PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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garrus is just mad shepard won't let him use her widow
grunt does some mental math
I could throw a few salarians off a cliff, if that'll make you feel better.
So, how was group? Uh, if I'm being honest... wasn't for me.

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Varric Tethras as a character is wild. He calls everyone by a nickname. He writes trashy romance novels. He’s a prolific liar. His family got them kicked out of the dwarf kingdom for rigging dwarven Wrestlemania matches. He has fingers in literally every crime ring in Kirkwall. He lives in a pub. He named his weapon after his absent girlfriend with whom he has a restraining order. He denies his involvement in keeping the wizard police away from his friend’s illegal magic Urgent Care. He’s the mom of the friend group. And he does this all while being four feet tall
belletheoutsider:
“Yes…” She sighed. “I know he means well, but it does make it hard to be a prisoner in my own home.” Her smile reappeared at his offer. “I would like that. Thank you. But you are not a lowly knight. I can tell there is more to you than you want others to believe.”
He could only imagine how difficult it was for her, but it was not his place his to comment. He didn’t approve of her being locked up like some prisoner but he didn’t want to offend this Lady. Instead he called over for two ales.
“Hmm, making guesses are we? Why would you think that?” He kept his cool well, but he did not like people getting too close to the truth.
belletheoutsider:
Belle smiled at Bae. In a way, he reminded Belle of a younger version of herself. That was often how people in her castle would describe her as she learned how to read. He was a cute child and very resourceful.
“Thank you,” she nodded politely. “I hope I am making her proud. I know she wouldn’t my father keeping me locked away as much as she does. She would never let a scar keep her from this.”
“Ah, he keeps you locked away to prevent another tragedy.. I can see it from both sides.” He ruffled Bae’s hair but the boy ignored him. “You shall have to return at some point. Until then.. can I buy you something to drink? So long as you don’t take offense to a lowly knight offering a Lady a drink?” He was lightly teasing.
belletheoutsider:
“My family is not noble by blood,” she explained as she sat with him at one of the tables of the tavern. “My father was given his title and his lands by King Leopold after his service in the King’s army.”
“My mother always wanted me to remember to always care for our people because they are the ones who give us our power.” Her eyes went to the book Bae was reading. “I tried to keep that after she passed.”
Rumplestiltskin waited for her to take a seat before joining her at the table, gently pushing his son to take a seat too. The lad was happy to be able to give full attention to his book now that they were sitting. He propped his book up against his Papa’s helmet.
“I see. It’s refreshing to see.” He watched her for a moment. “I am sorry to hear she is no longer with us. I am sure she would be pleased to see you sneaking out here to see your people.”

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belletheoutsider:
Belle smiled at him softly. “You are very kind.” She was happy that he wasn’t treating her anything differently. Even with the title change, hopefully no one would hear him.
She nodded. “Our kingdom was attacked by ogres. I went to help a local village that had been destroyed when the ogres attacked again. I was injured and my father never wanted me to leave the castle again.”
He made a soft noise but didn’t comment. He tried his best to be kind nowadays but it was still odd to be called kind, especially by a beautiful young woman who might have caught his interest a little too much.
“A Lady who goes to her people? My, you are an oddity..” He quickly realised that his words could offend and stammered. “I- I mean, its nice to see. Its nice to see somebody in power taking care of those less fortunate. And I know full well the horrors the ogres can rend so I applaud you for trying to help. It was a good thing.”
belletheoutsider:
“Please…no need for that.” She looked around frightened that someone heard. Her eyes went to Bae, who was still focused on his book. “I don’t want these people to know.”
Her smile returned at his offer. “I would like that. Thank you.” She took his arm. “I am sorry. I didn’t want to lie to you.”
“For a Knight it is common place to refer to a woman as Lady, it means little more than that.” He assured her. He wasn’t sure he would be able to stop himself from calling her her proper title.
He nodded and led her away, towards the castle he had seen before. “I understand. I am assuming you snuck out from under your Father’s guarded eye?”
belletheoutsider:
Belle’s eyes widened. After all of that, she gave herself away. She was so enthralled in the conversation that she misspoke. “I-I um…I was…I mean…I wasn’t…”
She sighed deeply. Her voice lowered. “I am Lady Belle…I travel here once a week to visit my people. I don’t want anyone to know I am there. I want to be treated like any other person here.”
Rumplestiltskin watched that shock spread over her face. He would often enjoy catching people out but not this time. He was merely interested why she was lying.
“Lady Belle.” He repeated softly, the name he had given her without even realising it was actually her title. “I see. I can’t pretend to understand why you would want to but I have an idea. May I walk you to your actual home?”
belletheoutsider:
“I knew he was a child after my own heart.” She chuckled softly. “My father often found my servants chasing after me as I tried to have adventures in the castle. I wanted to recreate the scenes I read in my books.
They came close to the tavern. “Here we are.” She wanted to invite them in, but they probably needed to be heading somewhere. Still, the last thing she wanted was for them to part ways so soon.
He knew there was more to this young woman than she was letting on. He smiled a little and turned to look at her. “You are well off then, to live in a castle and to have servants.”
He stopped outside the tavern and fully turned to face her. Baelfire had stopped at his side, still reading happily. “Tell me.. are you really staying here? Or are you a lady of these lands?”
belletheoutsider:
“Thank you,” she said with a blush to her cheeks. It was a nice change to have a man appreciate her intelligence. Most men in her father’s court never thought it was good to have a woman reading as much as she does.
“I am sure he is happy,” She looked down at him. “He seems like a happy child. He seems to be enjoying this adventure you are on.”
Women reading was a rarity back in his village. Most of the women had learned to read and write but books were a scarce resource that most of the farmers just didn’t have. The women were smart but not necessarily educated. Belle was different.
“He is a young lad, adventure is all he wants.” He laughed, ever the proud Papa. “Especially when he reads adventures in his books, he immediately wants to go on one of his own.”

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belletheoutsider:
It seemed strange that the word brave seemed that it did not fit. He was a knight. This could not be the first time that someone referred to him as brave. Even so, this was a situation where it seemed like he was brave to get out of such a horrible place.
“We are often braver than we think we are.” She smiled at him softly, trying to have him think better of himself. “There is no doubt he is loved. Anyone could see that.”
Her smile was beautiful, so beautiful that it was almost overwhelming when he caught sight of it. She was too beautiful and he had to turn his head to prevent her seeing his blush just from her smile.
“Perhaps. You are a very intelligent woman..” He nodded his head as he smiled. She was a wonder. “That’s the main thing I want for him in life. A good life.. a happy life.”
belletheoutsider:
Belle was stunned for a few moments. The conversation suddenly took a different tone. At first, she thought he was leaving a home he was fond of and would return from time to time. Now she understood he was leaving for good.
She sighed and squeezed his arm. “That was the brave and right thing to do.” Her eyes went on the boy. “He should grow up in a place where he knows love and acceptance.”
He immediately looked down at her hand on his arm the moment it tightened. He often offered his arm to women - as was expected of a knight - but he was still unused to touch. And her touch was making him feel something he was unused to.
“Brave..” The word still rang hollow to him. People had called him brave over the lat year but it never felt true. “Loved, yes. My boy will always be loved, no matter where we end up. But for now he seems happy travelling and exploring. As kids do.” He laughed.