Stop saying “do it scared” i do everything scared I sleep scared Boy i’ll kill u
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@whiskeylullabye
Stop saying “do it scared” i do everything scared I sleep scared Boy i’ll kill u

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greenhouse window
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought
Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about no❤️
dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

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"Why must we Madonna/whore the vegetables?" is a phrase I just felt super glue itself in my lexicon immediately
Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?
I found this on the public printer yesterday and now it's part of our decor and I'm kind of obsessed

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duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber
If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon
hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.
"I asked Chat gpt"
OK well I asked my crystal ball and it told me the Girl has reached Goblin City

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit
these tags make me so mad because you're right