with you in social situations that you feel uncomfortable with. So I wonder if it’s the same for Anthony with Ian, that he has him there to lean on, knowing he’ll take the forefront in those types of situations if he needs it.
And that was it for the podcast and for the month of July.
And so draws to a close the first instalment of this compliments series. I plan to continue this month to month, or every few depending on how much content there is - you’ll be able to find all parts in the Compliments Masterlist.
Thank you for reading and catching up with the world of the Anthony Padilla Ian Hecox Fanclub with me. Hope you enjoyed and I shall see you next time!
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As Ian settled into the family dinner, his mom's warm smile greeted him. "So, how was school today, Ian?"
He managed a small smile. "It was okay, Mom, you know, the usual."
His dad chimed in with a grin. "Anthony must be excited to start another year with you." Melissa, his older sister, nodded enthusiastically, agreeing with dad.
Ian's heart ached at their well-intentioned words. He couldn't bear to shatter their image of his friendship with Anthony, so he lied with a forced smile. "Yeah, we're doing great, and school's fine."
Excusing himself early from the dinner table, Ian retreated to his room. In the solitude, he couldn't escape the turmoil that swirled within him. Overthinking about his friendship with Anthony had become a persistent storm in his mind.
Putting aside the tumultuous thoughts of his friendship, Ian diligently focused on his studies, embracing the age-old adage that people often shared: "The best way to distract yourself is by studying."
-<3-
After finishing his homework, he rewarded himself with a comforting escape into the fantastical world of "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." The epic tale provided a brief respite from the complexities of his own life, a reminder that there was still magic to be found in stories, even when reality seemed uncertain.
As he delved deeper into the world of Middle-earth on his computer, his mom's voice drifted up the stairs, calling him downstairs. He paused the movie and headed to her, curious about what could be so urgent.
Descending the stairs, he was met with a surprising sight of an devil in disguise. Anthony was in the living room, a box of donuts by his side and a big, disarming smile on his face. He seemed engrossed in conversation with Ian's mom, as if nothing had happened earlier at school. Ian's mom gave them a knowing smile and excused herself, granting them some privacy.
With a mixture of emotions, Ian led Anthony up to his room, still bewildered by his sudden appearance.
"I got you donuts," Anthony cheerily announced as they settled into Ian's room.
Ian, his emotions still turbulent from the events of the day, responded with a detached tone, "What are you doing here?"
Anthony's reply was almost absurdly casual, as if the events of the school day were nothing more than a passing breeze. "Just hanging out with my friend, you know?" He flashed a smile, as if expecting Ian to embrace this sudden return to normalcy.
Just about to throw a tantrum at Anthony, Ian's frustration wavered when he noticed the state of Anthony's hands, knuckles marred with cuts and blood. Worry overcame his anger, and he gently pulled Anthony's hand toward him, his voice filled with concern. "What happened?"
Anthony, with a nonchalant tone masking deeper troubles, replied , "Just another fight with my dad. And I throw a punch at the wall, the poor thing"
Without hesitation and questions, Ian rushed to the kitchen, retrieving a bandage and naming some medicine for cuts. He returned swiftly, tending to Anthony's wounds with a gentle touch, his concern overshadowing the tension that had lingered in the room just moments before.
-<3-
As Ian tended to Anthony's wounded knuckles in the hushed room, a heavy silence hung between them.
Anthony's family had been marked by the absence of his mother since he was just a toddler. She had left them for a wealthier man, a decision that had cast a long shadow over Anthony's life. His father, burdened with the responsibility of raising a young child on his own, struggled to provide the emotional support and stability that Anthony so desperately needed.
Anthony seldom opened up about the turmoil within his family, and Ian, his best friend, had learned to read the subtle signs of their conflicts. It was a complex and emotionally fraught situation that had shaped Anthony's outlook on life, making Ian's family's warmth and stability all the more appealing to Anthony. Especially, Ian's mom love Anthony as her own child and Anthony loves her too.
