My Eurovision Reviews

× Denmark: Reiley - Breaking My Heart Denmark sends a modern-ish pop song, but it's too basic and cutesy. And Reiley seems nervous and his vocals are meh, especially the falsetto notes. The song opens with some bird sounds. Then the dense, gurgling synth (which reminds me of Taylor Swift's “Style”) takes over the verses. The “pink skies, red wine” line adds some squeals to it. Then the chorus switches to a distorted vocal effect, which inserts some ticks and slices halfway through it. Then the bridge is a synth release until it turns soft and quiet. And the final chorus uses the full synth beat instead. The song is mildly catchy, but it's not very unique. The staging is okay. Reiley begins inside a heart-shaped frame, which he scratches out and removes. Then he stands inside this rotating set piece that consists of 3 empty rooms. He also lays on the floor and makes heart hands at the end. Meanwhile, the stage uses soft colours and the bridge changes to dark blue lighting. The lyrics are about Reiley's toxic ex, who said some hurtful things, played mind games, wouldn't compromise, and weaponized Reiley's fears. It was an on and off relationship. And Reiley says nothing would change if they started over – he'd just get his heart broken again.

✓ Armenia: Brunette - Future Lover Armenia goes for an artistic entry. I love how the song goes from calm to angsty to intense. It begins as a graceful, subdued piano ballad, with a nice “ah-oh-oh” hook. The first chorus adds in a thunder roll, thumps, and strings. Then the mood changes in the second verse, where Brunette frustratingly vents, alongside persistent stomps and overpowering backing vocals. This part intensifies as it goes. Then, after a breather, there's an ethereal dance break. Then the second chorus is bigger. And the switch to Armenian at the end is so satisfying. In the lyrics, Brunette dreams of her future lover who she can enjoy simple pleasures with. She's a hopeless romantic. And she acts “good” to appear desirable. But then reality sets in and she crashes out from never finding love. She's trapped in a fantasy. She prematurely plans for the future. And her panic attacks are unnecessary. The staging centers around this slanted platform, which Brunette lays on at first, while pink or grey swirls are projected onto it. Then she stands up to vent, while the platform reflects her shadow and the lights keep turning off and on. The dance break has an elusive vibe, thanks to the smoke and camera cuts – I'm surprised it actually works. And she stands on the platform again at the climax. Also, the stage uses dark lighting.

× Romania: Theodor Andrei - D.G.T. (Off and On) Romania stopped trying this year and they ultimately withdrew afterwards. I just don't understand what this entry is going for. The NF performance was weird but the ESC staging is phoned in. And I don't get why the first minute of the song was changed to acoustic. It's a boring start. The regular instrumental eventually appears, which is a retro rock thing that keeps intensifying and pausing, with small changes in the instrumental. The second chorus starts small, with random background voices, then it turns more hostile. And Theodor screams at the end. He also adds personality with the way he uses his voice. But I just don't like the song's structure. The performance begins with him playing a guitar, while the floor LED shows a woman covering her crotch with a guitar. Then the main LED shows two Theodors (and later, two women in lab coats) next to a lava flow. These LED images are so weird. Theodor also twitches his head and shows his bare chest. And at the end, a dancer runs out to smear paint on his chest. I'm just... confused by this staging. The lyrics are about Theodor catching feelings for this seductive woman who holds the power over him. She toys with him. And he desperately wants her, but she doesn't want anything serious.

✓ Estonia: Alika - Bridges Estonia sends a cinematic ballad. The song is kinda formulaic, but it builds in a satisfying way, the melody is strong, and Alika gives a great performance, especially vocally. It opens with a sharp piano. Then the piano pauses several times in the first verse to exhale. There's some gorgeous backing “ahh-uhh”s, then the piano moves faster and a cello appears. The tension breaks during the next “ahh-uhh” moment. Then the tension rebuilds through the second chorus and bridge, until the song turns fragile, which sets up the big climax. And Alika ends on a big note. Each chorus is bigger than the last here. The lyrics are about Alika overcoming anxiety. She's able to feel secure now and has stopped disassociating. She's forgiven herself for pretending she's okay. She's finally able to build connections (or bridges) again. And she reassures us that it's never too late to get our lives back on track. She also sings with a self-assured, hopeful tone. The staging is memorable due to the player piano. The camera shows close-ups of it (including its insides), and Alika plays it for a moment. She eventually gets up. Then she curls her fingers behind her back. She walks down the ramp during the second chorus (which I find effective). And she stands confidently during the climax while the stage turns golden.

✓ Belgium: Gustaph - Because of You Gustaph boosts a widely disliked song to 7th place. Impressive. The chorus is basic, but I like that the song is a pride anthem. In the lyrics, Gustaph appreciates someone who taught him self-love. He also says life's too short, so let's enjoy it. And he won't let the homophobes break his spirit (“well look at us now!”) The staging brings it to life though. The LED plays a major role. It starts with a silhouette effect. Then it shows silhouetted dancers, the backing singers, and drag queens, plus some lyrics. Meanwhile, Gustaph starts on a staircase. Once he descends it, the floor shows a paint spill under him. Then he does a little dance with the backing singers. And a voguing dancer appears at the end, while the backing members whip out some fans. Gustaph has stage presence as well and his white fedora is memorable. The song has a slower intro. Then the '90s house beat takes over, which is full of “bwap” sounds. Each verse line ends with them. There's also a “bwap” break after the first chorus pulls back. Then the second verse pauses at the start. The second chorus keeps the energy going until the bridge cuts it off. And the final chorus transition escalates via some “bwap”s, a drum shake, a stretched out hook, a sputter, and Gustaph releasing a big note. Otherwise, the backing vocals are a highlight here.

✓ Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou - Break a Broken Heart Cyprus sends something polished and professional. I'm not surprised Mello songwriters wrote it. It's giving “style over substance”, but the intense, dramatic, atmospheric production works on me. And I like the “YOU LIFT ME UP...” hook. Andrew begins with a deafening howl. Then, after a thud, the first verse is softer, except for the drum clamour moment. There's a pause and a crackle during the song title. Then the first chorus is held back, while the later ones are bigger. The post-chorus unleashes more howls, echo-y backing vocals, and drum bangs. Then the second verse furiously pounds, until it softens at the end. The bridge has a singsong melody. The song quiets before the climax. And there's heartbeats at the end. Cyprus put a lot of effort into the staging. It has a dark, misty setting. It's shown in widescreen. There's a rainfall effect. The stage is engulfed in flames at the end. And Andrew has very intense and confident energy. He also outstretches his arm on beat. Lyrically, it's a bitter break-up song, where Andrew's ex didn't care that he was suffering. She treated him poorly and tossed him aside for another. But he's resilient and unwavering. He declares that she can't break a heart that's already broken. But he also misses her, so it's confusing. And there's a couple lines that try too hard to be poetic.

× Iceland: Diljá - Power I usually love electropop (“Paper” was one of my faves in 2017). But “Power” just doesn't go anywhere. The “oh oh oh... p-p-p-power!” post-chorus falls flat. And Diljá moves around in a disorganized, unrehearsed way. The song starts minimalist, where the first chorus teases the beat. Then the dense, buzzy bass synth drops during the post-chorus. The second verse reduces to some “wah-wah” sounds and light drums. Then the second chorus brings the synth back. And the bridge softens until it escalates with a growly synth, some splashes, and Diljá's strained voice. The song doesn't do enough to stand out though. In the lyrics, Diljá learns to love herself instead of relying on a partner to love her, because dependency isn't healthy. She's ready to let them go. She won't hold them back anymore. She's tired of repeating the cycle. And she'll put the power back in her hands by doing this. On stage, Diljá sits down at first, while some branches sprout on the LED behind her. Then she lays on the floor and they sprout under her too. She does a flip to get up. Then she awkwardly moves around the stage. She lays on a spinning circle. She takes her coat off. And the LED shows blooming flowers and it distorts during the bridge.

× Greece: Victor Vernicos - What They Say This is rough to watch. Victor probably wasn't ready for Eurovision at 16 years old. He keeps jumping up and down and awkwardly hyping up the crowd. And his vocals are rough, although his husky tone offers something different. He sits and lies down at first, while the floor shows images of him curled up, alongside some Greek letters. Then the main LED displays his (crumbling) face and more Greek text. It also shows multiple copies of him at once. I find the LED cringey here. Then, during the final build-up, Victor squats and runs forward. Musically, the song isn't that special. It begins minimal, with a subtle guitar, while the pre-chorus adds a piano. Then the chorus persistently stomps its foot down, which creates an anxious vibe. The stomps continue through the second verse until they relent in the pre-chorus. Then the second chorus starts minimal and it builds back to the anxious feeling. And the outro is a clap and bang breakdown, with some slices. The lyrics are the best aspect. The song is about Victor's anxiety. He describes his physical and mental responses. He says he hates having it. He dreads each day. He wishes he could ignore it. He misses being a carefree kid. He feels overwhelmed. And he helps others instead of helping himself, because he thinks he's a lost cause.

✓ Poland: Blanka - Solo Blanka also makes a widely disliked song qualify. There was some NF drama with this one. The “so-LO so-LO” hook is memorable, and it's a summery song, but it's so basic. The reggae beat is generic. The dance break only exists because of Chanel. The “down-di-di-down” hook is whatever. And the “BEJBA!” meme and the brainrot staging are so unserious. The opening shot is like a VCR recording, where the group takes a selfie. Then the camera uses a panoramic view. There's constant pink clouds floating across the screen. The dancers move one-by-one for a moment. The LED shows flopping hands. It also shows a hologram of Blanka on a beach background that turns into colourful birds. There's pyro in the later choruses. The dance break has a bunch of fire imagery. And the dancing is pretty casual. The song has a submerged, wheezy intro. Then the bouncy reggae beat drives things. The verses add in the bass midway. The pre-chorus relaxes the beat, with a castanet and a jittery bit. There's a pause before the chorus hits. The dance break is a percussion break. And the bridge quiets down. The lyrics are also basic. It's about Blanka ditching her inconsistent, deceiving lover. She's gonna show them what they're missing out on. And she'll have the last laugh.

✓ Slovenia: Joker Out - Carpe Diem Slovenia sends an indie rock song. It has an uplifting vibe, the chorus is catchy, and the band are likeable goofballs on stage. They wink, tilt their heads, squat, literally butt heads, run off, and ruffle some hair. They're just having fun, especially during the guitar solo. The staging is also like a concert, where the band is clumped together on the outer stage. And the LED resembles a marquee sign. The song has a calmer guitar intro, then the drums and bass enter, as the energy picks up. There's some falsetto backing voices. Then the pre-chorus glides. The chorus stops, before it bounces along with a saturated drum and some backing “ah-ah”s. There's a guitar solo where the drums stop and start. Then the bridge minimizes, as they clap their hands. I like when the beat returns afterwards. And the outro quiets down. The lyrics are about them deciding to enjoy life instead of wasting it by being miserable. The band parties all night long to forget about their worries and the hateful people. The dance floor is where they can let their guard down and where the fake facades vanish. And they say that humanity deserves a break after 810k years of nonstop working.

× Georgia: Iru - Echo This marks 6 consecutive NQs for Georgia. It's their best entry since “Warrior” imo, but the lyrics are so incoherent. It's like they put a bunch of words in random order (“thing is known!”) Iru claims that it represents her jumbled inner voice, since her romantic feelings make it harder to think. But meh. She also speaks in tongues at various points. The chorus becomes repetitive as well, but I'm a sucker for these big atmospheric productions. The song opens with a deep thud and a sawing sound. Then the chorus contains rumbling tribal drums, deep backing vocal echoes, and a series of hand smacks (which I really like). There's a staticky rattle afterwards (which reappears in the later choruses). Then the first verse wobbles and ticks like a clock. The second verse focuses on the bass. And the bridge reduces to a heartbeat and clock ticks, leading to some grand strings and Iru unleashing a big note. The staging is too static, however. Iru just stands between two tall LED walls, which display creepy hands. It does have a stormy night aesthetic though. Iru also crouches down for the second verse in a sea of flashing lights. There's a shooting star effect. And the stage lights up at the end, where her train flows in the wind. I should mention that Iru won JESC 2011 (as part of a group).

× San Marino: Piqued Jacks - Like an Animal Well, this is one big pile of nothing. It's just a generic, pedestrian rock song with a bland chorus. It has an electric guitar intro, then the drums quickly arrive. There's some “AN-I-MAL” responses, “YOU HAVE/I GET” echoes, some windy howls. The verses are more restrained, where the beat heightens midway. The beat relents just before the chorus. And the bridge submerges, leading to the singer releasing a bunch of big notes at the end. But the instrumental is not that interesting. The performance isn't particularly notable either. It uses red lighting. There's lips and eyes on the LED. The singer lays down at one point. And he tries to be seductive (I think?) but it comes across creepy. The lyrics are about him pursuing this woman that turns him on. He can detect her scent from a distance like an animal, which I also find a bit creepy. He says she has snake eyes and a biting tongue. She has a spell over him. She distracts his mind. And she's poisonous.

✓ Austria: Teya & Salena - Who the Hell Is Edgar? Austria sends a funny, whimsical, oddball entry, but it doesn't feel like a joke. It has a message, the production is polished, and Teya & Selena seem cool. They have bratty banter in the intro. Then the foot taps and antsy guitar drive the verses, with a guitar twiddle bit. After a dubstep wobble, it cuts to a choir chant. Then the first chorus builds to a rubbery synth, while the second one gets right into it. The chorus is also a bunch of choppy “POE POE POE”s. Then, the beat stops at the end of verse 2. The choir chant becomes a euphoric post-chorus. The bridge calms before escalating with the “0.003”s, leading to an “UGH!” grunt. And the outro returns to the choir. I love how the song switches up in dynamic ways. It's also catchy and the foot-tapping rhythm is effective. The lyrics address how artists only earn about $0.003 per stream. Which isn't enough to afford rent or pricey champagne. The narrator also feels possessed by Edgar Allan Poe's spirit, which helps her write. She's tempted to try Shakespeare next. And Salena doesn't know who Edgar is lol. The staging is too empty though. I wish it was more like a skit. Instead, it relies on the LED, which shows a typewriter and many, many copies of the backing dancers (who wear red shirts and sunglasses). They also form Edgar's face at the end. And there's a casual arm dance and the stage has a red aesthetic.

This was my #1 before the live shows, but will the staging demote it?

✓ Albania: Albina & Familja Kelmendi - Duje This sounds very Albanian. It also sounds quite dramatic and desperate. Albina screams in the intro, alongside some thuds and solemn strings. Then the percussion furiously stops and starts in the first verse. I like when the family members' voices intensify. Then the first chorus starts gentle until it intensifies upon “MOS E GJUJ”. There's a soaring, scratchy traditional instrument break that follows. Then the second verse is submerged at first. The next chorus gets right into it. The next “MOS E GJUJ” has a submerged effect. I like when Albina goes wild in the outro, while her family repeats “DUJE DUJE”. And the song ends on a thud. The lyrics are about Albina resolving some family drama. She's upset by their pointless fighting. They can't be happy with what they have. And it wasn't like this when she was a kid. The staging elevates this one. Albina brought her whole family with her! They give a passionate performance. The handkerchief twirling is great. I like when she falls to her knees at the end, while her family comes to her aid (after doing some “DUJE DUJE” hand pumps). And the visuals look polished. There's smoke and dark red lighting at the start. The LED shows blood vessels (that become golden strands). The floor “connects” the family together via lighting. And there's pyro later on.

✓ Lithuania: Monika Linkytė - Stay This is such a cathartic, honest, and down-to-Earth song. The composition is somewhat formulaic, but it's not a big deal. It starts as a peaceful piano ballad. Then the elongated “STAAAAAY” and “WAIIIIIT” shouts add a sense of despair. While the “čiūTO tūto (x3) / FInaLLY my HEART is BEATing!” post-chorus is a VERY satisfying resolution. It's when the flapping percussion enters and the backing singers repeat the Lithuanian mantra. Those backing singers are like a support group. The next chorus adds a heartbeat. Then the mantra continues through the bridge, where Monika unleashes some big notes, and into the outro, which softens. The lyrics are about Monika overcoming depression. She hid it since she was 16. She lost her drive. She acted like someone she wasn't. And she dealt with the pain alone. But once she embraced failure, she made progress. She also begs this person to stay and heal her because it's not easy to love a broken person. The post-chorus adds a hopeful vibe though. The simple staging is perfect for this. It uses orange and purple colours and the LED shows Lithuanian folk art. Meanwhile, Monika starts alone, then the backing singers join her on the outer stage. The song works really well late in the running order too.

✓ Australia: Voyager - Promise Australia have now won 3 semi-finals despite debuting 8 years ago. Boy, 2023 has a lot of rock songs. I'm not super crazy about this one. The intro involves a wiggly synth, snaps, and repetitive lyrics, while the drum pounds heighten things. Then the pre-chorus cools off. The chorus unleashes the heavy, roaring electric guitars and a bunch of “OH-OH”s. Then the second verse is rockier. The next pre-chorus submerges. There's a growling vocal and a heavy metal guitar break. The bridge softens until the drum booms build up, leading to a fiery guitar + keyboard solo. And the growly guitarist sings the outro, which has intense guitars. The chorus has good energy, but I wish the song stuck to synth rock instead of switching to hard rock. The staging has a city night aesthetic. Daniel even “drives” a car at the beginning. The band rocks out on stage as well. They swing their guitars around during the first guitar break, alongside some hectic camera work and lighting. And they put their feet on the car during the second one. In the lyrics, Daniel asks a bunch of “have you ever?” questions. Basically, he asks if we've ever explored outside our comfort zones, or craved human touch. He says it's the only way to feel alive. He's scared to though, so he asks his partner for reassurance.

My Ranking:

01. Austria: Teya & Salena - Who the Hell Is Edgar? ✓ 02. Estonia: Alika - Bridges ✓ 03. Albania: Albina & Familja Kelmendi - Duje ✓ 04. Armenia: Brunette - Future Lover ✓ 05. Lithuania: Monika Linkytė - Stay ✓ 06. Slovenia: Joker Out - Carpe Diem ✓ 07. Belgium: Gustaph - Because of You ✓ 08. Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou - Break a Broken Heart ✓ 09. Australia: Voyager - Promise ✓ 10. Georgia: Iru - Echo

11. Iceland: Diljá - Power 12. Poland: Blanka - Solo ✓ 13. Greece: Victor Vernicos - What They Say 14. Denmark: Reiley - Breaking My Heart 15. San Marino: Piqued Jacks - Like an Animal 16. Romania: Theodor Andrei - D.G.T. (Off and On)

✓ Norway: Alessandra - Queen of Kings 2023 starts with a bang(er)! “HER. NAME. IS. SHE!” - I can't help but shout along to that chorus. Plus the song makes me picture Viking ships conquering stormy seas. It reminds me of the sea shanty trend of 2021 (maybe that's why it went viral). It also sounds like “Thunder” and “Run to the Hills”. The song opens with a distant, ominous Italian choir and a dark humming bass, which transitions into a restrained opening chorus. Then the valiant rumbling drums drive things until the humming pre-chorus cools off. Then, after either an acceleration or a stall, the chorus inserts a rolling dance beat, which abruptly halts a couple times. I find those halts and stalls really effective. The second verse has a “RUN THE GAME! (x2)” hook that jumps out. The next pre-chorus adds claps. And the bridge is build-up of “lai-laida”s and drums, leading to a whistle note. In the lyrics, Alessandra hypes up this queen who's more powerful than the kings. She outruns the wind, she's unstoppable, she's escaped society's cage, and she's a wildcard. And even though she seems cold, she has a warm heart. On stage, Alessandra starts alone until some dancers show up, who hide and pop out behind her and play around with some light tubes. The dark lighting works well here and Alessandra has a fierce presence. She also wears a tiara and a cape.

× Malta: The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party) This band is endearingly awkward lol. The lyrics are about having social anxiety at a party, so it makes sense. I can relate as an introvert. The singer even uses a shy vocal. He finds it too noisy at this party and he feels disoriented and tense, but it might not be the alcohol. So he invites his lover back to his place, where he can dress casually and play his own music. Because once they leave, he can be himself again. The song is dominated by sax riffs. It even opens with one (plus some claps and foot taps). Then a funky bass appears. There's a nice “TEN-sion I'm GET-ting” hook and the pre-chorus has a catchy gliding bass sax. Then the “hey... wait...” bit softens up to set up the sharper, more persistent sax break that follows, which trips over a couple times. Then the beat pulls back during the next “TEN-sion” bit. And the bridge has a whirring, washing machine synth. The staging is too much though. The band switches between various set pieces – there's cardboard cut-outs of past Malta artists having a “party” (with plenty of camera zooms), a park bench, a car, and a couch. There's also title cards and a laser cat meme (why?) The singer has “hey, wait” written on his palm. He dances awkwardly, but in a nonchalant way. They change sweaters. And there's 4-pointed showbiz lights towards the end.

✓ Serbia: Luke Black - Samo mi se spava This is a very dark electropop song. It sounds menacing and industrial. It begins with a weary, ominous piano and a buzzing bass. Then Luke says “hello...” as if he's just left the matrix and he whispers the title. Then the sputtering, grinding machine sounds take over, followed by a dark bass synth for the chorus. The second verse has drum kicks, then he lambasts “GAME OVER-” and the bangs, snaps, and sputters build up into the next chorus. There's a glitchy “THIS. ENDS. NOW.” command. Then the outro goes haywire, where Luke growls “war”, “violence”, etc. and he sinisterly laughs. The lyrics are about him wanting to sleep through the impending apocalypse, which is relatable in the '20s. He just wants to get it over with. It's a disturbing feeling. And he feels like a video game character that's being controlled. He mostly uses a whispery vocal. The stage has a dark atmosphere too. Luke lays on a flower-shaped bed thing at first. Then there's flickering lights for the “hello...” bit and flashing lights for the machine sounds. Then some dancers wearing oxygen(?) suits appear, where Luke later yanks their tubes out, while a health bar graphic decreases. They also walk like zombies and walk crouched over. And there's red lighting at times, some text on screen, and a mecha boss on the LED.

× Latvia: Sudden Lights - Aijā Latvia can't even qualify with a decent song. This took a while to grow on me though, mainly because the first verse uses very weird percussion. It's like mouth sounds being played on loop, while a staticky guitar interrupts it. But, after a distortion sound, the chorus becomes a stadium rock thing, which has a big atmosphere that I quite like. The second verse then restlessly taps instead. The bridge builds into a cool staticky guitar solo. And the outro quiets into an acoustic lullaby. Interestingly, the title only appears in that outro. The lyrics are minimal, where the narrator tries to shield his child from the awful things happening in the news by singing them a lullaby, and the outro is that Latvian lullaby. He's protecting childhood innocence. The staging focuses on creating a rock concert vibe. The orange lighting, the widescreen aspect ratio, and the background light fixtures create a certain atmosphere. It transports me out of Eurovision at times. Otherwise, there's a hunched-over keyboardist. The singer sings to a guitarist at one point. The other guitarist is animated during his solos. The camera goes blurry during the distortion. And there's multiple fades to black during the outro.

✓ Portugal: Mimicat - Ai coração This is very Portuguese. It's a frenetic song that was made for dancing at a cabaret. It begins with a rising piano scale, followed by a dramatic and drawn-out intro. Then the rapid, bouncy beat takes over. The chorus is really effective in how it escalates with claps, castanets, and “Ai coração!” repetitions until it completely stops for a breather. Then there's a traditional guitar break, followed by a couple more pauses. Later, the bridge slows down, and starts seductive, before ramping up for the final chorus escalation, where Mimicat unleashes a big, long note. And the song ends emphatically. The staging is simple in a good way. Mimicat's charisma, plus a few dancers, are all that's needed. They're all dressed in red and mostly stick together. And their choreo is fun – with the head bobs, the chest slaps, the hand under chin pose, the shoulder pumps, and the way Mimicat grabs her dress. The lyrics are cute. Mimicat's heart won't leave her alone because she's in love. She describes the sensations taking over her. She says it's changed her perspective. She feels like a different person. Her mind is in another dimension. And the doctor has no cure. The song also has a heart racing vibe to it.

× Ireland: Wild Youth - We Are One Well, this is an obvious NQ. Ireland have now had ONE qualification from their last 9 performed entries. This year, they selected a dated, generic, uninspired boyband song. It sounds like it came out a decade ago. The piano intro sounds really familiar too. It bursts the song open, then the first verse is more restrained and it uses a kicking beat. Then the pre-chorus leaps out and the whole band sings the chorus together. It's a big stadium chorus but it's just a wall of noise. There's a short guitar break afterwards, then the second verse has backing echoes. While the next pre-chorus gets right into the stadium sound, which continues through the bridge. And the outro is a bang/clap breakdown. The performance is... not great. I dislike the singer's squawky vocal and he lacks confidence on stage. His glittery gold outfit is also a choice. Otherwise, he starts on a staircase. He tries to touch a hand on the LED floor. And he twirls around with some pyro towards the end. The guitarist has a decent moment at least. The lyrics are pretty cliché. They're about how we need to keep moving forward in life despite our setbacks, that we're not alone in our struggles, and we're united despite our differences.

✓ Croatia: Let 3 - Mama ŠČ! The most “WTF” entry of 2023. I almost have a morbid fascination with it. Plus the dancing drag queen on the LED is oddly hypnotizing. But the song is so unpleasant to listen to. The vocal style is not my cup of tea and the song keeps inserting these random cacophonies. The guitar intro is one of them. There's also the “TRACTOR!” grunts with motor noises. And the part where they recite the Croatian alphabet sounds like the song was thrown into a blender. Otherwise, the verses are a military march, with drill sergeant-like “ŠČ!” commands. While the chorus has a sense of impending doom. The staging is... interesting. The band wears unconventional outfits. They also stand frozen in the opening shot, they jump for the “ŠČ!”s, they march in single file, and they strip down. And there's a villainous-looking fellow who shows up later on holding two missile props that spew pyro. Meanwhile, the LED shows a line of marching drag queen clones and it switches to the band's faces for the “TRACTOR!” grunts. Like WTF did I just watch? It's a bit too crazy for me. The lyrics are a bunch of covert political references regarding Putin, but they sound nonsensical out of context (“Mama” refers to “Mother Russia”). If it was too blatant, they might've been DQ'ed.

✓ Switzerland: Remo Forrer - Watergun 2023, unsurprisingly, has multiple songs about war. Remo doesn't want to fight in one. The bloodshed and dead bodies are unsettling sights. And he misses his carefree youth when he played pretend with waterguns instead of real ones. Now that he's an adult, it's not a game anymore. The “soldier, solider” hook is okay, but the song's arrangement is too formulaic. The intro is a dinging and twitching piano. That dinging continues in the first verse, then the pre-chorus eases off. The first chorus is smaller and introduces the strings. Then, after a boom, the second verse rattles and furiously pounds. The next pre-chorus intensifies a little. Then the second chorus has marching drums. The bridge inserts some deep, wide range “oh-wah-oh”s, then the instrumental climaxes. And the outro returns to the intro. The performance really elevates this one though. It looks polished and professional. It involves 4 dancers tethered together. They're frozen at first, then they collapse during the boom (where the lights go dark) and they entangle Remo. The torso sways during “soldier, soldier” stand out as well. And I like Remo's husky vocal and when he runs forward at the end. He sounds genuine too. Otherwise, the stage is blood red at times and there's gunpower and raining missile effects.

✓ Israel: Noa Kirel - Unicorn 2023 was bound to have a Chanel copycat. But Noa flops around like fish out of water for her dance break. The synchronized choreo at the end is impressive though. It's a very intimidating outro, where the song goes haywire and the LED spams images of Noa and unicorns. She also begins inside this rotating, square tunnel illusion. She struts down the ramp with the dancers. And the stage uses purple colours. The performance takes priority over the song though. “Unicorn” sounds like 4 different songs stitched together. The intro is super dramatic. Then the first verse is more minimal, with just knocks and claps. The first chorus builds anticipation, but the payoff is delayed. Instead, it ends on a violin bit, and the second verse inserts a dribbling house beat. Then, after a growl, the second chorus rebuilds anticipation via kicks. This leads to a beat breakdown and Noa hyping the crowd by asking “you wanna see me dance?” Then the payoff is when the production randomly becomes a Blackpink song. And the outro is rowdy and adrenalized with “U-NI-CORN” chants. The lyrics are a self-empowerment message of loving your unique qualities, where Noa stands brave and proud. She also defies her bullies and encourages us to change. And she invents a new (cringy) word: “femininal”. But the unicorn metaphor is corny.

✓ Moldova: Pasha Parfeni - Soarele și luna Pasha returns with one of my favourite Moldova entries! The song mixes mystical, woodsy, folk vibes with an EDM beat. The intro establishes that woodsy vibe, with the drums and flute. Then the verses hum and clap, while Pasha sings a low voice, and each line ends on an “așa! așa! așa!” break, where the drums and flute return. This verse structure is pretty cool. The chorus minimizes, escalates, and stops; then the immersive electronic beat drops, alongside a flute break. The chorus is repeated over the electronic beat afterwards, which feels climactic. And the bridge is a drum breakdown. The chorus also has a catchy call-and-response. The lyrics are about Pasha planning to have his wedding under a starry sky in the forest. He says he charmed his fiancée with music and dancing. And he uses nature imagery. The staging creates an atmosphere too, especially with the red lighting. There's traditional outfits, two enthusiastic drummers, two backing singers with crescent-shaped hairdos (who cover Pasha's eyes), and an enjoyable flute player. The outstretched arm move is memorable as well. I like Pasha's dancing. The forward walk is effective. And he kneels for the bridge. There's also a sideways opening shot and the LED shows an eyeball, a black hole, and a blood moon.

✓ Sweden: Loreen - Tattoo (winner review in Grand Final post)

× Azerbaijan: TuralTuranX - Tell Me More Azerbaijan begins their current NQ streak. This year, they sent an indie rock song, which doesn't sound like any of their previous entries. But it's too forgettable; especially after Loreen. And while I like the “LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING” hook, it takes too long to get there. The intro plays a voicemail recording, as the song begins in a calm and sunny mood. The chorus is boring, but the rap verse is okay. Thankfully, the mood changes during the bridge, when the guitars and the tense melody appear. It leads to that “LET ME TELL YOU...” climax, then the instrumental relents and intensifies for the “LUH-UH-UHVE” bit (which I thought was the ending). And the outro is quieter. In the lyrics, the narrator wants to know if his ex is still interested. He seems doubtful though. He leaves her a voicemail saying he misses her. He's in pain and he's buried his feelings. But she thinks he's playing games. And he wants to leave his city because everyone treats him like a fool. However, he has something that might change her mind: he can give her love! Wow, that's it? The staging is too static. The twins just stand on a broken-heart-shaped platform while playing guitars. Although the black-and-white filter at the start and the split screens make it a little more interesting. And the stage uses calm colours.

✓ Czechia: Vesna - My Sister's Crown This a is multicultural entry. It involves 4 languages and singers from 4 countries. Since it's 2023, Ukraine/Russia are a part of that. The lyrics are about sisterhood, where these 6 women support and empower each other, as their message reaches other cultures. They act defiant against controlling men. They say their sister won't be subservient. That no one has the right to remove her symbolic crown. And that they aren't dolls or products. Their voices sound defiant too. The song opens with a slam and a “HEY!”, leading to an assertive folk harmony and some stern percussion. Then the pre-chorus uses swirling whistles and a 'kick-kick-plunk' beat. That beat continues in the chorus, which is quite atmospheric and enveloping. Then the second verse is a Bulgarian rap. The song pauses during “we're not your dolls”. The bridge softens into an ominous chant, ending on a power down effect. And the last chorus begins a cappella. On stage, the group wears pink outfits (the colour of femininity) and do some ponytail-ography. They also move like marionettes. They walk single file while holding their ponytails and disperse one-by-one. They huddle for the bridge where the lights go dark. And they spin around in pairs. It's a good performance. Meanwhile, the LED displays “we're not your dolls”, some hands trying to escape, and their angry faces.

× Netherlands: Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper - Burning Daylight A rare NQ from the Netherlands post-2012. Duncan Laurence was involved in this, but the song is just bland. The melody is too plain the instrumental is indistinct. The pre-chorus is decent though. The song builds as it goes. It starts as a peaceful piano ballad, as Dion sings the first verse. Then it stops for the “III-uh-III” hook, and the first chorus is smaller. Mia sings the second verse, which introduces the pattering drums. Then the second chorus is bigger. The bridge briefly quiets, before it releases some “GOODBYE... OLD LIFE”s. And the outro turns fragile. Moreover, the performance feels lifeless and the duo lacks chemistry. They stand on a spinning platform, while the camera stays fixed on them. Mia also sneaks into the frame during Dion's verse. And the screen goes blinding white at one point. The lyrics are about the pair deciding to escape their depression together. Dion no longer finds joy in his repetitive life, while Mia has lost her faith and is waiting for a saviour. They aren't good at being vulnerable either. They cope by chasing highs and wasting the days away. And they're scared of falling behind in life. But they decide to make a change at the end. It's a nice message.

✓ Finland: Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha It's time to review this juggernaut! This will probably be the definitive ESC entry of the '20s. The song packs an incredible amount of energy. It's perfect for a gym workout or a boss fight or a boxing match. It gets me hyped. It opens with a hyper, squirmy, creeping synth that continues through the verses, which insert a beeping synth hook after Käärijä grunts each line. Then the chorus unleashes the raging guitars, while the audience shouts “CHA CHACHA CH-CHA CHA CHA”. That chorus is an adrenaline rush and I like how it holds off at the start. The melody changes course halfway through verse 2. Then the song eventually switches genres to pop. The bridge takes a rest until the claps build up. And there's an explosive outro with pyro. The staging is super memorable, particularly Käärijä's green bolero and bowl cut. He starts trapped inside a wooden crate, where he punches a few holes, as lights flash behind him. Then he escapes via the roof. Once he's on top, the LED shows his shadow with a snake tongue. Then four tethered dancers dressed in pink emerge from the crate. Then Käärijä runs around the crate. He lays on a pallet seductively. He does a funny sideways walk. And he rides the dancers like a worm. The lyrics are about Käärijä getting drunk at a bar after an exhausting week because the booze alleviates his anxiety. His vocals aren't the best though.

My Ranking:

01. Finland: Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha ✓ 02. Sweden: Loreen - Tattoo ✓ 03. Moldova: Pasha Parfeni - Soarele și luna ✓ 04. Portugal: Mimicat - Ai coração ✓ 05. Norway: Alessandra - Queen of Kings ✓ 06. Serbia: Luke Black - Samo mi se spava ✓ 07. Latvia: Sudden Lights - Aijā 08. Czechia: Vesna - My Sister's Crown ✓ 09. Malta: The Busker - Dance (Our Own Party) 10. Switzerland: Remo Forrer - Watergun ✓

Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off They were screwed by being the opener. This is the 4th time that a SF2 closer opens the final.

Romania: Wrs - Llámame And now two of my favourites were screwed by the running order.

Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade

Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel

Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry

France: Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn France shockingly sends something experimental, but since it flopped, they'll never do that again. The song mixes folk and EDM and it incorporates the Breton language. It reminds me of “Shum”, but the performance feels “off”. The camera work is confusing. Ahez's vocals are too shout-y. Their slow walking looks odd. And the dancer seems random. The witchy green colours, the firepits, and the wide aspect ratio create a cool setting though. And I like Alvin's energy (even if his dancing isn't great). He also plays 3 instruments. The lyrics are about a mystical woman who dances with devil in the forest at night, saying it's no big deal. They also use nature and fire imagery. I think it's a metaphor for liberation. The song has an interesting sound, but it kinda makes me feel uneasy? It opens with a slam, a vocal chant, and a low, vibrating instrument. Then the first verse firmly marches forward. There's an “eeeee-YAH!” shout, followed by some ominous harmonies. Then, after a pause, the EDM beat drops, which sounds like it's fighting against its restraints. The second verse sees the audio skip a couple times. Then there's a percussion breakdown and a “lalalalalalaleno” build-up. And the final beat drop adds a traditional guitar.

Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf a Banana

Armenia: Rosa Linn - Snap

Italy: Mahmood & Blanco - Brividi Mahmood didn't wait long to return and he's brought a friend! The live vocals are rough, but the melody is strong and the orchestra is beautiful. The staging feels like an afterthought though. It begins with the spotlight on Mahmood, then Blanco excitedly walks out and he stands on top of a piano. He also wears a glittery outfit. The performance focuses on their interactions, which seem queer coded, especially when Blanco shoves Mahmood. The lyrics are about their relationship falling apart because they never express their feelings. So now they feel desperate, scared, and vulnerable. They admit it's their fault. Mahmood says sex isn't the answer. And Blanco lists his partner's flaws that he appreciates. He also vents in the bridge. The audience knows every word to this. The song has a patient pacing, which allows the heartbreak to unfold naturally. It begins with Mahmood singing a cappella, until a subtle piano appears. Then the chorus radiates, where the falsetto notes add fragility, and the “E pagherei...” bit jumps out. Blanco's verse adds collapsing drums; then the strings grow, the next chorus is more grand, the bridge intensifies (with flashing lights), and Mahmood's voice (painfully) rises. Then the tension subsides and the song ends softly. I like the duo's back-and-forth in this.

Spain: Chanel - SloMo We have a new “Fuego”! The choreo is highly impressive here. The opening shot displays everyone's silhouettes, as Chanel emerges from behind. Then her leg gets stretched out. The chorus involves some “ok” hand signs, some slo-mo dancing with flashing lights (which looks incredible btw – it creates a sweaty nightclub aesthetic), and some butt shakes. Then she gets lifted up. She eats up the dance break. She whips out a fan. And the pyro erupts at the end. The group also wear bedazzled Spanish outfits. It's a very fierce performance and Chanel has so much confidence and charisma. The song was clearly designed for the choreo, but it's catchy and it sounds Spanish. The “-oom -oom” rhymes, and the “señora' y señore'”, “TAKE A VIDEO WATCH IT SLO MO”, and “booty hypnotic” hooks stand out. The intro uses Spanish horns and high heel clacks. Then, after Chanel commands “let's go!”, the verses are frenetic. Then the clappy pre-chorus pulls back, until the chorus injects a twisting beat. I like that chorus drop! The second verse ends with some “pa-pa-pa-pa” bangs. Then the dance break is percussion-heavy and dramatic. While the bridge reduces to a heartbeat, where Chanel gives a vocal run. And the final chorus is a chaotic showdown. The lyrics utilize catchy nonsense phrases, while Chanel assets her seductive power over the men at this party. This became Spain's best result since 1995!

Netherlands: S10 - De diepte I'm amazed this still placed 11th despite being sandwiched between Spain and Ukraine.

Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania (winner review below)

Germany: Malik Harris - Rockstars Another last place for Germany. They had no chance following Ukraine. Malik gives a heartfelt and passionate performance, and his rapping is fine (although his flow sounds like Eminem), but the chorus is too plain and generic. Still, I don't think this deserved last. The song has a nostalgic vibe and the sepia camera filter matches this. It begins as a piano ballad. Then the rap verses add a trap beat. The second chorus recedes into an acoustic guitar and strings before the trap beat returns. Then, in the second verse, Malik's rap gets more angry and intense as it goes, until he pauses for a breather. Then the last chorus is fuller, where he angrily screams “DIDN'T WE?” And the outro quiets down. The lyrics are about him missing the past, when life seemed so much better. Malik remarks how time moves so fast and that you never realize you're in the “good old days” until they're over. He used to be carefree, but now he sounds depressed, worried, self-conscious, and afraid of failure. And he wishes he could be someone else, but he says everyone experiences this feeling. It's relatable. On stage, Malik performs inside a circle of various instruments, like a home recording studio, while the camera spins around him and the intense rap part uses flashing lights.

Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai

Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade to Black

Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You

Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together

Iceland: Systur - Með hækkandi sól

Moldova: Zdob și Zdub & Advahov Brothers - Trenulețul Moldova really benefited by being surrounded by ballads and midtempos.

Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer

Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not the Same He gives an emotional performance, but I still find the song boring.

United Kingdom: Sam Ryder - Space Man The UK finally stopped flopping! They earn their 16th silver medal and their best result since 1998! However, this will only be a fluke. Sam gives everything he possibly can in his performance. He strains his vocals into screaming all over the song. He brings solid stage presence. He laughs at one point. And he gives rockstar energy when he unleashes a guitar solo. But I don't care for the song by itself. The chorus production is too dense. The “I'M UP IN SPACE MAN” falsetto hook is annoying. And the lyrics, the rocket sound effects, and the “space... man” pun are corny. The song starts a cappella, until some light twinkles and plucks appear. Then, after that rocket launch, the drums arrive to drive the chorus. The chorus stumbles upon “nothing but space... man”. Then the second verse has drums and twinkles. The the bridge continues the chorus atmosphere until things quiet down to set up the final chorus. And, after that guitar solo, the outro turns soft. The lyrics are about Sam leaving Earth to escape his problems, but there's literally nothing up there so he wants to return back home. On stage, he's surrounded by 3 scaffolding towers that later come down. There's also dark lighting at the start, some 4-pointed lights that resemble stars, and flashing lights for the guitar solo.

Poland: Ochman - River

Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano

Estonia Stefan - Hope

The Winner:

Ukraine earns their 3rd victory, and it hasn't been that long since their 2nd. They also obliterate the televote record, which may never be broken again, and their jury score was pretty reasonable too. This is a divisive winner due to the circumstances. Would Ukraine have won without the war? Maybe not, but I think they still would've been top 5. The song easily stands out amongst everything else this year and the band give a great performance. It's not my winner, but I think it's a good entry. So I don't mind “Stefania” winning. Eurovision has always been political anyways.

I should mention that “Stefania” didn't actually win Vidbir. That was Alina Pash's “Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors”, but she was later DQ'ed. Now that song is very powerful and it might've been my winner. I think it could've won the juries too.

But back to the song at hand. “Stefania” mixes traditional folk and modern dance. The song begins a cappella, with the band chanting the chorus, while the instrumental eventually subtly appears. Then it suddenly jumps into a pretty solid rap verse. I like the quick rapping and the emphasis on the “-ooti” and “-iku” rhymes. The pre-chorus is a spinning/swinging “Lyuli lyuli lyuli” chant, where the beat diminishes to a few string plucks. Then the chorus brings the beat back. While the post-chorus is an infectious flute break, alongside a squirmy, woodsy instrument. Later on, the bridge becomes a clapping breakdown. And the final flute break is longer and it heightens in the middle of it. The song sounds like nature, it has a distinct instrumental, it's pretty catchy, and the chorus is sung with emotion.

The lyrics are a dedication to their mother Stefania. The narrator notices she's getting older. They ask her to sing a lullaby to hear her native language again (“Lyuli, lyuli, lyuli” is that lullaby). They recall how she took care of them, taught them music, and gave them fortitude. They promise to always return home, no matter how difficult the journey is. They insist they don't need her financial help anymore. And they want to show their appreciation while she's still here. The rap lyrics don't translate very well, but I think that's gist of it. The lyrics could also be interpreted to be about Ukraine itself.

The staging stands out too. The group wears traditional clothing. The rapper has a memorable pink hat. Ihor, the flautist from Go_A, holds his flute in a quirky way. There's a masked breakdancer. And there's two guys wearing colourful, rope-like fringe that they shake around. Meanwhile, the opening shot shows the group standing still in a line. The pre-chorus involves them swinging like pendulums, while the stage turns dark and the floor “reflects” their shadows. And the LED displays crying eyes; plus two open palms on the floor.

Winner rank: top of “B” Tier

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off 02. Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer 03. Netherlands: S10 - De diepte 04. Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai 05. Spain: Chanel - SloMo 06. Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano 07. Romania: Wrs - Llámame 08. Poland: Ochman - River 09. Estonia: Stefan - Hope 10. Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania

11. Italy: Mahmood & Blanco - Brividi 12. Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together 13. Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf a Banana 14. Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You 15. Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade to Black 16. France: Alvan & Ahez - Fulenn 17. Iceland: Systur - Með hækkandi sól 18. Germany: Malik Harris - Rockstars 19. Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade 20. Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel 21. United Kingdom: Sam Ryder - Space Man 22. Armenia: Rosa Linn - Snap 23. Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not the Same 24. Moldova: Zdob și Zdub & Advahov Brothers - Trenulețul 25. Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry

✓ Finland: The Rasmus - Jezebel Finland had a big comeback with a rock song last year... so they sent another one. They selected the band known for their 2003 banger “In the Shadows”. But “Jezebel” isn't as good. I just don't care for the subject matter. The lyrics describe this woman who becomes a dangerous, violent dominatrix at night. She has a spell over them. She's the hunter and he's the prey. But I'm not sure if using the Biblical term “Jezebel” was necessary. The song has good energy though and the repetitive “Jezebel” shouts are catchy. The intro hops around, with a staticky electric guitar and drum kicks. Those drums relent in the pre-chorus, then the chorus rocks out. I find the chorus effective in how it heightens the energy. The second verse adds a string unravel, an (unnecessary) tiger growl, and a whiplash. Then there's a guitar solo with flashing lights. The bridge sets up the final chorus well, where it bangs and stops, and the audience yells the title. And the outro is a drum rush. The staging has a black and yellow aesthetic, like a bee. The opening shot is an “It” reference, where the singer menacingly holds a balloon. Then he releases it and joins the rest of his band. He also wanders around an array of giant balloons. He later goes shirtless. And he leans against the guitarist, who has a cool presence.

× Israel: Michael Ben David - I.M This song is ass and MBD's antics in the Green Room make me like it even less. It's an overproduced house track full of overdramatic slams. The intro inserts a church organ. The “drop” throws in bass alarms and an annoying AF flute whistle. He raps the second verse, with overly loud backing vocals. And the traditional instrument break feels like one too many ideas. Meanwhile, the performance focuses on showing off the choreo and MBD's vocals. The overhead arm waves are lame though. He also starts in a hall of mirrors. There's just too much going on here. The song also sounds like Drag Race music – there's even a “take the crown” line. But Drag Race music is fun and camp; this is just trying too hard to impress us. Also, the lyrics are supposed to be a self-empowerment message, but he sounds arrogant and self-absorbed.

✓ Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano This is one of my favourite “WTF” entries. I find it hypnotic and mysterious. The odd melody grabs my curiosity, “biti-biti-biti-biti zdrava” is an unforgettable hook, the hand-clapping and hand-twists are iconic, and the lyrics are actually political. It's about how artists don't qualify for health insurance. The Meghan Markle mention throws me off though lol. Konstrakta says that looking beautiful hinges on your physical health. She's thankful for the automatic nervous system. And she mentions how mental health is invisible. On stage, she sits in a chair, washes her hands (it was pandemic times), and lifts her leg up. She's surrounded by 5 serious-looking people who appear to be performing a ritual. They dry her hands off and twirl their towels. There's also lyrics on screen and red lighting during the bridge. The song opens with a Latin phrase played in reverse. Then the drum kicks drive things. The beat also pauses several times throughout. The first verse starts anxious, with the sawing strings. Then the broken rattles and background “hey hey”s appear. While the chorus invites the audience to clap along. There's a long wait for the second chorus though. The second verse has a clap break in the middle. The song heightens before the bridge, which drifts off to a hazy countryside. And the outro is an anxiety rush.

✓ Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli - Fade to Black This is an artistic performance, but also kinda pretentious. Nadir looks disheveled – like he hasn't taken care of himself lately – while he sits on some bleachers. He also lies down and moves about, while a dancer mirrors him. Eventually, the bleachers split in half, separating the two of them, which is symbolism. There's also dark lighting, split screens, and literal “fades to black”. The song gives me “Arcade” vibes. It has a very depressing atmosphere. I like how it keeps expanding and shrinking though. It starts as a cold, sombre piano ballad. Then the piano smoothly increases, until the chorus turns fragile. Then the “nu-U-u-U-umb” bit intensifies. From there, the orchestral instrumental builds, before recoiling into another fragile chorus. Then the climax surges, the drums finally arrive to add an anxious feeling of running away, and Nadir delivers a big note. And the outro returns to fragility. He gives a heartbreaking, tearful performance and I like when he projects his raspy voice. But this entry feels a bit... calculated? The lyrics are about Nadir's pain fading into numb nothingness after watching his lover walk out the door. He begs them to stay. He swears he'll fix things. And he sounds broken.

× Georgia: Circus Mircus - Lock Me In Georgia are known for sending weird entries, but this is just weird for the sake of being weird. The band brings quirky accessories, including a flower beard, opaque goggles, a crank box (which has a puppet band inside it), and a black mask. The frontman's arm movements are kinda quirky too. And the LED shows a clown face and some terrifying mouths. The song is also structurally and melodically weird. It has 3 distinct sections. The first part involves a guitar entering and leaving, some wood clicks, and (eventually) some drums, while the band basically bark instructions at us. Then the pre-chorus has this tiny vocal that goes in circles, with some “right now”s to break it up. And, after a takeoff sound, the chorus erupts into this 'd-da-da-D-DA-DA; d-da-da-D-DA-DA; DA-DUH-DA-DA' melody. There's also a glitchy instrumental break and “CIRCUS MIRCUS” shouts. Plus some crowd cheers at the end. It doesn't quite reach guilty pleasure territory though. The lyrics are meaningless. What does “love me sideways” even mean? They also repeat certain phrases over and over. But there's a space theme I guess?

× Malta: Emma Muscat - I Am What I Am I wish Emma kept “Out of Sight”. This just sounds like a Mello reject (and unsurprisingly, this was written by Mello songwriters). It's a super generic song with super generic lyrics. It's a self-empowerment anthem where Emma is determined and defiant to be herself. She's resilient. And she silences her inner critic. But the “I am what I am!” declaration is meaningless. And the song is just uninspired, uninteresting, and kinda childish. The piano intro reminds me of Bruce Hornsby's “The Way It Is”. The first verse adds some soulful hums and finger snaps to it. Then the pre-chorus opens up to build anticipation, which leads to the chorus barreling through afterwards. After that, the second verse adds tongue clicks. And he bridge reduces to a clap breakdown, where the beat builds and stops in the middle of it. The soulful backing vocals are nice at least. The staging is nothing crazy. Emma plays the piano at first, then she stands on top of it like she's bravely standing atop a mountain. Then she's joined by some dancers on the outer stage at the end. And there's a pyro blast upon the final chorus. It seems like they were trying to involve the audience in this one.

× San Marino: Achille Lauro - Stripper San Marino is now scooping up rejects from other NF's, since Achille competed in Sanremo earlier this year. His ESC entry is an unrefined, sleazy '70s rock track. I've seen critiques that it copies Måneskin. But my issue is that the song doesn't stand out enough – the “all I need is love” hook is just okay. It has some attitude, but I'm indifferent towards it. The intro is restless, with a twiddling guitar and some drum stomps. Then the verses relentlessly pound until the pre-chorus returns to restlessness. Then, after a drum rumble, the chorus turns into a raucous chant. In verse 2, the song stops for the “Personal Jesus” line. And the bridge is similar to the pre-chorus, except it leads to a fiery guitar solo. The staging is overdone. There's clawing hands on a red LED board at the start. There's two musicians inside cages. Achille gropes, humps, and kisses the guitarist. There's a silhouette effect during that kiss. The pyro is excessive. He rides a mechanical bull at the climax. And the guitarist falls onto his back for his solo. The stage background fits the song's aesthetic though. The lyrics are about Achille's self-ashamed desire to dress like a female stripper, mixed with a bunch of pop culture references. He just needs to be loved for who he is. It's also about his sexual desires, but the verses don't make much sense.

✓ Australia: Sheldon Riley - Not the Same Sheldon talks about how having Asperger's and questioning his sexuality made him experience a different childhood from everyone else. He remembers struggling to talk to the other kids. They didn't share the same interests. He felt ostracized. And he hid his pain inside. But then the bridge offers a hopeful message of accepting your differences. The staging reflects Sheldon's journey, where he wears a bejeweled mask that he dramatically discards at the climax, along with genderfluid clothing. But I find the mask symbolism too obvious. The stage also includes two moving staircases that he later ascends. And there's dark lighting, heavy mist, flashing spotlights, and a lightning effect. Sheldon serves vocals and conveys emotional distress here. I like the song's message as well. But him shouting “I'M NOT THE SAAAAAME” is annoying and the song is just boring. The composition is too stiff. It starts as a lonely piano ballad. Then some light strings appear, until the first chorus retreats. The second verse adds a ticking clock and footsteps. Then the orchestra expands and intensifies through the second chorus and bridge. That bridge is where he vents. It leads to a drum roll for the unmasking, then the tension snaps into silence and rises again for the ending.

× Cyprus: Andromache - Ela Cyprus switches things up by sending an ethnic-pop song... but Andromache's flat live vocals hindered it. The song gives the vibe of escaping to a warm Mediterranean paradise. It's a cute love song with an enjoyable chorus, but it's missing something for me. The intro involves a traditional guitar and underwater vocals. Then the verses brightly bubble, with tin drums (and flute in second one). The pre-chorus has a clappy build-up. Then, after a crash down, the chorus dominates the space. I like the double claps at the end of it. There's also a dreamy “ah-uh” post-chorus. And the bridge submerges into vocal chants. The lyrics aren't the deepest, but they're cute. Andromache invites her love interest to embrace her, saying they'll be happy together. And that it'll be the remedy for her pain. She also describes the sensations this person gives her. On stage, Andromache is accompanied by two dancers on this large seashell structure that reflects their shadows, along with a watery light projected onto them. I like her interactions with the dancers. Although her hip shakes are half-hearted. Otherwise, the opening shot is darkly lit, there's also a bubble filter moment, and the camera zooms out during the first crash down.

× Ireland: Brooke - That's Rich This composition scratches an itch in my brain. I find it so satisfying. Plus “THAT'S RICH!” and “OW! bye bye boo” are great hooks. It's not a competitive entry for Eurovision though. And Brooke's live vocals aren't the best. Still, I like this mix of new wave and late-'00s pop. The song starts off bouncy, with the guitar and foot taps, then a bubbly synth appears. The pre-chorus smooths things out. Then, after a pause, the chorus saturates the bouncy, throbbing beat. While the post-chorus synth reminds me of Lady Gaga's “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich”. Also, verse 2 adds a rubbery squeak and backing “ahh”. And the bridge is a bratty moment that bursts into some “NOW YOU WANT ME”s. In the lyrics, Brooke is sick of this self-absorbed guy who keeps calling her and sending her flowers. She rejects him, and he disparages her for it, so she retorts “that's rich”, which is an idiom for a hypocrite. She calls him a lazy lover. And she says he only wants her after her glow-up. The staging is average. The intro is a light show. Then Brooke and the dancers lie down on a heart image at the start. I like their choreo during the second verse though. Brooke uses some hand gestures too, but she seems kinda nervous? Otherwise, there's pyro at the climax and the stage uses purple and pink colours.

× North Macedonia: Andrea - Circles NM's last appearance... for now. The song is mid, but Andrea's honest, passionate, down-to-Earth performance elevates it. The song begins as a calm piano ballad, where she sings the verses like slam poetry, which is cool. The “circles, circles, circles” bit intensifies a little with the backing vocals. Then the instrumental radiates for the rest of the song, while the first chorus introduces a trappy beat. The chorus also sputters. And there's a beat acceleration before the second chorus. But the bridge build-up could've been better. The chorus melody isn't my fave either, but she injects passion into it. “You don't wanna test my limits” sticks with me. In the song, Andrea wants to calmly communicate with her partner to fix their relationship. They've been repeating the same cycle over and over. But the effort isn't mutual – her partner isn't listening and they're testing her limits. So she decides it isn't worth it anymore. I like how she shares her thought process. The staging is simple (where Andrea is completely alone), but that's what this song requires. It starts darkly lit, while the camera zooms in on her. Then the lights turn blue. The camera also circles around her. The floor cracks open, creating a sinkhole beneath her. There's two LED panels showing handprints. And there's flashing lights for the build-ups.

✓ Estonia: Stefan - Hope Estonia selects a country western song that transports me to the wild west. The first verse is like a cowboy duel – there's a drum roll intro, a twangy guitar, whistles, hums, and deep vocals. I also like the 'do.. do-do-do' guitar riff. Then the first two choruses open up, but in a restrained way. The first one also ends prematurely to delay the payoff. Instead, it cuts to the second verse, which gallops like a horse, with a “HEY” shout and slicing sounds. Then the payoff finally arrives with the repetitive “I HOPE” post-chorus that jumps around. And the bridge returns to the first verse. That delayed payoff trick is effective. Also, the song is catchy (“I SAID HEEEEY”!) and has good energy. Plus the staging creates a western film aesthetic via the tinted filter, and with the closing horizontal bars at the end. The tilted camera angles during the bridge are unnecessary though. Otherwise, Stefan gives a joyful performance and he invites the audience to sing along. He also plays the guitar. And he begins on the outer stage, then he walks to the main stage, then he excitedly jumps back the outer stage. The lyrics offer a hopeful message of taking control of your future: To ignore those who discourage our dreams. To fight for what matters. To live with pride. And to be true to ourselves.

✓ Romania: Wrs - Llámame This has grown on me a lot since 2022. This dark synthpop production is alluring. Plus “HOLA, MI BEBÉ-BÉ” is an infectious hook, the Spanish guitar breaks are great, and Wrs's performance brings it to life. The instrumental starts low-key, creating a quiet nighttime vibe. Then the pre-chorus bass throbs. There's a pause, then the chorus chops along with a droopy bass, as the audience claps along; and the Spanish guitar hook follows. The second verse has a slapping beat that enters and leaves. The bridge reduces to a tin drum breakdown, leading to the beat building and pausing. And Wrs throws in some “HEY” shouts towards the end. The chorus works really well and the song has a romantically enticing vibe. The lyrics describe a secret taboo relationship, presumably a gay one. Wrs's lover is scared that other people will disapprove if they find out about them. But Wrs isn't scared. He says love is unstoppable. And he gives his lover reassurance and hopes they won't leave. The performance begins with two separate dancers moving in dark lighting. Then Wrs does some fun choreo with the dancers, especially during the instrumental breaks. He has solid stage presence too and his outfit gives me bullfighter vibes. They even rip his outer shirt off at the climax. There's also lyrics on the floor.

✓ Poland: Ochman - River Poland goes overboard with the visual effects. There's a rainfall animation, water splashes on the floor, raindrops hitting the camera lens, and a thunderstorm shaking the camera (this one is sensory overload). There's also excessive flashing lights, Ochman's face plastered on the LED, and random dancers covered in tattered fringe. The staging is too much, but at least the dark lighting works. I still love the song though. The chorus is addictive in how it speeds off in a different direction (“BURY ALL MY THINGS!”) And I often enjoy dramatic ballads. The song opens with a piano, stormy sounds, and a slam. That piano subsides in the first verse. Then, after a thunder roll, the chorus rattles and snaps. While the post-chorus releases some “ahhhh”s. Then the second verse returns to the intro, before it switches to drums and strings. The bridge uses tense strings, while Ochman wails “RIIIVEERRR!” And the outro quiets down. The lyrics are vague, where Ochman lets this metaphorical river carry him away to escape his guilt and shame I guess? Maybe he's punishing himself and/or cleansing his soul? He also says wielding power comes with too much responsibility. He doesn't elaborate though.

× Montenegro: Vladana - Breathe This is an epic and dramatic ballad with a personal meaning, but the staging just doesn't bring it to life. It also gets lost in the running order. The song is about Vladana's mother dying from covid. She sounds really angry about it. She chastises anyone who didn't take the pandemic seriously. Their selfish actions allowed the virus spread further, resulting in more lives being put in danger. She also mentally processes her loss. The song opens with a solemn piano and soft backing vocals, then the first verse goes quiet. The instrumental grows a little after that. Then the first chorus is restrained, ending with nice backing vocals. The second verse adds a guitar and furious drums. Those drums pause in the next pre-chorus. Then the later choruses balloon, where Vladana's rage intensifies as they progress. The bridge cools off and switches to Italian. And the final build-up is epic, where she pauses to breathe. She also gasps for air and cries in the outro. It's a very intense song and Vladana sings with passion. But the performance is too static – she just stands on the outer stage with a giant circular fan on her back. It does light up though. Otherwise, the stage is blue and darkly lit. Her silhouette is shown at the start. And there's a collage of faces on the LED (are these covid victims?)

✓ Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You Belgium sends something polished and professional. It's a cool song, plus Jérémie is charismatic, expressive, and comfortable on stage. But it's *too* polished. I can see why the public didn't connect to it. I still like it though. After the cinematic strings intro, the song starts as an easygoing piano ballad. Then the production changes in the second verse, with the bass hums and clacks; followed by some broken rattles and cello in the pre-chorus. While the later choruses use a trap beat and prominent backing vocals. The bridge intensifies with drum booms and soulful backing, leading to a deep-voiced “miss you” + a double stomp. Then Jérémie sings over some backing “ahh-uhh-ahh”s. Then the outro softens and he ends on a big note. I like Jérémie's vocal strains here. The staging is a bit basic though. He starts alone on a blue and black stage. Then he's joined by 4 dancers wearing jackets. I like the kick and hip sway moves. In the lyrics, Jérémie wants to forget about his ex and move on. But he's been acting inconsistent. Somedays he's fine, but other days he feels lonely, gets drunk, and desperately accepts his ex's call. He sounds determined to stop this though. He says he won't hate his ex, but he won't chase after them either.

✓ Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer Sweden are polished and professional as usual, but Cornelia gives a raw and heartfelt performance. Her fractured vocal adds vulnerability. Plus the melody is strong, “so baby bye, bye” is catchy, and I like the way the song builds. It's the best ballad this year. It begins with comforting strings. Then the first chorus radiates in a restrained way to build anticipation. Next, the second verse awakens with the drum kicks and the dark, burbling synth. Then the later choruses explode. The bridge extends the chorus until it cools down, then the drums escalate into the finale. And the outro is a release of “hold tight”s. In the lyrics, Cornelia processes and copes with her lover leaving her. She takes a mature perspective here. She says there's no need for apologies or regrets. She wishes them the best. She wishes it was easier to let go. She figures the relationship moved too fast and her partner got scared. And she surmises that they found the right one at the wrong time. But Cornelia is also a wreck – she wants to be held one last time until sunrise, although she doesn't burden them with her pain. The staging centers around this green circle prop behind Cornelia, which turns red later on. She sits down at first to show her vulnerability. Then she arches over on beat. She leans against the circle. There's pyro for the final chorus transition. And she pushes the circle towards the end.

I'm so glad “Bigger than the Universe” didn't win Mello 2022.

✓ Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off Well, I did say I love EDM, and this song fully indulges itself in that genre! It sounds current and not like a typical Eurovision entry. The production consumes the entire arena. And I love the dark atmosphere. The song begins with a murmuring, grinding synth. Then a subtle guitar appears, the beat accelerates, there's a pause, and the slap bass drops. Once the “WHERE ARE YOU NOW”s reach a breaking point, there's an instrumental break filled with squeals and moans. Then the second pre-chorus adds bouncy slaps. There's a moment when the song and stage lights shut off. And the bridge cools off before the percussion builds up and Dominika unleashes a big note. The constant “where are you now” and “try changing...” hooks are so catchy. In the song, Dominika has tried changing various things in her life to feel better, but she still longs for this person. She's lost herself and made every mistake. She convinces herself she's strong. But she keeps asking where did they go. Since it's an energetic song, it has a hopeful vibe. Also, I don't think I've heard the word “peripheral” used in song lyrics before lol. The staging includes a DJ set, vandalized sculptures on the LED, a guy bowing his guitar, a crazy amount of flashing lights, and a background zoom-out effect. I think Dominika matches the song's energy as well.

My Ranking:

01. Czech Republic: We Are Domi - Lights Off ✓ 02. Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer ✓ 03. Serbia: Konstrakta - In corpore sano ✓ 04. Romania: Wrs - Llámame ✓ 05. Poland: Ochman - River ✓ 06. Estonia: Stefan - Hope ✓ 07. Ireland: Brooke - That's Rich 08. Montenegro: Vladana - Breathe 09. Belgium: Jérémie Makiese - Miss You ✓ 10. North Macedonia: Andrea - Circles

× Albania: Ronela Hajati - Sekret This is a wild choice to be the first impression of 2022. The overtly sexual staging is just too much for Eurovision: the grinding, the crotch-grabs, the butt-pats, Ronela's lingerie outfit, and her shoving the dancer to the floor. I also blame Italy for the loud smoke puffs. The hair-copter spin is iconic though and some of the group choreo is decent. The opening scene is kinda cool too. It's a shame because the song is a banger. I love its super intense fierce attitude and the traditional instruments; plus the contrast between the yearning chorus and the VERY combative verses is quite effective. The intro creates hype – it starts subdued with a choir, then the traditional horns and demanding drum bangs enter (plus a crow caw), leading to an intense “He-E-e-E-e-EY!” Then the verse grinds and kicks, as it projects attitude. While the chorus eases off, with lighter kicks. The post-chorus changes the mood by slamming down in your face. There's an instrumental break and a “ma kalon” breakdown. And the next “HEYYY!” escalation is sung over the backing vocal. The lyrics are flirtatious, where Ronela is in control. She describes this secret, steamy, hot encounter that she won't regret. She invites this guy to touch her and her “whining” drives him crazy. But he left her for someone else.

× Latvia: Citi Zēni - Eat Your Salad One of Latvia's many NQ's. The “veggies and pu**y” line is a meme and a “WTF” moment. They couldn't say that word at Eurovision, so the audience yells it instead. But that joke happens in the first 10 seconds and the song is just annoying, overexcited, and boisterous. It does have a funky '70s vibe though; with some rapping. The stomping horn intro is like a retro TV show theme song. Then the beat stops for the opening line. The first verse intensifies and halts a few times (with a bicycle ding), then it moves without obstruction. I like the pre-chorus tumble. There's a group chant, then the chorus uses backing echo hooks – that chorus irks me though. The second verse is funkier. There's a sax break. And the bridge minimizes things before jumping into some “na na na”s. The lyrics promote environmentalism by going vegan, recycling, and biking... with some sexual food innuendos. It's not meant to be taken seriously. I find the staging overstimulating. The band is bursting with energy – they hip-thrust, the lead singer blows a kiss and leapfrogs, and one guy does the splits. They each wear different colours. The camera work when they walk around is dizzying. The saxophonist is shown in a blinding white light. And the explosions of words and fruit on the LED floor is too much.

✓ Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai This is such a hypnotic, alluring, and strange song. It really grabs my curiosity. It also has a nostalgic vibe – like visiting an '80s Soviet night lounge. And Monika is a charismatic performer. She gives a simple performance but it's still engaging to watch. She stands in one spot and uses facial expressions, arm movements, and little body squirms. She also points and blows a kiss. Plus the flickering lights, which resemble 4-pointed stars, and the mirrored-split screens add to the atmosphere. And I like how Monika makes certain words stand out – like the “tu... tai tu... tai tu” bit or the “toli... TOOOLI” transition. The song starts minimalist, with an intriguing, anticipatory, singular bouncy beat, which the audience claps along to. Then the chorus relaxes with a few quirky sounds. It's a cozy chorus. There's a post-chorus vocal chant. Then the second verse adds a burbling bass. And there's a “la da da” outro. It's a squirmy song. In the lyrics, Monika longs for and reminisces over a past lover who's never coming back. They laugh at her tears. Her head is spinning from the memories. And she uses some nature metaphors.

✓ Switzerland: Marius Bear - Boys Do Cry Switzerland sends another “sad boy” ballad. This one sounds like a charity advert. It has a very soft texture – it feels like a giant teddy bear hug. But it's overly sentimental and tediously slow. Indeed, there's not that many lyrics. The message is obvious from the title. Marius dismisses gender norms where boys need to act tough and not show emotions. It's a actually mask because they hide their emotions. But the chorus uses cliché metaphors. I also dislike the warbled “oh oh”s. I don't mind the humming intro though. The song starts as an old-fashioned piano ballad. Then the strings and light drum footsteps arrive during the second verse. There's a thunder roll transition and a slight woodwind(?) at the climax. And the song softens at the end. Marius gives an emotional performance I guess, but the staging is cringe. It involves a projection screen on a foggy light that shows the silhouette of a boy playing with a paper plane and a kite. There's also a broken heart image projected on Marius's face (and on the LED floor). And a paper ball explosion effect. Meanwhile, he keeps opening his arms like an airplane. He also shoves the mic stand aside. Note: the semi-final performance was completely pitch black at the start by mistake.

× Slovenia: LPS - Disko This is an “okay” entry. It's a pleasant and inoffensive song, but too forgettable and bland to qualify. It just fades into the background and lacks a hook. The band also comes off as amateur. The lead singer looks especially awkward. But it's charming. They sway side-to-side and freeze during the intro. And the keyboardist has charisma. The staging includes a giant disco ball, where the drummer sits on a platform that towers above it. I get dizzy when the camera rotates around the disco ball though. I also dislike when it shows the same moving camera shot 3 times in a row. The song indeed sounds like '70s disco. It has plenty of horns and fidgety guitars, and it has a relaxing and chill mood. The intro starts and stops. Then the instrumental kinda powers up before the smooth pacing settles in. The verse stops for a second. There's a long instrumental break that drifts away, but it's kinda flat. And the bridge slows down into a tender ballad, before the last chorus resumes the tempo. In the lyrics, the narrator recalls dancing with his lover in the disco while LPS played (and he roasts his own band lol). But his lover left with someone else, so now they only dance together in his dreams and he goes to the disco alone. He misses them.

✓ Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania (winner review in Grand Final post)

× Bulgaria: Intelligent Music Project - Intention Bulgaria were on an incredible run since 2016, but it ends with… this. A result so bad they withdrew for 3 years. But Bulgaria's story won't end here! “Intention” is an '80s hair metal song (they even have long hair). I was expecting more rock entries after Måneskin won, but this pales in comparison to that. It's so empty and dated. The lyrics involve some self-reflecting. The singer has found freedom in moving on from the past. He was mentally distressed because he kept remembering his unspecified crime. And he questions if what he did was right. But he doesn't miss what he's lost. These lyrics are so vague that I don't know what he's referring to. The song opens with the electric guitar, followed by the drums. Then the first verse dials back into an antsy mood until the energy resumes. The pre-chorus diverges in a couple different directions. But the chorus is just generic and boring – it also stops a couple times. The bridge reduces to a drum breakdown for a breather. And there's a fiery guitar solo with a pyro frenzy, which is the best part. The staging starts with a split screen. Then there's excessive flashing lights. The singer tosses his hat and he leans against a guitarist. But the performance is not that eventful.

✓ Netherlands: S10 - De diepte “OOOOH-OOOOH! AAAAH-AAAAH!” That chorus hits hard. It's so atmospheric and epic – it captures the feeling of driving at night or plunging into the depths or letting go of everything holding you back. The song starts minimalist with just a folksy acoustic guitar. Then the “da da da” pre-chorus switches to a soft piano. This subdued start sets up the expansive chorus really well. Said chorus uses a deep guitar and claps. Then the second verse/pre-chorus adds percussion. The “nay nay nay” bridge is release that extends the chorus atmosphere. And the outro goes quiet. The guitar is a highlight. The lyrics are about one's life not working out as planned and fearing that things will never change. S10 has fallen into the emotional depths of despair and helplessness. She struggles to let go of someone who's left her. And she embarrassingly waits for them. The staging is too simple, but it doesn't ruin the song for me. S10 mostly stands still in dark lighting and she only moves during the bridge. The opening shot shows her standing in a misty, lit-up diamond. There's also a setting sun behind her later on. I like how the light beams open up during the “ooh, ahh”s though. And she gives a tearful performance. This is one of my favourite “last year's host” entries.

✓ Moldova: Zdob și Zdub & Advahov Brothers - Trenulețul 2022 lacked televote-friendly songs, so Moldova filled that void. It's a party song that sounds like something you'd hear in a Moldovan pub. It uses traditional instrumentals, the band wears unique outfits, and they deliver infectious joyful energy on stage. The way the drummer and the guitarist play their instruments is funny. Plus “Hey ho, let's go” is a memorable hook. However... I find this song annoying as hell. It's too rambunctious and chaotic; and that fiddle gets on my nerves. I liked their 2005 entry, but their other two not so much. At least the lyrics are fun. It's about taking the “little train” between the Moldovan and Romanian capitals, where the band can't tell the two countries apart because they're too similar; the dancing and music in particular. The song starts and ends in the rock 'n' roll genre, but the middle is folklore. The verses have a choppy, bouncy rap flow. The band also bounce on stage to the song's rhythm. There's a fiddle break after each chorus. There's a drum build-up moment. And there's a “bang-bang-bang” breakdown. But by the time long outro appears, it feels like this song goes on too long. This is when they move to the outer stage.

