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I thought I would write a little and provide some useful information about subdrop and aftercare, since I have just had to help a close friend deal with her first experience of subdrop and although she knew what it was, she did not realise that is what she was going through and did not know how to deal with it.

What Is Subdrop?

Subdrop is the emotional and physical symptoms felt by a submissive that is caused by tiring out the body and the release of adrenalin, endorphins, hormones and other chemicals that create a natural high during a scene, leading to a subsequent ‘come down’ afterwards, similar to the effects of illicit drugs.  It can leave a sub feeling exhausted, depressed, sad and very emotional. This can include feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment and other negative thoughts, but you should realise that this is simply your body’s natural response to a very intense experience, it is not your fault, you have done nothing wrong and you are not to blame.

Subs will often experience subdrop in different ways, some may feel the effects of it more intensely than others and it can last for varying periods of time, anywhere from an hour up to a few weeks afterwards, but it is only temporary and will eventually pass. It is important that you learn to recognise subdrop, because once you understand that you are feeling the effects of it, you can begin to address it and simply knowing why you are feeling that way will also help, especially when it comes to your emotions and feelings. Try to communicate, interact and stay in contact with your Dom or others, who can help you cope with your emotions and how you are feeling, by offering you support and talking you through it.  Following the other advice I have included below will also help you recover from the effects of subdrop.

For the all the Doms, Dommes, Masters and Mistresses out there, this is just as crucial for You, as it is for Your sub. Subdrop is very real and not some myth, so aftercare and helping Your sub deal with the effects of it should be just as important as what You might do during a scene, especially as You are essentially responsible for Your sub feeling the effects of it and caring for Your sub is part of the responsibility that comes with being a Dominant. Aftercare should not be neglected and staying in contact with Your sub, offering them reassurance, validation and support will help during this vulnerable time and they should not have to go through this alone.  Although some subs do prefer time to themselves, You should at least offer and ask what You can do to help, as everyone is different and their needs will vary.

If You do neglect aftercare and ignore subdrop, then the effects can begin to outweigh the benefits and enjoyment that Your sub may feel during a scene with You, which can cause problems for Your relationship with them and even end it. It is also worth pointing out that Dominants and switches can also feel a form of ‘drop’ after a scene, which I won’t address, but You can read more about it in the links I have provided at the end of this article.

So What Is Aftercare?

Aftercare is the name given to the process of being there with a partner for a sufficient amount of time, so they can feel safe, regain their emotional equilibrium and recover from the effects of a scene. It is equally important to recognise that aftercare is for both the Top and bottom, Dominant and submissive. If either person leaves too soon, then their partner may feel abandoned or a loss far exceeding the pleasure they might have felt during the scene.

Aftercare can include practical things such as making sure a sub is physically taken care of, treating any injuries, keeping them warm, allowing them to rest and making sure they have enough to eat or drink. Aftercare should also include attending to the emotional needs of a sub by offering them support, reassurance and validation.  This can include showing them affection by cuddling or holding them, even gentle and loving sex, as well as asking how they are feeling, talking through the scene with them and their experience, answering any questions they might have and giving them a lot of positive reinforcement, such as saying how proud You are of them. This can continue after you have parted ways and for several days afterwards, by staying in contact and checking on their recovery.

Although like subdrop, everyone has a different experience and needs when it comes to aftercare, some for instance may want to be left alone to process this on their own and there is no right or wrong way, it simply involves doing whatever is necessary to help them recover.

How To Cope With Subdrop

A few ways you can help your body recover and deal with the effects of subdrop include:

ACE which stands for aftercare, contact with your Dominant and expression of positive reinforcement by the Dominant.

Drink plenty of water or a sports drink like gatorade, which help replace fluids, salts and potassium in the body that you have lost during a scene.

Eat foods to replenish the nutrients in your body, while you might crave comfort foods and sugary treats, which will not only replace the sugar and energy you have lost, but obviously give you some sense of comfort, the effects will be only temporary and will only leave you craving more, which is not ideal.  Instead try to eat whole grain bread, meat, cheese and vegetables, while avoiding any foods that are white in colour, although milk is also very helpful.

Take some vitamins, especially the B-complex group that include folic acid, vitamin B6 and B12.

