⋆˙⟡ de-influencing moon-mars synastry, (18+ only)
moon-mars is not an inherently sexual aspect, it’s an instinctually and primally emotional aspect. it just so happens that sex is very instinctual, primal, and emotional. so, in the synastry charts of a sexual couple, it becomes an indicator of the couple’s sex life.
with that being said, sex is not the only thing moon-mars synastry may affect, and when you take that into consideration, know that you get the good, bad, and ugly with any astrological configuration. ♡
RIHANNA & A$AP — rihanna’s moon in aries loosely conj. a$ap’s mars in aries
the moon person feels protected by the mars person, as both moon and mars are planets that represent protection. the moon is the natural guardian of the earth, always orbiting us and working as a shield from asteroids or other space debris that could otherwise kill us (r. i. p. the dinosaurs). so the mars person — mars being the warrior — can help the moon person feel safe.
mars person feels like they can let their guard down and be vulnerable around the moon person, so this gives mars a sense of safety too! the moon person’s changeability accommodates the mars person’s roughness (think of it like a rock in the river; the river bends and envelops the rock). moon soothes mars’ flame, and similarly, the mars person empowers the moon person to have drive and ambition.
the moon person may also enjoy feeling pursued or chased by mars. moon represents yin energy, which is receptive. mars, however, is yang, which is associated with pursuit. the moon enjoys being the mars persons’ prey, and falling into a submissive role for the mars person.
piggybacking off of this thought: i think, in a way, the moon also likes to feel guided by mars because mars is assertive and directive. the moon is changeable: she’s the nomad of the sky and in a lot of myths, described as a wanderer, a traveler, or as being pursued / chased. she can seem aimless. but mars is a trailblazer, and likes to guide things. i notice a few times in moon-mars, the moon person will typically follow behind the mars person, they just kinda march to the beat of the martian’s drum. in some ways, the mars person (as mars is so physical) brings the moon person back down to earth. on the flip side, moon person can help connect the mars person to the unseen and unfelt, because the moon guides as well! so essentially they may aid each other, but the mars person guides the physical and the moon person guides the spiritual.
the moon is a planet that rules things that are expensive and prized, so i thinkkk that lunar people really enjoy feeling like a trophy in their relationships. (this is why so many lunarians can be pick-mes, no shade). but this fits well for martians, because martians are competitive. and what do people typically win after a competition? . . a trophy lol. the moon person may happily turn themselves into an accessory for the mars person. and mars may enjoy feeling like they “won.”
if this is a sexual relationship, then yes. sex is insanely carnal. can literally feel like y’all were the first humans to ever think of rubbing your genitals on each other. doesn’t necessarily have to be rough or kinky for it to be insanely good, because even vanilla sex with moon-mars can be memorable. but kinky sex play around a lot with imbalances of power, aggression, and / or possession. might have a breeding kink (so real). vanilla sex is powerful due to its intimacy, not its energy. type of sex you’d make a baby from. also type of sex where you kind of abandon sensibility because it is so animalistic, feels more like a “mating ritual” than “hooking up.” so . . if it’s penetrative sex, y’all might be like, “fuck i don’t have a condom” and the other person will be like, “i don’t give a fuck tbh” then y’all fuck anyways.
ARIANA GRANDE & MAC MILLER — ariana’s moon in libra square mac’s mars in capricorn
the moon is an unreliable narrator, and even other planetary bodies are aware of this. because the moon’s accounting of their own experiences may be inconsistent (as it’s changeable in accordance to their emotions), mars person may project themselves onto the lunar person (as typically happens with luminaries) and thus project the expectation that the moon person must bulldoze through life. which neglects the moon person’s needs!
in my experience, it’s worst when the mars person doesn’t accept that the nature of mars is also emotional. if they’re in some doubt or denial about anger or aggression being emotional, the moon person will never have any safety in expressing themselves. ever. and this is where i would say a lot of the emotional mistreatment (on the martian’s end) may begin.
if not that, the mars person may simply step on the moon person as is. which results in the moon person feeling unheard or uncared for. the moon is a tender and sensitive planet, and the quality of moon in synastry and overlay is the fulcrum of any emotional connection. if the moon isn’t nurtured, the entire connection will fall apart.
