he watches her turn as requested and moves nary a muscle , enjoys the sight of her slowly returning to the girl he’d met that fated night in braavos . if he really focused he could transport himself back to that time . when life was free of care and worry . when his life was his own and he lived to please no one apart from himself . when he was seen to all at driftmark as the raven haired bastard . back then she had been the only person to look at him and see someone who was worthy of love ––– a love that was without stipulations . his features were not repulsive to her , imagined she quite liked them . had liked them long before adulthood saw fit to trim the pubescent weight from his face and make a man of him ; for the ladies of westeros the same could not be said . the resounding thud of her jeweled pins hitting the floor , dropped without care , brings him back to the now with her and it’s like sweet music to his ears . loathes that she must parade around in these embellished costumes , play dress up each day to belong in this world –––– in HIS WORLD .
the tips of his fingers skim up the length of her back and with expert fluidity unknot the laces of the dress that works to constrain her . aids with much desire in her release from this elaborate masquerade ––– an intricately designed prison . let one of them be FREE of this penal institution . her immediate concession feels like the first VICTORY of the night . sees his heart sprout wings so that it might soar and trepidation fade away like a dream upon waking . tonight she wouldn’t place his well fare above their shared yearning . and he would not disentangle himself from her in the hours that preceded dawn , cementing further the impropriety of their union . “ it hardly ever feels as though i’m being kept from sleep when i’m in good company . ” sleep hadn’t come easy in NINE YEARS why should this night stray from routine ? supposed the difference presented itself in his purposeful elusion . he didn’t want to part with her , tonight had shined a light on HARSH realities . realities that would become harsher still with the breaking of day . to avoid tomorrows emergence he would do most anything . “ though truthfully is it not i who has kept you up ? ”
he leans back then palms digging into the mattress beneath him , his own shirt forgotten as he resumes following her disrobing with ravenous eyes . layer after layer is stripped away and he finds his fingers curling against the duvet eager to reach out to her , bring her nearer to him , but trying for patience . the admission of those three words puts a pin in his growing fervor and gives his heart momentary pause within his chest ––– skips a full beat . and seeks to rectify it by HAMMERING expeditiously against his ribs ; ivory cage imprisons his heart like a song bird , one that aspires to break free . it is framed as a question and yet it requires no response . there has never been any doubt , but this transcends reassurance . they had never been the sort to need it , to be constantly assured of LOVE , and as a result proclamations such as this were not habitual for them . it is so intermittent that it can result in heartfelt words feeling more like that of a blow than a comfort . but in this instance it slips perfectly between the cracks in his heart , fills them and makes him WHOLE . can feel those words wrap around his aching heart like an embrace , one that is followed by her embrace .
her hands are everywhere at once and they leave his skin feeling as though it were licked by flames . they find respite against his chest and he wonders if she can feel the way his heart responds in kind . they are face to face once again and now he can see for himself the tears that wade in her expressive eyes . wrestles with the swiftPAIN the sight inspires in him . there is a DEAFENING need to rid her of this sorrow . “ and i love you . more than anything in this world . ” this world that he should’ve given to her . tentative hands cup her face and the pad of his thumb brushes against the swell of her cheek . “ i have loved only you . i meant what i said that night in braavos . ” the words are whispered as he inches forward , lips no more than a hairs length away . “ you’re it for me . ” a lot of things had changed since then , but his love for her and the space she occupied in his heart had not been one of them . punctuates the moment by capturing her lips in a deep , languid kiss that steals the breath from both of their lungs . his hands trail downward ––– skim over her neck , flit across the exposed skin of her shoulders , and drift down her sides until they grasp at her hips .