In the quiet room, Anthony's voice broke the silence. "I'm sorry," he said, his apology hanging heavy in the air.
Ian, well aware of the meaning behind those words, responded calmly, "Sorry for what?" He met Anthony's gaze, their eyes locking for a moment.
Rather than explaining the apology, Anthony replied, "You didn't listen to me."
Ian felt a wave of emotions crashing over him, threatening to bring tears to his eyes, but he swallowed them down, not wanting to intensify the moment. "You're out having fun with your own friends," he said, voice steady. "What's wrong with me making friends too?"
Anthony's face hardened at the questioning, a response he often disliked. "They're not my friends," he stated firmly. "You're my friend, and I'm yours. You don't need anyone else. You have me."
Frustration welled up within Ian, and he retorted, "But I don't have you. I'm all by myself. Why can't you just treat me the same when other people are around?"
Anthony sighed, the weight of their complicated friendship apparent. "I wish it's that simple, Ian."
Ian found himself at a loss for words, and in the silence that followed, he finished tending to the bandage on Anthony's hand.
Anthony broke the silence again, speaking with a touch of playfulness. "C'mon, Ian, you know my birthday is coming up. Do you really want to give me the silent treatment the whole time?"
Ian gave him a look but remained silent, trying to resist Anthony's use of his irresistible puppy eyes.
"My hands hurt, and I'm tired," Anthony admitted.
Ian, concerned, asked, "Is the bandage too tight?"
Anthony shook his head. "No, tell me you're not mad at me, or else I'll throw a fucking punch at your wall with my hurt hand."
Ian sighed and replied, "I'm not mad at you," it's true, unfortunately.
Anthony grinned, his handsome features softening in Ian's eyes. "What are you watching?" he asked, attempting to change the subject.
Ian shared the title, and then Anthony asked if he could sleep over tonight. The request was one Ian couldn't refuse, and he agreed, offering a nod and a small smile, grateful that they’re making things up.
-<3-
In the quiet darkness of Ian's room, they switched off the lights and settled into bed. Anthony's larger frame enveloped Ian, just like it had countless times before. Despite his racing heart, this familiar embrace brought a comforting sense of security to Ian.
As they lay there in the quiet, Anthony's deep voice broke the silence. "Promise me you won't talk to that orange head again," he whispered.
Ian, without hesitation, signed his agreement. "I won't."
Anthony's smile was almost palpable in the darkness as he closed his eyes. He had always appreciated whenever Ian listened to him without question. His hold tightened around Ian, a gesture of reassurance, and slowly, in the warmth of that embrace, Ian drifted into peaceful slumber.
-<3-
A/N-Help this chapter is beautiful. I'm so into this storyTwT Hope you guys enjoy it too<3
I made a cat ears compilation of our favorite boys! prepare for the cuteness!!! Ian is a orange cat and anthony is a black cat, because it suits with their personalities! Enjoy!!!
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(This a story I have in my mind a long time ago and I really wanted to write. This is my first time writing so excuse me if it isn’t perfect TWT)
"I don't love you!"
"Oh Ian, you know you love me. You always love me."
TW: very toxic abusive manipulative relationship;) don’t read if you’re not comfortable 🫶🏻
Chapter 1: WHAT AM I TO YOU?
The first day of the school year arrived with the grace of autumn leaves falling gently outside the classroom window. I found myself seated in a quiet corner, gazing at the shifting weather and the even more unpredictable currents of me and Anthony's friendship.
Across the room, my best friend, Anthony, with his striking appearance, the very definition of meticulous perfection. His naturally curly, ebony hair, now straightened with care, framed his face like a glossy curtain, each strand meticulously in place. Every day was a testament to his dedication to his appearance, from his impeccably fashionable choice of clothes to the way his silver chains and rings shine. His dark, expressive eyes held a depth that many tried to fathom, and his chiseled features seemed almost sculpted, leaving no doubt that he was the embodiment of Mr. Perfect in our high school world.