✓ Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade Yeah, this sounds like a Portugal entry. The song is very understated and relaxed. It's a little *too* minimalist, but there's just enough happening to keep me interested. It sounds nice. The verses are driven by this hazy, lingering, warped acoustic guitar. While the chorus inserts some flamenco clapping. The second verse switches to Portuguese; and it adds some percussion, until the beat stops halfway through it. The second chorus similarly pulls back for a moment halfway through. And the outro returns to the intro. It's a delicate song, the chorus is memorable, Maro sings from the heart, and the harmonies are a highlight. In the lyrics, she decides that “saudade” is the perfect word to describe her longing and heartbreak. And that's the gist of it. The staging definitely boosted this one. Maro and the 5 backing singers stand in a circle on the misty outer stage. It's like a support group of friends. They also clap together. And in the opening shot, the lighting is very dark while the camera circles around them.

× Croatia: Mia Dimšić - Guilty Pleasure Croatia's NQ streak continues. This one sounds like a track from Taylor Swift's “Folkmore” era. The melody and strings are fine, and the “GUESS the JOKE'S no LONGER funNY” hook is okay, but the song is too bland and ordinary. I don't really care about it. It begins as an intimate folk song with just an acoustic guitar. Then the pre-chorus adds some twitching strings. While the first chorus introduces the “kick-kick-clap” percussion. There's a daydream-y post-chorus about running away. Then the second verse ends with grand strings. The bridge turns Timbaland-esque before it goes soft. And Mia switches to Croatian at the end. In the lyrics, she dreams about a different man than the one she's married to, and she keeps it a secret. He's her “guilty pleasure”. Her husband sounds like a great guy, but he isn't enough for her. And she comments on how monogamy is expected. The stage is very dark at first, where Mia plays the guitar. Then 3 interpretive dancers play out a love rectangle, with Mia included. The dancers are quite serious and robotic, but they also float around. I like when she walks backwards in sync with them. There's also a dizzying camera spin moment. The Dora performance had just one dancer who was quite distracting. Actually, the ESC staging is kinda distracting too.

× Denmark: Reddi - The Show This sounds like an unpolished, underdeveloped demo; and the genre switch feels random. The entire first minute is a sophisticated (but generic) piano ballad. Then an antsy electric guitar appears out of nowhere and it suddenly becomes a fast-paced rock song. The pre-chorus (“if this is what I want”) is decent though. There's some drum speed-ups, a “Keep. Up. With. The. Show.” stutter hook, and a guitar solo. Then the bridge takes a very quick breather (I expected a key change here lol). The outro has a “1, 2, 3, 4” shout. And the song ends emphatically. The stage is darkly lit during the ballad section, where the singer plays the piano; the piano also shows her reflection. Then the stage lights up for the rock portion. This is when the band rocks out. The performance is fine but nothing special. The lyrics are about rebelling against conformity – which is the same topic “Zitti e buoni” covered, but this is less edgy. The narrator basically rubs her success in the face of this critic from her past. Their words used to affect her, but now she's unafraid to unapologetically be herself. There's a line that uses social media terms though, which I find cringy.

× Austria: Lum!x feat. Pia Maria - Halo Austria recruits Lum!x, who recently had two European hits with “Monster” and “Thunder”. Funnily enough, “Run to the Hills” from Mello 2022 sounds like the latter. High energy EDM usually underperforms at Eurovision, but it's right up my alley. Pia's poor live vocals were the bigger issue though. At least Lum!x seems excited – he keeps hyping the crowd up. The song starts by building anticipation. It opens with an emptier chorus, then the verses jitter and kick. The pre-chorus adds claps and a smoother melody. There's a beat acceleration, then the frantic, pulsating, heavy bass drops. The next pre-chorus introduces the drop earlier. And there's a “lalalalala” bridge that leads to a deep boom and clap breakdown. Also, “we can be CEO...”, “LET ME BE YOUR HALO”, and “and I'm stronger than angels...” are solid hooks. In the lyrics, Pia offers to be this person's saviour after they've experienced hardships. She says they can take control and that a man can easily swallow his pride. And there's some “heaven/hell/angels” (and Ancient Greece) metaphors. But it sounds like she's just saying words. The staging involves a DJ set surrounded by this giant halo structure that contains flashing ring lights. There's also smoke puffs and pyro... and too many audience shots.

✓ Iceland: Systur - Með hækkandi sól 2022 is the year of folk music. This melody catches my attention, and the instrumental transports me to the Wild West. But I get bored of it after repeated listens. The 3 sisters seem nervous on stage too. The synchronized sideways turns are cringe and their vocals are low energy. I see why this flopped in the final. I like the camera work though – there's an illusion of them standing single file and a 3-way split screen. Plus the dark orange lighting fits the Wild West vibe. The song sounds rustic. The verses contain an acoustic guitar, dry howls, and foot stomps. While the chorus switches to neutral drums and echoing harmonies. There's an instrumental break and a background “ooh”. Then the bridge ends on a pause and a long note. And the outro goes a cappella. The harmonies are nice and the “þei þei” and “svo hlý” asides are good hooks. The lyrics are about someone who suffers internally but doesn't show it. The narrator gives this person hope, saying the spring sun will melt her icy heart from the dark winter (and Icelandic winters are pretty dark). It's a metaphor for change. She'll find freedom and inner peace. I like the lyrics. The NF runner-up, “Turn This Around”, would've been an *interesting* choice.

✓ Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together This is definitely a jury song. The composition is a bit sterile, but it builds into an epic climax and Amanda nails the performance. The song begins minimalist, with just a muffled, distorted, Imogen Heap-like vocal effect. A subtle instrumental eventually appears, but then the first chorus is bare. The second verse inserts a heavy heartbeat and echoing percussion. Then the second chorus explodes with drums and strings. The bridge quiets until the “take my heart and rip it out” repetition intensifies. And the final chorus pauses for a big note. It's an overpowering chorus. The lyrics describe a relationship that's on the verge of ending. Amanda feels powerless to save things. It already feels like they're strangers. Everyone thinks they're doing great, but they're not. And she surmises that the only way for this relationship to last forever is if they die right now. Which is morbid. The staging begins with dark lighting and a close-up of Amanda's face. Then the camera zooms out to show a collection of chairs “melting” into the LED floor. She wanders around them. There's a silhouetted couple dancing on the LED. Then she kneels for the bridge, with intense hand movements. And she walks forward upon the final chorus and leans for the big note, which are both effective.

✓ Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf a Banana Norway selects a novelty entry. The song feels too calculated though. The duo reference “Little Red Riding Hood”, where they suggest feeding the wolf a banana to prevent him from eating grandma. I'm not sure that'll work on a carnivore. They also compliment the wolf and suggest names for him. Yeah, it's silly. The song is filled with hooks though – there's the “someone give that wolf a banana” chants, the “yum yum yum”s (which are meh), the “ooh woo ooh” wolf howls, the squeals, and the “BUH-NA-NUH” breakdown. It starts folksy, with an acoustic guitar, followed by some snaps. Then the chorus unleashes the slap bass beat with a hanging melody. While the “yum yum yum”s inject bass blares. This is mainly an EDM song. The second verse has boops and kicks. The bridge is a booming drum breakdown. The final chorus pulls back before the climax. And the outro returns to the intro. The staging definitely stands out; especially the outfits that use banana colours. The duo dress like businessmen with paper wolf masks on. They do a simple but memorable dance routine. There's also an astronaut DJ. There's a wavy filter moment. The breakdown involves flashing lights. And the climax unleashes the pyro. But the text on screen is really unnecessary.

✓ Armenia: Rosa Linn - Snap This went viral on TikTok despite placing 20th. It currently has 1.4 billion Spotify streams – almost as much as “Arcade”. That's insane. It's yet another folk song in 2022, but from the “stomp clap” genre. The verses contain an acoustic guitar and firm foot stomps. Then the pre-chorus eases off, until the chorus resumes the beat. Said chorus is powered by a big backing choir. The song stops upon “I might snap”. And later on, the bridge releases some “oh wah oh”s and bells; then it quiets down to set up the final chorus, where Rosa ad libs over the choir. The “snapping 1, 2... WHERE ARE YOU” and the elongated “hearRrRrRrRrt” hooks are memorable, but this song is tedious. It sounds too much like a campfire singalong. The staging is also too elaborate. Rosa performs inside a bedroom that's covered in blank white paper. She plays the guitar at first. Then she tears some paper off the walls to reveal lyrics underneath. And she rips open an exit for herself at the climax (which took two attempts in the semi). The camera also fades when the song stops. In the lyrics, Rosa really wants to stop thinking about her ex, but she can't. She's up all night and keeps writing songs about them. And she received bad advice to snap her fingers, so she turns this around by saying “I might snap”.

My Ranking:

01. Netherlands: S10 - De diepte ✓ 02. Lithuania: Monika Liu - Sentimentai ✓ 03. Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra - Stefania ✓ 04. Austria: Lum!x feat. Pia Maria - Halo 05. Albania: Ronela Hajati - Sekret 06. Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord - Die Together ✓ 07. Norway: Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf a Banana ✓ 08. Iceland: Systur - Með hækkandi sól ✓ 09. Portugal: Maro - Saudade, saudade ✓ 10. Slovenia: LPS - Disko

Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo The semi-final performance was better.

Albania: Anxhela Peristeri - Karma Albania is 2nd in the running order yet again.

Israel: Eden Alene - Set Me Free

Belgium: Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place

Russia: Manizha - Russian Woman

Malta: Destiny - Je me casse

Portugal: The Black Mamba - Love Is on My Side

Serbia: Hurricane - Loco loco

United Kingdom: James Newman - Embers The two giant trumpet props look ridiculous. They're a reminder that the song has trumpets in it! But it sounds like a generic dance hit from the UK charts. It was produced by Billen Ted, who did the irksome “Wellerman” remix earlier that year. It's palatable radio/streaming filler, but nothing special. Also, James's vocals are rough and he lacks stage presence. He just slightly dances and grins at the camera. He begins atop a platform between the trumpets on a dark stage, with cyan and red colours and flashing lights. Then the brass-playing dancers arrive below. He soon joins them. There's a pyro blast for the “LIGHT UP THE ROOM!” shouts, and a pyro finale. And he's surrounded by spinning white vertical lasers for the bridge. The song has a trumpet intro that nudges in, then the first verse contains boops and claps, as the drums enter midway. The pre-chorus impatiently shakes and smoothly blares, ending on a beat acceleration and a horn unravel. There's a rest, then the chorus uses claps, piano, and backing vocal echoes to set up the house drop. But then there's another rest, and a horn break ensues. This build-up is so drawn out. Later, there's some cowbell. And the bridges goes quiet. The lyrics are basic and lack depth. The embers metaphor signifies how James's fading relationship can reignite from what little remains of it. He believes there's still a chance. Their feelings may change over time, but they'll endure. And he suggests forgetting the past.

My Last Breath vs. Embers

Greece: Stefania - Last Dance The green screen effect must've looked so weird in the audience.

Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Tout l'univers

Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years

Spain: Blas Cantó - Voy a quedarme That gargantuan full moon is very distracting. I can't take it seriously. But the stage has a nice nighttime setting before it appears. It starts dark and foggy, as we see Blas's silhouette in front of the audience's phone lights. Then he's in total darkness. Then there's (moving) stars, a total eclipse, and a nebula on the LED. There's also a blurry shot. And at the end, Blas looks to his grandmother in Heaven. He gives a passionate performance, but this ballad is so boring. The melody and the instrumental are bland. The live version has a long a cappella intro, where Blas sings a big, echoing note. Then a subtle piano and strings appear. The first chorus expands a little. There's a whirring motor transition that sounds out of place. Then the second verse/pre-chorus throws in frantic drums that relent a couple of times. There's some drum 'pew-pew' transitions. But the rest of the song is a typical big ballad that moves at a neutral pace, with plenty of backing “ahahaha”s. Blas falsetto screams after the bridge pauses. And the outro shuts off and returns to a cappella. The lyrics sound romantic, so I don't think it's about his grandmother. He begs this person to stay all night, or even just a second, to restart their relationship. He craves intimacy. He says there's nothing to lose. He promises he'll stay and be a better partner. He'll leave fears behind. He knows other suitors have more to offer, but this love will prevail. And he'll be committed even when times get tough.

Universo vs. Voy a quedarme

Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Sugar She accidentally dropped her mic oops.

Germany: Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate This is an obnoxious, chaotic, overstimulating, and overstuffed song. The intro and verses contain piercing whistles, a ukulele, and a foot-tapping beat (which appears halfway through the intro after a double clap). The “drop” is awful – it's dense electronic noise (which falters on “sorry!”) The verses have old school backing vocals and a cringe call-and-response – the middle finger lady gives deep-voiced retorts with funny faces and Jendrik blurts “what!?” The chorus uses claps, strutting horns, and a quick wiggly melody. There's also a pause for “hate!”, a bell ding, a rapid rhyme escalation (with trumpet pips and camera cuts), a 1920s trumpet break, and a random tap dance break. And Jendrik talks over the song like a radio DJ. It's too energetic for me. So is the staging. Jendrik grins, dances around, wiggles his head, tosses a glittery ukulele, and gleefully jumps to the ramp. There's also 3 exaggerated brass players. And the middle finger lady is so cringe – she has a “tug of war” with everyone, where the LED matches this tug of war. The stage is also bright and colourful, and the LED displays insults that shatter into a paintball explosion. The lyrics are addressed to Jendrik's haters. He doesn't hate them back, he pities them. He's unbothered by it, which annoys them even more. He throws some shade too – saying their posts are unclever, that they survive off of hating, they do it for validation, and they're obsessed with him. But he sounds smug here. Is he really unbothered if he's making a song about this? If only Ben Dolic returned...

Finland: Blind Channel - Dark Side They blew the roof off the building.

Bulgaria: Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old I think she actually touches the sand this time.

Lithuania: The Roop - Discoteque

Ukraine: Go_A - Shum

France: Barbara Pravi - Voilà This channels the French ballad era of classic Eurovision, but in a refreshing way. The song takes a captivating journey. It begins as a lonely, fragile, bare piano ballad, while Barbara pauses in the verses. Then the piano drifts along. The second verses adds weeping strings. There's a sharp piano hook. The second chorus adds a deep, tense cello. The strings shiver into silence upon the word “silence”. The next chorus inserts clacks that grow louder. Then the tight arrangement crumbles apart and turns unstable at the end – the song speeds up into a carnival-esque sound while Barbara does some “dadadada”s. And that final “Voilà!” is an emphatic ending. In the lyrics, Barbara bares her insecurities to the world (“here I am!”) as she follows her dream to be a singer. That takes courage. She desperately begs to be noticed, and for her fans to stay, or she'll feel humiliated for trying. Her dream is important to her. Fame is elusive and fleeting. She fears failure. She wants her stories to reach people. She doesn't think her songs are unique. And she needs her fans' love because she doesn't love herself. It's a personal, vulnerable song and she pours her heart into it. The staging really stands out. There's a bright light beam behind Barabara that's shown from different angles. She stands alone on a dark, misty stage. She uses arm movements. She looks tiny in the darkness at one point. There's a cool overhead shot of her shadow disintegrating into birds. And the floor turns starry. But the best part is when the camera swings like a pendulum (and circles around her), which matches how the chorus melody rocks back and forth. This became France's best result in 30 years.

Azerbaijan: Efendi - Mata Hari

Norway: Tix - Fallen Angel Lol at them putting Efendi and Tix back-to-back.

Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age Jeangu delivers a strong message, conviction, and good vocals. He inspires resilience and resistance against racial oppression, saying his people's history, culture, and existence will not be erased! The colonizers disregarded their autonomy, ruined their land, persecuted their heroes, imprisoned their thoughts, and tried to convert them. But their soul, spirit, and rage thrive. And they inherit the legacy of the forgotten revolutionaries. The song is catchy and the “yu no man broko mi” (“you can't break me”) mantra chants (which are written on the LED in both languages) bring a Surinamese Creole to Eurovision. But that hook is also jarring, and the production is too sterile. The song opens with a dinging piano. Then the wall-banging verses follow a “buzz-slap-tap... slap-slap” pattern, with plenty of “ohhh-OH!”s and “your rhythm is rebellion!” mantras from the backing. The backing is very prominent here. The first chorus returns to the faint dinging piano. Then an “ohhh OH!” brings the beat back. The bridge is a tribal percussion breakdown. Then the final chorus is kinda repetitive, with additional “mi na afu sensi” responses, a buzzy beat, and some ad libs to escalate things midway. And the instrumental stops for the final line. The staging is fine. The opening shot is a concrete wall cracking open. Then the two backing singers face off and interrupt Jeangu's shot. Then a dancer suddenly appears. And at the end, they all dance in front of a very colourful ramp curtain.

Grow vs. Birth of a New Age

Italy: Måneskin - Zitti e buoni (winner review below)

Sweden: Tusse - Voices

San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida - Adrenalina

The Winner:

Italy achieves their 3rd victory. And it's the second time that a Big 4/5 country has won since that rule was implemented. Italy have been a powerhouse ever since they returned in 2011, so a win was inevitable. Moreover, Måneskin gained a significant international career after the contest, which is rare for a Eurovision winner. “I Wanna Be Your Slave” and their cover of “Beggin'” went viral over the summer; the latter even reached #13 on the US Hot 100. They've also had multiple hits on US alternative radio. They've won MTV awards. And now lead singer Damiano David is signed to an American record label.

“Zitti e buoni” isn't my #1, but it's definitely a deserving winner. The band exudes raw authenticity. I like the song's rugged texture. “Sono fuori di testa!... ma diverso da loro!” is an unforgettable hook. And Ethan has one of my favourite winner reactions.

The intro sees the guitar rip the song open. Then the verses follow an infectious guitar riff that shakily loops 3 times, then descends on the 4th bar; alongside some restless, angsty drums. The first verse is like a rallying march. Then the drums switch to get the pre-chorus moving. The band rocks out during the grimy chorus, where Damiano strains his vocal cords. The post-chorus lingers and trips over on a cowbell, then the second verse is fuller and more heated, where he sings impressively fast. It contrasts the first verse really well. The bridge starts hazy – it reduces to foot stomps and a minimal guitar. Then the instruments re-amplify, and we arrive at my favourite part – the multiple “parla...” hooks and Damiano's voice intensifying in rage. Once that rage is released, the song reduces to a banging drum march. Then the electric guitars return and they go wild in the outro.

The song is a rebellious anticonformity anthem. Damiano feels different and misunderstood. He wears dirty clothes and smokes. He sees other people living passively – they're “actors” who mask their true selves. While the authority figures scold the younger generation to stop making mistakes, to “Be Quiet And Behave” (which is the song title), and to avoid “sketchy” people. But Damiano is unlearning society's rules and breaking into forbidden places. He apologizes to his mom for always going out lol. Then the chorus is a repeated rallying cry of “I'm/you're/we're crazy, but different from them”. He advises self-reflecting to escape living obliviously. He says our willpower is unstoppable. That having the right perspective will lead to a thrilling life. And no one can stop him! The bridge basically repeats “people don't knowing what they're talking about”, as he suffocates in his current environment.

The staging is like watching a rock concert. It doesn't do anything unnecessary either. The camera begins behind the LED wall, as it opens up and Damiano greets us on the other side. Then the camera follows him as he walks to the front of the stage. The other band members are on a staircase filled with lights. Meanwhile, the LED displays their shadows, which is cool. The guitarists soon join Damiano to rock out. He squats and faces off against them on a spinning camera. Victoria is very animated lol. There's lots of flashing lights. During the bridge, the stage turns dark, then hot red, then cold blue. Then Damiano finally faces the drummer. There's a big pyro finale, including fire rain. And Damiano collapses at the end, showing he's given it his all. The band's outfits stand out as well.

I should note that some online fans falsely accused Damiano of snorting coke in the Green Room. That's the biggest controversy of 2021 and it wasn't even true.

Winner rank: “S” Tier (yes, my entire top 4 would be “S” Tier winners)

My Ranking:

Grand Final:

01. France: Barbara Pravi - Voilà 02. Finland: Blind Channel - Dark Side 03. Ukraine: Go_A - Shum 04. Italy: Måneskin - Zitti e buoni 05. San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida - Adrenalina 06. Russia: Manizha - Russian Woman 07. Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo 08. Belgium: Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place 09. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years 10. Azerbaijan: Efendi - Mata Hari

11. Greece: Stefania - Last Dance 12. Albania: Anxhela Peristeri - Karma 13. Lithuania: The Roop - Discoteque 14. Bulgaria: Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old 15. Malta: Destiny - Je me casse 16. Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Tout l'univers 17. Serbia: Hurricane - Loco loco 18. Norway: Tix - Fallen Angel 19. Israel: Eden Alene - Set Me Free 20. Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age 21. Sweden: Tusse - Voices 22. Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Sugar 23. Portugal: The Black Mamba - Love Is on My Side 24. United Kingdom: James Newman - Embers 25. Spain: Blas Cantó - Voy a quedarme 26. Germany: Jendrik - I Don't Feel Hate

✓ San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida - Adrenalina San Marino finally sends something competitive! But they shockingly flopped in the final. Seeing Flo Rida in Eurovision was so surreal. His attendance wasn't even confirmed until the last minute either. The song is a banger, thanks to the heavy, banging drums and the pounding “a-DREN-a-LIN-a” and “WHOA OH OH” hooks. It has a very imposing sound. While the quivering eastern instrumental adds a cultural sound. The song opens with it after a tunnel intro, followed by a tick stutter. Then the verses bang around. The first chorus pulls back into synth drips as it builds to another eastern drop. I like how the melody jumps out in the second verse. And the later choruses keep the beat going; as does Flo's rap verse, which pauses on a few of his phrases. The staging lacks a story or direction, but Senhit emits queen aura. At first, she has to stand still while wearing an ornate headpiece and feather shawl. Then the masked dancers remove them for her and she lays on a spinning diamond. They pull and lift her up and creepily stare at her. I like when they spin together in a line. But the bold colours and face pics on the LED + floor are overstimulating. Flo then arrives on the ramp, as the curtain displays his face. Senhit meets him there, and they walk and have fun together. There's pyro too. In the lyrics, Senhit craves this person because they give her an adrenaline rush. She's tormented and turned on. The sensation is like gasoline and dynamite being ignited. She needs them closer and can't let go. Then Flo says he feels the heat, but he doesn't add much lyrically.

Freaky vs. Adrenalina

× Estonia: Uku Suviste - The Lucky One Uku is 2nd in the running order again oof. This is such a forgettable entry. It's not that catchy and the dark, foggy synthpop production is kinda generic. The only instrumental hook is the recurring double thunderclaps, which are okay. The song opens with a growl and a double clap. Then the first verse increasingly hums and growls, adding drums midway, and ending on '80s drum 'pew-pew's. The pre-chorus pulls back, where the drums resurface. There's a pause, then the chorus synths splash back-and-forth, with a “better off alone” echo. The second verse adds deep burbles midway. The pre-chorus is skipped the second time. And the production quiets in the bridge. In the lyrics, Uku realizes it's in his best interest to leave this relationship. He doesn't need a crystal ball to figure that out. He blames his partner for screwing things up. He doesn't believe in the fantasy anymore. He calls himself “the lucky one” because he won't be the one hurting. And he's done blaming himself for his misery. The stage setting looks cool. It starts dark blue, with a full moon, a watery lake floor, and lightning bolts, as Uku kneels down. Then it cuts to a video of him drowning underwater. Once he stands up, the LED shows violent storm clouds. Then the bridge returns to the opening scene, where he touches the floor and it turns red. He also wears an undone bowtie, to show he's free to dress casually now.

What Love Is vs. The Lucky One

× Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Omaga This is a bop, but the live performance is a mess. The choreo looks amateur and Benny's vocals are off-key. He doesn't even sing some parts. He begins in a dark room backstage with spinning light pillars, and it looks like a club. Then he walks out and dances with his buddies. His friend catches him, then two girls show up. They all hop side-to-side. And they move to the ramp at the end, where he sits down for some reason. The “honestly don't care” and “OMAGA” hooks are catchy. And “there ain't no apocalypse / long as you're here on my lips” is a funny lyric. Benny thinks kissing will relieve his ex's existential dread. He wants them back. He regrets the “dumb shh” he did that pissed them off (but he somehow doesn't know what he did wrong?) And they've both been stuck at home too long (during lockdown?) So he's happy they showed up. I find the song charming and uplifting, but I wish the instrumental was less... stiff? It opens with a crackle and some light drips. Then the bass guitar takes over the verses. The pre-chorus switches to a trap beat that builds. There's a slap, then the chorus sloshes around. This instrumental is dense at times. The pre-chorus is skipped the second time. There's a new “OOOOMAGA” post-chorus. The bridge quiets down, then it inserts a marching drum. And the production disappears in the outro.

Kemama vs. Omaga

✓ Greece: Stefania - Last Dance Greece's first top 10 in 8 years! This is an epic, early 2020s dance-pop song, but I'm not sure if I like the bizarre staging. It starts simple, with magenta clouds and stars on the LED. But then, after a fade to black, we see bodiless white clothes dancing in midair as if they're ghosts. It's a strange image. They dance in front of magenta and black shifting skyscrapers. Next, Stefania climbs the LED wall, which shows a tilted city moving forward, as if she's a “Superg!rl” flying over it. Then the stage returns to normal at the end. She also wears a glittery purple catsuit. The song has a weightless, apocalyptic, 'hanging off the edge of a cliff' feeling. It opens with a vibration and a thump, then it stays anxiously quiet, with distorted voices, until a twiddling guitar appears. Her voice is lower in the verses too. Then the drum slams intensify things, as the pre-chorus melody jumps out. I like the “if the dreams...” descent. Then the chorus bulldozes through with a clasping dance beat and a multitude of catchy “OH OH OH”s. The post-chorus heightens afterwards. The second verse keeps the energy going, and roars midway. The bridge briefly rests. And there's a big note ending. The chorus says “let's/last dance” a lot, but I don't mind. The song is about a couple having their last dance together. Stefania says they'll find new partners to dance with. Her heart is too free-spirited to stay. She doesn't do remedies or eternities. And there's a sense of urgency, since time is running out.

Superg!rl vs. Last Dance

× Austria: Vincent Bueno - Amen The better “Amen”, although both are boring. Vincent pours his heart out here. He sounds frustrated and bitter and his story seems personal. But the tone is too serious – he compares his break-up to a funeral. That's how badly his ex hurt him. They walked away like it was nothing. It feels like they didn't even try to save the relationship and wasted Vincent's time. So he keeps demanding to know “is this what you wanted?” While the word “Amen” is used as a funeral prayer. But the lyrics could explore this situation deeper. The song starts as a light, tapping piano ballad. Then the pre-chorus relaxes with a slight guitar. There's a deafening silence, then the chorus firmly stomps and claps, as Vincent's anger rises. I'm conflicted on this chorus – it doesn't go anywhere, but it's also very emotional, like he's pounding against the wall. The second verse stomps with tambourine jingles. There's a marching drum before the next chorus. The bridge is the best part – it's where Vincent lets it all out. And the song quiets before the last chorus. The staging is pretty simple. It starts darkly lit, where Vincent's silhouette is illuminated by a bright spotlight behind him. Then he walks down this narrow plank with light beams pointing forward on either side. And that's basically it. His performance seems emotional though.

Alive vs. Amen

× Poland: Rafał - The Ride TVP ditched Alicja for this? The studio version is a guilty pleasure, but Rafał's live vocals are a mess. He doesn't keep up with the backing vocals. He keeps hyping up the audience. And the bridge is painful. The sunglasses make him look douchey too. The stage has a pink and blue 1980s nightclub aesthetic. The LED displays grids, lasers, and the music video. And there's 4 lively dancers holding palm lights. The opening shot shows everyone's frozen silhouettes on a tilted angle. Then Rafał grabs the camera for a bit. He temporarily removes the glasses. They move to the ramp, where the curtain shows dancing girls by a “Warszawa” sign. Then the dancers run to the camera one-by-one. And there's pyro. The song has a late night car ride feeling. It's dominated by 2009 club synths. There's also warped “WAH AH OH”s (which is the intro) and plenty of clacking sounds. The verses have a bouncy melody and emphasize “lights”/“not lost” etc. Then, after a splash, the first chorus pulls back into squeaks and snaps before refilling. The “it doesn't matter...” hook sticks out here. There's a watery whoosh. Later, the bridge rises with backing “woah”s. And there's a glitchy rest and a dribble into the finale. The lyrics seem empty, where Rafał invites this person on a ride and uses city night imagery. But it's also about him choosing his own path, figuring things out for himself, and ignoring criticism. He wants to be freed. He's confident he can do this. He'll overcome setbacks. And there's no regrets or fear.

✓ Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Sugar This isn't sexy, it's just tacky. Plus Natalia's vocals aren't great and she looks awkward and novice on stage, with her goofy smiles and cringe dancing. There's also too many instrumental breaks. But the song is pretty catchy. The verses incrementally add in a throbbing bass, taps, and bouncing boops, and they end on a “alone tonight” pause. There's also breaths and tongue pops. Then the grinding bass synth drops, with muffled “oh oh”s and more bouncing boops. Her voice is sultry in the verses, but it jumps out in the “COME OVER” build-up. This leads to on a pause and a slap during the “GIVE ME SOME... SUGAR!” hook... then there's ANOTHER drop. The second run through has just one drop though. The bridge then sits in autopilot, until it stops, grinds, and clacks. Then Natalia finishes with a super long note (which became a meme) and a smooch. In the lyrics, she feels an unexplainable, tingling, burning sensation. So she urges this person to come over and give her some “sugar” (a kiss). She's addicted to it. On stage, Natalia is on a spinning platform with 4 sunglass-wearing dancers, while the LED shows pink laser lines/cubes. She sits sprawled against them at first. They make the LED lines bulge and tilt. There's a dance routine involving various arm movements, hip shakes, and leg lifts. At one point, the dancers collapse and leave. The LED cube dizzyingly rotates. Then she walks forward, as they approach her and fall over. And the LED shows pink electricity during the long note.

Prison vs. Sugar

✓ Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years Daði sings to his wife this time. The lyrics are sweet and down-to-Earth. His love continues to grow even after a decade together. It gets better with time like wine. She's so fascinating and he's never bored. And if he rewound time, he wouldn't change a thing, because he's grown since meeting her. The song has a relaxed, worry-free atmosphere and it gives '70s vibes. It opens with sentimental strings. Then the squirmy synths enter, followed by the drum slaps. It cools off for a moment. There's a pause and drum tumble during “HOW DOES IT KEEP GETTING BETTER?”, then the chorus adds a Nile Rodgers-esque guitar. The second verse is fuller. There's a drum 'pew-pew' and hazy keyboard break. And the bridge quiets into backing chants. This entry is likeably quirky and Daði's deep, drowsy vocal style is unique. The rushed pre-chorus melody and the “you're so fascinating” lurch stick out. The latter is also shown in a big font. The staging involves ugly turquoise sweaters, curved keyboards, and minimalist dancing (side turns, floppy arms, hip twitches, and arm rests). The intro shows their frozen silhouettes on a purple stage and a watery floor. Then they freeze in various poses and hypnotically walk forward and back. Meanwhile, the LED shows 8-bit astronauts floating in space, plus pink and yellow boxes during the chorus. While the ramp curtain displays a crowd of 8-bit characters. The band also spins and combines their keyboards. The lights dim for the bridge. The wind machine appears. And they end on a frozen pose.

Think About Things vs. 10 Years

✓ Serbia: Hurricane - Loco loco This is “Hasta la vista” 2.0, but it's a highly energetic song – it feels like a car race – and Hurricane OWNS that stage. They serve hair-ography and fierceness, and Sanja is intense. They start by making poses, while the LED displays “HURRICANE” and moving blinding white rectangles. Then they wind their arms, shake their hips with their hands up, and side shuffle their legs. And they finish on the ramp with a wind machine. Meanwhile, the stage flashes black, white, and red colours (and LED lyrics) until a disco ball appears to change the scene. The intro creates hype, with a saw-slam, motorbike-like “ram pam pam”s, vocal excerpts, a beat acceleration, and a “ha-ha-ha-hurricane!” Then, after a squawk, the bouncy beat flies down the highway with vocal squeals and a “whoa oh oh”. The song inserts a lot of distorted vocal effects. The verses ease off with a flicking beat. Then, after a buzzy bit, the pre-chorus builds with backing vocal punches, a beat acceleration, and a squawk. Then the chorus speeds by with “OH!” yelps and that silly “sam sam sam / znam znam znam / lom lom lom” hook, and it brakes at the end. The beat stops for a “1, 2 girls C'MON ding”; then it resumes and cools off, and there's a big vocal moment. In the lyrics, they encourage their hesitant admirer to be loco and ask them out. They're sweet and nice, so why not? They can tell this person is interested. And there's no need for anger or drama because they aren't asking for promises.

Hasta la vista vs. Loco loco

× Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - You Last year, Tornike sent a hard rock song; this year, he sings the most boring ballad on Earth. His two entries are vastly different, but I dislike them equally. “You” moves glacially slow. The lyrics contain 75 words, which isn't a lot. The “my loooove”s and “youuuu”s are so drawn out. And his vocals are boring until he brings out the rocker growl. The intro is nature-esque – it sounds like the wind, and it ends on a glittery sound. But then the first verse is an acoustic lullaby. Yawns. The tongue-clicking drums and strings come in next. Then the instrumental de-layers for a few seconds. The bridge switches to scurrying string plucks. Then the choir enters and the slow beat returns. The song softens, there's a helicopter whoosh, then it ends with splashing drums and this jittery sound. The lyrics are about how he longs to be with his lover... or to be with nature. He lists nature terms that he wants to sense. The stage starts darkly lit, as Tornike performs completely alone, with odd camera cuts. These floating stars appear behind him. Then he sits on a box, and the lyrics are projected onto his body. The stage lights up towards the end, with lyrics and blue clouds on the LED.

Take Me as I Am vs. You (Neither)

✓ Albania: Anxhela Peristeri - Karma This is one dramatic intro. Anxhela yells “Zoti nuk ma fal!” (“God won't forgive me!”) as the strings and drums come crashing down. It wakes you up after Georgia. The song turns delicate after that, with an icy piano, light thuds, and windy sounds. Then, after a slam, a twiddling guitar appears. The beat builds, sinks, and quadruple bangs, then the Balkan instrumental drops (which only appears once). The second verse adds traditional instruments. The next chorus is fuller. There's a trappy breakdown with sliced-up vocals. Then, a woodwind appears, the backing sings the hook instead, and there's an epic drum transition. The song mixes traditional and modern well and the percussion is very dramatic with lots of slams, bangs, and sinks. And Anxhela sounds anguished. Her shouts hit hard. In the lyrics, she had a spoiled life. She laughed while her partner sobbed. She was heartless and selfish. Then her world fell apart and everyone abandoned her. She looked for new love, but nothing satisfied her. Now she's alone and sobbing, and her ex is laughing. That is her karma. She feels like she deserves the rejection. Sacha's staging helped this qualify. It uses red lighting with a black backdrop, and there's several red and green dust explosions that look cool. Anxhela also conjures a red circle. I like when she leans over her shoulder. She commands the stage well despite it being empty. There's a wind machine too. And the stage changes to heavenly white clouds for the last chorus.