Be active and interact with others, even if you do not feel like doing so, as subdrop often leaves a sub feeling ashamed, depressed, isolated, confused and alone, so being by yourself and trying to cope on your own will only make those feelings worse. Even spending time with your pet can be helpful. Most importantly stay in contact with your Dominant and try to talk to them about how you are feeling, so They can help you cope.

Exercise will help release more endorphins, lessening the effects of subdrop, which is partly caused by the release of endorphins during a scene and the subsequent ‘come down’ that occurs afterwards.

Try keeping yourself occupied, with a hobby or other activity which will allow you to clear your head or express your feelings.

Aroma therapy, warm baths, meditation and listening to soothing music is also helpful.

Try to stay warm.

Treat and care for any injuries you might have sustained during the scene, such as scratches, bites, welts or sore bottoms. I am not a doctor and I could not possibly hope to cover every potential scenario in this article, but generally applying basic first aid techniques and vitamin E cream will help your skin recover more quickly.

Rest and get plenty of sleep.

Try to get yourself ready before a scene, by getting plenty of sleep, trying to stay focused and preparing yourself for the experience.

Additional Reading

I am including a link to an excellent resource guide and there are many such on my tumblr under the selfcare tag. please investigate those and learn to incorporate them.

This story first appeared as part of Leash 2: Tales from the Dungeon, presented and illustrated by @spacepupx. Get your copy in his online shop!

Like all stories in Leash 2, it is based on a real event.

I had a feeling that this was going to be a good party. All of my friends would be there, and I knew that I’d feel right at home.

Ben had offered to take me there as my handler, and it’s always a good time with him. He knows what I like, and he just does it. I don’t even have to ask. And isn’t that the best thing in the world? Getting what you want, without needing to ask?

Ça se passe à FRIBOURG (SUISSE), mais aussi en BELGIQUE, au LUXEMBOURG, en ANGLETERRE, en FRANCE et ailleurs…

What happens if you combine segufix with VR glasses?

It depends on what is being played right?

Hi everyone. First of all thanks for reading. I hope you will read all the way through and give me your support.

As most of you know I use a lot of poppers during my bondage training.  On May 14th I placed an order with a Popperzone.com, a company I have used in the past with no problem. It is also a company I have freely recommended to other popper users.  

This time they completely messed up my order, sending me stuff I didn’t ask for. Four months later, and after many email exchanges (by the end they were calling me names) they still have not resolved the problem. Here is how I can use your support:

1.) Please don’t order anything from  https://www.poppers-zone.us also known as kzpcomapny - they will take your money and not ship what you want.

2.) If you are so inclined send an email to [email protected] and tell them you don’t appreciate them treating their customers with disrespect and you won’t be ordering products from them. That you don’t like the fact that they called the Bondage Boss “a stupid bitch” (They really did, read the email chain). If you send them an email please copy me - [email protected]

3.) Share this to your tumblr and ask your followers to share it. Spread this far and wide and get as many reblogs and likes as possible.

If you read the email chain below you will see that popperzone.com took my money and didn’t deliver what I ordered. I tried multiple times to get them to resolve the problem to no avail. They are located in Europe so I have no real recourse once the email exchange comes down to them calling me names. 

But I believe where we spend our kink dollars is important and a company needs to know that they can’t take advantage of, or abuse, their kink customers without a response. 

I placed the order on May 14th. The package arrived on June 3rd with items I didn’t order and I sent them the below email.

Hello Popper-Zone, I’m writing about order number 121 that I placed on May 14th. I ordered 2 bottles of Jungle Juice Black Label10 ml, 2 Bottles Jungle Juice Platinum 10ml and 2 bottles of Jungle Juice plus 10ml. All three are advertised with the discount package of two of the same bottle gets you a third one free so I was expecting to receive nine 10ml bottles of Jungle Juice - three of each type. Unfortunately that is not what I received. I was shipped three 30 ml bottles of the Real Amsterdam, one 30ml bottle of Jungle Juice Black and one 30ml bottle of Fist (see photo below).  I’m sure these are good quality products but they are not what I ordered. I have tried the 30 ml bottles in the past and I find the product loses its impact before it can be used. Can you please re-ship my order with what I requested. If you want these bottles back please send me a pre-paid mailer or stamps or something. I have ordered from you a number of times and have always been a satisfied customer so I hope you will fix this quickly.  Thanks, Joe

