my weird little corner of the internet

cannot fucking believe how many notes this has and continues to get

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

you motherfucker…

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

surely there has to be another option between "churning out 20-episode seasons every year and the actors never see their family or friends and don't have time to do any other job and hate the show at this point" and "maybe you'll get 8 episodes every 2 to 4 years :)"

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

Dios mio, es La Creatura

significantly advanced anxiety is perceptually indistinguishable from precognition

you can see all possible futures but they're all the Darkest Timeline

When you think you may have a super power but actually you're just Mentally Ill with a dash of good pattern recognition