Untitled

This did not go where I expected it to go

This is what conservatives think will happen if you support inclusion

white queer people are so stupid when it comes to misogynoir you say "i am a Black woman with short hair & my hair is not masc just bc short hair is considered masculine in eurocentric cultures it's just my hair" they say "why are you so uncomfortable with being masculine? clearly you don't care about masc women being raped & murdered" you say "my hair is not masc it's just my hair" they say "gender roles are fake so you're a gender essentialist for having an opinion on how you're perceived" you say "i am a woman so my natural features are just a woman's features" they say "if you were really progressive you'd let us sort your hair into the masculine category we purposefully use to degender you 🙄" and supposedly you're the one treating masculinity & femininity like they're real & meaningful categories

like it's actually astounding how they can grasp that masculinity & femininity are social constructs & gender expression is a conscious set of choices made with the intent to be perceived a certain way in relation to these concepts when it comes to white people but the moment you're like "there wasn't actually any intent to be subversive or gnc made here that's just what my hair looks like as a Black woman" they have a meltdown

I really wish people would care about aro/ace trans girls. being subjected to transmisogyny is already isolating enough but as soon as the few people who might have been interested in getting closer with you realize that doing so means they have to make active attempts to recontextualize how they think of closeness and intimacy—that they can't rely on their preconceived notions of "platonic friend" or "romantic/sexual partner"—they pretty much always give up and try to sort you into one of those categories. almost every aro/ace trans girl I've ever met has suffered from extreme loneliness. it doesn't have to be this way. we deserve better

I’ve never seen high school musical and now I never need to

Basketball basketball we love basketball

i need less interpretations of toxic or abusive relationships occurring out of a lack of love, and more interpretations of love as a complex emotion that is not inherently pure. you can do horrible things to someone because you love them. you can love someone, but love something else more in a way that hurts your loved one. you can love someone deeply and be bad at showing it in a way that causes harm. i need more people to see how love can powerful and real, and not a guarantee of anything. sometimes it's not just obsession or manipulation or an attempt at control. sometimes it's also love, and sometimes love is the only motivation

literally real life though

editing is so funny because it's like "damn, i wrote 'before' two times within three paragraphs. they are going to stone me in the town square for this"

I genuinely and truly believe that you should be raising your child to be a well rounded independent adult and the earlier you start this the better but I will say as a person who was rewarded and praised my entire childhood for being "mature and independent" and "never needing anything" you are going to fuck them up so badly if those are the only situations in which they receive your praise and respect. you also need to literally teach your kid How To Be Taken Care Of. "good job doing that on your own" MUST be accompanied by "good job asking for help when you needed it". you are going to create a hyperindependent monstrosity if your idea of "maturity" involves nothing but somebody who can do their own laundry and make a grocery list without needing to be asked. maturity also undeniably involves knowing when and how to lean on your community. not to mention basing Your entire worth on the fact that you have raised an independent child is bad for you, also

you also MUST be Kind to your child. I learned kindness from every time my father was kind and understanding in the face of a mistake or a stumble or a hard moment instead of turning it into a "lesson". children learn how to be people by watching the adults around them. when you go "ah you messed up. here, let me help" instead of "ah you messed up. here are the instant consequences" you get to both teach them the right course of action and show them that it feels good when someone is kind to you. I believe in kids experiencing the consequences of their own actions, and that sometimes the only way to learn is to find out exactly what happens when you do something stupid. but I also believe that in a moment where I would choose the kind thing for a friend or a stranger, I should also choose the kind thing for a child in my care, rather than trying to turn every mistake a 10 year old makes into some lesson about the world

“i’m just so subby i can’t say no even when i really don’t want it” you are an unsafe play partner.

reblogging this a second time bc i think it’s really valuable to look at what abuse in kink CAN look like instead of just discussing what it DOESNT look like. I wanna talk about this more but frankly, this isn’t where my experience lies. if anyone has posts on the topic i’d love to read them.

mfs will see a nonbinary character and go Oh i wonder what gender they'll be when they learn what they Actually are

Thank you for the map for context. It makes this 1,000 times funnier and intriguing.