✓ Portugal: The Black Mamba - Love Is on My Side A borderline NQ saved by good staging. It's like watching a jazz band perform in a lounge in the 1950s. It starts in black-and-white with a 4:3 aspect ratio. Their suits reflect that time period too. Eventually the video modernizes, as the stage turns blue, then peach, with an orchestra on the LED. Later, the ramp curtain shows an anonymous woman walking down a street full of lampposts, as Tatanka walks in sync with her. Then he grabs a guitar. The song sounds 60+ years old as well. The intro showcases a smooth orchestra, then the strings remain throughout the song. The first verse follows a sparse piano. Then the chorus picks up the pace by adding a subtle guitar, until it relents at the end. The drums arrive in the second verse. There's panicked strings after “when it rains”. The next chorus starts with a triple stomp. The song builds to an electric guitar solo, where the backing repeats the title. And there's a softer outro. I'm not mad that this qualified, but his voice is irritating and I don't like how the chorus repeats the title over and over again. This is the only Portuguese entry entirely in English. Tatanka sings from the P.O.V. of an Amsterdam prostitute he met (we are in the Netherlands after all). She left home at 16, overconfident in her dreams. She resorted to drugs. She couldn't grow. She forgot where she belonged. But despite life not turning out as expected, she still believes in love, but maybe not in tonight's sexual exchange. It's about finding hope in hopeless circumstances.

✓ Bulgaria: Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old I prefer “Imaginary Friend”, but “GUIGO” is also emotional and relatable, even if it's kinda slow. Victoria dreads getting older, as her mental health prevents her from pursuing the life she wants. She hides her feelings inside due to fear. It's like Tetris trying to make them fit (Tetris also evokes nostalgia). She's carrying too much and it's reaching a breaking point. It's aching and draining. And she self-isolates to cope. But maybe if she let her worries go, she could move forward. At the end, she says “you're worth saving” to anyone that relates. The lyrics use creative phrases, including a clunky title – it means “adulthood is tiring”. The song sustains tension and patiently builds, while Victoria's vulnerable voice grows stronger. There's a majestic strings intro that shivers. Then the first verse uses a ticking clock and string plucks. The first chorus shrinks to a piano. The second verse is gentler, then the plucks return. The next chorus bursts open with anguished drum pounds. The bridge smooths with the strings. There's a high note, then the backing voices and drum pounds power the climax. And there's a fragile outro. Victoria's minimalist vocal style adds a nice texture, even if it's similar to Billie Eilish. As does the backing vocals (“mhm”). Her performance is emotional too. The stage is dark, with a sepia, sandy brown aesthetic, while she sits on a slanted rock over a watery floor. She's dressed casually. She touches a family photo. She gets up and reaches for a spout of falling sand that shuts off (to symbolize time running out). And there's a falling snow effect at the climax.

Tears Getting Sober vs. Growing Up Is Getting Old

✓ Finland: Blind Channel - Dark Side Finland's first top 10 since Lordi. This is a stellar rock entry. It's adrenalized and deranged but accessible. It gives me Linkin Park vibes. The “PUT YOUR MIDDLE FINGERS UP” shout and the “I-I-I'm, I-I-I'm, I-I-I'm” back-and-forth are insanely catchy. And the production is high quality and intricate. It makes me picture an unruly party at an outdoor hideout. The intro creates hype, with an eerie wind, chilly synths, accelerating kicks, a record scratch, and “guh guh” vocal effects. Then the chorus unleashes the heavy electric guitars, with dog barks afterwards. The chilly synths keep reappearing. The pre-chorus (which occurs once) lowers, with drum bangs and more kicks. There's a drum bang + dog bark breakdown. The bridge lets the guitars linger, then it cools off. And there's an epic last chorus transition and a screamo outro. The lyrics are about succumbing to one's dark side, or vices. The singer is in a blackout drunk paradise to avoid his pain. He's “loaded” like a weapon. And he can't be saved. He also throws a party for the misfits, to raise a middle finger to society and drink til they puke. And there's a “Lifestyles of the sick and dangerous” pun and a bold “27 club” reference. The staging is perfect for the song. There's lots of pyro, smoke, and flashing lights. It changes between red and blue lighting. The LED shows two guitarists hanging upside down, which looks cool. The camera flips around a couple times. There's cuts to the musicians getting quite into it. The band has great stage presence and energy. And they have red bandages on their middle fingers and they keep showing the word “join”.

× Latvia: Samanta Tīna - The Moon Is Rising Samanta sends another quirky song, but this one is way too confrontational and annoying. Especially the shouty chorus and that “pa-ra-ra, pa-ra-ra” hook. And WTF is this “uh-uh, uh-uh” beat? It starts in the intro, as vibrations, slicing snaps, whooshes, and a trap beat are added in incrementally. Then the claps create anticipation. Then the drop involves horn roars, vibrations, and a sticky synth, until the beat turns trappy midway and accelerates. The second verse starts as flamenco for some reason. And the bridge is a “my rules, your rules” breakdown, with claps and drum wobbles, ending on a beat acceleration into the last drop. The composition feels aimless though. And the female empowerment message is hampered by the arrogant lyrics. Samanta declares herself a queen. She'll even have her own parade. A blood moon (or total lunar eclipse) signals a disruptive change in astrology. That change is her stealing power from men. She'll pursue this guy and he won't be able to resist her. She sets the conditions required to date her. And she doesn't play games, so she demands he be upfront. The staging looks ugly – the green outfits are a choice. She faces backwards on a dark stage at first, in between green light beams. Then it lights up and the LED shows golden kaleidoscope patterns and crowns made of hands that emit electric waves. While the 3 backing singers wear face shields. They all wave and make crown motions with their hands. And she twirls around at one point.

Still Breathing vs. The Moon Is Rising

✓ Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Tout l'univers I'm not surprised this won the jury. Gjon's voice is sensitive, vulnerable, and heartfelt. But the instrumental turns predictable at the climax. The song starts very fragile though, with a lonely, faint piano, which slightly strengthens after a moment, then it frustratingly pounds in the first chorus. The song recedes after that, then the second verse adds patters and echo-clacks, and intensifies at the end. I like that “MOIII!” transition. But the next chorus goes full “Arcade”-mode, with the heavy, slamming, enveloping percussion – it feels like an oncoming, inescapable natural disaster. The bridge instantly softens to the piano. Then there's a long, high note to kick off the final chorus. And the outro is quieter. The lyrics are poetic. It's about two people burdened by their past trauma, trying to heal and accept love again. Gjon only has the wind to touch him. He feels a void inside. He can't hide from it. And hope is fading. But he can't stay stuck like this. The chorus compares their trauma to an earthquake. Sacha's staging is cinematic. Gjon stands on this white d-shaped structure that eventually separates, while wearing black. The absence of colour is noticeable, until the lights turn purple during the bridge. There's also numerous camera cuts of various different angles. He moves his arms around a lot. The way he flails around is captivating. And there's lots of flashing lights by the end.

Répendez-moi vs. Tout l'univers

× Denmark: Fyr og Flamme - Øve os på hinanden This is a guilty pleasure. Sure, it's camp and the staging is kitsch. But it doesn't take itself too seriously and it sounds like it was recorded in the '80s. It opens with a sparkling synth, then the synth and electric guitar riffs rush in, with a suspended guitar afterwards. The verses have a bouncy beat with piano/synth bits. The pre-chorus involves a call-and-response, double claps, and a bang. And the chorus stomps and holds suspense until the intro reappears, which is such a satisfying payoff. That suspense is held for over minute the second time, since the bridge (which is mostly backing vocals) extends it. I find the guitars and chorus melody catchy. The lyrics are from the P.O.V. of a teenager at a school dance. Jesper and his date are standing there awkwardly, so he tries out a move he's been working on, hoping he doesn't trip over. He says, since everyone's inexperienced at this, let's practice dancing together. He gets lost in the music and feels alive in the moment. The dance floor is where hearts swell and break. On stage, the duo wears gaudy silver and purple or blue outfits. Jesper also wears an undershirt for some reason. They stand on separate circular platforms, which are positioned weirdly. At first, Jesper walks out confused. Then he fist pumps, points, and does some dad dancing (which Laurits reacts to). And he runs to ramp, jumps, and runs back. Meanwhile, the LED shows flashing magenta, blue, and orange grids, that move like an oncoming tunnel during the chorus/bridge.

My Ranking:

01. Finland: Blind Channel - Dark Side ✓ 02. San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida - Adrenalina ✓ 03. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - 10 Years ✓ 04. Greece: Stefania - Last Dance ✓ 05. Albania: Anxhela Peristeri - Karma ✓ 06. Bulgaria: Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old ✓ 07. Denmark: Fyr og Flamme - Øve os på hinanden 08. Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Tout l'univers ✓ 09. Serbia: Hurricane - Loco loco ✓ 10. Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Omaga

✓ Lithuania: The Roop - Discoteque This is a good opener. It energizes the crowd and the message is relevant in pandemic times. Dancing alone at home is one way to cure lockdown boredom! Since no one's watching him, Vaidotas feels safe and he can't be embarrassed (his goofy dancing proves he isn't lol.) He starts in a confused talking voice, with a distortion effect on “veins”, while he notices the music taking over him. It's confusing and uncontrollable, but he likes it. Meanwhile, there's a tunnel intro, then the thick, murky bass dominates the song. The verses add curious guitars, claps (as the audience claps along), and squiggly sounds. The bass briefly relents, and the beat stops for the “dance alone” echoes. Then the chorus squawks along to this choppy, breathy “let's. disco. teque.” hook, with some “dance alone” whimpers. Then the “drop” releases haywire bubbling synths, with bells and exhales. The bridge reduces to beatboxing, firm kicks, and bells. And the final chorus is sung over the “drop” instead. The staging involves yellow outfits, a purple LED, plenty of split screens, and quirky dance moves! The “drop” has a wild flailing routine. Plus there's drunken silhouttes, shoulder lifts, finger chops, hopping, etc. And he grabs the camera at the end. The backing members are fun to watch. The camera work is cool. And I like how the song swims through this murky trance. But “On Fire” had something special that “Discoteque” lacks. It became Lithuania's best result since 2006 though!

On Fire vs. Discoteque

× Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Amen Ana offers good advice, but the lyrics are too religious for me, and the song is boring. She speaks to a scared child, saying don't assume Heaven rejected you. Pain is inevitable, and it makes you who you are. The important thing is to heal, bounce back, and perserve. So accept the fear. And a broken heart can't cry until the storm is over. The song starts as a piano ballad. Then, after a thunder roll, the chorus pounds louder. The second verse adds drums and echoing bits, as the church choir arrives. There's a drum strike, then the next chorus is more intense. The bridge turns into a Gospel clapping breakdown, where Ana walks to the stage ramp. Then the instrumental subsides to set up the explosive final chorus. There's another thunder roll, and the outro repeats the quiet intro. Ana delivers strong vocals and she commands the stage well enough, but the song is too tedious and slow to become the anthem it wants to be. Otherwise, the stage uses golden lighting, while the LED shows outer space imagery. The spotlight increases on Ana at the start. She uses hand movements. And there's a star explosion when the first chorus hits.

Voda vs. Amen

✓ Russia: Manizha - Russian Woman Russia's last entry for the foreseeable future, and it's one of their best. The message is shockingly progressive. Manizha brings charisma, attitude, and passion. The rapping works. The group chanting is epic, especially with the pyro, raised arms, and foot marches. And the staging is creative. At first, she floats around inside an oversized traditional dress, looking uncomfortable. Then she steps out to symbolically free herself. Then she stands inside a circle of backing singers, with a spinning camera, which is an effective visual, while the LED displays slogans. But the most powerful moment is when they watch the Zoom call of Russian women on the LED. She even kneels during it. The lyrics empower women to be self-reliant without a man. Manizha lists common criticisms thrown at women, and retorts “we're not a flock”. She remarks how men just fight. And she says growing up without a father won't break her. The song combines folk and rap sounds. It has an interesting structure. There's a neat horn + clicking/thumping rhythm at the start. Then the horns, marching drum, and “AHHHHH!” build anticipation. Then the rattling beat and springy traditional guitar drop and disappear multiple times, as the song pounds along – it relents for bells or cello jerks. That “drop” is so good. The first chant waits to bring the beat back. The “YOW!” brings the “drop” back. And the “don't be afraid!” repetition is fiery. The backing also emphasizes certain words.

✓ Sweden: Tusse - Voices Sweden underperforms by their standards. “Voices” tries to be an inspirational anthem, but the weak lyrics and the generic, bland, stale composition diminish its power. It sounds like any random Mello song. The only unique part is the bagpipe intro. And the lyics are uninspired – like rhyming “a million voices” with “a million choices” (I'm getting Russia 2015 flashbacks). Or the basic “fire in the rain” metaphor. Or the cringe “haters” line. The message is about not letting anyone stop you from living your life. And the power of a support network, even if they're far away. Tusse sympathizes with us, but I just feel nothing. Anyways, after that bagpipe intro, the dark bass, kick drums, and claps take over. The pre-chorus adds a marching snare and “wah oh”s. The beat stops, then the chorus percussion thumps and crashes around. The choir appears for the “million voices” refrain. The bridge quiets, then there's a key change (ugh) and kid voices at the end (ugh). It's Sweden, so the production sounds professional. And Tusse has great stage presence. The stage uses dark lighting and it's full of flashing lights and smoke by the end. While the LED shows water. I like when the backing singers appear in the flashing lights, as well as the opening shot of Tusse walking forward. He also kneels during the bridge. But I don't care for the crouched over dancing or the LED showing a line of people.

As for Mello 2021, “Little Tot” was my initial favourite, but “Behöver inte dig idag” has surpassed it over time. I also loved “Every Minute” and the iconic “Rena rama ding dong”. The Mamas' returnee attempt with “In the Middle” wasn't as good as “Move” though.

× Australia: Montaigne - Technicolour Australia's first NQ. It was a live-on-tape performance, but this is a messy, jarring song anyways. It's the first hyperpop entry in Eurovision, and I usually dislike that genre. But the catchiness of “eh-eh-eh-everything”, “WE GOT STYLE AND LASERS YEAH!”, and “techni-technicolour!” won me over. Plus Montaigne's vocal style sounds like Marina. And the lyrics are about wanting a meaningful life in the bleak 2020s. Everything feels disconnected, frustrating, and fast. Planning for the future seems pointless. But Montaigne says it's time to discard the cloaks that conceal us. We can shine in vibrant, bold colours if we make connections. The song has an “ooh”, “hah hah”, and bell intro, as the verses follow quick guitar plucks. Then the dark, foggy bass enters. The pre-chorus slams with tinny synths. There's a drum snap, then the chorus has more tinny synths and synth spits. The bridge is a bunch of drum booms, strings, and cries of “shiiiiine”. And there's a messy key change and a high note ending. I like how the song switches up though. The staging uses lighting effects. It starts with just one spotlight behind Montaigne. Then the backing dancers show up. I like the psychedelic colour blurs when the bass drops. And the chorus is like a rave with the background lights.

Don't Break Me vs. Technicolour

× North Macedonia: Vasil - Here I Stand This is boring and I'm annoyed that they copied Dotter's “Bulletproof” staging concept. I mean, I could end my review right there. The lyrics involve Vasil reflecting on his journey of self-growth. He uses “we/us” pronouns to refer to his current and younger selves. He wishes he could hug and reassure the latter. People tried to break him, but it made him who he is. Now he's opened up, feels free, and has stopped crying. The song starts with a high-pitched piano. Then the strings come in, and the piano lowers by the chorus. There's a deep thud. Then there's some jabbing violins. The drums and prominent backing vocals intensify the next chorus. The bridge quiets back to the piano, leading to a couple long notes. And the song jumps into an intense finale. The staging begins with dark lighting on Vasil as the camera focuses. Then there's a visual effect of his heart glowing and sprouting tree-like branches. He conjures golden dust. The stage lights turn gold too. And finally, he opens his coat to reveal light reflecting off a disco plate on his chest. I rolled my eyes at that. This entry just takes itself too seriously.

You vs. Here I Stand

× Ireland: Lesley Roy - Maps There was a delayed start because a camera broke. The song itself is solid, but the elaborate staging just doesn't look as cool as they imagined, and Lesley sounds out of breath. It creates the illusion that she's inside a pop-up book. It involves these moving, 3D paper backgrounds. There's 4 scenes – a forest, a mirror, ocean waves, and a street of houses. Plus a split screen of pages flipping next to her, and a rain effect during the bridge. Lesley also seemingly runs on a treadmill. The contraption is revealed towards the end, when she runs to the stage ramp. The song has a major sense of urgency that works really well. It moves at a sprint. The “easy to run...” and “I'VE... BEEN SEARCH... ING” hooks stick with me too. There's an excited strings intro, then the verses are eager, and the pre-chorus heightens with galloping drums. The first chorus diminishes to just a guitar, then the fast energy returns midway; while the later choruses jump right into it. The instrumental stops during the “back ho-o-ome” and “twice as strong” lines. And the bridge is a “tribal” drum break, that then builds into the final chorus. The lyrics are about Lesley returning home after facing setbacks. Leaving home was easy – she never intended to go back. But these new places are unfulfilling, and she hasn't been acting like herself. She had to learn this lesson the hard way. But returning home has allievated her guardedness and fears. The bridge says her heart and soul will guide her.

Story of My Life vs. Maps (based on studio versions)

✓ Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo Cyprus sends “Fuego” 3.0, but this sounds more like Lady Gaga's “Bad Romance”. It does use Spanish words though! The stereotypical ones like sriracha, taco, tamale, mamacita, and loca. The lyrics are kinda silly – it's about Elena (figuratively) falling in love with the Devil – but her conviction makes it work. She injects fierceness and personality into the verses, which describe a burning hot encounter at a party (with spicy food comparisons). It melts her icy! (lol) Then she sounds helplessly infatuated in the chorus. The song opens with a hum and light knocks. Then the first verse adds the bass, taps, and claps one-by-one, along with several whip sound effects (which I love). The instrumental vanishes in the pre-chorus, except for some exhales. Then the chorus hits like an 18-wheeler truck – that beat goes HARD and it's so addictive. The second verse is more uniform. And the bridge quiets to “I love el diablo” kid chants and more exhales. It's a very catchy song, with the repeated phrases and “OH-OH-OH”s. Plus the staging is solid. The red lighting and the dancers' red catsuits create a devilish setting. And I like the warped mirror that reflects their backsides. The opening shot shows the mirror image of Elena laying on the floor. Then at the end, the mirror rises to reveal a burning “El Diablo” sign. The choreo looks fierce too – with them dropping to the floor, that one dancer's quasi-handstand, and when they all shake their hips together.

✓ Norway: Tix - Fallen Angel The fandom imploded when Keiino's “Monument” lost NMGP, but I actually prefer “Fallen Angel”. It's a tragic song, where Tix thinks he isn't good enough for his girlfriend, due to his mental health struggles. She's too far above him, like an angel in the clouds, and he has fallen down to Earth. He doesn't think it's fair to drag her down. And he doesn't understand what she sees in him. So he begs “just let me go”. He pushes her away, believing it's for the best. The staging is camp though, in how literal it is. Tix wears an angel costume, while being chained to 4 demons dressed in black. Meanwhile, the fog machine simulates clouds, with lightning on the floor LED. There's also bursts of hellfire pyro. However, it's a powerful moment when he takes his sunglasses off to reveal his condition. The song sounds very 2008, except for the trap elements. The verses begin with frosty synths. Then, after a power-down effect, the trappy beat enters. The pre-chorus softens to a hum, ending on a thunderclap and broken ticks. Then the clasp-y, trappy chorus enters. The “NOOO-OH (*vocal squeal*)” hook is alright here. The second verse slams with “WUR-URLD” responses. The song has a bunch of backing vocal effects (“YO-OU!” is another one). The bridge instrumental is similar to the pre-chorus. And there's a key change.

× Croatia: Albina - Tick-Tock The unluckiest NQ ever. The staging is qualification-worthy. It has an '80s nightclub aesthetic. The neon blue and pink lighting is pleasing. I like how they dance on a narrow ledge in front of the lowered LED curtain. And Albina has stage presence. She starts alone, as she controls lasers behind her. Then the dancers spring up (in silver outfits with straps), and the curtain now looks like scaffolding. I like the arms up + hip sag move. Albina then quintuples, she's lifted up, the curtain rises, and there's LED lyrics and smoke at the end. The song was made for the clubs and it's quite hypnotic. The short buzzers are so addictive. “Tick Tock I'll take you dancing” is catchy. And “DON'T GO x3” adds desperation. The song opens with a muffled voice and bells, as the verse stays restrained until the thumps and snaps enter. There's a saw rip, then the smacking beat drops, and the chorus heightens midway, with shallow bouncing synth bits. The bridge occurs early, and it's similar to the pre-chorus. The second chorus is shorter. The “dancin', dancin'” part has euphoric synths. Then the bridge reappears, and it leads to the best part: the Croatian switch! The song also uses vocal distortions. In the lyrics, Albina has given up on fixing this relationship. Her lover is unsatisfied and tricks her into staying. It's a playzone that he overcomplicates into a warzone. But she's breaking free to empower herself. She takes control of the game by inviting him to dance, hoping he'll beg “don't go”. But she's waiting and time is ticking.

✓ Belgium: Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place Hooverphonic fired their 2020 lead singer to bring back Geike. But whatever, I prefer Geike's vocal tone, and this song is such a vibe. It's the kind of indie rock that I'm into. It creates the image of a 1970s bar full of smokers and drinkers. The mutters of “you're in the wrong place” contribute to that image. And the stage setting elevates the song. It uses black and white lighting and black clothing. Meanwhile, the camera spins around the band members playing their instruments on raised platforms, as Geike stands in the middle. And there's a crying face on screen. Also, the “HI-I-IDE/CRY-Y-Y” yelps (with guitar highlighting them), the “last night, last night” repetitions, and the intimidating “DON'T YOU EVER DARE TO WEAR...” really hook me in. The verses steadily and continuously slam down, with the drums, lingering piano notes, and tambourine. Then the hazy guitar comes in. And the drums panic on either side of the chorus. The lyrics are about a hook-up that Geike regrets. She wakes up next to him, needing a drink or smoke to forget. It's so awkward. She avoided this guy for a while, but ultimately gave in, thinking he was cool, but he's actually uptight. So she forbids him from wearing her Johnny Cash t-shirt! (that's a memorable lyric). Also, the verses compare their different behaviour.

Release Me vs. The Wrong Place

✓ Israel: Eden Alene - Set Me Free “Feker Libi” was wild, but “Set Me Free” is too formulaic, finely tuned, and safe. I find the “Imma Imma ahh” hook, with the bendy strings and bass drop, underwhelming. But Eden's amazing charisma, confidence, and vocals elevates this. She looks fierce. She grins as she aces those whistle notes. And she makes that last chorus a climax. Also, the stage looks full without any props. Eden and the dancers dance everywhere, including the ramp. There's even an outfit reveal (to symbolize her being set free) and pyro at the end. Meanwhile, the LED has a Tokyo at night aesthetic. It displays the song title and triangular patterns, with blue and pink colours. The ramp curtain is also used well. The song's celebratory vibe is mismatched with Eden's turmoil though. She's conflicted about this bad relationship. She'll feel empowered by leaving, so she requests to be set free, because she can't let go. She feels trapped and she's losing her mind. But she seems to miss him in the second verse? And the bridge is an invitation (that also mentions “2021”). The song has a synth boop intro (on a darkly lit stage). It leads to a mini-chorus, then the strings, bass guitar, and claps come in. Then the slap house beat drops. Which is fine. The beat stops during “seeeet me free”, then it accelerates back to that “drop”. One of the choruses starts with marching drums. And the bridge reduces to hollow clacks and taps. There's also crackle, squeal, and dribble sounds throughout.

Feker Libi vs. Set Me Free

× Romania: Roxen - Amnesia This was predicted to qualify until Roxen had trouble singing while moving around. Which is a shame, because I love this artistic staging concept. They/she start in a blue fog, as they stumble upon the emerging dancers. The dancers represent the negative self-talk inside Roxen's head. They keep trying to “attack” her. She futiley pushes them away. They drag her across the floor. And they follow her onto the stage ramp. Meanwhile, the LED + curtain show trapped silhouettes. The stage also turns blood red at one point. And the LED switches to a sunset at the end, as Roxen accepts the dancers. The lyrics are about forgetting how to self-love. Roxen recalls their happier younger self. But they lost their self-esteem from trying to meet people's expectations. It's draining to reach impossible standards. People lecture without knowing anything. Roxen helps any listener that can relate, by reassuring “you're not alone” several times. And that self-love can come back. The song starts with a glassy instrument, followed by heartbeat patters and a vocal distortion. The pre-chorus has moody strings. Then the chorus follows a 'tap-tap-clap' heartbeat. The bridge switches to a rubbery wiping sound. And the drums build-up in the last chorus. I like how the melody sort of glides. And the “OH, I LOST. MY. SELF” and “NOT ALONE, NOT ALONE” hooks stick with me.

Alcohol You vs. Amnesia

✓ Azerbaijan: Efendi - Mata Hari This is pretty similar to “Cleopatra”. They even kept the “Like Cleopatra” line. There's also a deep-voiced mantra (albeit in Azerbaijani this time) and an outro that goes insane. But whatever, this is still a bop. It's an ethnic pop song. It opens on a “MATA HARI!” shout, then the verses use a scratchy Azeri guitar, as the beat enters midway; plus some “liii-AR / desiii-RE” jumps. The pre-chorus has a lighter beat, some “ahhh”s, a record scratch, and that mantra. Then the chorus makes a big impact, with the hand drums, “MA-MA-MA-MATA HARI”s, zurna explosions, and deep-voiced “mamamama”s. The bridge is a zurna and hand drum breakdown. Then the song hums and stops, as the “shh! let's go!” sets up the outro. In the lyrics, Efendi speaks from the perspective of Mata Hari; an exotic dancer who was allegedly an enemy spy during WWI. Weirdly, Norway 1976 was also about Mata Hari. Basically, Efendi revels in her mesmerizing, manipulative power over men. She delivers the lyrics assertively. The LED shows turquoise and magenta colours, card patterns, a golden orb holding a cobra, and some flames. While Efendi and the dancers' choreo looks sexy, but I don't care for that back-and-forth hand movement. Otherwise, there's blurry silhouettes, they bend over each other, they do the multiple arms illusion, and they hold hands in a circle. And during the outro, they spin their ponytails while the pyro goes crazy.

Cleopatra vs. Mata Hari

✓ Ukraine: Go_A - Shum The white voice annoyed me in “Solovey” (and Poland 2019), but it works in “Shum”. It's a unique, alluring, and mysterious song that combines folk and electronic sounds. The flute is like a birdsong, and the dense, buzzing bass makes me picture a desolate Chernobyl. Plus “SIYU, SIYU, SIYU, SIYU” is super catchy. The song steadily builds and accelerates for the first half. First, the hiccup shrieks, bass, and foot taps appear one-by-one. There's a shaker, then it cuts to a stompy flute solo. The bass (with a springy sound), taps, and shakers return one-by-one, as the song increases its momentum, until it suddenly halts into a grinding sound. Then the flute builds it back up, there's a tunnel voice and a ding, and the last 45s speeds up. Kateryna then ends on a shriek. The song also has some blares. I LOVE how it builds into that speed-up. The staging is incredible too. They stand in a winter forest on a diamond platform, where Kateryna's green boa contrasts the white colours. The two guys holding the glowing rings are fun – they stomp to the beat, jump off the platform, and trickle some sand. Meanwhile, Kateryna opens her eyes as the sun rises behind her. She “swims” her hands. And she's given a halo at the end. The camera work involves a split screen and drunken titled angles. It also travels to everyone during the halt, including a lurched over DJ. And the LED is odd – it shows faceless bodies and distortion. Then during the speed-up, it shows a running crowd, while the band is hunched over. The lyrics contain nature imagery. From what I understand, “Shum” is about a ritual that calls upon a forest spirit to bring spring.

Solovey vs. Shum

✓ Malta: Destiny - Je me casse The odds overhyped Malta. It's a bombastic song packed with personality. Destiny serves vocals and confidence. And the lyrics chastise men who won't take 'no' for an answer. It handles this message better than “Toy”. Destiny rejects her pursuer with a “hell no!” She clarifies that 'no' doesn't mean 'maybe'. That showing some skin doesn't equal 'yes'. And getting her drunk to cave in is icky. She keeps saying “if you don't get it”, since he doesn't. And she says it's okay for women to flaunt themselves. The song has a retro-ish sound, but it's too produced. The intro skips, and the verses have a circling piano. The first verse pounds, while the second one snaps. There's some claps, then the beat intensifies into the chorus, which is a bunch of bass blares and sax. The first chorus waits to drop the sloshy beat, while the later ones have less set-up. And the bridge is an impressive vocal showcase that leads to dramatic stomps, an “if you don't get it” breakdown”, and an “excuse my French” joke. The song also has broken rattles. The “JE ME CASSE” + sax hook is alright. And the backing vocals are like her friends responding. But the staging is a letdown. Destiny and the dancers hang around this ballet bar/light tube, with a reddish-pink LED behind them that has blinds and hallway shapes. Then it turns yellow during the chorus, where they do this floppy hand thing I don't care for. There's even a split screen of it. I like the glitter explosions during the bridge though. And there's a fire rain finale.

All of My Love vs. Je me casse

My Ranking:

01. Ukraine: Go_A - Shum ✓ 02. Russia: Manizha - Russian Woman ✓ 03. Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou - El Diablo ✓ 04. Romania: Roxen - Amnesia 05. Belgium: Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place ✓ 06. Croatia: Albina - Tick-Tock 07. Azerbaijan: Efendi - Mata Hari ✓ 08. Lithuania: The Roop - Discoteque ✓ 09. Malta: Destiny - Je me casse ✓ 10. Norway: Tix - Fallen Angel ✓

France: Tom Leeb - Mon alliée (The Best in Me) France has been putting in effort since 2016... excluding this year. And it's debatable whether the 2020 entries should count anyways. I expected the team of Thomas G:son, Amir, John Lundvik and Peter Boström to create something more interesting. Instead, this sounds like a Westlife ballad or an X Factor winner's song. The melody is so common and boring and the lyrics are cliché. It's a heartbreak ballad where Tom declares (in present tense) “you are the best in me!” Forever and eternally. He regrets what they never said to each other. He'll go to extremes to make their promises come true. And he calls them his ally, which is an odd term. The lyrics aren't that insightful though. Musically, the song starts delicate and gradually intensifies. The intro subtly vibrates, while the first verse only uses an acoustic guitar. Then the first chorus introduces the strings. The second verse adds stomps, a piano, and wooden echoes. The backing vocals amplify the next chorus, alongside some bucket drips. The strings turn dramatic in the bridge; then the song quiets into a cello solo, the final chorus brings out the choir (ugh), and there's a soft ending. Tom sounds emotionally vulnerable here, but the song is too formulaic, and the climax is too overproduced for the emotion to grab me. The acoustic guitar holds the chorus back too. I really dislike the English switches. And the “you are, you are, you are” hook is meh.

#30 odds/ #35 scoreboard app. A contender for last place in the final.

Germany: Ben Dolic - Violent Thing Borislav Milanov (or B-OK) ran Bulgaria's 2016-2020 peak, and he revived Azerbaijan and Malta in 2019. Germany definitely needed reviving after “Sister”. His compositions sound cool, slick, modern and catchy. And “Violet Thing” is exactly that. The intro contrasts chill steel drums with metal clangs and piano slams. Then the first verse cools off, alongside some high heel clacks. The pre-chorus turns nervous, with a jumping piano and lyric stutters. There's an addictive transition, where the production powers down and the drums tumble over. Then the funky guitar and claps drive the chorus, with a knocking drum hurdle midway, and the melody leaping out afterwards. It's an immersive chorus that flows freely; as if Ben is taking the plunge. The second verse submerges into a busy guitar and clock ticks. But the bridge is an afterthought - it quiets down, leading to a big falsetto note. I love the rubbing horns in the later choruses though, as well as the dramatic bangs in the outro. The song creates the image of a secret underground club. It's a flirtatious song that's both excited and chill. Ben is charming in a likeable, youthful, and harmless way. And the chorus is insanely catchy: “Oh. Don't. Tell. Your. MA-ma”... “cause if I got YOU with ME TONIIIIGHT”... “Ooh! You're such! A Violent! Thing!” In the lyrics, Ben's crush has a violent affect on him. They're so violent their mama can't know! His feelings are undeniable. Their eyes make him weak. He's knocked down like a domino. They seem to notice him. He's confident they'll show up again. He wants love, but they won't talk.

#10 odds/ #10 scoreboard app. I predict 9th-13th-ish. This would've made Germany's recent track record not look so bad.

Italy: Diodato - Fai rumore “Fai rumore” became a lockdown anthem in Italy, since the chorus shouts “MAKE NOISE!”, as Diodato desperately begs his estranged partner to end the uncomfortable silence. The meaning was adapted for the quiet loneliness of lockdown. In the lyrics, he remarks that he shouldn't be thinking, because thinking leads to agony and longing. And that he needs better coping methods. He keeps running away and going back to this person. He's unsure if they're right for him. He wanders silently and aimlessly. And he subconsciously returns to places he should avoid. The lyrics are introspective and honest about his flaws. Moreover, Diodato's vocals are very powerful and emotional, and the huge chorus melody really stands out. The song starts as a tearful piano ballad. Then the melody changes slightly in the pre-chorus. Then Diodato shouts the chorus to release the pain, as the strings hold still, the piano dings relentlessly, and there's a couple thunder crashes and Space Age-y sounds. That chorus gives me the chills – he sounds like he's on his knees. The “fai rumore... qui” hesitations are effective too. After that, the pre-chorus drowns in the strings until it shuts off. The second verse introduces the drums. The instrumental becomes very intense from the second chorus onward. There's an “ooh”-ing bridge. And the outro softens into howls and piano. This is the only AQ with a NF performance, but Sanremo staging is always nothing.

#6 odds/ #7 scoreboard app. Top 5 seems very likely, but I'm not 100% convinced it would've won. The song is 3:36 long, so it would've needed a shortened revamp.

Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy - Grow The lyrics have a good message, but the composition is boring. I like that Jeangu is completely honest about his flaws and he doesn't hide them. He admits to having mood swings and immature, emotional responses – such as acting unreasonable when sad and defenseless when alone. He says don't take it the wrong way, he's trying his hardest. Adulthood isn't what he expected. Time flies by too quickly. And he feels lost. But he changes his perspective in the bridge, saying he'll find peace of mind eventually. Then the final stanza is about growth, where he realizes how little he actually knows. The instrumental undergoes a similar journey. It starts minimal and it takes a while to get going. The first line is a cappella, while the first verse only has a faint vibration. Eventually, a subtle organ grows. Then the second verse adds these reverse audio cut-offs (like a bug zipping past your ear), while the backing hums lead to that cheesy “Satellites” part, with a rocket-launching whoosh afterwards. The rolling ticks appear next, with more backing vocals. Then, after a peaceful rest, the bridge changes the vibe. The song's final section has a very consuming sound. The foot stomps, the echoing hand claps, a different ticking beat, and the “Grow!” chants appear one at a time; as the Gospel voices and the instrumental grow louder. The song ends abruptly, however. I just find the song's texture really dull though and the quirky instrumental bits in the middle don't really work for me.

#13 odds/ #24 scoreboard app. I think this would've been a flop host entry.

Spain: Blas Cantó - Universo Blas's falsetto switch in the chorus is annoying, and the song is basic and forgettable. It gives 2016 EDM-pop vibes. The chorus has a decent escalation, but the subsequent “oh whoa-AH-oh” drop is underwhelming. Anyways, the intro whistle has an outer space wonderment vibe. This is followed by a light slam, some vocal squeals, a drum rattle, a “hey!”, and then the beat enters. The verses are driven by upward-pushing strings and kicks, with more rattles and some calmer “oh whoa oh” backing responses. Then the chorus jolts into a completely different vibe – Blas's voice turns desperate, the piano urgently pounds, and the kicks accelerate into the “drop”. Said “drop” contains showering synths, cracking claps, and more vocal squeals. The second verse adds extra percussion. The second drop stumbles at first. The bridge quiets into heartbeat thumps, glittery sounds, and calmer “oh whoa oh”s. Blas unleashes a falsetto scream upon the final chorus. And the instrumental drops out in the outro. In the lyrics, Blas keeps begging the “universe” (or a higher power) to forgive him. He confesses his flaws, just like Diodato and Jeangu. He stays silent in order to avoid taking responsibility for himself. He hides things out of fear, but the silence exposes the truth. He ties to disappear. He needs to listen to himself. He's unsure how he wound up this way. And his mind is too preoccupied for dreams.