Anthony is surrounded by his popular friends group. Sitting in my secluded corner of the classroom, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness wash over me as I watched Anthony revel in the company of his popular friends. His laughter, that contagious, joyous sound, rang through the air like music, but its melody never seemed to reach my ears when others were around. It was as if Anthony had cast a shadow over our friendship, deliberately ignoring me in public, leaving me stranded in the quiet solitude of our fading connection.
Once, they had been inseparable. Best friends since sixth grade, their bond was forged through shared interests and a deep understanding of each other. They were both nerds back then, lost in the world of videos games and sitcoms.
But as the years passed, puberty's capricious hand had dealt them different cards. Anthony, my best friend, had transformed into the school's heartthrob, with his naturally curly hair meticulously straightened. He had become popular, but I remained introverted, shy, still a nerd at heart.
Out friendship behind closed doors is intense, almost overbearing at times. Anthony can be handful and quite possessive, do not let me have any other friends, a rule established in our early days. Yet, there was a catch - Anthony only cared about our friendship when we are alone.
In public, Anthony treated him like a complete stranger. It was as if their years of friendship meant nothing when others were around. It all happened exactly 2 years ago, at the day like this, Anthony met new people. Now, Anthony is obsessed with his reputation, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him hanging around the nerd like me.
Anthony even stopped picking him up to school last year . Now, I trudged that path alone, the solitude feeling heavier with every step. The journey was a painful reminder of how their friendship had changed, and he couldn't help but long for the days when they had been inseparable, even if it meant navigating the challenges of adolescence together.
Doubts gnawed at him, casting shadows over their once unbreakable friendship. Do Anthony still like him, still see him as his best friend? He had to confront a truth he'd been avoiding, even from himself - he might have a crush on Anthony, more than just friendship. He couldn't help it; he is in love with him.
It was this love that made him obedient to Anthony's ridiculous demands. He'd bend over backward to accommodate Anthony, to hold on to the fragments of what they once had. But it was painfully clear that Anthony rarely considered his feelings, so caught up in his quest for popularity that he seemed blind to the hurt he caused.
As he sat lost in his thoughts, a friendly voice broke his reverie. "Hey there, mind if I sit here?" The voice belonged to a guy with striking orange hair and big brown eyes.
Looking up, he offered a small smile. "Not at all, go ahead. I'm Ian, by the way."
"David," the orange-haired guy replied with a genuine grin. "Nice to meet you, Ian. First day of the school year, huh?"
"Yeah, first day," he nodded, feeling a bit of warmth in David's presence. "Hope it's a good one."
David's pretty eyes twinkled with optimism. "I'm sure it will be. New beginnings and all that, right?"
He let out an unintentional sigh, a hint of worry in his response. "Yeah, I hope so."
Feeling a sudden, cold glare boring into him, he turned his head to find Anthony's emotionless face fixed on him, a gaze that sent shivers down his spine. It was a sinister look, one that he couldn't decipher, but he chose to ignore it. The school bell rang, and the teacher walked in. He reminded himself that he needed to stop caring so much about Anthony.
Throughout the class, he couldn't shake the feeling of Anthony's eyes on him. It was as if Anthony's gaze had become a constant, unrelenting presence, and he suspected that Anthony is angry at him for talking to David. Why is Anthony like this?
When the class finally ended, Anthony and his group of friends filed out of the room, their laughter and chatter filling the air. Anthony walked past him, ignoring him as if he hadn't been the one staring just moments ago.
Ian also packed his things, ready to leave for the next class. He and David shared only this English class on their timetables today, so he said, "See you later, David."
David grinned and replied, "Sure thing, Ian. We'll catch up soon."
As he headed out, Ian couldn't help but think that David was a genuinely friendly person, a refreshing change from the complexities of his friendship with Anthony.
As Ian left the classroom, a knot of worry settled in his stomach. He hoped that his budding friendship with David wouldn't trigger one of Anthony's infamous tantrums. He knew he couldn't handle Anthony's withering glares and looks, and the situation was made more challenging by the fact that Anthony had insisted they share the same timetable, forcing him into all the same classes. It was a delicate balance he had to maintain, and the prospect of Anthony's reaction weighed heavily on his mind.
