Overestimating Your Audience

I am still healing, I have had the support of a great team of people for whom I owe so much. Life has thrown its fair share of shit at me the last couple of years but this has been something that has definitely been an eye opener. I never thought pain could be such a complex thing, its hard work and exhausting but I am determined and can still see that light at the end of the tunnel even if it flickers from time to time.

I've had to change my whole lifestyle, I've had more visits to doctors, physiotherapy and specialists over the course of the last 7 months than in my whole 27 years of life. This wasn't exactly how I saw my time in Canada spanning out, it was meant to be a chance to relax and have adventures but instead I have had to deal with chronic pain. I have worked extremely hard to get my ROM back (still not 100%), I have learned new techniques to help conquer the anxiety, stress and depression but sometimes they don't work. I have taken up yoga, I exercise regularly and even do meditation. I am doing everything within my control to get better. The flare ups are the worst and even though I have learnt ways to deal with them it doesn't mean that I always can. The rehabilitation has been a long and hard road.

I haven't been able to get back on my bike since the accident, I'm so fearful that it could happen again and I can't afford for that to happen in both the monetary sense and also physically and mentally. I miss cycling so much, every day I am trying to physc myself up to get back on the damned thing but everyday my brain comes up with another excuse not to.

I have learnt that I am stronger than I thought I was even if I haven't always felt that way. I know people have it a lot worse but I honestly could do with a break...