but the thing about mars is that it’s not archetypically a nurturing planet — it’s the planet of violence, aggression, hierarchy, and in extreme cases, abuse. so vulnerability from the moon person will almost always be met with pushback from a martian who is at odds with their own sensitivity. the moon is still the planet of goddess — she’s not weak by any means — but a lunar person who doesn’t see this in themselves will submit to anything.
i feel like the mars person’s possessiveness also may simply manifest as controlling the moon person. if the mars person is envious or jealous, then trying to “dim” the moon person’s light. and objectification of course.
now as for the moon person’s red flags, this will largely be manipulation, lying, gaslighting, etc. mental, psychological, and emotional forms of mistreatment. because again, the moon is also possessive — this is the planet of familiarity, belonging, and what we cling to for security. there’s a luminary mindset of “this is mine”. the moon is tidally locked, always facing the earth. moon can be as calculated and decisive as mars in this regard, where once a lunarian has their sights on you, they will not want to let you go.
i can also see — with lunarians sometimes being perpetual victims — the moon person provoking the mars person emotionally to get a response that would allow them (the moon person) to victimize themselves. because we must keep in mind that planets don’t really dictate who we are as much as it shows our inclinations: lunarians are highly intuitive, but intuition is not an innately good quality. it simply is.
someone with ulterior motives who wishes to cause harm with their intuition will play you like a fiddle. they know what buttons to press to get what reaction, and when you naturally give said reaction, they know how to twist it into you being an aggressor when you merely had a overt response to covert abuse. then vilify you when you may not wish to comfort them or play into the victimization.
i think also lunarians in a moon-mars overlay absolutely keep score. it can be quite quid pro quo when it comes to offenses — keep in mind that the moon is a mirror! it projects back what is shown onto them. and it does exalt in a venutian sign (venus ruling balance). sometimes, a lunarian will want to do you exactly they felt you did them so you experience the hurt they feel. the moon is a planet of memory. a lunar will have you think all is forgiven and forgotten and still be plotting to get you back. when a lunarian’s heart is in question, they can be more vindictive than martians. and i wholly believe that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is because of lunar energy lmao
but even in cases where the moon isn’t trying to be manipulative, there can be a lot of obfuscation because the moon is quite confusing in nature! and so, like the push & pull of the waves, the lunar person may push you away before trying to draw you back in. dating a confused lunarian is a form of self harm because them being unreliable narrators, they can be head over heels in love with you one moment, and the next, disappearing and ice cold. the direct martian may interpret this as trying to play with them emotionally.
so overall, the moon person may find the mars person crude, uncompromising, or heartless. the mars person may find the moon person over sensitive, manipulative, or cunning.
it’s important to note that the moon exalts in taurus, which is mars’ detriment. and mars exalts in capricorn, which is moon’s detriment. they both are emotional, protective, guarded planets . . but it manifests in such different ways that it may feel like y’all fighting each other rather than a problem. arguments can, as a result of the vulnerability of this connection, involve targeted insults that cut right to the core. because y’all just know each other that well. and y’all know what will get under each other’s skin or disturb each other.
AMBER HEARD & #THAT MAN — mars-moon conjunction in capricorn. not posting that pos on my blog
the ugly, obvious trigger warning for abuse !
i cannot stress how abusive this overlay can get when unchecked.
feeling unheard or misunderstood can quickly morph into a beast too feral to tame. resentment, anger, vengefulness. betraying each other and such. and often expressed physically in addition to emotionally, as — as i addressed above — mars is a physical planet. and traditionally, it’s the planetary signifier of all things violent: fighting, biting, blood . . even sexual violence such as rape or molestation. it’s all gas and all flame, and so often, people in an ugly moon-mars configuration will stand there burning in it as long as they can burn (with) each other.
this doesn’t mean they will never separate. but separation is hideous, and they will not walk away from each other unscathed. moon and mars are the two warriors of the sky, and when a moon-mars relationship develops into this, a lot of time, they are brought together by the strength of their physical attractions to each other. the moon’s sensitivity and mars’ carnality just feed off one another. it’s highly instinctual: two bodies that are desperate to belong to something. even if the connection is hateful. but this is why elie wiesel (a martian moon native) famously states:
“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.”
