tfw youβre an orphan who had to fend for yourself from an unfairly young age and you learned early on that regulating your emotions allowed you to always make the most logical decision and survive any scenario so you ended up accidentally developing superhuman intuition through your ability to view situations without emotional bias, but because you can dispassionately solve pretty much any problem imaginable, other people are either baffled or intimidated by you and treat you like a computer or a monster, but itβs fine because you (justifiably) distrust most people anyway and lowkey treat them as pawns while coping with the vast unimaginable loneliness in your heart, and you acknowledge that your reputation as a sociopathic pervert is pretty much set in stone and itβs functionally sometimes close to the truth, but you know deep down that your fundamental problem is youβre so over-regulated that you require ungodly amounts of stimulation to even feel anything at all, so you do everything you possibly can to repeatedly put yourself into the most high-value risk/reward scenarios you can find because if you didnβt do so you would lack the motivation to even get out of bed, but you also have half a conscience so you do your best when deploying yourself as a weapon to aim in a direction you think of as βjustβ even though there is no objective definition of that word except perhaps βthe will of the winner,β but nevertheless you trust your own judgment about right and wrong even though you would never claim to be a good person, and you still have a dark little soul that needs company and you want to rub your mind against someone elseβs sometimes, and because of all that you ended up entering yourself into a fight to the death with a remorseless serial killer who is also the only person who has ever even come halfway close to understanding you, and now heβs calling his serial killer gf to get the information he needs to kill you but itβs ok because you anticipated this highly terrifying scenario and stole her phone a minute ago so no harm done, and now itβs time to lie to the public about some high-profile arrests and maybe we can even get cake after