#34 odds/ #25 scoreboard app. Probably the same result as “Voy a quedarme”.

United Kingdom: James Newman - My Last Breath Before Sam Ryder, the UK was sending very “mid”, bland, and safe songs. But being bland does not attract many votes. “My Least Breath” is definitely in that category. The song isn't bad; it's just very average and okay. Both verses start with a fired-up acoustic guitar, then an aggressive door-banging beat heightens things midway. The verses also contain windy whistle responses. The piano eases the pre-chorus. Then the chorus has a big melody and an overpowering instrumental, with the guitars and drums. And the bridge is a quieter break. The chorus is catchy, and I like how it crashes down during “DEEP. SEA. DIVERS.” and “Nuhhhh-thing Leeeeeft”. The “my last... breath!” pauses symbolize James running out of breath, but they interrupt the song's flow in an annoying way. And the “oh-wah-oh.. oh.. oh” post-chorus is lazy. The song has an 'overcoming the obstacles together' vibe, with a snowy wilderness image (thanks to the video). In the lyrics, James isn't giving up on the relationship, even if no one else would keep faith in the same situation. He's sure they'll overcome their issues. But the chorus is cliché and hyperbolic – he says, if they were both drowning with no rescue in sight, he'd sacrifice his own life to save them. He will be their lifeline. And he promises to be there during the rough times. The song lacks substance though.

#24 odds/ #30 scoreboard app. I would not be shocked if this got double “nul” points as well.

Greece: Stefania - Superg!rl W!th an exclamat!on po!nt! The Dream Team's instrumentals usually dominate their songs - those quivering, unstable “B-B-B-BR-BRR” bursts are LOUD and overbearing. But those bursts go hard and sound Greek. They're like a supernatural force overtaking you and your surroundings. After the approaching thunder-drum intro, the first one occurs right away (with castanets?) Then the verse minimizes to bass nudges and dull kicks; heightening midway. There's a slam, and the pre-chorus hums alongside light bucket drips, as Stefania's voice now jumps out. Another slam, and the little metal balls dropping accelerate; then a diversion of skipping broken ticks before the “drop” goes OFF with bass throbs. The drop also fills up with lyrics in the second half. Verse 2 quiets to traditional strings. And the bridge escalates via slicing strikes and an intense hum; leading to a big note, a haunting choir chant, horn roars, and one final drop. That bridge is my fave part. The song builds into the drops nicely, and I like the hazy atmosphere. But the comic book character metaphor is kinda cheesy. The “girl/world”; “power/tower” rhymes are filler. And “There's no wonder it takes a woman” is certainly a pun. The lyrics mention Clark Kent's phone booth, a “super car” and X-ray vision. Stefania says girls don't need that stuff to feel powerful and be themselves. The song is about female empowerment, finding your passion and identity in the darkness, and standing against the detractors. But the lyrics also sound like they're about a relationship, so the message is unfocused. Stefania acts as “your supergirl” to help humanity (as seen in the video).

My prediction: 80% (#19 odds/ #19 scoreboard app). This seems like a pretty safe qualifier. It stands out in a good way, but it's the kinda song that gets 17th-22nd place in the grand final. LIKELY.

Estonia: Uku Suviste - What Love Is “INEVERIMAGINEDTHEPOWER”... this rapid wordy chorus, where Uku crams too many syllables together, just does not work. I like when the “I neeeever kneeeew” slowdown cuts it off, but it's not enough. The song is too bland and dull. It begins with Uku taking a breath, then the first verse is a piano ballad, with this alien spaceship sound upon “beautiful surprises”. The intro has a night sky vibe. There's a heavy thud and an eerie wind, then the chorus initially holds back, with tickles and patters. Then, after a heartbeat thump, Uku's voice rises and the percussion forcefully stomp-splashes, creating a quiet/loud contrast. The post-chorus then adds strings. Verse 2 is less tense with sharper drums, until the pre-chorus. The second chorus jumps right into it. And the bridge copies the chorus lyrics, while the vocals and production reduce to a steam leak. But nothing about this production is that special. The lyrics are sappy too. Uku remarks on how mysterious and surprising life is. That he never understood his old self. And that his aspirations in life weren't about finding a partner. Then he lists a bunch of examples of how you don't know something until you experience it. He was unaware of the power and necessity of love until now. It's a bit cringe how Uku takes his epiphany SO seriously; like this awakening was SO important. The dramatic production doesn't help either. This is the kind of song where I'm just waiting for it to be over. The Eesti Laul staging was boring too.

My prediction: 10% (#38 odds/ #38 scoreboard app). The least likely qualifier of SF2 imo. The song is a forgettable nothing-burger, and it was given the worst running order spot. NO CHANCE.

Austria: Vincent Bueno - Alive Austria are in their jury bait era. “Alive” is just too calculated and soulless for me. It's like the songwriters are showing off their polished technical craft, but in doing so, I cannot connect to the song. Vincent channelling Justin Timberlake leaves me feeling cold too. And the song's intro is pretentious. It spreads a message of freeing yourself from shackled thrones, and how we're all heroes behind our egos. While the piano is like elevator music, with brief subtle strings and echoes of “screaming”, which puts focus on Vincent's vocal flexing. The way he yells “SHACKLE BOLTS” annoys me. Weirdly, the rest of the lyrics are basic. He repeatedly says this person makes him feel alive again... and that's about it. He doesn't need much to ignite his mood, so prepare for “fire shots”. After that intro shuts down, the murky bass emerges, the computerized claps accelerate, there's a windy whoosh, and the funky bass-line takes over, briefly pulling the brakes on “hey!” The post-chorus adds showering synths as the melody fills out, ending on a crackle. Verse 2 maintains the momentum (and adds door knocks) until a synth blare; then the pre-chorus drops down and builds back up. The bridge emphasizes the bass-line, where Vincent whispers. And the song abruptly returns to the intro at the end, where the monarch is overthrown. The production is filled with quirky sounds. I like the funky bass and the “you make me feel like... oh oh oh” build-ups, but the “alive again x2” hook is annoying. The song has a self-confident vibe though.

My prediction: 50% (#31 odds/ #26 scoreboard app). I could see the juries pushing Austria through... and then they would receive <10 televote points in the grand final. “Amen” was only 11th with the juries, but “Alive” is more dynamic. The upbeat songs have an advantage in SF2 as well. It's very borderline though. BORDERLINE IN.

Moldova: Natalia Gordienko - Prison I prefer the studio version. With Dream Team productions being so dominant, Natalia needs a more powerful live vocal. She also awkwardly walks around some LED chairs and copies “Bulletproof”'s staging. The song opens with a dramatic slam, while a whistling flute alternates sides. Then the verse piano tickles, with a couple snowy echoes. Another slam and the bass hums, ending on a windy gasp. Another slam and the pre-chorus jumps out; intensifying midway after a rattle. Then the dark bubbling synth takes over, with plenty of chain clangs and electrical scatters. This chorus sounds like a large, dark, echoing prison. The whole “I don't want to be with/without you” repetition feels empty though. The chorus heightens upon the “PRISON!” yelp, where the flute returns. There's a breather afterwards. The synths arrive earlier the second time. The bridge is a bunch of screams appearing one at a time. And the production goes crazy at the end. It's a very entrapping atmosphere. The louder parts represent Natalia losing her mind, and the lyrics showcase her indecisiveness in wanting this person. There's a lot of “I don't want to...”s, and repeating lines with extra words. That “IdontwannaFEEL... you” melody also channels “Hijo de la luna”. She doesn't want to fight “inside”. She's trapped by the memories. She wishes for solitary confinement. The relationship feels like a prison. She doesn't want to be needy or desperate. These lyrics lack depth and Natalia's emotion seems unconvincing. The production is epic, but this sound only exists in K*rkorov's head; much like Russia 2014 & 2016.

My prediction: 25% (#33 odds/ #40 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception, but Moldova are known for staging glow-ups, and Kontopoulos & K*rkorov have only NQ'ed once (Azerbaijan 2018). Still, I just don't see it happening with that NF performance. “Sugar”'s placing surprised me, but that had meme potential. UNLIKELY.

San Marino: Senhit - Freaky! Yeah... Senhit had the biggest upgrade in 2021. “Freaky!” cranks the camp factor up to an 11. I mean, she sells it, and it's a high energy upbeat song. But the chorus is annoying, particularly the “FREAKY! FREAKY! FREAKY!” group chants, with the percussion slaps. The song sounds tacky and cheap. And it's another dated disco instrumental from San Marino. The humming intro is like a pretty sunrise. The tiny guitar pings, “body” echoes, and finger snaps continue this peaceful vibe. I like how the opening verse melody hangs on – it's different from the rest of the song. Then, a helicopter flutters by, and the drums and funky bass take over, with some brake screeches. The chorus adds disco strings and synth vomits. Then the intro verse returns. Then it's the chorus again. And the bridge is a disco instrumental break, leading to a group chant moment, and a power down effect. The backing singers sound like they're at a party. But the second half of the song keeps repeating the same 3 stanzas, as if they ran out of ideas. And Senhit sings the “freaky”s and “And life goes by...” with a mocking tone. In the lyrics, she's smitten. Her whole body feels a sensation from this person's touch. The couple are into PDA's, and people call them “freaky”, and think she's pretending to like it (does “freaky” imply public sex?) But they don't care. They like being freaky! They'll break the rules! Life is too short! The song has a 'free yourself and party' kinda vibe. But the more I listen to it, the more annoying and empty it is.

My prediction: 10% (#37 odds/ #41 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. The song is too kitschy and dated, and San Marino struggles to qualify most years anyways. This is a contender for last place in the semi. The staging would have to be incredible to save it. NO CHANCE.

Czech Republic: Benny Cristo - Kemama I love that Czechia chose an Afro-beats song. It's not a genre you often hear in Eurovision. But “Kemama” isn't very catchy, is it? The “I wasn't always like that / I wasn't born like that...” build-up is great (with the sliced-up bangs afterwards), but it builds to nothing. The chorus is flat. It's a 'chill vibes only' kinda song though. It opens with a summery guitar and dull synth drips, as Benny lists the producer tags. Then (a subdued version of) the chorus starts things off, with restless taps, little guitar twiddles, and bead shaker swipes. Things intensify with Benny's raised voice and the claps. Then the pre-chorus synths stop/start to build hype. And the new chorus percussion skips along. The second verse/chorus are elevated by horns. The bridge is a foot-dance drum breakdown, then he shouts the last chorus transition. And a wild outdoor drum commotion finishes things off. There's a lot going on in this instrumental, but it's never too much. The lyrics involve Benny and his mother reversing roles - he's now giving her advice. He reassures her he'll be okay. She needn't worry what others say about him. He's become independent with a big heart. He refutes the idea he's “lost his way” - no, he's sure of himself. He'll prove them wrong. He asserts he worked 24/7 to get here. He was bullied as a child, but was resilient thanks to his mother's advice. And now he just wants to dance and enjoy life – there's no need for fighting and prejudice. I like the message at least. I just wish it stood out more.

My prediction: 35% (#26 odds/ #34 scoreboard app). This sounds like nothing else in the contest, so it could be a shock Q. His Vidbir 2020 performance of “Kemama” was much better than whatever that trainwreck was in Eurovision 2021. But I don't think it's catchy enough to Q. UNLIKELY.

Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista This is fun and catchy but it's kinda monotonous. I love the fierce attitude though. The narrator leaves her cheating partner by throwing that Arnold quote in his face! She takes control and decides when it's over: “1, 2, 3 and it's the end! Your time is up!”; “Take it or leave it!”. She blames him for her insomnia. They don't even talk to each other. He can't handle her 'craziness'. And she says he made the wrong choice. “Oh, well, sorry you didn't like me”! Hurricane expresses 0 regrets or doubts here. He blew his chances and they refuse to compromise - it's not “vanity”, it's self-respect. The song has a 'I'm so much better off now' vibe. The instrumental paints the image of the trio fleeing on motorbikes. Maybe he was cheating with all 3 lol. The intro sounds like a vibrating tailpipe that cuts off. Then the Blackpink horns and claps hype things up, as the song swirls up and down. Then, after some glitchy beeps, the trap-y verses kick, buzz, roar and glitch. The pre-chorus switches to a clappy build-up, ending on a deep vocal distortion. Then the chorus speeds/bounces forward with drum rattles; pulling back for catchy stutter responses. The verses also have responses. The post-chorus is like the pre-verse. Verse #2 completely stops twice for submerged vocal bits. And the bridge is a bigger clappy build-up, but it doesn't build to anything new. In Beovizija, Hurricane have great stage presence. That version adds army boot stomps, while the LED keeps displaying “HURRICANE”, and shows an army of women at the end.

My prediction: 75% (#23 odds/ #20 scoreboard app). This is basically the same song as “Loco Loco” so I expect the same result. It's catchy and they had a solid live performance in 2021. Plus, Serbia sounds like a step-up after the last few songs in the running order. LIKELY.

Poland: Alicja - Empires This sounds like a James Bond theme, and I mean that as a positive. The violin intro paints the image of Alicja standing in the ruins after her city burned down. It sets a mournful mood with the somber piano. There's a light thump, then the orchestral strings flicker on/off and tip-toe. The pre-chorus quickly increases the volume. Then the drums take over the chorus, with idle strings, changing the mood into feeling powerless watching this tragedy unfold; until it falls into a thud on “rise and fall”. Verse 2 adds waddling footsteps. The next chorus has a dramatic jittery start. The bridge quiets to piano and cello. The piano slows to a stop before the final chorus. And Alicja ends on a huge scream. The song is about climate change (as seen in the video), and how the world's empires are close to crumbling down. Every empire in history fell at some point. We're not immune. Alicja remarks that it happens so easily and asks if it's our fault. She feels guilty for staying in an escapist reality. She says we hope for change but we don't do it. And she cries “We just want it all”! There's also several idioms: “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” (we'll be a part of Earth again someday), “Fool's gold” (our possessions have fake value), “Moths to a flame” (we're addicted to harmful stuff). Maybe it's preachy in saying our lifestyles will lead to destruction, but Alicja sings with genuine concern. I also like her distinct vocal and the song's dire atmosphere. The NF performance looks like karaoke night with the scrolling lyrics.

My prediction: 50% (#20 odds/ #23 scoreboard app). Poland is usually a televote-friendly country, and this is a jury-friendly song, so... win/win? SF2 is more ballad-heavy, but I think her voice makes this one stand out. Although this would probably flop in the grand final. That NF staging needs improvement too. BORDERLINE IN.

Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things “Baybay... I. Can't. Wait. To. Know.” No, he's talking to an actual baby (his newborn daughter.) Dadi is curious to know what she's thinking about, since he can't understand her yet. He promises to always be there, so she can tell him anytime! He wonders if she loves him back. And he says they're bonded forever, despite her essentially being a stranger. Dadi acts like babies can comprehend parental relationships. But I read these lyrics as sweet and not weird. Babies are an unknown, so it's natural to wonder who they'll grow up to be. The song itself has a nostalgic sound and a relaxing family time mood. It remains low-key the entire time, but still reaches a climax. Dadi's unusual vocal style and the harmonies are hypnotic too. There's a drowsy intro, with the mircowave-y vapor puffs and minimalist vocals, while this antsy wiggly thing grows. Then the synth 'pow's, the moving bass taps, the stationary foot taps, the backing “ah uh ah uh...”, and a quick drum 'ta-t-ta' get things moving (in that order). The verses move to a funky guitar and snaps. Then, after a double slap, the droopy chorus follows a bass guitar groove, as the snaps return midway. An excited horn break follows this, ending on a rolling drum. The next pre-chorus drops down. Chorus #2 is fuller. And the bridge horns anticipate the climactic final “BAAAABBY”. Those “BABY!” hooks are great. The Söngvakeppnin staging definitely stands out - the green pajamas, the pixelated faces, the strange instruments, the sideways struts, the face turns. This is a quirky entry, but a charming and polished one. And the song's groove/rhythm is very interesting and unique.

My prediction: 99% (#4 odds/ #3 scoreboard app). Probably the SF2/grand final televote winner as well. The juries had Iceland pretty high in 2021, so yeah, I think this would've been the Eurovision 2020 winner. LOCKED.

Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi I initially found this boring. But it captures a feeling of existential dread really well. It's a relatable message in today's world. In the lyrics, Gjon asks life's unanswerable questions. He starts small with why does rain exist? But soon turns serious with why does death exist? He also mentions being separated from his family, and feeling like a stranger in his new and old homes (his parents are from Albania and Kosovo). He later asks why do we keep running? Why do we pray differently? And why future generations are screwed. In the chorus, Gjon is tired of guessing and begs for answers – and no BS ones. But there's no resolution; we're all stuck guessing forever. The verses repeat every question, showing how unrelenting they are. He doesn't beat around the bush either. The song moves very slowly and it has a very serious tone. But Gjon's vulnerability makes it work. He projects sadness really well. And it's a very personal song. The intro is this vibrating hum that lingers for a bit, like white noise. The first verse continues this uneasy silence, only adding tiny guitar pings, and a piano midway. While the chorus inserts strings, “ah uh AHHH...” hooks, and ends on a falsetto scream. The percussion waits until verse 2 to arrive, where the echoing snaps and stomps convey painful frustration. Chorus #2 adds a bleak soldier-marching snare and echoing strikes. And the bridge falls into silence before Gjon screams over the last chorus – I love this climax. His vocals are great too. I can really feel the emotion in this.

My prediction: 99% (#3 odds/ #2 scoreboard app). And this is probably the SF2/grand final jury winner. I mean, Gjon did just that in 2021. Plus, if he can communicate the message through the staging, this will have televote appeal. But will we get two sadboy ballad Eurovision winners in a row? LOCKED.

Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes This is so aggressively catchy. Depending on my mood, “Yes” is either a banger or it's annoying AF. The chorus is a super potent singalong that's impossible to ignore - every single word of it pops out. It's also excessively upbeat. So, Denmark takes us back to the mid-2010s folk-pop trend. The song starts with acoustic guitar slaps and a stomp-along beat, while Ben & Tan trade leads. The verse winds down upon “give life one more chance”. Then, after a “HEY!” shout, the chorus heightens and occupies the entire surroundings. This part conveys how overwhelmingly strong their feelings are. There's fluttering claps, more stomps, emphatic “SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!” releasing shouts that echo across the arena, and an “ooooh” post-chorus that sounds like bagpipes. Verse 2 introduces the violent strikes (that hit the ground full force from excitement), which reappear later on. The bridge reduces to minimal guitar, before one last “ooooh” creates an epic build into the final chorus - I like that pause when it hits. And the song ends on a softer moment. The lyrics are straightforward. It's about them giving love (or life?) another chance despite what they're dealing with. Tan felt bitter, sad, and lonely because she would've died for her ex. While Ben was controlled by fear and didn't think he could be happy while sober. But everything's changed now they've found each other! The archery lyric goes with the folk song imagery too. In the audience-less DMGP final, the LED flashes “YES”, while Ben & Tan have strategic stage positioning.

My prediction: 85% (#15 odds/ #17 scoreboard app). This is WAAAY too catchy and polished to not make it, and their DMGP performance was pretty solid. Juries love catchy radio pop as well. I predict top 15 in the final. LOCKED.

Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky I don't mind if Albania keeps sending female ballads. Arilena's powerful voice really elevates this one, even if the cliché wings metaphor weakens the chorus a bit. She makes that chorus impactful regardless, with the “SKY-Y-Y-Y-UH-Y” cries and “HOLD BACK... MY WINGS...” pauses. She sings with SO much conviction, like she's fighting for her life. I can hear her suffering. And she sounds like Katy Perry lol. Her voice also dominates over the instrumental. Which makes sense, since Arilena is regaining her autonomy from an abusive partner. She hides all the pain they caused, in order to deny them the satisfaction that the absue “worked”. They made her doubt her faith. They lied. They controlled her. But she's resilient! I love when Arilena switches to anger in the bridge - it shows she's no longer afraid. The Albanian version is much darker, where murder seems like the only escape. But the revamped instrumental is more dramatic and... harsh I guess? There's a sharp, ice cold piano intro that slows down. Then, after a rumble, the piano dejectedly softens, before picking itself up. There's a cymbal crash, the chorus strings weep, and the drums and metallic echoes summon strength within. Verse 2 adds a woodblock, and skip-splashes at the end. The bridge breaks free. Then the tension builds with strings and drum bangs, until it breaks upon “FLYYYYY”. The icy piano returns, there's a loud strike, the drums/strings resume, and she literally “screams inside” in a big note. That last chorus transition is so good. Finally, the song crashes down and the outro goes a cappella.

My prediction: 60% (#28 odds/ #18 scoreboard app). This probably would've placed... 17th in the grand final. Albania's female ballads are usually borderline qualifiers, but Arilena's vocals and the big dramatic chorus should be enough. BORDERLINE IN.

Finland: Aksel - Looking Back Last year, Finland said “Look Away”, this year they're “Looking Back”! This one is a personal, heartfelt ballad, where Aksel provides a comforting, sentimental vocal. The lyrics are relatable too. It's about the uneasiness of growing up, and how we don't appreciate our youth until it's over... and then we're nostalgic for it. We're too fixated on achieving a dream job (the “high life”) or on current woes (the “low lights”). Aksel also reminisces over his youth – sharing dreams with friends; the impatience to turn 18; being naive, clueless and confused about stuff; going to parties; acting carelessly. These memories give him comfort. Indeed, the song has a 'don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened' kinda vibe. There's a chilly wind intro, then the first verse is a calm piano ballad, as the autumn winds reappear. A shimmer starts the chorus, where the “HIIIIGH LIFE”/ “LOOOW LIGHTS” shouts hang off a cliff, and the following line relaxes. It isn't the catchiest chorus ever, but it's fine. Verse 2 introduces the dense, stuttering kicks (like a dribbling basketball); which turn splashy in the next pre-chorus. Chorus 2 is fuller and maintains the kicks. But there's no bridge, and that chorus is repeated for a full minute, where nothing changes. I wish there was more *to* this song. The outro reduces to little guitar echoes. Aksel's UMK performance seems heartfelt. The LED shows moving dashes, red lights (to match that lyric), and chalk drawings of kids hanging out and dating.

My prediction: 45% (#27 odds/ #33 scoreboard app). This could be a shock qualifier because of the the juries, but I'm not convinced the televote would go for this. There's so many ballads in the second half, and I don't see this surpassing Poland or Albania. BORDERLINE OUT.

Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You Eurovision mostly avoids trap music, so this is refreshing. Athena's confident attitude, her flow (“I start it, I make it...”), her “yuh yuh yuh”s, the slurred auto-tuned “diamonds on you”, the “chains on chains on you” mumbles, and the background “woo”s and breathing are what trap needs. She can't sound stiff. Plus the production constantly adds or removes layers at the right moments. It's never overdone or messy. The most prominent layer is the steel drum loop. It starts in the intro and moves ominously in single steps. There's a creepy finger-fidget descent, then the scraping trap beat arrives, with broken metal rattles added in next. The pre-chorus bass bubbles, with a gunshot midway, then the rattles return. The next part switches to claps, bass pulls, and alarm roars. The music stops on the unclear words, then the chorus resumes the first beat. The 2nd verse adds a rapid 'eh-eh-eh' thing. Then the beat minimizes to introduce the frosty warnings. The next clappy part removes the bass midway. The bridge is a bunch of dramatic bangs and muffled “hurt me”s. And the outro electrifies. It's a dark and dangerous, bass-heavy instrumental. It paints the image of meeting up in a sketchy place at night. In the song, Athena knows her admirer has naughty intentions. But she's in control and sets the terms – he must accept she's independent and ambitious. She doesn't care if he leaves. The diamonds are a metaphor for self-worth, since they only shine on her. He assumes she's not interested, but Athena turns seductive in the clappy parts, using “boy” lures and “hurt me!”s. She'll put him in chains too! How kinky. She shows 0 nerves sitting next to him either. The national final had poor sound quality, but there's male dancers and a throne.

My prediction: 60% (#22 odds/ #15 scoreboard app). I think this would've been the “Hvala, ne!” of 2020. It would benefit from the second half having so many ballads, and it sounds modern. It's a polarizing genre, but that might actually help it stand out. It probably wouldn't do much in the grand final though. BORDERLINE IN.

Portugal: Elisa - Medo de sentir This might be the most forgettable entry of 2020. The rising “eeeEEEE” hooks stand out, but the melody is weak and it's a generic FDC ballad. The song is just boring to me. Elisa's delivery seems heartfelt though. She's afraid to love again because of previous failed relationships. She rejects anyone who invites her in. Their gestures make her nervous. Their “I love you”s sound fake, and she doesn't believe they'll stay. Her loneliness won't stop. But she wasn't always putting her guard up. In the bridge, she ultimately asks if they'll wait for her, meaning she hasn't given up. I get the sense she wants to change. The song opens with a “da-DA-da-DA-dun” piano sequence, and it remains a depressed piano ballad for the first verse, while Elisa gives a gentle and vulnerable vocal. The verse ends with a “tah-ha ha-ha” and an “mm-hmm”. Then the chorus introduces the foot thuds, as the piano becomes louder. The instrumental stops midway, then a subtle woodblock appears. Verse #2 adds the strings. Chorus #2 adds the triple drum bangs. Then the pace finally picks up in the bridge, where the drums roam free. This leads to a big note climax, as the piano/drum bangs escalate - it's the moment when Elisa has had enough. The song goes silent afterwards, until the slices appear. And the last chorus has thunderous drums. But this instrumental isn't the most interesting. And the song isn't noticeable enough. Elisa gives an emotional performance in FDC. She sings to the pianist at one point.

My prediction: 20% (#36 odds/ #32 scoreboard app). I think this is too forgettable to qualify, and the other ballads in SF2 have more going for them. UNLIKELY.

Georgia: Tornike Kipiani - Take Me as I Am This just isn't my thing. Tornike's screaming is grating (especially the long notes and the “ME” and “GERMAN” growls). The song is excruciatingly slow. The instrumental feels like I'm drowning in quicksand. And the lyrics call out anti-Georgian xenophobia by... listing stereotypes of other countries. So basically, Tornike is whining about Europe not loving Georgia's Eurovision entries. He's discouraged from being himself, and expected to assimilate to western culture. But he'd rather be authentic, and loved for that. The lyrics only mention the Big 5 countries, so I guess he's mad they get a free pass, while Georgia NQs. In the chorus, the female backing says “I love you” in those 5 languages to give him validation. I get Tornike's point, but it comes across like he's guilt-tripping us into sympathizing with him. As for the production, the intro guitar is like static electricity scattering. Then the verse starts restrained, with deep guitar, deep vocals, and buzzing bass; like we're deep underground. But once the song shifts, his voice changes, and the intense background is overwhelming AF - it's like standing next to a vacuum cleaner. It's just a stationary wall of noise. The percussion kicks, echoes and bone-cracks also move slowly. The chorus doesn't offer any variation, and the long “youuuu”s and “aaaaam”s drag on. Verse 2 thankfully pauses the vacuum, if only briefly, for some subtler sounds. Chorus 2 adds the orchestra. And the song ends with a horn and a cymbal.

My prediction: 45% (#14 odds/ #27 scoreboard app). This is the hardest one to predict. People will either love it or hate it. But Georgia's other left-field entries didn't qualify (like 2012, 2014, 2019, and 2022) and I think the juries would tank this too. BORDERLINE OUT.

Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober Billie Eilish's influence didn't take long to reach Eurovision. Victoria uses a similar minimalist vocal style, and the backing “mHmHm”s mimic Billie's vocal layering. But this combination creates a cool texture regardless. “TGS” opens with those ghostly hums alternating sides; followed by an icy 'ding... ding... ↓wind down↓'. Then Victoria's voice and the bare piano are very intimate and personal. The humming returns for the chorus, with some “i-uh-i-uh-i” hooks, but it's still pretty bare. Verse 2 adds a tiny harp(?) that ticks like a clock. The new pre-chorus has a backing wail. The next chorus adds the strings, pausing for an “mHmHm” midway. And the bridge recoils into this quivering thing. But then... the strings grow (thru the “GROOOW” climax) and fall down, the horns rise back up, and that final chorus gives me the chills. Victoria's voice and the orchestra breathtakingly soar, with a midway rise-up. The song quiets upon “scar”; ending with a clarinet(?) and one last hum. “TGS” is a modernized version of the grand, sophisticated ballads of the past. It does a good job of holding back patiently until the climax. In the lyrics, Victoria sarcastically says “great!” - her mental health is affecting her 10 times a day. She knows she has to let go of the pain and the burden. She'll move on in time, but the scar leaves a mark. There's a couple of unusual phrases, like “sugar in my wounds” instead of salt, implying they're sweet lies. Plus the song title – I guess “sober” means “dry”. And the dirt metaphor comparing her to a plant. Later in the song, Victoria is amazed by her growth. It's her first time trying too! And the grandiose finale symbolizes her transformation.

My prediction: 99% (#1 odds/ #4 scoreboard app). It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, and this would do really well with juries. The Billie Eilish vibes might appeal to the televoters too, since that makes it modern. She could just sit on a bench like the music video, and I think it would work. LOCKED.

Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing WTF is this drop? It sounds like an elephant struggling to sneeze; with glass shatters thrown in. It's so rigid and it keeps getting blocked off in an unsatisfying way. Which is a shame, because I like the rest of the song. It has a good message - as long as you're still alive, it's not too late to grow or change. The recurring, circling, distant chants of “I will keep on going / I will keep on running...” are a mantra to motive yourself, believe in yourself, and control your destiny. The chants sound resolute and ominous; like they're coming from a poorly lit, abandoned gym. The song opens and closes with them. The intro also leaks steam midway, followed by irregular clock ticks. Then the kick-clap trap beat takes over, while ejecting several blares. The verses swing in midair, and the trap beat remains in the later chants. There's another leak, then the popping squeaks and the backing responses anticipate the drop. Verse 2 reduces to those squeaks before the beat returns. Samanta raps over the second drop. There's a breather before building to the third. And the song ends on a 'DO-DO-DO-DO'. So, Samanta felt like giving up and staying in bed. Her life was going nowhere. But she's not looking back anymore. Now she pushes herself to improve everyday. The build-up into the drop signals her growing strength. And the rap section mentions her ambition and self-love. There's also that “Life is music/I am a composer” lyric lol. In Supernova, the 3 backing singers wore face shields and used spray bottles... it was 2020 after all. The flashing lights are overwhelming though.

My prediction: 40% (#35 odds/ #21 scoreboard app). I think this is just too experimental for Eurovision. That “drop” might instantly turn some people off, particularly the juries. Also, “The Moon Is Rising” was last place in the semi, and Latvia has one of the worst qualification records. And I can't see BOTH Armenia and Latvia qualifying. But... it does stand out, so BORDERLINE OUT.

Predictions recap... Locked: Iceland, Switzerland, Bulgaria, Denmark Likely: Greece, Serbia Borderline in: Armenia, Albania, Austria, Poland Borderline out: Georgia, Finland, Latvia Unlikely: Czechia, Moldova, Portugal No chance: Estonia, San Marino

SF2 Winner: Iceland Jury winner: Switzerland or Bulgaria Televote winner: Iceland Last place: San Marino

My Ranking:

01. Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið - Think About Things 02. Bulgaria: Victoria - Tears Getting Sober 03. Armenia: Athena Manoukian - Chains on You 04. Switzerland: Gjon's Tears - Répondez-moi 05. Poland: Alicja - Empires 06. Albania: Arilena Ara - Fall from the Sky 07. Serbia: Hurricane - Hasta la vista 08. Latvia: Samanta Tīna - Still Breathing 09. Finland: Aksel - Looking Back 10. Denmark: Ben and Tan - Yes

Sweden: The Mamas - Move John Lundvik's backing singers are now the headliners! But, just like with “Too Late for Love”, all the personality and emotion comes from the performers, and not the robotic, sterile Swedish composition. The Mamas' harmonies are stellar (“oh-OH-oh-OH LIFE”; “DAMN RIGHT!”; “WE'RE MOVING MOUNTAINS!”) And their uplifting, supportive voices express unconditional love. They turn “Move” into a giant group hug. There's 0 negativity here. The song opens with distorted “uh-ah-ooh”s, a calm piano, and a slam. The piano continues with some squeals; then the bass and snaps come in. The pre-chorus skips around (“evEN whEN the RAIN is FALLing”). Then the chorus slam-stops, pulling back into a hum for a moment, before escalating with claps/pounds. There's another pause, then the bangs run wild, with a bunch of “uh ah ooh”s on repeat. The 2nd chorus claps start earlier. The bridge is almost a cappella – with just claps until the organ appears, leading to a “whoa-oh-ah-oh” vocal climax. And the song ends on a closing slam. The hooks and the shout-out loud chorus are effective. The lyrics promise support and assurance when things turn bad. Why? Because their partner does the same. It's alright if we try and fail; we wipe the tears and become stronger. The chorus uses hyperbolic cliches to show devotion (like moving mountains!) The Melfest staging was simple. It mostly used spotlights. I liked when they leaned during “Damn right!” though. And they brought positive energy and great chemistry.

My fave Melfest 2020 entry was, of course, Dotter's “Bulletproof”, which lost by 1 point! I also loved “Kingdom Come”, “Brave”, and “Ballerina” (robbed). “Boys with Emotions” had a nice message too. The rest of the final was kinda underwhelming though. I also completely forgot about “Carpool Karaoke”. 💀

My prediction: 99% (#12 odds/ #12 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. And considering Sweden's track record from 2011+, this is LOCKED.

Belarus: VAL - Da vidna #StandWithUkraine

Belarus's last non-rejected entry sounded weak at first – the production is too toned-down, especially the “drop”. But it creates a peaceful mood that's kinda mournful and kinda hopeful. The production is very late-2010s electronic. The distorted squeals in the intro are like painful harsh cries. The song also starts with a peaceful piano. The first verse adds soft taps and more distortions, then the snaps and bubbly synths come in. The latter are more apparent at the end of the verse. I also like the rising 'daaaa d-DA-DA' verse melody. The chorus submerges at first with stiff blunt synths and rattling ticks, then the vocals amplify midway, as the beat accelerates into the “drop”, which is this squealing siren. The build-up works for me. Verse 2 keeps the rattling ticks, and the vocals become more intense. And the bridge submerges similarly. In the lyrics, Valeria questions why her mother forced her into a relationship she didn't choose. There's season metaphors – braiding and un-braiding autumn; paths obscured by winter snow. The night is full of secrets and passion. But the song focuses on the dawn, when she'll be free. Hence the peaceful vibe. She also reflects on growing up too fast (a white rose blooming early). The NF performance is fine, but could be more polished. There's twirling hands, hip thrusts, 'okay' hand signs on the eyes, a chain armour thing on Valeria's head, and she gets physically close to the other two members.

My prediction: 25% (#40 odds/ #31 scoreboard app). In such a strong semi-final, this would've been forgotten about. Especially being 2nd in the running order. UNLIKELY.

Australia: Montaigne - Don't Break Me Not even a NF can stop DNA Songs! “Don't Break Me” is an annoying and overproduced song, but at least the lyrics describe a toxic relationship accurately and insightfully. Montaigne's fading romantic feelings are replaced with fear. They feel taken for granted. They've given so much and stretched themselves thin. But, upon the beat switch, they can't take it anymore! They plead “don't break me down”!; because they're made of glass, not elastic! (kind of a silly metaphor). But it seems to fall on deaf ears. Montaigne's partner brings up their own trauma instead hearing them out. Montaigne also says love should be a compromise and equal effort. Only one of them is employed. But Montaigne loves them too much to give up. This song is venting out despair. The first verse moves in anxious cloudy patters and constant guitar pokes, with a few tunnel voices. Then the pre-chorus slams down in this angry, growling, grumbling way that catches me off-guard. But the chorus itself is a let down – it's a boring modern trap-y heavy drum beat, which pauses and sinks back down a couple times. The chorus vocal/melody is really annoying too, and they sing the verses weirdly. Verse #2 starts with a synth warning, before turning trap-y as well. While the bridge is an extended pre-chorus. I don't care for the NF performance either. The camera work and the choreo make me dizzy and Montaigne is dressed like a clown, with a ruffled collar, blue wig, and blush. I guess they're the clown in the relationship. They walk like a marionette at one point. And swing their limbs while being lifted up.