she is pulled without much effort into his lap and only then is contact with her broken ––– lips part and hands release her ––– so that he can finally work at removing his shirt . the crisp white garment is tugged hastily from his breeches , pulled over his head , and tossed aside carelessly . just as quickly as it’d gone his mouth is upon her again bypasses her lips and goes straight for the warm flesh of her throat , places open mouthed kisses along the column of her neck until he reaches her ear . “ i know you must be taken seriously in court , ” a wayward hand slides up the expanse of her abdomen and comes to rest just beneath her breast . a faint smile touches his lips and it’s lascivious and playful all at once . tries to push the MISERY from before down , wishes to SMOTHER it . “ but i want to mark you where the world can see . ” he’d never left a love bite upon her neck , but everywhere else had been free to be marked by insatiable lips and teeth . “ you and i would be the only ones to know the truth of it . i can see their flushed faces and gawking eyes now . would envy you if they knew whose lips had been pressed to your throat . ” a soft laugh escapes him at the APPALLING idea and an ARROGANCE he aggrandizes to imbue the moment with needed LEVITY .
he pulls away for what even he can only hope is the final time . wraps an arm around her lower back for support and slides the other beneath the backs of her knees . without warning he is on his feet lifting her in a bridal carry for the moment –––– the closest he would ever get . before turning to lay her down properly upon the bed . helps tug the duvet down pass her feet so that he can cover her with it , places her comfort above his own and prepares her for a bout of sleep that is more than needed . a lingering kiss is placed upon her forehead and it feels like goodbye but it is the furthest thing from it . rights himself and rounds the bed , all the while pulling at the drawstring of his breeches and working his way out of them until he is left in his short braies . he slips beneath the cover and releases a sigh as the pressures and stresses of the day seem to truly leave him all at once ; such profound relief only found when they share a bed . his eyes drift shut but he is light years away from allowing sleep to take ahold , slides this hand closer to her beneath the blanket and curls his pinky ‘round her own . can’t stand to be near her and not touch her , the entire evening had been just that and it had been a true test in durability but had left him half-starved for the feel of her .
THE EXISTS THE BRIEFEST OF SILENCES BEFORE HE TAKES THEM BOTH ON A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE :
“ gaomagon ao gīmigon skoros nyke pendagon nūmāzma often? se jēda nyke sylutan naejot laodigon īlva lī clams se ao pālegīon va nyke . ”
“ īlē meant naejot sagon va ñuha paktot yn se hembar run nyke gīmigon zȳhon laesi issi va nyke se konīr’s iā līrinon va aōha laehurlion nyke ȳdra daor pendagon nyke’ve mirre dakōtan rȳ se canals hae adere hae nyke gōntan bona tubis . ” the memory brings about an lethargic smile and hopes with the every inch of himself that it will bring her similar AMUSEMENT . with the same ease that allowed him to switch to valyrian he transitions smoothly back into the common tongue . “ i think back on our time in braavos and i’m beginning to realize you had far too much fun at my expense . you were a terribly cruel thing . but then the beautiful ones always are , aren’t they ? ”
SHE DOESN’T NEED TO HEAR THEM. those three words too often unsaid betwixt the pair. she doesn’t need them , because they flow through her veins. they exist in the air around her. they are the foundation on which she finds her strength. they are a TRUTH that doesn’t need reiterating. the world around them is built on falsifications & deception , but this remains. she doesn’t need to hear them - - but she is glad that she does. they soothe her soul , and she damns the fact that they shouldn’t. she damns the fact that it would be kinder for her to LET HIM GO. because the other unfortunate truth is that she doesn’t believe that she can. and moreover , she doesn’t want to. each syllable brings her closer to him , the sound of his voice spreading gooseflesh across the exposed skin of her arms. years later , and it was still the thing she loved best –––– particularly when it spoke words designated for her ears only. those were the real ones. they represented her lucerys.
face turns toward the hand that holds her cheek , lips grazing his wrist. she thinks briefly to braavos, as the name of her home –––– their home rolls off of his tongue. she LIMITS these memories , if she can. but this time , she allows her mind to wander, for he is here and can just as quickly pull her back to reality. on her own , it is far more difficult. she remembers the night in question. they were in a similar proximity then. she remembers his EYES more than anything , wanting , and tender , and true. the same way they look in the half - light of her chambers nine years later. –––– you’re it for me. and he was for her , too. it was IMPOSSIBLE for her heart to give room for anyone else. made more impossible by the sheer fact that she didn’t want to.