June 3rd THEIR REPLY —–Original Message—– From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Sat, Jun 3, 2017 4:14 am Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Hello

Yes we were out of stock so we’re placed them 

To not letting wait 

June 4th MY RESPONSE

From: bndgboss <[email protected]> To: kzpcompany <[email protected]> Sent: Sun, Jun 4, 2017 12:43 am Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Hi,

I appreciate you not wanting me to wait but I would have preferred if you emailed me and let me know you were out of stock instead of just choosing random stuff to send me. 

I did not get what I wanted or what I paid for. I would like you to send me what I ordered or provide a refund please. If you want your poppers back send me a pre-paid envelope and I’ll drop them in the mail.

Thanks,

Joe

June 8th MY SECOND RESPONSE

You did not answer my last email requesting the items I ordered or a refund. At this point I am not very happy with the service I have received. I will give you this one last opportunity to correct the mis-shipment and send me the poppers I ordered or process a $62.00 refund to my credit card.

I am concerned why you would treat a good customer this way. In 18 months I have spent close to $530 at your business and I have recommended your business to others looking to purchase poppers.

Please let me know what you plan to do about my order.

Thanks.

Joe

June 8th THEIR REPLY

From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Thu, Jun 8, 2017 1:49 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Oh sorry

Yes of course we’ll send the small bottles 

Sorry you were not happy

I will send you the correct order 

June 19th  MY RESPONSE

—–Original Message—– From: bndgboss <[email protected]> To: kzpcompany <[email protected]> Sent: Mon, Jun 19, 2017 1:08 am Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Thank you. I look forward to receiving them. I’d like to continue telling my 8,000 tumblr followers that Popper-Zone is a great resource for buying quality poppers.

Joe

June 30th  MY SECOND RESPONSE (after I received a partial shipment)

Hello Popper-Zone team,

Yesterday I received a partial shipment of the order I placed on May 14th. I received three bottles of Jungle Juice Black label. I was also expecting three bottles of Jungle Juice Platinum and Jungle Juice Plus. Can you confirm that these items are coming in a separate shipment.

I look forward to your reply.

Thanks,

Joe

June 29th THEIR REPLY

—–Original Message—– From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Thu, Jun 29, 2017 10:30 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Hello

It was just the replacement of what was missing

You got the first part much earlier if you remember 

JULY 6th MY RESPONSE

Gentleman,

I am unbelievably frustrated with your failure to fill my order properly.

On May 14th I ordered 6 bottles of Jungle Juice - Black, Platinum and Plus. All in 10ml bottles. You advertise a buy two get one free sale so I was expecting to receive 9 bottles total.

Instead I received 5 30ml bottles of Real Amsterdam, Fist and JJ Black.

At first I thought I received someone else’s order by mistake and my order went astray.

I wrote to you on June 3rd with the information that I received the wrong items. I asked for the correct items and offered to send the wrong ones back if you paid for shipping. After all this was not my mistake.

Someone in your company wrote back on June 3rd and replied that it wasn’t a mistake; that you decided to send me some substitutions since you were out of stock on the items I ordered.

I wrote back on June 4th stating that I would have preferred to wait for the items I wanted to be in stock and it would have been better if someone in your company had contacted me first before sending me stuff I didn’t want and didn’t order. Once again I offered to send back the poppers you sent and asked that my original order be sent.

No one from your company answered that email!

I wrote again June 8th - again requesting the items I ordered or a refund of my money, see email below. This time someone from your company stated they would send the proper order

On June 30th I received 3 bottles of Jungle Juice Black. I did not receive the Jungle Juice Platinum 10ml or the Jungle Juice Plus 10ml.

When I wrote you about this error someone in your company replied that I had already received a partial shipment of my order? Which is untrue. 

Your web site states you take great pride in your company and your commitment to customer service. You claim to have a 100% satisfaction promise. I’m not asking for refunds, I’m not claiming your products are bad. I’m only asking for the products I ordered that I paid for. And as a regular customer I feel like you have treated me like crap.