My prediction: 45% (#16 odds/ #14 scoreboard app). They would need to improve the staging and the vocals. It's between Australia and Belgium for the last qualifier spot, and my gut says it's Belgium. BORDERLINE OUT.

North Macedonia: Vasil - You NM's delegation must've been like: “Yay we finally made top 10! Now we don't gotta try anymore!” Because this is the most obvious NQ. “You” is a bland song that doesn't have much going for it. The melody and the instrumental don't grab me enough. There's a long tunnel voice intro (like a distant indecipherable echo), then the bubbling synth boops take over, with a tingly instrument at one point. The pre-chorus brings in the accordion, claps, and a guitar flick sequence. Then the song stops, and the forgettable “drop” hits – which is this grinding motorized bass, with a glossy beat. It also pauses and heightens midway. The “DANCE... WITH YOU” hesitations are a meh hook though. Verse #2 adds a beat to the boops. Chorus #2 starts with a double clap. The bridge returns to the tunnel voice, mixed with helicopter flutters, leading to a long “TOOOOOOOOOOONIGHT” and thundery drums. But the sped-up outro is the only part that gets interesting. The song is too innocuous overall. Its energy is very mild. The lyrics don't have anything interesting to say either. Vasil holds trembling hands with this person. Their eyes are magnetic. He invites them to dance in the moment, because they may never see each other again. They kiss. He wants more. Maybe the staging would involve Vasil dancing with someone. I doubt it would be enough to save it though.

My prediction: 10% (#29 odds/ #37 scoreboard app). Too bland and forgettable. It's also my prediction for last place. NO CHANCE.

Slovenia: Ana Soklič - Voda “Voda” has an epic Balkan Ballad chorus, but I'm left wanting more from the song. The water drip sounds are tacky too, and they detract from the wintry atmosphere. The intro is cinematic, with an icy sharp piano and tense strings that swell up. The verse starts bare, with a slow piano and low frosty pings. Then the strings reemerge and grow. The chorus, by contrast, is explosive and extensive: Ana screams “VOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” alongside trap-y broken metal ticks, more strings, and a drum bang bit. Verse #2 adds subtle taps and wooden echoes. And I love when she loses restrain in the bridge. The chorus melody works for me; the big vocals and strings elevate it. But this is a slow-moving song and the climax (the bridge) happens too late. The lyrics, meanwhile, revolve around a water metaphor. Ana pushes the subject to move on to new times and places; to not stop on the long journey; to go beyond light and belief. She remarks that the longest path is turning words into action. And that there's a broken chair waiting for a child (huh?) In the chorus, she affirms that the gushing water won't affect them – she'll stick with them through the storm. The water is the root of her endless unease. I don't really understand the verses though. There isn't much to say about the EMA performance, but there must've been a revamp. The first verse is longer, the production is slightly different, and the song just... ends before the bridge. I like the studio version better.

My prediction: 15% (#41 odds/ #39 scoreboard app). Very poor fan reception. Maybe the juries praise her vocals, but I doubt the televote would compensate enough. NO CHANCE.

Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire I don't think this would've won, but it could've been Lithuania's first top 5. It's a very catchy song and the production has a cool vibe. The music starts with spread-out piano slams, followed by finger snaps, leading to a shimmer-stop on “ooh-ooh-ooh”. Then the Milky Chance “Stolen Dance”-like beat takes over – with wobbly bass burps, guitar pokes, and scissor slices. The song's rhythm chugs and bobs up-and-down from here-on-out. The music reduces to just bass burps before the “drop”, then the “drop” adds this addictive squealing siren to the mix (like a firetruck?) Verse #2 pulls back to just guitar and ticks; before the beat returns for the “la la la la”s, heightening midway. And the bridge cuts back to the bass again. It's a very murky atmosphere; like a room filled with smoke, but not in a dangerous way. I love the song's smooth vibe and propulsive rhythm. The “la la la la”s and “THE HEAT IS GETTING HIGHER” hooks are great too. That chorus sounds like rising heat. In the lyrics, Vaidotas defies being told he's too old for personal growth. He's not a stone, he's free to change and move. He knows he's strong enough to achieve this. It took him a while to take action but no one can stop him now. The fire represents his desire and passion. The PiN staging is definitely memorable, with the magnifying glasses, mirrored split-screens, wild arm swings, and fingers behind his head. The choreo is very wacky and he has quirky stage presence. But it isn't cringe. He's just having fun with it.

My prediction: 99% (#2 odds/ #1 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. Also one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020, so it's LOCKED.

Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life This song kinda sounds like Kelly Clarkson's “Stronger”. The dance-pop production takes me back to 2011. Does that make it dated or nostalgic? Either way, the highly energetic, shout-out-loud chorus is a bop. I dislike the “NA NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY” schoolyard taunt though. Lesley is taunting the people who thought she wouldn't make it. No one believed in her, but she pulled it off by herself. The “I'm not a puppet on a string” line refutes the 1967 winner. She was known for breaking rules. She was expected to live a normal life. She took their advice to be blunt, then was criticized for it. But she doesn't care what they say because they don't matter. The chorus asserts that it's her life. And the song ends with “I don't care what you say”. The message is about being yourself to reach your dreams. The music starts with incessant, rapid, impatient nudges that keep powering down. The persistent kicks are added in next. Then the buzzy synths and the clappy beat heighten the pre-chorus. While the chorus bulldozes through as the bass-line roars and radiates. That chorus flows like a dam bursting open. It's a giant release of energy. I love when that bass-line hits too. Verse #2 is also buzzy. The second chorus is doubled, and the energy continues through the bridge, letting things run freely. Then the bridge submerges, leading to a clapping breakdown with background voices, before resuming the energy. The song's vibe is like celebrating her life.

My prediction: 35% (#21 odds/ #28 scoreboard app). Ireland's 2014+ track record isn't great, and I just don't see the public prioritizing their votes for this. The staging would need to match the song's energy, and not be as complicated as the “Maps” staging. UNLIKELY.

Russia: Little Big - Uno #StandWithUkraine

I first knew about Little Big when my friend showed me the “Skibidi” video. “Uno” isn't as weird as that, but their style of humour fits Eurovision perfectly for a joke entry. There's some nonsense lyrics, like the “dummy dummy” / “yummy yummy” rhymes and the Spanish counting that skips 3 for some reason. And Ilya seduces Sonya in this creepy voice. He's waiting for her to be ready for “some action” (sex). She needs another drink first (“margarita” and “señorita” adds even more Spanish!) But she's down for it after midnight, calling him charming and funny. He also says “come to daddy”... So, the intro is a watery soap opera organ. Then the piano start/stops in a 'DUN... da-DA da-DA-da... DUN' pattern (with bass added to the middle part), alongside raindrop hand drums and twisting sounds. The pauses steer the verses, then the pre-chorus beat gets things moving. There's a desk bell, and the chorus squeaks along, with a squealing rave synth break afterwards. And a tongue pop in the middle. Verse #2 throws in some “Hah!” pauses. And the bridge vocal sounds like a radio speaker. This is a catchy song – with the “uno-uno-uno” repetitions, and the way Sonya comes in for the pre-chorus and last chorus line. But the production is kinda ugly, the chorus is basic, and the vocals aren't meant to be pleasant. The music video is exactly what I imagined the staging to look like: a memorable dance sequence (the leg crossings), weirdly intimidating facial expressions, and a random dude dancing in workout gear.

My prediction: 99% (#5 odds/ #6 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 televote winner too. It's the most viewed video on the Eurovision YouTube channel. It's one of the 6 winner contenders of 2020. And Russia is always a televote magnet. LOCKED.

Belgium: Hooverphonic - Release Me Belgium selects a band that's been charting there for 20+ years. And that experience shows in the professionally crafted instrumental. It starts with a repeating, pounding, agonized piano note, like a migraine. Then the drums and psychedelic guitar splashes get things moving, with some metal clicks. Then the orchestral strings raise the chorus in a expansive, cinematic way. The strings later continue through the bridge. And the song ends once the string tension snaps off. It's a nice song, but a slow-moving one, and Luka's vocal is too sleep-inducing. She lacks enough emotional punch for me. She almost sounds bored? And it becomes a dreary ballad. In the lyrics, Luka keeps asking her lover over and over again to release her, because they won't do it. The song even opens with the words “Release Me”. She doesn't want to talk it out. She already knows what they'll say (probably that they still love her), and it won't fix things. The lying, the pain. The relationship is already over in her mind. It's not right to make her stay. But they hold the power to end it, because she's stuck in this dangerous need of them. She also calls it a “losing game” (an “Arcade” reference?) And the chorus concludes with the old saying “If you love me, let me go”. The second verse and the bridge just repeat the first verse. Her voice makes the situation sound bleak. I mostly just like the strings in this one.

My prediction: 50% (#17 odds/ #22 scoreboard app). I think the juries would've pushed this through, but it could've been another Sennek situation. Especially if the staging is empty. “The Wrong Place” was also borderline, although with a different vocalist. BORDERLINE IN.

Malta: Destiny - All of My Love “Like a river... runnin'... WILD!” The 2015 JESC winner graduates to adult Eurovision! Destiny's vocals are impressive here, especially during the bridge, which is a spiritual awakening. The lyrics could be interpreted as religious, but they don't have to be. She thought praying was useless because she'd never find her path. She felt “no good” and misunderstood. But now everything's changed. This person's love has healed and freed Destiny, so she gives her love back in return. The song is basically a big 'thank you'. She keeps hoping they won't let her down though, showing doubt still exists. But she now realizes their positive validation was right. The song's intro is divine, with a church organ and low-pitched “ah-uh-oh”s. Then the first verse is bare with spread-out piano slams, while Destiny's voice overpowers the isolated, big open space. The finger snaps come next. Then the chorus unleashes an effective clapping rhythm that reminds of me Lumidee / Wayne Wonder / “Pon de Replay”. It's like a bird flapping its wings. The chorus bass-line has a very consuming atmosphere too; it's like the power of universe embracing you. It heightens in the post-chorus. The second verse production gets excited. The song reduces back to piano/snaps before the second chorus. And the bridge is nearly a cappella, save for the claps, with the backing choir leading to Destiny's big note climax. The atmosphere is powerful here. I really love the music video too.

My prediction: 99% (#8 odds/ #8 scoreboard app). Possibly the SF1 jury winner as well. I can't see it being a televote NQ either. LOCKED.

Croatia: Damir Kedžo - Divlji vjetre Well, this is a generic Balkan Ballad. I really dislike the key change as well (those backing vocals…) And I don't like how the instrumental keeps cutting off and switching up. It doesn't flow right. The song opens with a piano buzzer and a slice. Then the frosty piano stays low, with a windy sound and an orchestral jerk in the middle. The smooth strings arrive next. Then it's the dramatic thunder drums, as the pre-chorus escalates. There's a pause, a piano hold, and another pause. Then the smooth strings create a beautiful chorus, with more thunder drums poking through. There's a few isolated kicks halfway, then the percussion pridefully marches ahead. The backing choir sings a line after the chorus. Verse #2 continues the prideful steps and thunder drums. Chorus #2 skips all the build-up. And the song ends on a dramatic slam. The tugging, valiant motion is alright, but nothing special. In the lyrics, Damir still loves his ex, even after they've completely moved on. He wants to move on too, but he can't. It seemed like they were bound forever. So he asks the “Wild Wind” to leave him alone, before he's not himself anymore. He also asks it to bring “withered leaves” and to rain tears on the autumn colours. The lyrics use lots of nature metaphors. “Rip the branches uncontrollably” suggests a messy break-up. There's not much say about the Dora performance. He sings well and the LED lights flash during the thunder drums.

My prediction: 30% (#39 odds/ #36 scoreboard app). I don't think it stands out enough to qualify. UNLIKELY.

Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra This song is a wild ride. First, Efendi screams “AHHHHHH” across the land. Then the hazy eastern guitar gives a cultural feel. The forceful kicks come next. Then the distressed pre-chorus moves smoother, as the backing cushions it. But the next sequence is SO random: the song stops upon “sounds... like... this”, there's a humming Buddhist mantra on loop, another “AHHHH”, a “LIKE CLEOPATRA!” army command, and a bunch of “LA LA LA”s with room-shaking kicks. She also rolls her R's on “like CleopatRRRa”. Next, verse #2 adds continuous “hey!” slices. An electric guitar starts the next pre-chorus. The bridge goes into machine beeps, more kicks, and stutters; before reducing to a clappy breakdown, a “shhh!”, and then the outro goes into hyper speed. The lyrics are funny too, even with the empowerment message. Efendi boldly compares herself to Cleopatra. They're both queens betrayed by lovers. Both “part goddess, part temptress”. And both “straight or gay or in between” apparently. Efendi's ex left is like Mark Antony, and she clarifies which Marc Anthony lol. You know, “Cleo's gigolo”! No one intervened and she wasn't herself anymore. But now she's back with a vengeance after rediscovering her inner voice – which is that mantra. Cleopatra is her idol I guess. This song is ridiculous, but somehow it works. It's insanely catchy and addictive. Efendi has fun with it while still being a fierce, confident bad-ass. She's in total control of the song; and her life now! And the production goes hard during the “LA LA LA” parts. I love the outro too.

My prediction: 85% (#9 odds/ #9 scoreboard app). Probably a big televote fave but lower with the juries. I'm curious on how they would've staged this. LOCKED.

Cyprus: Sandro - Running Yeah, this is a Meduza copycat, but “Running” is a solid EDM track on its own. The dark, droopy, bass-heavy production traps Sandro in. His vocals aren't the best, but he sounds tormented and tortured; like he's suffering. The song starts with some bass nudges putting pressure on him, alongside a subtle, tense, stationary whistle. Meanwhile, there's deep “BAWP” interruptions throughout the song. The finger snaps come next. Then the song starts moving, and the verse shakes and stops at the end. That quiet part represents how he can't see anymore. The synth drips steadily emerge afterwards, and the shakes and cymbal crashes escalate into the “drop”, which is a bunch of “mmhmm aha”s and dark EDM bass. The drop also starts with a triple clap. Chorus #2 adds snaps to the mix. But the bridge is my fave part, where Sandro's voice jumps out as a desperate cry for help. The beat then stops for a moody string moment, symbolizing when he falls down. The song picks itself back up and ends with strings again. He says “I don't wanna fall again” many times (like collapsing from running), but the final line changes to “I'm NOT gonna fall again”, showing a will to change. Basically, Sandro is tired of running from his mental health, but it's a habit he can't break. He chooses to be alone instead of talking to someone. And he ignores phone calls and door knocks. I like the “BAWP”s and the atmosphere, even if it's a bit monotone. The faster parts represent his running.

My prediction: 40% (#32 odds/ #29 scoreboard app). With the right staging, I could see this being a shock qualifier, but it also depends on his live vocals. BORDERLINE OUT.

Norway: Ulrikke - Attention This is an incredible power ballad. The intro is majestic, with the tense and rising strings (+ piano). After the string tension breaks, there's a series of vibrations, snaps, and drum pats, which move at a patient and careful pace. I also like how she says “attennnTION”. Her voice rises on “I-uh-I-uh-I”, as the piano returns. Then the chorus halts everything, as she screams “SO WHY...” alongside gradual piano and drum booms. There's a rising “DO-oo-OO” hook too. The first chorus is just a tease though. Verse #2 is less minimal and adds background voices. There's some impatient steps, then chorus #2 is MASSIVE and EXPLOSIVE. Ulrikke's huge vocals and the low backing chants really power it. That chorus demands attention. The bridge is a fragile moment. Then more impatient steps + an “OHHHH” build into the finale. So, Ulrikke is desperate for this person's attention, but I get the sense she doesn't like this side of herself. The lyrics show self-awareness. She does crazy, foolish things to make them notice her. She wouldn't normally exhibit these behaviours. She doesn't have time for her friend anymore. But this person is oblivious to her signals. The explosive chorus is when Ulrikke lets her frustration out; she also questions why she changes herself to please someone else. Then, in the bridge, she tries to call it quits, feeling humiliated on the dance floor. On the MGP stage, she wears a sparkly dress next to a violinist and a cellist, and there's a fire rain climax. That final chorus transition is so good.

My prediction: 99% (#11 odds/ #5 scoreboard app). It's the type of ballad that appeals to both juries and televoters. Probably top 10 in the Grand Final too. LOCKED.

Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi This >>> “Toy” and “Home”. “Feker Libi” is a celebration of loving someone from another culture without shame. The music showcases this multicultural union by constantly switching the language and instrumental to different parts of the world! In a cohesive way too. Interestingly, 2019 interval act Idan Raichel helped write this. It starts in tropical Ethiopia, with a lamellophone, a couple reedy sounds, and Amharic lyrics expressing Eden's love. Then the song suddenly erupts into “YALLA-LA” shouts, xylophone boops, and commanding drum bangs, as the synth powers up. There's a water drip, then the verses follow horse-galloping ticks and drum wobbles. The pre-chorus adds emphatic claps, leading to a slapping motion on the made-up language part (“maka lakuma”), which I like. Then the European house beat relieves the tension. There's a series of knocks, then the instrumental turns Middle Eastern (I love how this part approaches you), as she says love terms in Amharic, Arabic and Hebrew. The percussion also turns chaotic towards the end, although the song finishes on a quieter note. The lyrics don't say a lot - Eden asks Incan goddess Pachamama to show the way. She says close your eyes and feel the “melodía” (so there's Spanish as well). And that tonight is a “colour party”! But I love the positive energy here. The NF stage includes a lamellophone player, dancers dressed in yellow, foreign scripts on the LED, and camera jerks on the drum bangs. The smiles and Eden's charisma are great.

My prediction: 90% (#18 odds/ #16 scoreboard app). Probably somewhere between 9th-13th in the Grand Final. LOCKED.

Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You I can understand the hype - Roxen's distinct vocal contains raw emotion. They sound like a trembling, broken, sobbing mess. They scream in agony during the last chorus. And they can't finish the “from the bottom of my…” line. But the “Alcohol You”/“I'll call you” pun and the “fake news” lyric are cringe. And the song is kinda pretentious? I like the “I need you but it hurts/To feel like I deserve/Your weapons” line though. I also like the pre-chorus build-up, and the verses sound like a big, dark, empty space. But the chorus pause annoys me. The song is about drunk calling an ex, and how that's probably a bad idea. The colourful morning sunrise makes Roxen squint. They shame their “stupid words”. They drank bittersweet alcohol to relive the memories. They ignore their friends' warnings. They're too weak to acknowledge their ex's bad qualities. And they read between the lines of their ex's lies(?) The last line also switches to “I will call you when I'm strong”, showing a will to change. The first verse follows a 'dun-DUN-DUN-DUN' 4-note piano pattern, with a howling intro and some vocal echoes. There's a thunder roll, then the pre-chorus loudly echo-clacks, as the strings are there until the tension breaks. The chorus is a vulnerable moment - it pauses for the song title; then a heartbeat, a distorted whimper, a metal tick rattle follows. Then some escalating drums. Verse #2 brings the cello, drum patters, and forceful splashes. Chorus #2 starts very shaky. And the song ends with more thunder booms and strings. In the NF, Roxen stares at themselves on the LED. Edit: this is starting to click now.

My prediction: 65% (#7 odds/ #11 scoreboard app). If they aren't running around like “Amnesia”, this will probably qualify, but I can see it being the “Bones” of 2020, where the results don't quite match the hype. It's also too similar to the most recent Eurovision winner. LIKELY.

Ukraine: Go_A - Solovey “Shum” >>> this. Kateryna's “White Voice” singing is irritating in “Solovey”; especially the chorus. The melody and the flute are rather annoying too, but I like some aspects of the electronic production. After the intro twists into view, Ihor's bouncy flute acts as a birdsong/the sound of nature (since the title means “Nightingale”), while the thunder-slam drums are spread out to be dramatic. Next, the verse hums, the snaps arrive, the slams return, and the electronic beat gets things moving partway. The song halts upon the chorus, which also hums before the rubbery drums hit. There's a flute break afterwards, where the beat moves like waves; and heightens midway with claps and broken metal ticks. Verse #2 starts growl-y and the claps come back midway. There's a steam leak, where the vocals muffle. The metal ticks set up chorus #2, which doesn't halt. And the outro slows down into roaring electric guitars, which I find clashing. The lyrics tell a story about Katrusya and Vanyusha, and repeat a lot of phrases. She goes to the valley to pick flowers, while he professes his love to her. But they can only be together until mother finds out. If Kat knew about this, she wouldn't have gotten involved. The chorus pleads the nightingale to not sing so early, since she can't handle happiness right now. The Vidbir version (before the revamp) sounds more pleasant. The stage includes a flutist and a DJ, who also play the drums, while Kateryna wears that black and red thing. There's also guitar sparks at the end. But I just cannot get past the abrasive sound of this song.

My prediction: 85% (#25 odds/ #13 scoreboard app). It's more polarizing than “Shum”, but Ukraine aren't breaking their qualification streak with this lol. Probably more of a televote fave though. LOCKED.

Predictions recap... Locked: Lithuania, Sweden, Russia, Norway, Malta, Israel, Azerbaijan, Ukraine Likely: Romania Borderline in: Belgium Borderline out: Australia, Cyprus Unlikely: Ireland, Croatia, Belarus No chance: Slovenia, North Macedonia

SF1 Winner: Sweden or Lithuania Jury winner: Sweden or Malta Televote winner: Lithuania or Russia Last place: North Macedonia

My Ranking:

01. Norway: Ulrikke - Attention 02. Israel: Eden Alene - Feker Libi 03. Lithuania: The Roop - On Fire 04. Azerbaijan: Efendi - Cleopatra 05. Malta: Destiny - All of My Love 06. Sweden: The Mamas - Move 07. Cyprus: Sandro - Running 08. Romania: Roxen - Alcohol You 09. Ireland: Lesley Roy - Story of My Life 10. Russia: Little Big - Uno

Malta: Michela - Chameleon

Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës Of course Albania is second in the running order. I also just realized this song gives me “1944” vibes.

Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend

Germany: S!sters - Sister “I'm sorry, 0 points”. I guess 2018 was an anomaly, as Germany returns to the bottom 2. “Sister” is just a bland entry. It wants to be an epic inspirational ballad, but the composition is as inoffensive as possible and refuses to be distinct. The song starts with a music box, followed by piano dings. Then the drums march until the music box returns to pause the build-up, with cymbal shimmer transitions; then foot-taps and strikes ensue. Verse 2 adds foot-taps and light guitar after a second. Then the song peaks with heavier drums and that “SISTER... OOH WAH OOH” bit... which is a very flat climax. The bridge resumes the music box again. The drums are boring, the melody is basic, and the music box is whatever. The lyrics promote non-familial sisterhood. Indeed, S!sters aren't even real sisters. The duo urges women to support each other instead of trying to knock the competition down. The narrator sighs “I'm tired” of it. She tried to inhibit her sister but couldn't. She wouldn't share her success, saw her as an enemy, and feared her power. But she empowers her sister in the chorus, and apologizes in verse 2. The staging is basic as well. It starts dark, with the pair on opposite sides of the ramp, as they change leads. And the LED shows their sad faces singing (*eye roll*) They then meet in the middle, and yell “SISTER” at each other while amateurishly bouncing. There's also an unearned fire rain finale and they excitedly embrace at the end. Their vocal sounds emotional, but in a saccharine way.

Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream The bad running order slot didn't hurt this.

Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever

San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na I can't hate on people having the time of their lives.

North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud

Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love John's charisma (and the Mamas) really elevate this.

Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi

Cyprus: Tamta - Replay

Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade (winner review below)

Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love

Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home This just screams “we don't want to host again”. It's a dated song with a formal performance, and Kobi's voice is excruciating (“I AM SOMEOoOoOoONE”). I just want him to STOP. He gargles the word “bruise” too. The orchestral string intro is from the 1950s. Then a gentle piano follows, as he sounds choked up. A small, anxious running beat appears next, with a bit of guitar and snowy echoes. Then the first chorus rests after a cymbal shimmer. Meanwhile, there's 3-way split-screens of Kobi and jagged screens showing the music video. The backing choir comes out during verse 2 and they stand close to him. It's an intense visual. The instrumental stays gently anxious until the bridge, where the strings grow and the melody shifts, as Kobi walks across the bridge. The slow drums enter at the climax, with fire rain and him walking across the ramp. Plus a rising bit and a pause. The song ends gently again, and with another big gargling vocal. Kobi is an over-singing, over-emoting showman. The lyrics are about personal growth. Kobi is focused on the current moment for the rest of his life. He runs “barefoot to the mountain tops” and hugs cold water (ie. facing extreme and uncomfortable challenges). And now that he found his identity, he's coming home. He used to listen to others and waited for time to pass. It was a long, suffering journey and he's done with letting that hurt affect him. It's a nice message, but the song is too theatrical and formal to make me feel anything.

Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky

United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger than Us A bland and forgettable entry puts the UK in last place. John Lundvik clearly kept the better song for himself. “Bigger than Us” wants to be an epic inspirational ballad, like Germany. It's more stimulating than “Sister” at least, and it has an innocent, uplifting vibe. But it's still formulaic and predictable. The song starts with a warm, hopeful piano, as the audio skips on “me and you”. The kicks and snaps come next. Then the song suddenly slam-stops, and the “anthemic” chorus brings the percussion and distorted “oh oh oh” responses. The backing lifts the last “it's bigger!” The second chorus extends into a back-and-forth “bigger (bigger)” with the backing. The bridge quiets to a pretty piano, leading to a drum breakdown, where the choir comes on stage giving “hah-oh”s. The last chorus is elevated by strings and stage sparks. And they stand around a fiery circle. The stage starts grayscale, as Michael walks forward with smoke behind him. Then the LED lights up with outer space imagery. He also shows his vocals on “ONLY HOPE”, “WE SEEEE YEAH”, and “UUUUS”. The lyrics lack depth though. The word “bigger” is said 47 times. Michael wants the subject to hear him. He says that love is attainable between them. He offers his hand and promises he won't give up. While the chorus proclaims that their love is bigger than everything. It's a bit trite. His performance is fine, the backing choir improves things, and the chorus shift kinda works. But yeah, this is bland.

Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra

Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm Uhh was that a camera fuck up?

Belarus: Zena - Like It Zena cannot sing. The chorus is kinda annoying too.

Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth The verses are better than the chorus.

France: Bilal Hassani - Roi I view France's 2017/18/19 entries as a trilogy. Madame Monsieur even helped write this one. “Requiem” and “Mercy” told unique stories, but “Roi”'s message of self-love has 0 subtly. Especially the staging. It starts with a flashlight on Bilal's face, with colourful tears and words. Then, teen ballerina Lizzy Howell walks out, twirls, and shakily pushes wrists with Bilal. Then he comforts deaf dancer Lin Ching-lan. Meanwhile, the LED shows quotes, news headlines and videos of the dancers; as well as an empty throne room. Bilal also kneels during the bridge. While at the end, they all stand together making hand-crowns, as the LED shows a child video of Bilal + “We are all Kings/Queens”. The lyrics alternate English and French frequently. Bilal asserts “I will always be [me]”. She decides her own path. He lives life despite judgement. It bothers people and they tell her how to be, but she defies it; retorting “you cannot change me boo”. The term “king” is used to empower. Verse 2 questions why they hurt for nothing. We choose many things, but not who we are, it's no one's business. Bilal projects self-love, security and confidence. And the “I'M NOT RICH...” and “know-oh-oh-oh” hooks are fine, but the chorus suffers from the plain modern drum beat. The verses follow an active piano, with fist-pounding ticks partway. The post-chorus adds some strings and fluttery metal bits. Verse 2 has some drumstick echos midway. And the bridge reduces to low vibrations.

* Bilal uses both he/him and she/her pronouns, so I alternated

Italy: Mahmood - Soldi This is so addictive. The “come va, come va, come va” and “Soldi, Soldi” repetitions are catchy AF. The handclaps get the audience involved. It sounds fresh and modern. And it changes gears so cleverly. There's an Arabic guitar that keeps reappearing, mixed with assertive foot stomps. The verses follow “dun... dun-dun” piano notes, with more stomps. There's a pause on “AH UH”. The pre-chorus piano races with smooth strings, and the vocal jumps out midway with taps. Then the sludgy bass drops with double handclaps. And the Arabic guitar cuts this off effectively. The bridge has a more cluttered sound, ending in more strings. Mahmood crams a lot of words into this, but it doesn't harm the melody. The lyrics tell a personal story with a justifiably bitter tone. It's about his deceitful father, who walked out on his family, and only cares about money. Mahmood reassures his mom he's on his way home to see him. She thought it was love. The father is breaking Ramadan and smoking a hookah, and there's a Jackie Chan reference. Upon seeing him, Mahmood sings quickly since his mind is racing. He doesn't trust him. He doesn't care to explain. He decries “you only cared about the money, as if I have any”. The father won't say the right words. Mahmood rejects his offer. And the bridge inserts an Arabic phrase that his dad used to say. The staging involves Mahmood and the dancers leaning backwards during the chorus, as the LED shows a clapping silhouette. It also shows flaming banknotes, a sad boy, translated lyrics, and his face breaking. Plus beggars' hands on the floor. The dancers have some interesting choreo as well. But yeah, I just love how the different parts work together here.

Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna This is pretty epic by the end of it. It's grown on me! I love the part when the strings stop.

Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me

Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity

Spain: Miki - La venda This is an insanely energetic, joyous, and fun song. It sounds like a World Cup theme. It does burn out after repeated listens (I need to catch my breath!), and it is repetitive, but those “LA VENDA YA CAYÓOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” shouts are really catchy. The celebratory trumpet intro stands out too. And there's many quick “woo” pauses for breathers. Most of the song has fast, summery guitar and drums. The verses add backing “ohhhhh” to it, while the chorus adds horns and “HEY”s. The bridge retreats into rapid claps and Spanish guitar, then escalates with drum slams and horns, leading to a hollow drum breakdown. And it repeats “Lo que ere” 12 times. The song energizes the arena, but the choreo is kinda messy. They jump and raise their arms to hype up the crowd. And they run to the bridge and ramp at the end. The stage includes a 3x2 structure of 6 rooms with hand-drawn decor, and a frozen person in each. Miki turns around and visits them. The LED shows bold colours, including paint splatters and fingerprints. There's also a moving, lit-up, mummy thing. They brace against gravity during the camera tilts. Miki holds a camera at one point. The lyrics are trying too hard to be deep though. It's about removing the “blindfold” to live happy and free. Every verse line starts with “Te”. Miki remarks “They buy you because you're for sale”. You have excess to sell. You're lost because there's a way to be. He says there's other options – love and choose yourself. You're enough without forcing it.

The Winner:

The Netherlands achieves their 5th victory, and their first in 44 years. Austria still holds the record at 48 years between 1966 & 2014. However, Spain or France could break that in the near future. The Netherlands were one of my favourite countries during the '70s, '80s, and '90s, but they dropped off in the new millennium. They didn't even qualify for 8 years in a row. But then “Birds” changed everything; and “Calm After the Storm” did even better. Since then, the Netherlands winning again felt inevitable. Duncan's win is the culmination of their revival. Switching to internal selections has worked out pretty well.

“Arcade” is probably the least controversial winner of 2014-2023. There's nothing divisive about it. Although, at the time, I wasn't feeling the studio version. I was sick of hearing songs with big loud percussion. I didn't want a OneRepublic clone winning Eurovision. But after seeing Duncan's sensitive performance, I changed my mind. I can FEEL the emotion in this song clearly. Those “AHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHH”s and “ALL I KNOW”s wouldn't leave my brain either. It's catchy! There's a very noticeable verse/chorus contrast too. The song opens with a piano sequence and vocal howls, creating a cold night forest atmosphere. Then the introverted verse expresses Duncan's sadness and vulnerability, with the soft melancholic piano and lower vocal. The howls return with boops and Duncan's voice rises. Then the guitar and snaps get the pre-chorus moving. While the heavy drums slam down in the chorus, with some clicks. The second verse adds low drum booms and skips the pre-chorus. The later choruses are doubled. The bridge is a delicate moment. There's a dense drum breakdown. The last chorus adds moody strings. And the song ends where it started.

The chorus is like pounding your fists against the wall in agony because you can't take it anymore. It represents Duncan's frustration. His broken heart has unfixed cracks. He lost some pieces while returning home. He's afraid of himself. His mind feels different. He begs to be carried home. While the chorus surmises that loving this person is a losing game. The relationship was destined to fail, and he knew it (“I saw the end before it begun”), but he carried on. He was addicted. The “How many pennies in the slot?” line questions how invested his ex was, since they gave up easily. The “Small-town boy in a big arcade” line implies Duncan was out of his depth. But then he calls it quits in the bridge (“Get me off this rollercoaster”). It was a turbulent relationship. The lyrics contain several game metaphors: “lost a couple of pieces”, “pennies in the slot”, “Game Over”; but not in a corny way.

The staging keeps it simple, but still visually satisfying. Emotional ballads don't need anything extra. Duncan spends the entire performance playing a piano that's positioned sideways, while the dark blue lighting establishes the mood. It begins pitch black until the first line. Then the camera slowly zooms in as he looks down at the piano. He only really looks up during the close-ups. A blue spotlight shines on him next. Then a moon orb descends in front of him and he stares at it during the bridge. Then he throws his arms behind him as a blinding white light beams in the background. The stage has a nighttime aesthetic. It fits the song perfectly and I wouldn't change anything about it.

This became a viral TikTok hit, and the first Eurovision song to chart in America since Gina G. It's currently the most streamed Eurovision song ever on Spotify at over 1 billion plays.

Winner rank: “A” Tier.

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Italy: Mahmood - Soldi 02. Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky 03. Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me 04. Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës 05. Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade 06. Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi 07. Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity 08. Malta: Michela - Chameleon 09. Spain: Miki - La venda 10. Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love

11. Cyprus: Tamta - Replay 12. Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth 13. Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna 14. Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love 15. North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud 16. France: Bilal Hassani - Roi 17. San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na 18. Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream 19. Belarus: Zena - Like It 20. Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm 21. United Kingdom: Michael Rice - Bigger than Us 22. Germany: S!sters - Sister 23. Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra 24. Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever 25. Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend 26. Israel: Kobi Marimi - Home

× Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out This is a spiteful and confrontational song about leaving an abusive ex. I love that! The empty staging explains the NQ, but Srbuk's performance is fierce anyways. The chorus is also stiff and shout-y (“WALKING OUT, WOOHOO” is a meh hook), but anger is meant to sound unstable. Her impassioned voice shows strength to stand up and fight back. She repeats “I'M WALKING OUT!” as a firm stance. She'll burn down what she built! In the song, Srbuk asks “Who are you? / What you really do?” because her partner seems like a different person. They get mad at her being upset. They're dependent and defensive. They repress emotions. They aren't there for her. And she claps back with: “can you function on your own?”; “wait for... oh no I'm done!”; and “At last I feel proud!” The camera cuts and tilts fit this attitude. Especially the sharp cuts and zooms in verse 2. The stage also uses red lighting at first. The song opens with a distant, cold piano, as we see Srbuk make a fist from behind. Then reality sinks in via a winding down sound, and the irate percussion aggressively claps and splash-slams. It pauses in the pre-chorus for traditional strings. Then a glitch sound cuts to a spinning overhead shot, and the chorus uses shuddering slices. The pre-chorus is skipped the second time. The LED floor cracks upon chorus #2. And then Srbuk's kneeling is very effective – where the bridge quiets, the key change hits, the flames erupt, and she shrieks like crazy. She also “walks out” at the end.