SHE WANTS TO REPLY , but familiar lips find hers and leave little room for speaking. it’s been far too long , she realizes , since she’s been kissed by him. they both make up for it now. fingertips flutter across his chest , and over his shoulders before steeling themselves at the back of his neck. it is with this action that she refuses to be parted with him - - for however long that allows them. she kisses him with all of the softness that she denies herself outside of his company. but there is something else , too , in the mingling of their breaths , and the hitch in her throat : an understanding that loving him comes with a longing that she is too often denied. she falls into his lap with practiced ease , sending black curls tumbling down her shoulders & his. –––– there’s no telling where she ends and he begins : it’s always been that way.
she looks at him through dark lashes as his garment is removed. teeth skim her lower lip , a poor attempt at stifling a smile that all but fades in place of the parting of her lips as his mouth finds her skin once more. the trailing of his mouth nearly stops her breath , before eliciting an all-too-contented sigh. slim fingers twist into his hair , a sure tell that his ministrations are producing the desired effect. the first of his words are lost on her - - thoughts of court so far removed from her mind that they simply refuse to register. ❝ hm? ❞ she rests her head against his , hoping to let the haze dissipate so she might form more elegant sentences and prevent his EGO from inflation beyond repair. the foolish part of her : the part of her with little regard for others that would have allowed her to agree had reason not intervened , wanted to encourage him. ‘then do it.’ she wants to say. she’s lucky that his next phrase brings her back , bringing a light laugh with it. ❝ i think you overestimate how much westerosi nobility think of me, my love. of those they imagine me with , it’s improbable that they would esteem me with lords. particularly you. ❞ she’s careful not to insult his vanity. pulls back so that she might look at him . ❝ THOUGH , i do not think i would mind it so much if the ladies did. - - if they knew i had you. ❞ they would envy me, then.
the heady moment is disrupted by his swift movements , but she doesn’t refrain from placing a kiss upon his temple as he guides her to the bed. she looks up at him as she is lain down, but eyes widen as she is tucked into bed , flashing to him that they MIGHT be less than pleased with this development. though , she cannot argue with the how much heavier her frame feels against the bed. she watches him , a focused determination that wills him to find the space next to her. and he does. eyes fall close once she is CONFIDENT that he will remain. a finger finds hers , and she’s quick to bend her own in reciprocation. it reminds her something of the promises children make to each other.
THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY MADE THEIR PROMISES , TOO .
it’s the valyrian that reinvigorates her. her own tongue being used by his . something they reserved for braavos , the words of letters sent in recent years ( in hopes that outside prying eyes would tire of translating & overlook them ) , and now quiet moments like these. it brings more COMFORT than she is expecting , and spreads a smile across her face.
❝ iksin bisa gō iā tolī nyke ivestretan ao bona tolvie clam isse brāvos vēttan braavosi pearls? ❞ there’s a proud smile that accompanies her words. she closes the distance between them , turning onto her stomach and resting her chin lightly against his chest. fingertips dance across the planes of his chest. she hums out a LAUGH , thinking of the wicked ways she had tormented him. ❝ nyke ivestretan zirȳla īlē iā āeksio hen vesteros , exiled naejot glaesagon iā sȳrkta ābrar isse essos, yn iā thief īles olvie elaborate ❞
she uses the moment he speaks to litter kisses along his chest , before settling her face in the crook of his neck. ❝ then i must be the most beautiful woman in the known word , for i don’t think i grew out of it. ❞ she rolls her eyes , though she feels like the cruelest , at times. they must be quite beautiful to be this cruel. to subject themselves to a life like this - - to deprive themselves of the one they want. she feels herself teeter on the edge of sadness , and stays it by attempting humor instead. she moves her head , hovering it over his , and speaks , her words displaced by intermittent kisses . ❝ i also convinced several merchants that you were intent on paying with peach pits. and there’s a distinct possibility that you’ve been barred from the black bargeman , and the mummer’s playhouse nearest the purple harbor. ❞
