white nights

“But our missed opportunities never leave us, and every time they come back to haunt us, we ache. Or perhaps what haunts us is that nagging thought that things might have turned out differently. Because without that thought, we would put it down to fate and accept it.”

“All I could feel was a terrible hollowness in my heart. A door had opened, promising the sublime, but then it had slammed shut, robbing my life of all hope and meaning. I felt as bereft as if I’d awoken from the sweetest of dreams to face the pain of truth.”

“how can one person make another person so happy? What amazing powers we must have, hidden deep inside us.”

“Having never known such intimacy before, I was desperate to protect it. And perhaps what I desired most was to possess her wholly and absolutely, body and soul, but I was so fearful of losing what I already had that I did not dare look away from it. I was, in effect, watching the most beautiful bird in all creation and keeping perfectly still for fear of frightening it away with a sudden movement.

“But in my zeal to tell the whole truth, I put too much emphasis on my shortcomings, thereby distorting it.”

“We had found in each other rare treasures. ”

“This was how life should be lived: attuned to nature, its every flutter and sway, while time moves inexorably forward. Rejoicing in every moment, finding a lifetime in each and every one, in the knowledge that these moments were revealing themselves to me as to no other. Never forgetting that there existed another with whom I could share all my thoughts. I just had to wait …

“A soul only came forward when it found its twin, when it felt no need to rely on mere words to explain itself … It was only then that we truly began to live – live with our soul. At that moment, all doubts and shame could be set aside. All rules could be broken, as two souls joined in embrace. All my inhibitions had disappeared. All I wanted was to pour out my heart to her, the good with the bad, the weaknesses with the strengths, holding nothing back, baring my soul. I had so much to say to her … enough to fill a lifetime. All my life, I’d been silent. Whenever I’d been tempted to speak, I’d quickly changed my mind. ‘Why bother?’ I’d say to myself. ‘What difference will it make if you speak?’ In the past, I’d been just as quick to let emotion get in the way – to decide, on slim evidence, that a certain person could never understand me. But this time, my first impressions stood fast: she would understand me perfectly.”

“But we were still trying to look each other over, without making it too obvious, and whenever our eyes met, we smiled, liking what we saw.”

“How was it that a person could bring such happiness to another without really doing anything at all? A friendly greeting, an innocent smile … and at that moment I wanted nothing else.”

“There are things – so many things – that I need to say … but to whom? … Can there be another soul wandering this great globe who is as lonely as I? Who would hear me out? Where would I begin?”

“And there I was, trying so hard to penetrate someone else’s mind, to find out if the soul hiding inside it was ordered or in turmoil. For even the most wretched and simple-minded man could be a surprise, even a fool could have a soul whose torments were a constant source of amazement. Why are we so slow to see this, and why do we assume that it is the easiest thing in the world to know and judge another? Why, when we are reluctant even to describe a wedge of cheese we are seeing for the first time, do we draw our final conclusions from our first encounters with people, and happily dismiss them?”

“By criticizing everyone else at the same time, he succeeded in convincing them of his importance.”

“The more I needed my friends, the more I longed to run away.”

“And here was the strangest thing: the more my situation worsened, the less I could be sure of surviving from one day to the next, the greater my shame and my reluctance to ask for help.”

“a dash of curiosity is all it takes to stumble upon treasures we never expected.”

“Maybe there are possibilities in me — they have not yet come to fruition. But your friendship, your wonderful sympathy, is everything. . . .”