the reason being that whether you love or hate someone, your heart is involved. so . . people hating each other isn’t really that contradictory to love. you can curse someone at sunrise and be fucked through their mattress by nightfall.
but yeah. the desire to possess or be possessed pretty much runs many moon-mars relationships once it gets into ugly territory. so even though they should most likely separate, it’s prolonged until one or both parties feel like they have had as much as they can humanly take. and by then, they are usually shells of themselves. it’s highly sacrificial — and both moon and mars are planets of sacrifice. so, they sacrifice themselves and each other. cutting into themselves to try to feed a starving creature who could never be satiated.
i think that the fear of insecurity for the moon and the fear of finiteness for mars make them desperate to try and reconcile through apparent incompatibility. this is where i often see couples try to have a baby after something traumatic, in order to attempt to create a physical binding between them. sometimes that feels permanent, like another life. but this is often the wedge that forces them apart forever. but the karmic cycle continues.
and this also isn’t always a choice decided by the both of them. it’s not always like “we both think a baby will fix this!” it may be, “fuck, i notice that they finna leave me. lemme stealth them or poke a hole in this condom so they/i get pregnant and then we’re together forever!” and it’s not even necessarily about being together forever, but about the abuser or victim having continued access to their victim or abuser. even at their own or their partner’s expense! often, people will coercively impregnate someone and keep abusing them, knowing that pregnancy will disable their victim from leaving as easily.
it could also simply be reproductive rape or coercion. and typically, if this is a relationship with a female person being impregnated, the female person is usually on the receiving end just because how the western world regards pregnancy and childcare as a thing that inhibits female people. there can also be sexual abuse with no motivations to procreate.
aside from that, also just general abuse. like . . two people being very abusive to each other. this doesn’t necessarily mean they exchange the abuse dynamic though, because with respects to psychology, once an abuse hierarchy is established in a relationship, it is very hard flip it. even if the victim “initiates” violence in one situation (such as hitting, insulting, etc), and even though that action is an abusive one, that doesn’t make the victim now the abuser or agitator. because this is still in response to the abuse initiated by the abuser. we must remember humans are just animals at the end of the day lmao. and any abused animal will be easily triggered and reactive.
but yeah . . it’s almost like a line has been crossed that they can’t come back from. like they went into no man’s land and got lost in it. as is the case with all abuse, reconciliation from abuse takes years and years of work. and sometimes, these soldiers just don’t have any more fight left in them. sometimes, while trying to fight for the relationship, they end up hurting themselves + each other more. and more damage is done — damages that could’ve been prevented if they just split at the first sign of misalignment.
there are so many ways this can get ugly. but i’d say at any point where either party is killing themselves to keep something alive, then yeah. it’s ugly.
i’m not saying that this overlay or synastry will make you get abused either. and i’m not saying that the natural progression of moon-mars is “good -> bad -> ugly.” sure, it depends on the conditions of the planets, but it also just depends on the people in the relationship! plain and simple. if y’all are well-aligned, then yeah. enjoy passionate sex and cummimg so hard y’all go blind.
my take away is that this is something where either party cannot too quickly and too deeply try to belong to someone else, and must be able to think of and respect themselves as autonomous individuals within a consensual union.
know how to leave and know when to leave. my problem is i have a scorpio moon, so the thought of being “owned” makes me feel loved. and like . . really really reallyyyy horny.
“use me / pursue me / kiss me where you bruise me” beyoncé literally wrote those lyrics cuz a me
but anyways — just because mars is historically a planet of abuse doesn’t mean that the martian in this synastry connection is the abuser. and just because the moon is traditionally a benefic doesn’t make the moon the victim or absolved. you could be a mars person abused by a moon person! i tried to fairly show ways both planets can engage in hurting each other.
so yeah. tl;dr don’t believe the hype. i mean like yeah the sex is good. but you can also have good sex under venus-moon, moon-asc, venus-fifth, moon-fifth, etc. there are so many ways to have good sexual chemistry. but . . good sex is never worth your peace. and i’m gonna keep it a hundo, i’ve never seen a peaceful moon-mars arrangement dkfjdjfjd but.
okay now. mama is a little sad now, so mama’s gonna put the phone down. this was about three or four days of writing so it took a lot out of me. love you. thanks for reading if you did. bye <3
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