I want you to send the missing items from my order - 3 10ml bottles of Jungle Juice Platinum and 3 10ml bottles of Jungle Juice Plus. I want you to send me a tracking number and confirmation so I know the items have been sent. If you want the other bottles that you originally sent, that I did not order, please include a postage paid mailer and I will put them in the mail.

I am holding you to your 100% satisfaction promise and I am expecting a confirmation by email that this is being done.

Thanks,

Joe

July 6th THEIR REPLY

—–Original Message—– From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Thu, Jul 6, 2017 1:31 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

My dear

You are frustrated and me too

We explain we got 20.000$ of goods hold up by customs

We explain you that we are moving to another country to solve that and get stock back

We are now solving the problems 

Just be patient and you will get your products 

Thanks  

July 28th MY RESPONSE

Hi,

I’m following up on my order from May 14th. I’m hoping you have your customs problems worked out and your relocation has been successful.

You owe me three bottles of Jungle Juice Plus and three bottles of Jungle Juice Platinum.

Can you tell me when they will be shipped.

Thanks,

Joe

July 28th THEIR REPLY

—–Original Message—– From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Fri, Jul 28, 2017 3:14 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

But it was shipped 

July 29th MY RESPONSE

It was not shipped.

You shipped me stuff I didn’t want and claimed you were out of stock and made substitutions.

Then you promised to ship what I ordered

Then you only shipped three bottles of Jungle Juice Black and claimed I received everything else 

Then you claimed you were behind because of customs problems and relocation problems.

You have not stood behind your service guarantee you took my money and did not send me what I ordered.

Read the whole email chain starting at the bottom and work your way up. You owe me six bottles of poppers. 

Are you going to fix this?

Joe

July 29th THEIR REPLY

On Jul 29, 2017, at 12:09 AM, Kzp Company <[email protected]> wrote:

I can’t read all the email 

Impossible because apple mix all the email together with other customers 

Our stock is back to normal

So tell me what 6 bottles you are missing 

July 29th MY RESPONSE

3 bottles of 10ml Jungle Juice Platinum

3 bottles of 10ml Jungle Juice Plus Sent from my iPhone

July 29th THEIR REPLY

From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: Boss <[email protected]> Sent: Sat, Jul 29, 2017 1:26 am Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Ok

They are living on Monday 

August 14th MY RESPONSE

Hello,

I’m following up on the poppers you promised to ship. 

The last email you sent said you would ship them on Monday 7/31. It is now August 8/15 and they have not arrived. Can you provide tracking please.

Joe

August 15th THEIR REPLY From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: bndgboss <[email protected]> Sent: Tue, Aug 15, 2017 10:41 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

They are on the way

Let them time to arrive

With holidays post service could take a bit longer 

August 27th  MY RESPONSE

I still have not received the poppers you promised to send on 7/31 and then told me they were on the way on 8/15. It is now 8/28 a full four weeks and they have not arrived. I don’t think you ever sent them

I would like my money back please. 

Thank you.

Joe

August 27th THEIR REPLY

On Aug 27, 2017, at 11:21 PM, Kzp Company <[email protected]> wrote:

It was shipped

I’m pissed off

August 27th – MY RESPONSE

Le 28 août 2017 à 08:29, Boss <[email protected]> a écrit :

When was it shipped. Please provide date and tracking information. Sent from my iPhone

August 27th THEIR REPLY

—–Original Message—– From: Kzp Company <[email protected]> To: Boss <[email protected]> Sent: Sun, Aug 27, 2017 11:32 pm Subject: Re: Order confirmation

Tracking is LD004848959FR

It’s in customs 

September 9th  - MY RESPONSE

I have not received the poppers.

I ordered them on May 4th. It’s now September 8th.

You have promised and promised over and over that they would be shipped.

I want my money back.

Thank you.

Joe

SEPTEMBER  9th THEIR REPLY

On Sep 9, 2017, at 12:08 AM, Kzp Company <[email protected]> wrote:

And on 29/08 you got the parcel

So you should think twice before accusing people to not be honest 

September 9th – MY RESPONSE

Boss ([email protected])To:Kzp Company Details 

I never received anything. On 8/28 you told me it was in customs so how was it delivered on 8/29. I didn’t accuse you of being dishonest. That’s your word. I want my money back Sent from my iPhone

September 9th – THEIR REPLY

Kzp Company ([email protected])To:you Details 

Hey

You get a tracking number

That is twice already you are not able to track it yourself

If you check the tracking number you’ll see that that was delivered on 29

So I won’t refund something that was delivered…

September 9th – MY RESPONSE

bndgboss ([email protected])To:kzpcompany Details 

I do not have any tracking number. 

