WELCOME TO WONDERLAND

2.03 Alice/Beth Kane - Face & Outfit Appreciation 1/?

GET TO KNOW ME ✩ [2/10] female characters → alice

LOL

Rachel Skarsten as Alice / Beth Kane in Batwoman “We’re All Mad Here”

Rachel Skarsten as Alice / Beth Kane in Batwoman “We’re All Mad Here”

Batwoman “Are we having fun yet?”

BATWOMAN 3.11, “Broken Toys”

Nicole Kang & Rachel Skarsten as Mary Hamilton & Beth Kane via Twitter 📸

really, harley almost expects her to throw the knife, to get out whatever frustration is clearly on her mind.  when it’s set down calmly, it worries her a little more than what she thinks it should.  but when the words leave alice’s lips, she gives her her full attention.  legs fold underneath her and she turns toward her, head tilted ever so slightly as she contemplates the words.  for a moment, she thinks that she’s talking about another personality that wants to come forward.  when alice doesn’t want to be alice, usually a switch tends to happen.  but she’s being honest, open, in a way that harley hasn’t seen before.  it makes her eyes soften ; so much has happened this past year and alice is finally starting to become her own person.  she’s not hellbent on revenge any longer, she’s run out of the length of rope to tug on for that.  but now she wants something new and she’s trusting harley with it.  it makes her heart ache, and she gives her hands a gentle squeeze.  “ you wanna do it too? ”  it’s soft, imploring, making sure she heard right.  alice has never faulted her for her path, just like harley’s never faulted her for her own.  but they could walk this one together, and unlike harley, alice could have someone guiding her.  reaching out, she tucks a few stray hairs away from her face.  “ you can do anything you want to do alice.  if you want to try, i’ll help you.  it’s not so hard.  more helping, less killing. ”  there’s a slightly bemused smile on her red lips before she leans forward, pecking hers gently.  “ you’re already doing it, if you think about it.  your kill count is way down. ”

for so long, alice relied on her rage. her desire for revenge, vengeance, anything that was angry, to hide behind it. because it was familiar. it was easy. it was so much easier than anything else. but she’s ran out of it. hit the bottom of the jar. kate had left her behind. her father in prison. catherine hamilton dead. safiyah taken care of. the cartwrights dead. she had run out of people to turn her knife on. it allowed her too much time for self-reflection. and alice hated, self-reflection. she needed purpose. and her rage, her revenge, that had been her purpose for so long. alice is asking her. because she trusts her. harley’s walking the similar path. and if alice had asked anyone else, they would have told her it was impossible for her to make up for it. for the disregard for human life, for everyone that she’s hurt and that’s just the tip of the ice berg. the disregard for other’s feelings. her casual manipulation, and use of emotions and knowledge to pull other’s strings. helping ? she’s only done that when it benefits her, and then she played the part of the backstabber. and the bat team knows that. but only harley knows about her shared  mental space. the people that play in alice’s decisions, often. alice reasons that the only reason her knife hasn’t been through someone’s chest is that she was busy, or they didn’t piss her off enough. but alice remembers when someone just existing, was enough reason to throw her knife into them. alice isn’t after redemption. no, she’s not sure that’s it. she’s not sure what it is she wants. but she knows that the person she is now, isn’t who she wants to be. not anymore. but she doesn’t want to give up the reigns to someone new. someone better than her. she wants to be better.  ‘ i have everything i want finally. i don’t wanna loose that. i - ’ alice has always suppressed her other emotions,  so much, they’re almost foreign. empathy for others, compassion, love. they’ve always been covered up by rage. anger. ‘ i’m running out of anger to burn. and i – what am i supposed to do ? ’

“ are you sure about that one? ”  generally, harley lets it go and takes whatever alice says at face value, but after everything that’s been happening, she feels a little overprotective at best.  and who could blame her?  no one has listened to alice in so long, and now that harley’s been there, she hasn’t been as bad.  so of course she’s going to want to prod at her and poke, make sure that she’s okay beyond what she’s willing to say.  she peers at her a little closer, teeth tucking her bottom lip between them, and an eye brow is arched at the other blonde.  alice has seemed happier lately, and that alone is sometimes cause for concern.  she’s been watching carefully for signs of things going downhill, but no new personalities have emerged and the ones that are there have seemed to learn how to coexist peacefully.  maybe harley’s overreaching here.  maybe she’s just too damn fond of alice to watch her suffer in silence.  “ because you’ve been flipping your knife so loud for half an hour that i’ve missed most of 90 day fiance. ”

hand immediately stops the idle flipping of the butterfly knife in her hand. tv is playing but, alice hasn’t been paying attention much. there’s a lot going on in her head. but alice is doing her best to hold it together, to try and make sense of the pieces, and figure out the direction they’re headed in. alice’s eyes move to find harley’s, and alice moves to put her knife down on the table in front of her. it takes a lot of energy not to throw it, imbed it in the wood, rather than place it calmly down on the table. restraint is shown. ‘ i.. i don’t want to be alice, the sociopath anymore. ’ alice knows she has done things. most things, she doesn’t regret. doesn’t regret the people she’s hurt on purpose, or the people who got caught in the cross fire. but she finally has everything she wants. someone who loves her. a sister who cares about her, and finally sees her for who she is. even if that sister, wasn’t kate. alice’s hands move to reach for harley’s. ‘ you’ve done the whole – committed atrocities and trying to make up for it. i – we wanna do that too. ’  alice’s words are unsure, unsteady. she’s been thinking about it. she doesn’t feel guilty for what she’s done. like catherine hamilton’s death. she’ll never feel guilt for that. but does she have to feel guilty to make up for what she’s done ? to try and help, even if it’s in her own unique way ? the question is a little bit too much on the morally questionable side, and alice doesn’t care for the answer. she just knows she wants to be treated different, and not loose the relationships she’s gained. she has to do better. try harder.