× Ireland: Sarah McTernan - 22 Dead last in SF2. Ireland has hit rock bottom. “22” has a daydreamy, 'light as a cloud' atmosphere, but the melody is lacking and Sarah's vocal is lifeless, making it kinda boring. The 1950s diner staging doesn't work either, where Sarah sits at a table with two milkshakes on it. There's two dancers that come out to grab them. They interact with Sarah, but their facial expressions are so extra. Then, during the bridge, she lays on the table against a starry floor LED, as shown on the overhead camera. The dancers then spin the table around with her on it. The main LED, meanwhile, shows a vintage car “driving back” during that lyric; as well as checker patterns and classic comic book drawings of Sarah. Furthermore, calling your song “22” just invites Taylor Swift comparisons. It's her ex's house number, it could be anything. Anyways, Sarah keeps driving back there because she's constantly thinking about him. That sounds... stalkerish. New faces and old places are reminders. She's afraid to admit her feelings and admits to messing it up. The song is mainly driven by a bass guitar groove (the LED shows the soundwave of it at first). The pre-chorus adds a slight keyboard. Then the drums enter in the chorus, alongside guitar shimmers, while the post-chorus uses guitar beeps and “oh whoa” backing (I like that part). The drums continue in verse 2 after a second. And the bridge quiets down. This entry is more 'whatever' and basic than bad though.

× Moldova: Anna Odobescu - Stay Possibly the most forgettable entry of 2019. Moldova isn't known for serious entries, but 2007 and 2013 did well. The staging blatantly copies Ukraine 2011 – it involves someone making sand art on a table, which is projected on the LED. It's an impressive talent, but an unoriginal idea. And why is there a birdcage, a wine glass, and some candles on the table? Moreover, “Stay” is a generic ballad. The lyrics are filled with meaningless cliches that lack substance: “Even with the wind we'll make it”! “Keep the fire burning inside”! “No matter what they say/ It's now or never”! “If I fall/ I'm nothing at all”! And Anna uses a lot of imperative verbs to empower this person. She tells them to stay until she figures out how they can reconcile forever. The composition is so close to being an epic power ballad, and it almost wins me over. It starts with a pensive piano. The strings sneak in next, followed by a thundery transition. Then the chorus moves in a pattern that I like – ie. the “STAY until I find a WAY” emphases + the stop/start seesawing strings + the echoes. A string post-chorus follows this. Then verse 2 elevates with a crisp drum, a fizzy synth, and continued strings. The later choruses become heavier. And the bridge reduces to a quiet piano and a heartbeat, as she interacts with the artist, leading to a boom-clap drum breakdown. Anna then disappears in a swirly hologram - she didn't stay after all. She also wears a white dress on stage, and has good vocals.

✓ Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me This is one insanely catchy song: “Gettin' rowdy, rowdy”; “She let her body... TALK”; “WHEN SHE GO LOW...” x2; “She got me dirty dancin'... DIRTY DANCIN'!” And that drop is blazing hot and made for grinding. The audience goes wild when Luca dances during it. He's charming in a likeable way. He has sexy confidence. He smiles and never stops moving. In the intro, he walks slowly in camera cuts. Then he sways to the side during the pauses. And later, he jumps into a pyro blast. The choreo is hot too. While the red lighting, the wide and changing aspect ratios, and the glitchy LED establish a scene. The lyrics are typical horny dude thoughts: this seductive girl compels Luca to dirty dance in the club. She's the “kinda lady that mama like/But mama ain't here tonight” (lol). She makes all the boys and girls stop what they're doing. And now they're sweaty and animalistic. The production is a bop. There's a guitar intro, followed by a screechy whistle, a knocking beat, a quick metal drum, and then the beat strengthens. The pre-chorus slides across with bass taps and conclusions (+ lyric pauses). The chorus pulls back with claps and a bird call, then escalates with bass blares and a loud alarm on “DIRTY DANCIN'”. Then the fiery “eeeer” drop runs wild afterwards. The next pre-chorus and the bridge uses taut bass strums instead. The bridge is the weakest part though. The song then rests before a clappy fire dance and a “WOOP”. Side notes: This hit #1 on my personal chart. Luca won Germany's DSDS in 2012. And this broke a 4-year NQ streak for Switzerland.

× Latvia: Carousel - That Night I like the cozy atmosphere and the vintage stage lighting/colours, but “That Night” is very easy to forget about. The song is a bit sleepy and the composition is too monotonous. I'm not shocked by the NQ. The chorus is dominated by that “LAH-AH-AH-AH-AHVE” hook. But since there's barely a bridge, the chorus is played on an endless loop towards the end. It goes on too long... like she's zoned out... and I zone out too. In the lyrics, singer Sabīne recalls a lonely, starless, dark night, where “one troubled thought broke through”. She spends the chorus wishing for love, in this daydream-y state. But she feels wrong for letting her imagination take over. Then a dark, cold river (reality?) takes her away from paradise, and she begs to return. This is how human brains work. Negative thoughts will intrude unexpectedly. The song is retro indie folk. It opens with an acoustic guitar, then the verse adds this subtle shuffling sound. There's some cymbal crashes and background howls as well. While the chorus has more of a foot-tapping rhythm. The vocals in the super brief are like a distant howl. And there's little bells later on. The instrumental is very subdued, calm and soothing. It sticks to one particular mood, which is introverted ruminating. On stage, Sabīne wears a brimmed hat, while the other band members play a guitar, double bass, and drums.

× Romania: Ester Peony - On a Sunday Artistic entries can be alienating, but the overused “EH-EH-EH-EH-EH” hook is obtrusive too. I like how it claws at you though. Plus the dark, demented, tortured atmosphere is intriguing. The song opens with a warped guitar, where the audio and video purposely skip. The guitar removes its restraints right after, but it's still pained. The finger snaps come next, which sharpen on the first “eh eh eh”, leading to a whoosh. Then the very heavy/dense bass takes over, with deep “WHOA”s and clicks. This is my favourite part. The bass persists for rest of the song, except for two breaks to temporarily relieve the pressure: the first one returns to snaps and acoustic guitar, while the second is a piano break. The bass also appropriately enters on the “smoke” and “nightmare” lyrics, which are the images it conjures up. There's tons of fire eruptions too. On stage, Ester sits on a red armchair, while the guitarist looks solemn on the ramp. She's dressed in black and claws her silver-lined hand. The LED shows ancient pillars, bats flying forward, a splashing raindrops effect, and it turns hellish at the end (with fire rain), until roses appear. There's also jumpy camera cuts and two male dancers in kinky attire. In the song, Ester's break-up was so bad that she'll never forget that day. Now she pays the price for loving them. The smoke represents the painful aftermath. She can't feel at home. The world moves on, but she doesn't. She wants out of this nightmare. She asks if it really happened. She didn't see it coming.

✓ Denmark: Leonora - Love Is Forever This is just obnoxiously happy and sweet. The message that love will solve the world's problems is so overdone in Eurovision. Leonora suggests we “travel the world to see the ruins”, because we don't process history. She tells us “don't get too political”, don't judge, and don't give up because we've only experienced a taste of what's possible. And towards the end, she sings in 4 different languages for universality. The lyrics hit you over the head. The persistent, jerky string jabs are annoying too. They forcibly lift you up. The song is just jabs until the first chorus adds snaps to it. The jabs then pause for a second, and the second verse adds an acoustic guitar to get things moving. The later choruses have a fuller sound, where the backing “oooh” comes in. And the bridge reduces to jabs, snaps and a violin. I don't care for the staging either. It begins with Leonora standing in front of this backdrop of various drawings (a chair, window, ladder and clouds); which opens up to show the audience behind her. Then she climbs an actual ladder towards the top of this gigantic blue chair. Once there, she sways back and forth with 2 backing members, while clouds drift on the LED. The backing is WAY too happy here. Next, the other 2 backing members carry ladders on their shoulders, and climb them backwards. Once everyone is up top, they all sway and kick their feet. The song's atmosphere floats like a cloud, but it does nothing for me. Her voice is so cutesy at the end of the chorus too.

✓ Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love The fake jury winner, and another top 5 for Sweden. The composition sounds too perfected, like most Swedish entries, but John's sensitive vocal expresses longing, humility, and caring; right from that “Hey, how you've been?” opening greeting. The camera close-up personalizes that opener too. He takes a risk by contacting his ex. It's probably been a while. He never got over them. He wonders if this is mutual and if it's wrong to still picture them together. Then he repeatedly asks if it's too late. While in the chorus, he desperately yells “HEAR ME!” for attention. The music has a hopeful vibe though. It starts with the piano, then a small running beat slides in. Suddenly the song stops and slams, and the chorus is split in two. First, there's hums and snaps; then the “HEAR ME!” shout launches the latter half effectively, which is a release of percussion and backing vocals, with a couple satisfying clack lashes. Verse 2 starts quiet, before the ticking and bass bring the energy back, followed by snaps. The second chorus adds thunderous drums to build even more – this is when the Mamas come out, which is my fave part. They all raise their mics together at the end of the chorus. And the bridge is a sensitive moment, leading to a “NOOO” climax, a clap breakdown, and more thunder drums. The “I could be..” hooks are good too. The stage is dark orange, with this smokey beaming light structure behind John. He also runs on the spot a lot, which matches the energy. And he turns to the side during verse 2.

This had a perfect jury score in Melfest lol. But I think it was the right winner. My other faves from the 2019 final were “Torn”, “Chasing Rivers”, “Ashes to Ashes” and “Hold You”. I wasn't fond of the runner-up, Bishara's “On My Own”.

× Austria: Pænda - Limits 0 televote points for this. Austria had momentum after Conchita during 2016/17/18, but that stops here. Pænda sings with tearful vulnerability and passion, and her soft high voice stands out, but the song is so sloooow. Those “yoUoUoU”s are annoying too. The lyrics have a realistic and insightful take on self-love at least. The verses are personal, where Pænda knows she has to move past her insecurities, but she's trapped in them. She pushed herself too hard before, but now realizes it's okay to not be okay, hoping time will re-calibrate her. She finds clarity looking in the mirror. She wants to believe it'll be better in the future. She feels numb to the pain and forces a smile. She feels chest anxiety. And she addresses the chorus to anyone that can relate. The song opens with twinkling chimes, a plane zooming past, and a dissolved voice. Then the verses move in slow, delicate steps, with those chimes. While the chorus follows a cello that shivers in small movements, with drum patters and string “da-DA”s midway. Her voice gets worked up in the second verse. Then the second chorus intensifies the drums and “da-DA”s, with some crackles. The bridge extends the intensity and shifts the melody, where Pænda lets it crash down. The song then finishes anticlimactically by returning to the delicate. As if this change isn't permanent. On stage, Pænda performs all alone, sitting down for the first half. There's dark lighting and poles of light resembling stars.

× Croatia: Roko - The Dream So, my least favourite Croatian entry is “My Friend”, and guess what? Jacques Houdek wrote their 2019 song as well. Lucky me! “The Dream” just takes itself too seriously. The staging is cringe. It begins with Roko laying on the floor LED, as it shows hellfire and angel wings beneath him. After he sits up, the camera shakes and the floor appears to rise. Then, two “angels” with golden wings descend from the ceiling. They attach wings onto Roko, and then re-ascend. The LED also changes from Hell to Heaven at some point. The religious imagery is too on the nose here. Also, I cannot stand the chorus. Roko's big vocals on “I DREAM OF LOVE... ANGELS OF GOD” are annoying AF. The lyrics are 'whatever' too. He won't give up on this beautiful, extreme dream, and assures it's possible. He mentions uniting a divided world, turning war into art, how we've endured, and how the time is now. For what exactly? Love, I guess. Then he switches to Croatian lyrics. Musically, the song starts with a couple dark synths and a distorted cry. Then the first verse uses repressed icy synth drips and echoing woodblock? ticks. It has a frosty atmosphere. The pre-chorus halts the movement with a boom, followed by lower ticks. The chorus then brings in the tediously-paced heavy drums and sawing strings. An instrumental break follows this, with more drums and rising keyboards. Then verse 2 eases off, before inserting a scattering sound and symphonic strings. The song ends by buzzing down.

✓ Malta: Michela - Chameleon This staging is camp but it works. It showcases modern technology and resembles a music video. It starts with Michela twirling her hair inside a brick house window. Then the camera zooms into her decorated room, it turns yellow, the door “opens”, water floods the room, it becomes an aquarium, the dancers crawl from the under the walls, the water drains, and a chameleon walks across. The lights then rotate bold colours during the drop, while the dancers “multiply”. Next, the stage becomes a jungle to match that lyric. City skyscrapers grow and shake to the beat, as Michela stands on a roof. And at the end, the screen contraption is revealed. The “Chameleon” metaphor is about being adaptable to life's troubles (“we are technicolour!”) The lyrics use colour comparisons and plant metaphors, as Michela refuses to be held in a box or to walk away from her problems. And the bridge is a bunch of “throw this at me, I'll overcome it”. The song starts with a reggae guitar (+ an off-key horn in the intro) until the “MMHMM” + metal drum interrupt. Then the broken metal ticks and bass blobs come in, leading to a roaring horn. The chorus is very hype and loud (“WHEN LIFE BRINGS ME TROUBLE...”) with claps and forceful slams (and metal ticks midway), leading to a quirky “drop” – this submerged bubbling thing, with “CHAME-CHAMELEON” repetitions, more off-key horns, and it peaks with “YALALA”s and roaring horn shakes. The bridge goes into light piano and snaps, and a horn blast-off. And I love how the final chorus lets everything go. It's a super catchy song and the drop is fun.

× Lithuania: Jurij Veklenko - Run with the Lions 1 point away from qualifying. The juries often underrate Lithuania in the semi-finals though. Jurij's performance is a little too sentimental and cloying, but he shows compassion. He really wants to inspire us. He repeats the phrases “c'mon c'mon”, “let me show you”, and “just try it” as encouragement. The song's message is about facing fears to experience life: “If you wanna see, just open your eyes”. Specifically the fear of leaving one's house. It's also about freeing yourself to express your feelings. The “We got love that can't be caged!” line is used as a rallying cry. This could be interpreted in an LGBT context. The lyrics use wildlife metaphors though, which is pretty corny. Musically, the verses follow a buoyant little synth, claps, slices, and kicks. The pre-chorus softens into a space age vibe. And the chorus brings in the percussion and bassline, with backing grunts, “ooh whoa oh” hooks, and a series of dramatic, rapid splitting bangs surrounding the title phrase. The chorus has a big melody as well. Later, the bridge shifts a bit, with an “OOOOOOOOOH-OOH-OOH-OOH” descent, peaking in a backing chant. And there's a brief sawing string outro. The staging isn't particularly memorable. Jurij just stands there with extremely super sympathetic energy. And there's a bunch of jumpy camera cuts during the chorus bangs. The chorus is a bop at least.

✓ Russia: Sergey Lazarev - Scream #StandWithUkraine

Sergey equals his 2016 placement, but I find this one overrated. “Scream” is a spectacle – it's a grand and elegant ballad, and he sings with passion. But it's so slow and exhausting. The chorus stretches out “THEY SCREAAAAAAAAAM” for too long. That chorus is literally two words. The big budget staging tells a story at least, with the wall of mirrors behind Sergey. First, he sings to his reflection. Then there's a line of his back reflections, as shooting stars hurtle forward on the LED. Then his reflection moves independently. But the key moment is when Sergey emotes behind a window of falling raindrops. There's just something about the way he touches the window. Next, we see a line of Sergeys in different positions, with a rainstorm effect. And they all stand in unison during the bridge, making it even more ominous. The lyrics are about him refusing to cry in front of his ex because of his pride. So he leaves them hanging. But he realizes tears aren't silent, so he'll break down eventually. The bridge is a word salad though. The music starts as a solemn piano ballad. Then the pre-chorus awakens with dramatic pounds, where each line rises with icy piano bits, and the “TEARS WILL FALL” part intensifies. While the chorus brings in the orchestral strings and more slow pounds. Verse #2 adds echoing strikes. And the bridge is an ominous, isolating, guilty moment by reducing to louder echoing strikes with silence between them. That's my fave part. But this song overdoes it on the emotion.

✓ Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës My favourite Albanian entry! I'm glad they didn't translate it to English, it would've ruined it. I love this “boom... ka-boom-KA... boom” “tribal” drum march. There's a sense of impending doom to it. It moves at a very steady pace. And it creates the image of mindlessly walking forward to the rhythm of a drum circle, one heavy footstep at a time. The song also inserts enraged buzzers that blast in your face. Plus breathy “hee”s, an eerie screechy flute, and metal pot ticking all in the first verse; followed by group vocal chants and distortions. Then the chorus soars in a hauntingly distressed way, as Jonida cries in pain through the post-chorus. A flute-lead instrumental break follows this. While verse #2 halts the drums for modern broken metal ticks and distortions. The drums soon return, then submerge, then resurface with a “YO YO”. The song is addressed directly to migrants who left Albania. The title means “Return to Your Land”. The lyrics keep it minimal, saying: they cry into their hands; they yearn without hope; they're separated from their loves ones; they lost their identity. The “One day you live/ The next you die” line is very bleak too. But the sorrowful chorus pleads them to return to the “heart”. The song's atmosphere is incredible and Jonida's voice is very captivating. The flame bursts complement the vibe as well. On stage, Jonida wears a black dress with a gold design. And the floor LED shows a fiery circle, and people trying to escape a nest.

✓ Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky The 2019 televote winner. The song is super catchy and uplifting, the yoik is unique, the lead vocal exchanges are SO satisfying (especially in the chorus), and the progression is incredible. Tom's sweet voice pulls you in during the “can't you stay...” intro, while he turns forward. There's subtle nighttime bass and sparkles, leading to a crackle. Then, once Alexandra takes over, the droopy bass synths get things moving. The taps and audience claps elevate it; as does the windy gust that follows. Then the chorus holds off for a moment until there's a jingle, then the bouncing, jogging, buzzing synth bulldozes through, ending in another gust. That chorus energizes the arena to an insane degree – it was MADE for Eurovision. Verse #2 builds similarly, while the camera tilt-zooms and motion blurs. Chorus #2 doesn't wait this time, and ends with a slam. Then the yoiking bridge quiets to wolf-like whistles; before it escalates with thunder drums, hype clacks, and flames on stage, as Fred's voice strengthens. Then the final “I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT” is epic. In the lyrics, Tom begs someone to stay for the night. He says they can leave in the morning to lessen the commitment. While Alexandra's parts show a transformation. At first, her spirit is lost. She's called worthless. She begs someone to find her. She needs a hero. Her fears are exposed. But the verses switch from “My name is nothing” and “running with the demons” to “Our name is freedom” and “dancing with the fairies”. While the spirits and northern lights symbolize freedom. The trio also has fun on stage. They start in different places, and meet up later (to match the story). The camera cuts to whoever's turn it is. The LED shows hurtling mountains and galaxies; and blocky forest animals at the end. The song has a night forest vibe too.

✓ Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade (winner review in Grand Final post)

✓ North Macedonia: Tamara Todevska - Proud The real jury winner, North Macedonia's first ever top 10, and their first qualifier since 2012. What a way to debut a new country name! The song is addressed to Tamara's daughter, but it also works as Tamara talking to her younger self. It's about how girls are treated unfairly. She warns that “they” (men) will try to dictate her behaviour and physical appearance. And that society's rules were set up for her to lose. But she promises to be by her daughter's side, and empowers her to speak up and show her pride – to “go and break the rules”. Tamara also gives a strong performance. Her vocal has a pleading, determined tone, showing the importance of the message. She gasps a lot. She repeats the words “I'm proud” like she's clinging on. And the song's mood is very tearful. But the pacing is tedious. The piano repeatedly dings at first, then it sounds withdrawn. The song pauses during one gasp, then the dings return. The chorus piano tickles a bit. The piano emphasizes the “GO ON NOW” part. The sad string break also sounds withdrawn, where the LED shows photos of little girls and mothers. Then verse #2 intensifies with sawing strings, peaking with the “SHINE YOUR LIGHT” backing shout. The next “GO ON NOW” has the strings echo the piano part. And the final chorus is intense. It also pauses on the last “Tell them...” On stage, Tamara wears a green and black dress, with 6 reflections of her backside on the LED. And at the end, a photo of Tamara and her daughter is shown.

✓ Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth Their first top 10 since the vote-buying scandal. It's a professional composition, and Chingiz has great stage presence, but the chorus is too choppy. It's like his voice keeps cutting in and out. Still, the production is really cool. The verses have submerged whirring synths, relentless taps, warped “AHUH” howls, and hard “HEH” claps. It has a good rhythm. The pre-chorus adds a hint of traditional guitar. There's a quick pause, then the pulsating/snapping chorus rises above water, with an “ooh oh” post-chorus. The howls are motorized in verse 2. And Chingiz chants in the bridge, before unleashing a long note. The high budget staging involves two robot arms shining lasers on Chingiz's chest, drawing an anatomical heart outline, as he stands in front an upside down triangle. He also looks to the side at first. Later, the LED shows a yellow beating heart and a broken image of a woman's face. There's a swirly water hologram. And during the bridge, a white light hologram of Chingiz beams upwards, then quickly descends. It's like his soul left his body... it's too much. The central hook is Chingiz repeatedly telling his ex to “SHUT UP ABOUT IT!” He doesn't want to hear her “truth” (her explanation). It's too soon. The song has a 'I don't her' attitude, although the falsetto chorus shows agony. He tells himself to get through this and to keep it together. He won't let her break him. He drinks to forget that she moved on. But she randomly shows up, so he reminds himself to not give in.

My Ranking:

01. Norway: Keiino - Spirit in the Sky ✓ 02. Switzerland: Luca Hänni - She Got Me ✓ 03. Albania: Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju tokës ✓ 04. Netherlands: Duncan Laurence - Arcade ✓ 05. Malta: Michela - Chameleon ✓ 06. Sweden: John Lundvik - Too Late for Love ✓ 07. Romania: Ester Peony - On a Sunday 08. Armenia: Srbuk - Walking Out 09. Azerbaijan: Chingiz - Truth ✓ 10. Lithuania: Jurij Veklenko - Run with the Lions

✓ Cyprus: Tamta - Replay 2019 kicks off with “Fuego” 2.0! Both songs have Major Lazer-esque production and female singers acting playfully dominant (“You've got a problem”... “I'm the one to blame... “I know you miss the taste”). The subject twists and turns at 2AM craving Tamta, so they call her “early in the morning” for an undercover booty call. But she's not a tease, she's “all in tonight”. The title “Replay” implies this is a recurring thing. The song is also catchy AF, particularly the “THAT'S WHEN YOU CALL ME” / “EARLY IN THE MORNING” repetition shouts and the “replay-replay-replay” stutters (it replays the word replay!) The stutters have a jittery visual effect too. On stage, Tamta wears shiny leather and turns to the side a lot. There's also 4 dancing cowboys. They move their hands into the frame and remove her jacket later on. She then gets sensual during the bridge. The performance starts with the spotlight turning on/off on Tamta as well. And the black clothing theme is contrasted by 6 pillars of white light. Musically, “Replay” opens with laggy guitar plucks. Then the first verse suppresses the plucks, while inserting a few purring motor bursts (like the song is glitching), and adds taps midway to get things moving. The chorus stops the beat via a slam, like it's had enough. Then the beat returns and builds up, pausing on the main lyric. Then broken stutter ticks lead to the brass-y “womp-womp” drop. That drop makes you sink on the dancefloor. The bridge is a cool down. And there's pyro bangs to start the last chorus, which keeps the beat this time.

× Montenegro: D mol - Heaven This just sound like Christian music on a beach. No thanks. The group harmonies, the wholesome smiles, and the white outfits give that vibe. The vocals, staging, and instrumental are messy as well. The chorus uses the word “falling” too many times. The odd camera angles don't really work – I don't like how they keep turning towards the camera. Their different placements on stage at the start look random. And I cringe when they all look up to heaven. Moreover, the lyrics aren't profound. The narrator was left lonely, heartbroken and empty before they found love. They felt naked, blind and ready to give up. That's the entire story. The first verse repeats a few words, but not in a noticeable way. The “I'll catch you while you're falling” line feels shoehorned in too. The group even tries to catch one of them from falling at the end... which is also cringe. And the instrumental has WAY too much going on. It doesn't mix traditional and modern very well. The intro feels “off”, with squeals, snaps, and a warped siren. The first verse is mainly piano, with a bit of traditional strings and echoing steps. There's a splash transition. Then the chorus has a snappy beat, pan flutes, and more squeals; followed by a string break. The song's tempo increases from this point on. There's quacks in the 2nd half. Verse 2 reduces to computer “blips” midway, followed by a hip-hop-ish drum, a quick pause and a thunderclap. And the song ends with more strings. Nothing about this entry works.

× Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away Finland selects the DJ behind the “Sandstorm” meme, while UMK chooses the song. It was the same with Saara Aalto last year. But “Look Away” finished dead last in SF1. The melody is limp, the “drop” is nothing, and the “look away”s in the chorus are never-ending. The “is it in my heaaaaad” hook is fine though. The song's message is about how we “look away” from the serious issues affecting our world. Sebastian is done with singing about love; this is more important. He can't ignore what's happening. He wonders how we sleep at night and questions if he's the only one mentally affected by this. Musically, the song starts with two drum kicks, then the dance club piano and buzzing comes in. Those kicks are reused for transitions. While the pre-chorus piano is more isolated. Then there's a beat acceleration at the beginning, middle, and end of the “drop”. But the “drop” plays it too safe and doesn't change things up enough – it's just a faster tempo. Things briefly cool off before verse 2, which adds splashy drums. The next pre-chorus uses antsy guitar and a slower boom-boom-splash beat. The latter is repeated at the end of the song. The staging is the best aspect though. It involves a random dancer, all alone on the main stage, moving against a wind machine with seawater on the LED behind her. Midway through, she “disappears” into darkness, and is shown drowning on the LED. Then she “magically” returns to the stage. I guess magic works when you look away.

× Poland: Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali się) “White Voice” singing is polarizing. The first few seconds of “Fire of Love” involves ear-splitting shrieks... it's not a good first impression. But the verses salvage this somewhat. There's an electric guitar that runs through them that slices through everything and gives a bad-ass attitude. It's just the sneering, high-pitched chorus vocals that are grating. Although they do serve a purpose. “Pali się” is the Polish way of shouting “FIRE! FIRE!” to alarm someone. So Tulia are literally shouting “FIRE! FIRE!” in that chorus. Lyrically, the song is about how love will melt the frozen, doubting heart. How it'll free the abandoned, indifferent heart that's hard as stone and feels nothing. All it takes is one small spark. And then the fire brigade is useless! On stage, the 4 women stand on a spinning platform, while dressed in traditional attire. They're draped in long red veils that they remove in unison early on. And the LED shows their faces one at a time. After that a cappella shrieking intro is over with, the electric guitar and claps jump in right away, alongside an “ah huh ah huh” chant. The guitar groove drives the verses, with light stomps and hi-hat. While the chorus is a clappy schoolyard chant with tambourine jingles. There's a pause after each chorus before the guitar returns. And the 3rd verse delays the guitar even longer for an audience clap-a-long moment. The song also begins and ends in English.

✓ Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi “Sebi” expresses intimacy so well, with Zala's minimalist vocal, the chill instrumental, and how the couple stands very close to each other. She looks directly at Gašper while he takes in what she says. He alternates between smiles and serious faces. And he breaks eye contact a few times to look at his instruments as a distraction. The camera also spins around them, and the LED shows a starry night sky. There's a nighttime ambience here. “Sebi” is a late night conversation, where Zala offers her support when Gašper feels overwhelmed. She says progress keeps her going. That she goes with the flow and resists it. That it's okay to cry. That they accept each other despite different desires. That he doesn't need to prove himself. Not everything has a meaning; nothing is forever; and common tears and fears create a bond. The chorus, meanwhile, repeats the words “Stay true to yourself / Don't tell me to forgive you”. The message is that you don't have to be a perfect person in a relationship. Zala is taking that pressure off. The production is very atmospheric and quirky as well. The intro has dark dreamy keyboards, hollow knocks, broken metal tick rattles, and computerized claps. While the verses reduce to just knocks and taps, with some purring motor bits. Verse 2 has more rattles though. And the chorus is the same as the intro. They both soar. There's some distant voices in there too. None of these quirks clash either. It's smooth. Zala's vocal might seem boring, but the chorus melody makes up for it.

✓ Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend The “Don't Come Easy”/“Dance You Off” of 2019. There's so much awkward energy here - the nervous smiles, the spoken word pre-chorus, the lead singer hopping backwards, his dance moves, him sliding/falling to the floor, him gesturing the camera to follow him. And it's like they're acting awkward on purpose, which comes across pretentious. I do like the editing though. Each band member is inside a rectangular frame, and during the chorus, their frames multiply and shift around, while the LED alternates bold colours. They wear bold sweaters too (black, yellow, or red). But those are Belgium flag colours, not Malawi. Also, the lyrics are asinine. The singer overhears his crush making love next door, and later upstairs. This must be an apartment. They were neighbours at 13 but now she's just a “friend of a friend of a...” etc. I don't really like that hook. He still dreams about meeting up, saying “I'm your man”, even though he forgot her name. This is one-sided. I think it's meant to be silly though. The production shifts between dreary and chipper. The song starts with gradual drips, then the drums and cowbell come in. There's a sad desert guitar. Then the pre-chorus reduces to a bluesy keyboard, creating awkward silence for the spoken word part. The drums return for the chorus, alongside a wiggly guitar groove and dull synth gargles. An 80s synth break follows this, with the same wiggly groove. There's also annoying “I'm only a friend” responses. And two long notes at the end.

× Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az én apám Joci returns after just 2 years... only to give Hungary their first NQ in 10 years... and they haven't participated since. “Origo” was captivating, but I can see how “Az én apám” got lost. The only catchy part is the “n-na na na na na; ya ya ya” part. Joci's performance shows the song is meaningful to him though. He's cherishing the memory of his father, who was gentle and told stories through song, which drove away Joci's sadness. Every road lead to him. It was the “old beautiful days”. Joci remarks how life is too short. He notices the facial resemblance as he ages. And he's proud to tell his son about his grandfather. Musically, “Az én apám” is a folk song, starting with just an acoustic guitar. The foot stomps appear next. Then the first chorus rests, with a couple string? dives. Then the post-chorus uses snaps, thunderous stomps, and folk strings. The snaps remain in verse 2. And chorus 2 adds a marching snare and more heavy stomps. The percussion is strongest by the end. The outro goes on a while though. The song is over before it reaches a climax. But it's a touching dedication. The “na na na” part is like humming or whistling while lost in thought. It is a pensive song. The stage is simple. It starts with Joci sitting on a box in dark lighting, which works for a folk song. Then the LED shows fatherly faces. And a golden tree with roots on the floor later on. There's also fire rain at the end.

✓ Belarus: Zena - Like It #StandWithUkraine

Also Belarus's last performance. Zena's vocals aren't great, some of the lyrics have bad English, and the chorus is bratty and repetitive (“YES YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT” x8). The “tam-tara-ram” hook doesn't do much either. But the two dancers constantly doing flips are engaging. And the ad libs break the repetitiveness (I like the “BABY REPEAT MY MOVES” ending). The song opens with a short distant cry. Then an acoustic guitar brings '00s pop nostalgia, with piano and clacks added midway. Next, there's a halting strike, a low piano chorus, a beat acceleration, a hanging synth, and a blaring synth “drop”. I like those last 2. Verse 2 adds a bass synth and broken metal tick stutters. While the bridge extends chorus 2 before cooling down; leading to a “yoUu goOo wIth mE bAAAABY” climax. The song advocates putting yourself out there. Zena is attached to her phone, outside her comfort zone, and tired of being alone. She asks karma what to do. But she's done with being all talk no action - she'll take the risk and won't give up. The chorus is her convincing either herself, her crush, or other introverts “yes, you're gonna like [going for] it”. Then, verse 2 is an invitation to dance. “Add hashtag to find ya” is certainly a lyric. On stage, there's a bunch of equipment boxes. Zena sits on one and the dancers wheel her around. She later leans ontop of the dancers. And the backing singers come out at the end. The LED shows a severed face with animals running through it (weird). There's also pyro during the chorus.

✓ Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna The only 2019 qualifier I didn't remember. “Kruna” is an ordinary Balkan Ballad with a shout-y chorus. And I thought that chorus was her crying in desperation at first, but it's actually a rooftop declaration: “Let the world hear me now / I'm guarding you with my life!” Nevena wants everyone know about her devotion to her fiance. She also says his “dear eyes” calm her down, the night is long and sad without him, she'd die to protect him, and “the crown is yours”. The lyrics aren't super deep. But Nevena's voice is powerful and she owns that stage despite being completely alone. She also wears an assortment of silver accessories and a black dress that exposes one leg. And she conjures a hologram of swirling blue water at one point. The LED, meanwhile, displays cracked ice and a splashy whirlpool. Musically, the first half of “Kruna” is driven by an acoustic guitar. There's also a fiddle and backing whispers that appear at certain points. The chorus switches to raging acoustic guitar and piano, finishing on a stop that removes the tension. The song's ending does this twice. At the midpoint, there's an electric guitar ignition that ushers in the drums and orchestral strings for the second half. Then a few piano notes lead to verse 2. And those drums pause for the next pre-chorus, leading to another ignition. The pre-chorus also switches to English. The electric guitar parts are too short though.

× Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up Just like last year, Belgium NQ's with a song similar to “City Lights”. This one even shares a songwriter. Maybe it was Eliot's timid vocal. He gives the song sensitive vulnerability though. The lyrics are open to interpretation. Eliot feels rejected and craves a connection. It keeps him up at night. He fights to have someone and won't passively wait for it. He runs into liars, so lies back out of fear. Then, in the bridge, he's ready to face them, saying he won't abuse them. As for the metaphorical “light”, it signifies change, motivation (“feeding our fire”), and hope (“saving our lives”). “Wake Up” is an atmospheric synthpop song. The verses follow a wandering, dry-air synth, with clicks and drums added midway the first time. Then the chorus changes the vibe and tempo entirely (it “wakes up”). There's a drum pound for each syllable on the catchy “I came to fight...” repetitions, followed by 4 separated keyboard notes. It's quite effective. This stumbling chorus resists the smooth windy verses. The second verse then sprints, with constant clicks this time. And the bridge escalates, then stops upon the last chorus. On stage, there's two drummers striking large upright drums. Their drumstick movements are engaging (when they raise and cross them). They also wear blue T-shirts with orange peace signs; the same colours as Eliot's jacket. And during the chorus, everyone raises their fists (drumsticks included). The overhead triangle thing moves around too. And there's a smoke puff climax.

× Georgia: Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going “Keep On Going” certainly takes you on a journey. It feels like I'm staring the Grim Reaper in the face. It's a haunting funeral song. But it's so overly intense, serious and... creepy. The song opens with a church bell slam and weary bagpipes. Then the piano and little guitar fidgets take over, with more slams. Plus background throat chanting and orchestral strings. The pre-chorus uses twitchy snare, ground-shaking drums, and strings; escalating midway with firm clasping drums. This build-up cut offs, reducing to a heartbeat thump. Then the instruments return one by one. The beat stops again for a creepy choir chant with church bells. And the drums return for the ending. These drums are so intense. Oto's voice also becomes raspier and growlier as the song progresses; especially during that agonizing “Vaarada varada varada rada hee” bit. But ultimately, this song is one long build-up to nothing. The lyrics reference the barbed wire fence that separates South Ossetia from Georgia. Oto repeatedly says “go”; as in: Go walk. Go find the missing songs. Go follow your heart. Go cross that fence. There's a wounded singer behind the fence still singing. Singing heals each other's wounds. On stage, the LED starts with an ECG, then a line of walking silhouettes. It's mostly mountains after that. Oto walks across a dock image on the floor at one point. The camera spins around him for a bit. The choir marches forward when it's their turn, as Oto faces them. And there's hellfire flames at the end.

✓ Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity I knew Kate from “The Last Day on Earth”, a #3 hit in Australia in 2009. It's a beautiful song, but “Zero Gravity” takes a more unusual direction. The most memorable aspect is the inventive staging, where Kate and the two backing singers swing around on tall poles, as they “orbit” an Earth hologram. And the LED adds an outer space backdrop. They literally escaped gravity! Kate's tiara and sparkly white dress give snow queen vibes too. The song is equally unusual. Verse 1 follows sparse piano notes, with a subdued, anxious, rapid, bubbling beat underneath, and lingering “hey you...”'s. While verse 2 uses a jogging synth beat instead (I like when it kicks in). And the “I've been...” pre-chorus adds an angelic harp. The chorus completely halts the momentum. Twice. Kate gives an operatic “ze-E-e-E-E-Ero... gra-HA-HA-HA-vity”, guided by string jerks. It's polarizing, but it works. Then some piano slams and tense strings escalate things. Which is a tease the first time; the eventual climax is SO epic and worth the wait. The 2nd post-chorus builds up with some “and it feels like”'s and Kate's operatic flexing, culminating in a big note. Then the backing repeatedly shouts “NOTHING HOLD ME DOWN” as the drums slam down with snaps. That climax has such a freeing feeling and the wild swinging on stage really complements it. The song then speeds up at the end. The lyrics are about Kate needing to let go of someone holding her down. The pain and sadness gotta go. She couldn't open them up. And she feels cold staying there.