I have no tracking information.

I did not receive a package on August 29th. 

I want my money back. Joe

September 9th – MY SECOND RESPONSE

bndgboss ([email protected])To:kzpcompany Details 

Here is the message I get when I use the tracking number you gave me on August 27

“Informations regarding your shipment LD004848959FR  We don’t have any information related to this shipment number. Please check your shipment number on your shipping note.”

Please refund my money for the four bottles of poppers I never received.

Joe

September 9th – THEIR REPLY

I sent you a tracking

http://www.csuivi.courrier.laposte.fr/suivi/index?id=LD004848959FR

And it appears in our discussion

I hate liars 

***** NOTE – I Followed the link above and it took me to a tracking page that showed a package was delivered to Canada*****

September 9th – MY RESPONSE

bndgboss ([email protected])To:kzpcompany Details 

First of all I don’t appreciate you calling me a liar. I hate liars too. I also hate bad companies that take money for orders, screw up and don’t make things right.

Second the tracking information you just provided me states the package delivered on 8/29 was delivered to CANADA. I live in California in the United States - a completely separate country. I don’t know where the package you sent was delivered too but it wasn’t to me.

I have spent hundreds of dollars in the past with your company and recommended you to others and your company screwed up this order I placed in May and have treated me like dirt ever since for your mistakes.

I want my money back.

September 9th – THEIR REPLY

Kzp Company ([email protected])To:you Details 

So maybe at place of being a stupid bitch insulting me from the first email you should have tell me that the tracking number you got was wrong st place of telling me “I got no tracking information”

What do you think?! 

Are you serious?

Your poor communication results in bad answers

Just make an effort and try to speak correctly than we can maybe sort the problem at place of creating new one

We got problems with customs in Switzerland moved to another country

Everything is solved now and all the orders were shipped

If there was a problem with laposte that made a mistake we’ll find a solution but if you don’t speak correctly to me I have no chance to resolve it 

September 9th – MY RESPONSE

Boss ([email protected])To:Kzp Company Details 

Did you just call me a stupid bitch?

I have had enough of this. I want my money back Sent from my iPhone

September 9th – THEIR REPLY

Kzp Company ([email protected])To:you Details 

I said you act like a stupid bitch yes

September 9th – MY RESPONSE

Boss ([email protected])To:Kzp Company Details 

Refund my money Sent from my iPhone

If you read all that you will see I have been more than patient. I never insulted them or verbally abused them. I never accused them of being dishonest.

When it turned out, with their own tracking, that the package had been delivered to Canada they didn’t apologize or make any effort to fix things, offer a refund etc. Instead they berated me for my poor communications and called me a stupid bitch.

I would greatly appreciate it if my followers and fans let this company know they can’t treat a member of the kink community like that. My one voice may not be enough to make an impact, but hopefully many voices will get them to change their business practices.

Remember - don’t spend money at popperzone.com.

If you are so inclined send them an email - [email protected] and let them know you won’t be ordering from them and why.

 And finally, like and share this post and ask others to do the same.

Thanks,

Arf! This has been an amazing year in many ways but also tragic. The setbacks have just piled up this summer. Daddy CastroKink and I must make some hard decisions on what to do next. The medical bills between us have piled up and at this point, we just can’t continue without your help.

I’m so excited about turning 21 next week. I work my ass off at my job at a burger joint. I’m so proud of Sir for everything he does for the community volunteer. He spends every day talking, mentoring, playing, posting, teaching, facilitating others interested in BDSM, kink, polyamory, etc.

But we are being crushed by our recent medical issues. So I’m asking for your help before everything collapses. If you can’t give, please reblog.

Wags and licks,

The full book of Chastity Sentence by me, Gay Chaste, is available on Amazon! It even includes four new endings!

It is available on eBook for $5 USD.

Follow the link! http://a.co/fZORng3