During their next classes, Anthony surprised Ian by not passing even a single random glare or showing any overt signs of displeasure. Anthony's enigmatic behavior continued to baffle him; he couldn't guess what was going on in his friend's mind.
Since the class hasn't started yet, he chooses to focus on his own thoughts, Ian hunched over his notebook and began writing a two-line poem:
"Unwelcoming changes, like storms, sweep our skies,Yet, in the shifting weather, resilience lies."
The simplicity of the lines brought a sense of calm amidst the uncertainty of his life.
-</3-
Lunch break stretched before him, and Ian found himself amidst a sea of bustling students, each engaged in their conversations and laughter. Yet, despite the crowd, an overwhelming sense of loneliness consumed him. As he sat at a table in the bustling cafeteria, he tried to focus on his lunch – a hot pocket and a milkshake.
Across the bustling cafeteria, Anthony's laughter and conversations with his friends echoed in Ian's ears. They were familiar names, those friends of Anthony's, but Ian had never been formally introduced. He knew them through their popularity, a club he felt perpetually excluded from.
The longing to fit in, to be part of that inner circle, gnawed at Ian. He'd always yearned for best friends, and Anthony had been a godsend in that regard, once making him feel special. But lately, doubt had crept in, like a shadow obscuring their friendship.
Anthony, the ever-popular guy, seemed to have an endless stream of girlfriends, while Ian struggled to keep up with the whirlwind of parties and social events. It was painful to watch Anthony with other girls, especially since Anthony is his first love and still his only love.
Ian had once believed he held some sway over Anthony, but now he felt like a toy, controlled by the whims of his best friend. The frustration of it all weighed on him as he sat alone in the cafeteria, craving the friendship that had once been his lifeline.
Suddenly, a pleasant surprise washed over Ian as David approached him, inviting him to sit at his table. They began chatting about their shared love for the game Legend of Zelda, and Ian couldn't help but laugh at one of David's jokes. It was a brief moment of connection and genuine friendship that warmed his heart.
But just as quickly as the warmth had come, it was replaced by a shock of cold liquid that soaked his back. Anthony had carelessly poured his drinks as if it were an accident, yet his icy demeanor made it clear that it was anything but accidental. With a casual shrug, Anthony and his friends departed without a word.
David's frustration was palpable, but Ian, not wanting to escalate the situation, reassured him. "It's okay, really. Don't worry about it." Excusing himself, Ian made his way to the bathroom to assess the damage.
In the bathroom, as Ian examined his damp clothes, he couldn't help but feel a numbness wash over him, an overwhelming sense of disappointment and hurt that went beyond tears. This was, undoubtedly, the worst first day of school he'd ever experienced.
Anthony had never done something so openly hurtful before, and the fact that he had was a stark reminder of the growing distance between them. Ian had always listened to Anthony, but now he wondered if it was worth risking their friendship by forging connection with David.
The love he held for Anthony was undeniable, a bond that had sustained him through the years. It was a love that left him feeling trapped, unable to break free from the web of emotions that had entangled him. As he stood in that bathroom, he couldn't help but wonder how he could navigate this new, uncertain terrain without losing the person who meant the world to him.
-<\3-
The walk back home was a solitary journey, mirroring the lonely feeling that had settled within Ian since that unfortunate incident at lunch. The rest of the school day had unfolded with the same indifference from Anthony, who didn't seem to care about his actions, even though he'd intentionally soaked Ian's shirt.
As he trudged along, the path seemed longer and more desolate than ever. He couldn't escape the distant roar of Anthony's expensive, loud race car as it sped past, carrying the laughter of a girl who had replaced him for the moment. A heavy sigh escaped Ian's lips, and he couldn't shake the feeling that this was indeed a bad day, one that had left him feeling lonelier and more uncertain than ever before. Maybe it's his fault that falling in love with a wrong person.
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