wiccamoody

The Sameer Project

Dahnoun Mutual Aid

Mona's Initiative

Hussein Team

5 times Bucky gave Sam heart eyes

Bonus: the one time Sam did

Bucky fell once, and it was burned into his memory like a lightning scar on skin, permanent and tender to the touch.  And he thought, with irony so strong it tasted bitter on his tongue, it somehow hurt less than falling for Sam Wilson. 

getting up from bed cheats

getting up from bed codes

which is a natural assumption, but in my experience that's not really the case? like in my experience the drama llamas in fandom are usually not the ones who are just genuinely very deeply into the fiction. i've known people who are basically thinking about star trek or x-men comics or supernatural pretty much 100% of their free time and ime that type of person is usually very nice and surprisingly functional in their regular life. when someone's a constant nexus of fandom drama it's usually not that they are obsessed with the actual work of fiction the fandom is about, it's at least one of the following:

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but their unhealthy parasocial relationships with one or more of the people who created it

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but some elaborate shared-universe subset of fanfic about it that's only barely related to the original at this point, and/or an esoteric reading-against-the-text reinterpretation of the source material (often if the canon is active and ongoing this leads to becoming actively hostile toward it for its inevitably increasing failure to conform to their preferred fanon)

what they're obsessed with is not the source material but the fandom itself and gathering clout within it, so that the source material basically only exists to them as a tool for scoring points in increasingly arcane fandom disputes

Feeling really sad and heart broken that a fandom community I was in said they’re welcoming and inclusive but pretty much every non-white member has left along with anyone who focusses on the Black woman co-lead because of how everything is a fight. All they want to do is maintain the status quo, not uplift other fans or provide safe spaces. They tell me to be the change and then fight and argue change at every turn.

This is my first fandom. IRL I live and work in a Blak (intentional dropping of the c) culture of continuous improvement and communication. I adored the canon for how it elevates characters and cultures like my own. And the fandom just doesn’t.

And I’m so sad.

Sorry, peer. I been here multiple times and it always sucks, it will always be disappointing to find a place you thought you belonged, and then lo and behold, it didn't. I'm also sorry because I feel like my advice isn't gonna be very sweet 😅

You reconcile, because the other option is lying to yourself. You cope, because the other option is staying and dealing with a racist environment for the sake of "fun" that you won't be having (without a lack of self respect). You let it hurt, because it SHOULD hurt to be treated that way and you deserve to acknowledge your pain is real- and then you do something about it, or you let it go.

One thing that helps is I don't have to not enjoy a media just because the fandom sucks shit. Plenty of people go fandomless and it's great! I have also accepted from jump that EVERY fandom is racist. Antiblack in particular. My expectations are not high, and I'm knowledgeable enough to know the signs. I never walk in thinking "this is the one that will be safe!" So... Temper your expectations, but realize that you don't have to engage with everyone. The people who matter, who are safe, are the ones you stick with. Find those people who left and keep friends with them.