This year, Australia did a national final for the first time. Sheppard and Courtney Act took part, while the runner-up, Electric Fields's “2000 and Whatever”, is a massive fan favourite.

✓ Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra Iceland breaks a 4-year NQ streak by sending one of the most “WTF” entries in Eurovision history. That's 3 strange entries in a row tonight. “Hatrið” is the epitome of “love it or hate it”. And... this is just not for me. The microphone-eating screaming vocals in the verses are downright un-listenable. The deranged baby voice in the chorus is fine though. And I kinda like the hardcore, industrial techo beat. It persists for almost the entire song, save for a couple pauses, and when the bridge offers a breather. The song opens with a body-vibrating heavy bass. Then a “HUH!” ushers in the main beat, which includes construction site metal clanging. And the chorus adds lighter euphoric synths to it. I assume the lyrics are a commentary on the rise of far right politicians (ie. “Europe will crumble”). The title translates to “Hate Will Prevail”. The song mentions unrestrained debauchery, an endless hangover, meaningless life, all-consuming emptiness, illusionary happiness, and “Multilateral delusions / Unilateral punishments”. It's very dystopian and pessimistic. And the chorus expresses vague sadness. The staging is the most “WTF” aspect though. The band wears BDSM gear. There's a giant cage with a punisher swinging a hammer back and forth ontop. There's laggy and blurry visual effects. There's welding sparks and flames. A dancer escapes the cage, looks submissive, and crawls around. The chorus singer lays upside down on the stairs at first. And he gets pulled around later. The screaming singer scares me lol.

✓ Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm I guess we need a palate cleanser after Iceland. But this sounds like a generic Melodifestivalen entry. In fact, Victor will have his own generic MF entry in 2020! “Storm” just lacks personality, and the melody and production are bland. Sure, the verses are introspective, where he keeps questioning if his approach to life is wrong. But his story isn't personal enough: he keeps fighting tides, he worries about losing it all, he misses the meaning of what remains. The chorus (and post-chorus) then promote a message of resilience with uninspired lyrics. At the end of the song, Victor questions if he's wrong about this too. Otherwise, this fusion of folk and dance music is like Avicii's “Wake Me Up”. “Storm” starts with a “content with life” acoustic guitar. Then the finger snaps and backing “woo-oo”s come in, followed by an actual thunderclap. The chorus aims to be an anthem, where it punches on each syllable of Victor shouting “STORM. LIKE. THIS.”/“MAN.LIKE.THIS.” etc. The first chorus holds back, whereas the second one builds with sawing strings. The latter is when the “drop” finally hits, which is big, energized house music with more snaps. The post-chorus continues this climax until the bridge quiets down. The song also returns to acoustic at the end. On stage, Victor plays a guitar, as the LED shows blocky clouds. He turns around a couple times so the camera can show the audience behind him. And later, he's surrounded by holograms of clouds and lightning. Cool effects.

× Portugal: Conan Osíris - Telemóveis Back to the strange entries. I guess last year's host country can afford taking risks. The song is kinda pretentious, but the production is interesting (I like whenever the full beat returns). The staging ruined its chances of qualifying though. The visuals are off-putting - the green outfits, fake sideburns, and squirmy dance moves. I like the dark red lighting at least. On stage, the dancer sits on a staircase. Then Conan meets him up there. They walk down in unison. The dancer collapses, tiptoes, sticks his tongue out, leans back, and shoots a pretend arrow. Then Conan is dragged backwards like a marionette. The instrumental is dark and mixes elements from all over the world. It begins and ends with patient, ominous East Asian strings. As if your boat is approaching danger. There's bass booms, then the trap-y “BA BA BA” beat overtakes with relentless striking/skipping ticks and human gasps. The second verse reduces to nudges, before heightening back to the fuller sound. Then a Portuguese guitar emerges. All the above elements come and go throughout the song. They're used in various combinations. There's “HEY” pauses too. The lyrics warn against cellphone addiction. “I broke the cellphone trying to call heaven” sounds silly, but it's saying we shouldn't waste time trying to contact the dead. The “who kills who?” repetition relates to how phones give constant dopamine hits that consume us. Conan also repeats “I'll break the cellphone” if you won't respond to real life's demands. Then at the end, he reveals he's the one “who killed who”.

✓ Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love Greece was also overhyped. I wasn't keen on Katerine's voice in 2019 (those “ooh ooh hoo”s in particular), but “Better Love” has grown on me since. She sounds earnest in her quest to go beyond society's made up expectations of what love is. She can't hide or fight this urge to find “better love”, which she defines as enjoying the messiness, feeling ageless, and learning carelessness. She's lost enough already. The bridge then invites the subject in, not caring what others think. And the outro repeats “What you waiting for?” many times. The song opens with tunnel voices; followed by a little bubbling sound, then finger snaps, then taps. The chorus is quite loud by contrast, with thunderous drums and claps. It also includes quivers, individual clicks, and backing “ahhhhhh”. The second verse adds splashy drums and backing “hey!”s. While the bridge switches to deep rolling drums with the claps. Katerine also gives a long note afterwards. The stage is like an 18th century royal ball. It involves pastel colours and fancy clothing. It starts with everyone frozen in place in front of this pink backdrop. Then two ballet dancers sword dance. Someone carries a giant balloon and tosses it into the audience. And the dancers twirl ribbons at the end. The backdrop also fills up with flowers and the LED shows petals. The chorus hook is kinda “blah”, but I like the song's atmosphere of supreme elegance. It fits a royal ball. It has an opening up to the world vibe too.

✓ San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na San Marino's best result is surprisingly NOT “Adrenalina”, it's Serhat. The televote loved “Say Na Na Na”. It's a very upbeat song with a fun, catchy chorus. It isn't creepy like his 2016 entry. And he has fun on stage. But he can't sing... at all. The disco production is cheap. And this isn't the most essential bop. The song opens with a thin drum machine. Then the lively disco energy is pretty consistent. The verses have more modern synths. The pre-chorus submerges. The bridge has flappy drums and a call-and-response routine. And the Turkish counting includes 3 bangs. In the lyrics, Serhat notices someone who's “sad and lonely”. He asks what's wrong and why they want to run away. He also gives a bunch of advice: “who cares... it happens everyday”; “love all colours of this life”; “be a hero, be the rainbow”. He's very pushy about it, saying “look at me”, “hear me”, “call me anytime”. And the chorus repeats “say na na na” too many times. I guess singing “na na na” is meant to lift your spirits. The performance is better than the song though. It starts on the overhead camera in red lighting, as the 5 backing members look up and wiggle around, and the floor light flashes. They have very positive energy. Then we see Serhat on a platform, where the LED is used very well. It shows lyrics, flashing colours inside a box, pixelated noise, hypnotic moving lines, and white boxes rippling outward. There's a pyro blast upon the final chorus. And the two dancers next to Serhat are enjoyable.

My Ranking:

01. Slovenia: Zalagasper - Sebi ✓ 02. Australia: Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity ✓ 03. Cyprus: Tamta - Replay ✓ 04. Belgium: Eliot - Wake Up 05. Serbia: Nevena Božović - Kruna ✓ 06. Greece: Katerine Duska - Better Love ✓ 07. Hungary: Joci Pápai - Az én apám 08. Portugal: Conan Osíris - Telemóveis 09. San Marino: Serhat - Say Na Na Na ✓ 10. Belarus: Zena - Like It ✓

11. Estonia: Victor Crone - Storm ✓ 12. Poland: Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali się) 13. Finland: Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away 14. Georgia: Oto Nemsadze - Keep On Going 15. Iceland: Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra ✓ 16. Czech Republic: Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend ✓ 17. Montenegro: D mol - Heaven

Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 3rd year in a row where the SF2 closer opens the Grand Final. I did not expect the juries to rank this last.

Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción This is like the sweetest love song ever. Yeah, the couple broke up a few months later, but most relationships don't last anyways. Feelings change over time. You live in the moment, and this was how they felt in May 2018. On stage, they look smitten with their cute smiles and eye contact. The opening shot shows them standing far apart in dark lighting, while the audience's phone lights shine behind them. Then the camera spins around Alfred and zooms in on Amaia, as they trade lead vocals. Afterwards, the pair slowly walks towards each other. They hold hands, they embrace. And the camera continues spin around them at certain points. The song itself is a classy, old-fashioned, stuffy ballad. But it also has a tender, romantic texture and a very nice melody. Plus Amaia & Alfred's voices are sweet. “Tu canción” starts with slow, sparse piano notes. Said piano increases in the first chorus, where the strings sneak in. Then the second verse/chorus adds in low-key percussion and makes the strings more noticeable. While the bridge sees the instrumental quiet, then intensify, then stop upon the final chorus. Then the song finally “bursts open”. That “OHHH OHHH” build-up is very effective. I also like the “Siento que bailo…” hook. The lyrics involve Amaia & Alfred expressing their love to each other. Alfred says flying to the moon now feels real; Amaia says his voice shelters her. It's very lovey dovey.

Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! “STOP THE MUSIC!”

Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old

Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You

Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza

Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song A semi-final winner placing 15th in the grand final is unexpected.

Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim Better than the song they won with. This did not deserve last place, although 39 points is pretty high for that. I can see how “O jardim” was overlooked though – not much happens in the song. There's no big melody, no epic climax. Instead, the song's purpose is to maintain a specific mood. That mood is peaceful grieving. Isaura wrote “O jardim” about her late grandmother. The lyrics repeat the phrase “Now that you're not here, I'll water your garden”, as if this thought keeps circling in her mind. She literally takes care of her grandmother's garden to keep her memory alive. The verses don't translate to English very well, however. The music starts with slow, sad piano notes. Then this subtle anxious sound is added underneath, followed by tiny acoustic tings. Then, from 1:36-2:07, the beat switches to a series of metal spring sounds and inconsistent jittery taps. It's a cool sound and it's my favourite part. It doesn't change the mood either. This is also when Isaura comes on stage and turns “O jardim” into a duet. The ending is minimalist and like a light howl. “O jardim” is all about simplicity. Doing anything extra wouldn't work. Cláudia gives a sensitive vocal too. She seems tearful at the end. On stage, she starts in a dark silhouette. She closes her eyes. She sways a bit. There's spotlights behind her. The stage doesn't feel like it's missing anything though. I also like how Cláudia's voice jumps out at certain points.

United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm The UK is back to flopping. “Storm” is infamous for the stage invader, but the Grand Final video on YouTube replaced her performance with a rehearsal. SuRie sings this with genuine compassion for her family, but the song is bland. The chorus is 'whatever' to me, both melodically and lyrically. The “Toge-e-ether” and “sto-o-orm” hooks are weak. And the lyrics are basic. The “spread your love...” bridge is climactic though. In the verses, SuRie addresses her brother, sister, mother and father one at a time. She reminds her siblings of their childhood worldview (their fearless hopes and dreams), and says she still believes in this stuff. Then she asks her mom if she did good enough. The chorus is her reassuring they'll overcome the storm together. It's an uplifting song with a straightforward message. But it lacks depth I guess? The instrumental only grabs my attention in a few spots too. The song starts with the piano, but quickly adds foot taps, squeals, submerged quivers and finger snaps. The chorus then diminishes back to the piano, before it accelerates via heavy claps; leading the second half bulldozing through with drums and whirls. The second chorus also starts dramatically, with stomps and sawing strings instead. The bridge uses dramatic boom-claps as well. Later, the song returns to the piano before the last chorus. And the outro repeats the bridge lyric. On stage, SuRie stands at the front of a tunnel made of lit-up squares. There's also pyro upon the last chorus.

Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca Actually her voice is kind of annoying.

Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone The only time Germany wasn't bottom 2 during 2015-2023. All it took was a personal, sincere, down-to-Earth ballad to reach top 5. That's how Ireland kept winning! But it sounds like an Ed Sheeran ballad, and I don't like Ed Sheeran (I also hear Adele's “Someone Like You”). The “1-2-3” hook (“1 love / 2 hearts / 3 kids”) is kinda annoying too. And the lyrics are messy. In the song, Michael reflects on growing up without his father, who passed away when Michael was young. However, the wording of “one love”, “loving mum” and “You let me walk this road alone” makes it sound like his father chose to abandon him. There's no mention of a “loving dad”. Still, if this were written in another language, would I even notice? Lines like “I was told that you were too” and “My childhood hero will always be you” still get to me. He sees his father in himself. He misses his father when he needs guidance. His dad provided protection and wisdom. Musically, the verses follow a quick back-and-forth piano. Then the piano is more pronounced in the chorus. The strings come in later. There's an “oh oh oh” bridge. Plus some crashes towards the end. And the drums enter to carry the final chorus. I'm not crazy about this arrangement, but I don't mind the “every now and then” hook. The stage starts darkly lit. Then, a semi-circle LED screen acts as a lyric video behind Michael. It also shows family photos, which really pulls at the heartstrings. And there's hypnotic images during the bridge.

Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall

France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy France is my #2 again! “Mercy” tells the harrowing, but fortunate, story of Nigerian refugee Taiwo Yussif giving birth on a rescue ship. She named the baby “Mercy”. The title is play on words, since “merci” means “thank you” in French. The lyrics are from the POV of the baby. She recounts how her mother fled the war at home. They had nothing to lose. The sea (or “blue immensity”) became the enemy. She was lucky to even be born (“They offered me a hand / And I'm alive”). The song addresses how not every refugee has a happy ending like this. Many of them don't make it. The title implies they deserve mercy. The instrumental and Émilie's voice capture the mood of this situation well. It's a bleak and distressed vibe, but with a message of perseverance. The song starts with minuscule guitar plucks and finger snaps, followed by some cowbell(?). Then a snap-shut transition starts the chorus, which has a fuller sound, and includes distorted cry responses and some “pippity pips” appearing midway. The chorus has a great melody too. The song later quiets for the bridge. And the outro repeats a chant of “merci, merci”, as the duo pushes their hands forward, and the audience joins in. Maybe they could've done something more with the stage though. They're dressed in funeral black. They walk forward in unison. The camera follows her across the stage bridge. And they're on the audience ramp for the “merci, merci” chant. But it needed something more.

Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me HE DID THE FLIP!!

Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground It's just missing something to make my top 10.

Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love This could've been an anthem.

Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters A borderline qualifier that flopped in the final.

Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones

Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day

Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off “With 21 points... Sweden”

Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár I think he screams even more in the final.

Israel: Netta - Toy (winner review below)

Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em

Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together

Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego

Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente I was puzzled by the 249 televote points... until I realized “Non mi” references several, then-recent, terrorist attacks (Cairo churches, La Rambla Street, 2015 Paris attacks, London Bridge, the truck in Nice). Plus 9/11 “skyscrapers” and 7/7 “subways”. Most of these happened in Eurovision countries. It must've struck a chord. The lyrics are also displayed in various languages so viewers can understand them, along with faces in the fonts. The chorus is an emphatic “You did nothing to me”, saying the terrorists didn't win. Life continues. It's just “pointless wars”. The song doesn't hide the horrific reality either: “blood in the sewer”; “arms without hands”; “mothers without children”. It also finds commonality in religions, dismisses racism, and says mass murder isn't a valid belief. And that “the smile of a child” shows resilience. This is a wordy, lyrically dense song. The duo sings SO quickly to cram everything in that it makes the melody ineffective, despite the up-and-down pattern. I also dislike Fabrizio's hoarse screams at the end, even if it expresses fury. Ermal wails after the bridge too. The instrumental is restless though. It starts with a twinkly guitar and light stomps, then light jingles. There's some slam-downs in the first chorus. Then the second verse increases the tempo into a folksy scared running drum beat. There's some guitar wails later. And the bridge quiets down when they walk to separate bridges. “Non mi” has a strong message and it isn't a cheesy peace song; but it's just not something I seek out much.

The Winner:

Israel achieves their 4th win, exactly 20 years after their 3rd... which was exactly 20 years after their 1st. I guess they'll win again in 2038? Between “Diva” and “Toy”, Israel's results were all over the place: 4 top 10s, 6 NQs, and several times in the bottom half of the scoreboard. The juries ranked “Toy” 3rd, but Netta's 317 televote points were more than enough. Weirdly, the semi-final was the opposite, where the juries were more favourable than the public.

This is an annoying song, but the chicken noises make it worse. “Toy” starts a cappella, with Netta making a bunch of strange mouth sounds (“*bird trill*, ouch, hey!, hm, la!”). Then the backing comes in and she starts clucking like a chicken. This irritating intro lasts for 20+ seconds. It's such a “WTF” moment. It makes for a memorable first impression, but it turns “Toy” into a borderline joke entry. Once the instrumental starts, there's some “Ethnic pop” elements. Verse 1 contains casual hand drums, bass stomps that stop every few seconds, and a couple short jerks. Then the pre-chorus diminishes to a soft synth, before building up with beeps and a squeaky sound, as Netta clucks again. Then the chorus roars and bulldozes through (with more beeps), followed by a string-y post-chorus that rolls around, where the backing shouts “CULULUU”. Those “CULULUU”s are almost as irritating as the chicken noises. This is a weird criticism, but the chorus sounds too much like a Eurovision song. I get bored of it. The second verse starts with video game pew-pews. Then the bridge interrupts the second chorus, leading to a big vocal note on “BOYYYYY”, which transitions to the next string-y bit. The song pulls back again partway through the last chorus. And Netta finishes on another big note (“TOYYYYY”). The song is vengeful and in-your-face and Netta brings attitude and personality. The backing responses of “not your toy/stupid boy” are catchy too.

But the message is hard to take seriously when it's communicated in such a silly way. The lyrics were inspired by the #MeToo movement (“I'll take you down now!”), where Netta rejects being a man's toy, calling him a “stupid boy”. Her vocal has a bratty, ridiculing, and immature tone. She says the boys are too loud and forgot how to play the game. She doesn't care about their money or the “modern-time preachers”. And she makes chicken noises to insinuate he's a coward (like when someone goes “bawk bawk bawk”). The lyrics also mention childhood interests – teddy bear, Barbie, Simon Says, Pikachu, dolls, Wonder Woman – which adds a darker layer to this. The narrator sounds like a little girl. “You're stupid just like your smart.. PHONE!” is a funny line though. There's even a smartphone ding during it. “My Simon Says 'leave me alone'” is clever too, with respecting consent. And “Barbie got something to say” challenges the Barbie stereotypes. There's also a couple Hebrew phrases (“ani lo buba” and “stefa”) and the Japanese word “Baka” (stupid person). But I also think “On the MadaBaka beat” is a censored version of “MF-ing beat”. Apparently “Trump-pam-pau” is a Trump reference too. The lyrics say a lot... in the verses anyways. “Stupid boy” is a childish insult.

On stage, Netta is dressed in a kimono, with two bookcases full of golden cat figurines wagging their tails behind her. She also uses this touch pad thing, which spells the word “H-E-Y”. Meanwhile, the camera will cut to the 3 backing dancers making funny poses and dance moves. They start on the stage bridge, but join Netta later on. And everyone is on the audience ramp at the end. They also flap their arms like a chicken during the clucking. And there's some pyro for the first chorus. The dancers are funny at least.

Ultimately, this, “I Wanna” and “Hard Rock Hallelujah” are the closest to a novelty song winning. I don't think this is what Salvador had in mind during his winning speech... it must've been awkward to hand Netta the trophy. Also, Jack White was later added as a songwriter for similarities to “Seven Nation Army”... I don't hear it.

Winner rank: “D” Tier. Catchy but everything about this is annoying.

My Ranking:

Grand Final: 01. Cyprus: Eleni Foureira - Fuego 02. France: Madame Monsieur - Mercy 03. Estonia: Elina Nechayeva - La forza 04. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! 05. Austria: Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You 06. Portugal: Cláudia Pascoal - O jardim 07. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day 08. Lithuania: Ieva Zasimauskaitė - When We're Old 09. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground 10. Czech Republic: Mikolas Josef - Lie to Me

11. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder 12. Finland: Saara Aalto - Monsters 13. Germany: Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone 14. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love 15. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off 16. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca 17. Spain: Amaia & Alfred - Tu canción 18. Bulgaria: Equinox - Bones 19. Italy: Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - Non mi avete fatto niente 20. Israel: Netta - Toy 21. United Kingdom: SuRie - Storm 22. Ireland: Ryan O'Shaughnessy - Together 23. Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em 24. Albania: Eugent Bushpepa - Mall 25. Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár 26. Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song

✓ Norway: Alexander Rybak - That's How You Write a Song “Fairytale” gave me goosebumps... “That's How...” is just annoying and cringe. It's basically a sequel to “Love Love Peace Peace” (since Rybak made a cameo in that), but with sincere writing instructions this time. Here, he suggests jotting your ideas down to get started. I mean, that is the hardest part. But the lyrics are too cliché to be useful: Find your rhythm! Enjoy the small things! Find your mission! Work your magic! Not to mention his 2-step guide of “Believe in it” and “Just roll with it”, which aren't really steps. It's a thin concept. So thin that the song throws in a scatting break, an obligatory violin solo, and 6 choruses to fill time. The instrumental is beyond irritating too, ESPECIALLY the recurring 'da-da-da; da-da-da; da-da-da-da-DAH!' riffs and guitar scrambles. The song begins with a brief violin. Then the guitar and drums take over, creating a funky strutting rhythm. The “get big” line also has a lunging effect. Next, the “step 1” part switches to a stop/start motor. The scatting part reduces to just claps, leading to kicking drums. The violin solo adds motor bursts for dramatic effect. The beat pauses again after the violin. And the beat intensifies towards the end. Moreover, Rybak comes off smarmy on stage. He's trying TOO hard to be a charismatic goofball. The air violin / drums / etc (with the chalky animations) are cringe too. The animated objects on screen are unnecessary in general. This is the kind of song I don't want stuck in my head. It's too jaunty and kinda disjointed?

× Romania: The Humans - Goodbye Romania's first NQ, and they've been struggling ever since, aside from WRS. Maybe “Goodbye” was too serious. In the verses, the narrator is ready to take their own life. They tried to overcome it. They kept their battles a secret. While the chorus is the voice of someone trying to stop them. Singer Cristina sounds sincere, and the song has good intentions. But this friend lacks understanding or empathy. The wording of “Why can't you...” and “...by the way is all for free” sounds frustrated, and assumes it's an easy choice to be happy, when it's not. The melody isn't that catchy either – the chorus is too wordy and the verses are too stationary. The latter uses depressive short phrases and long pauses. The staging is confusingly abstract too. There's several mannequins in white masks to represent identity loss. The performance begins with the cellist removing her mask and walking away. Then the two guitarists (with their masks on backwards) switch potions around Cristina. They touch her, they push her backwards, they put her in the middle of a guitar jam. Then she wanders around the mannequins. Then they all reach out to the cellist. The instrumental channels '90s soft rock, but it isn't anything special. The verses are a generic piano ballad, with a cello appearing midway. The chorus is very different. It kicks off with a big vocal note and a pent-up, Coldplay-like release of rock guitars (I like this part). And it waits a moment before the chorus lyrics start.

✓ Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca RIP Sanja. “Nova deca” is missing something though. The intro lasts nearly a minute! It begins with a traditional flute and a thump, followed by mystical, otherworldly folk chanting that carries across the land. I love the windy, stuck-in-the-moment, mountaintop atmosphere of it. But the syllables are so stretched out. Eventually, the “tribal” drums arrive to power the rest of the song. The chorus, which swoops in during this transition, switches to a male vocalist, making the contrast apparent. The drums patter in the first chorus, with a bit of flute. Then the drums speed up in the second verse, which also inserts some unexpected 2011 blunt dance synths. This allows the second chorus to glide. Later, the bridge goes into a “na na ney” bit with rubbery drums, leading to a brief beat pause. However, I find the chorus melody underwhelming. And I get sick of the persistent chanting by the end. Lyrically, “Nova deca” is about how “new children create a better world with us”. The verses ask for rest, mention regret, and wish to create a better world for the kids. While the chorus describes the effect this person has on the narrator. The stage direction is professional too, with the arm movements in the intro, the bald guy hiding behind the women, the lead singers reaching in opposite directions, the arms across the chest gesture, and the group separating upon the second chorus. There's just something about their positioning on stage.

× San Marino: Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - Who We Are This just sounds like a demo. The message seems sincere, but the production is dated, the lyrics are generic, the mini robots are confusing, and the rap verse is corny. “UH, LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP, IT'S ME JENNY B!”; “If they dissin' you on Twitter / Don't get sad, don't be bitter!” 💀 That rap verse comes out of nowhere too. “Who We Are” is a defiant, loving yourself empowerment anthem to stand up to the bullies. Jessika mentions a bullied, lonely childhood. No one told her to be proud of her differences. So she put on a show. But now she stands tall. She uses the “we” pronoun to relate to the listener. But that “We... are who we are.... and who we are... is who we wanna be!” lyric is so empty. And the chorus is mostly cliches. The “AND WE'LL BE RISING WHEN WE FALL” hook is effective though. Musically, the song opens with downpouring dull taps. Then the first verse tries to be quirky, with air slices and glitchy echoing pops, plus broken metal ticks midway. While the pre-chorus switches to heavy strings. But the chorus feels underdeveloped. It goes for a suspended effect and a fist-raising vibe, but it's just generic pop-rock. Next, the bridge quiets to a piano. And Jenny B ad libs in the back half. On stage, there's 4 dancing robots. One of them holds a card saying “sometimes”, which later flips to “size doesn't matter”, while giving two middle fingers. Jessika is also confronted by two muscly dancers at the start (to represent the bullies?) Jessika's vocals aren't the best either.

✓ Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground I can see how this stood out. “Higher Ground” is inspired by Denmark's Viking history. The stage involves 5 bearded men standing next to two large ship sails, with a blowing snow effect during the key change. And a fun marching sequence during the Icelandic chant. All that's missing is the helmets. The lyrics initially romanticize this era of leaving home to conquer distant shores. But the “Yet victory won't prevail” line shatters the fantasy. Vikings were violent. The message is that violence is not the answer (ie. take the “higher ground”). The group even waves a white flag of surrender at the end. But the song isn't taken too seriously either. The only issue I have is the low vocals. The pop chorus is catchy though. The harmonies really elevate it. They even throw in some “OH OH OH”s for good measure. Musically, the song opens with a sawing, buzzing, distortion warning. Then the verse uses this ominous ghostly background, paired with a slithering synth, then some strings. Next, the forceful stomping drums (+ “HA HA”) announce the crew's arrival during the chorus. That chorus has an adventurous sailing against the waves vibe. The stomps are weaker in the second verse then disappear. Then the beat stops before key change. And the final chorus adds victory horns. I also like the synth in the Icelandic chant. Otherwise, the way the group stands together is effective. Same with their arm gestures, the marching, and Rasmussen entering in a hazy filter.

× Russia: Julia Samoylova - I Won't Break #StandWithUkraine

So after being DQ'ed in 2017, Russia gives Julia a second chance... with a song that was destined to NQ. Was this a ploy to play the victim? Possibly. But my low ranking isn't because of the politics... it's because “I Won't Break” is a bland, generic ballad and Julia's vocals aren't that good. She sounds like she started learning English a week ago. She even forgets to sing at one point. And why are her eyes closed so much? The instrumental is so anonymous and indistinct as well. It kinda reminds me of Sia's “Chandelier”. The song starts with some sparse, “at peace” piano notes. Then the bucket ticking comes in. The verses have slight ice synths too. The chorus, meanwhile, sees the percussion explode, as the backing shouts “I WON'T BREA-A-A-A-AK”. But when I hear the chorus all I think is “...that's it?”. The hook and explosive percussion are so basic and “blah”. The “even in the darkness...” bit is okay though. The final chorus then adds a siren-y transition. The lyrics are a cliche word salad (“when it comes to emotions/from the deepest of oceans”!) The song is about how Julia will be emotionally strong from now on. Her sandcastle turned to stone. Her broken wings are soaring with kings and queens... sure. The staging is similar to Estonia, with some swirling colours on this volcano structure Julia sits on. The two dancers are engaging though. I like their moves on the walkway. “Flame Is Burning” was better but not by much.

✓ Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day Such inventive and brilliant staging! It's like a comedic skit. The trio each has a lookalike – in matching blue, yellow or red – standing behind a wall of split doors that are continuously opened and closed. There's cartoon-like door chases; an illusion of yellow girl being split in 3; the rear feet and front feet dancing together; the 3 heads poking above the wall; and legs walking vertically. Then at the end, the lookalikes join the others out front. The coordination is impressive. “My Lucky Day” is a love triangle involving secrets, temptation, and relationship uncertainty. But with a lighthearted tone. It's also ambiguous who's “number 1” or “number 2”. And I assume “make some music” = sex. Blue guy sings verse 1, while yellow girl and red guy cheat behind him. Then the men switch roles for verse 2. Yellow girl also jumps in for the pre-chorus, boosting the “something tells me...” hook. The “NUMBER ONE” bit sticks out too. The song itself seems less popular, but it's catchy, and the folksy horns add a Moldovan party flair. The chorus is kinda monotonous though. The song kicks off with a “heyyyy-YA!” Then a flurry of horns (with metal drums) appears before each verse/outro. The verses have a bouncy, horn hopping rhythm that never touches the ground (+ a brief fiddle). There's a launching sound before the chorus. Then the chorus adds a rattling drum. I dislike the “la da di dum da da” ending though. It's a kitschy song, but their physical acting is so funny. I prefer this to “Hey Mamma”.

✓ Netherlands: Waylon - Outlaw in 'Em Waylon of the Common Linnets returns as a solo artist. He brings another country song, but a wild one compared to the cathartic “Calm After the Storm”. The chorus is quite annoying though. I also hate the “OW!” ending. The backing dancers/musicians are overly energetic too. It looks like they're Kung-Fu Fighting at one point? They also bang their heads together with one foot on Waylon's platform. They toss their guitars. And they run and do flips at the end. The song's message is that we all have it in us to fight back. The chorus uses specific Wild West imagery - chrome pieces, blacked out denim, scarred up knuckles, bloody boots, rattlesnake venom. Plus Stone Cold and Mick Jagger references later on. It makes me think of a saloon brawl (the “lock and load” line implies pistols). The lyrics also call whisky a miracle drink. Musically, the song is driven by a country electric guitar and a foot-stomping drum beat. There's also a zigzagging guitar riff before each verse. And the guitar “locks and loads” after that lyric. The chorus is more guitar-heavy compared to the verses. The first chorus also stops the music on the last line. And the last chorus “drops down” at first. The song sounds like it's ready to get up and fight. There's an eagerness to it. But “Outlaw in 'Em” doesn't excite me much. It's not my preferred genre. I'm not that into Waylon's voice. And the song feels like a parody? Idk.

✓ Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love Australia's first time missing the top 10. Jessica brings passion and vocals to this, but the song is basic and the stage is empty. There's some pyro in the finale, but that's it. She mostly twirls her arm, shakes her hips, and points. It's lazy staging. And it's awkward when she gets the audience to sing along. This is the third Aussie entry in a row produced by DNA Songs. Their productions are kinda generic, BUT I'm a sucker for dramatic percussion. I also like the lingering “why...”s and “I know...”s. The song starts with a humming bass-line. Then, suddenly, a thunder-striking drum awakens the arena. Now the verses follow a piano note –> rattle shake pattern (with taps). There's another thunder strike. Then the percussion-heavy chorus arrives – with euphoric keyboard, surface-echoing strikes, and tambourine shakes - and heightens midway. Verse 2 adds a clappy beat midway. There's a “tribal” drum breakdown for the bridge. And the beat pauses before the last chorus. The verse lyrics are hesitant incomplete thoughts (until the 2nd half of verse 2). Jessica asks why we keep falling into destructive mindsets: the need to be somebody else, the “won't make a difference” attitude, the fighting over material trivial things. She pleads to not give up despite feeling powerless. Why? “Cuz we got love”! That's an unoriginal message for Eurovision. Still, the percussion and vocals give a determined / persistent vibe. Also of note: Jessica was an interval act in 2014 and the runner-up of Australian Idol 2006.

× Georgia: Ethno-Jazz Band Iriao - For You The last placed entry of SF2. Unsurprising, since “For You” is EXCRUIATINGLY boring. Yeah, this classical, old fashioned music/vocal style doesn't appeal to me anyways. But the melody is so slow and forgettable. The song has no energy. And the vocals are like listening to a dishwasher or something. It's white noise. The song makes me feel nothing. That fire rain finale is so undeserved. There's no chorus either. Instead, the song intensifies and releases tension a couple times, but in a tedious way? It takes so long to get there too. “For You” starts as a serene piano ballad. Then it adds in sparse metal pan ticks, followed by a rattling sound. These instrumental quirks are too subtle though. The strings come next. Then the vocals grow until the tension snaps off. After that, the song quiets to a heartbeat thump. Then it builds again into this “tribal” drum + vocal chanting bit (which is the only listenable part). Meanwhile, the 3 singers use harmonizing tricks. The lyrical message is about putting others ahead of yourself (“you only own what you share”). The band wishes for the snow to melt to warm up a cold person. They mention finding joy in other people's happiness. And advise understanding, sharing, selflessness, kindness. I assume this is their definition of love.

× Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up This begins an NQ streak for Poland lasting until “River”. I blame Gromee's snake/wavy hands during the “drop”. It looks silly. And was that motion blur necessary? The song is basically a generic 2012 David Guetta track. But it has an uplifting vibe and I like the squawky distortion “drop”. I just wish the “LIGHT ME UP, LIGHT ME UP, MY BABY” refrain and the “OH OH OH OH” build-up weren't so generic-sounding. The chorus lyrics don't say a whole lot. But it's catchy! Lukas's voice conveys innocent anticipation as well. The first verse describes his reactions after asking someone out – he feels weak, he can't breathe, the decision haunts him. While the second verse says “they” told him to leave (security? parents? friends?) He then urges this person to “light me up” (ie. ignite his full feelings). The song captures Lukas's “in the moment” thoughts. He put himself out there, now he's waiting for a response. I don't think he's pushy, just hopeful. Musically, the first verse is easygoing, with light guitar and keyboards. The chorus is a noticeable contrast to this – it increases the tempo via excited piano EDM, followed by a beat acceleration towards the “drop”. The second verse then adds bass-y dance synths. And the second chorus starts with an acoustic guitar instead. Both verses end with feedback too. There's also pyro during the “drops”. And Lukas runs to the audience at the end to hype them with “JUMP!” and “1, 2, 3, 4”.

× Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 5th with the juries… last with the public. Maybe “Taboo” had too much going on? The song sounds mechanical. Plus, the dubstep breakdown is dated, the lyrics use weird phrasing, and the chorus hook feels incomplete. Still, the dubstep adds a darker unhinged moment. And the chorus is catchy, with the “LET OUR GUARDS DOWN” shout and the “animals animals” stutter. In the song, Christabelle declares “it's time to break the taboo” on talking about mental health. If we keep it bottled up, we'll become destructive animals or criminals. She mentions enjoying the silence, feeling cold at home, insomnia, crippling demons, finding comfort in misery, and how our struggles seem foreign to others. The production is dark and complex. It opens with a metal screech. Then a throbbing bass-line drives the verse, with vocal squeals, and a clacking heartbeat drum midway. The first chorus retreats to radiating bass, followed by snaps and a clappy build-up. But the song doesn't take off just yet. The second verse adds firm drums and cold sounds, followed by metal tick shivers. Then the clappy build-up resumes, there's a beat acceleration, a glitchy rip, and finally a skating synth peak. The deranged dubstep breakdown follows this. Then the song rests, there's a glitchy vomit, and the skating synth returns. The stage is futuristic. It involves 4 LED pillars, where Christabelle stands in the middle at first. Then during the dubstep, there's a Sia video dancer. There's also strobe lights, pyro, anatomical heart and globe animations, and a screen shatter effect.

✓ Hungary: AWS - Viszlát nyár RIP Örs. “Viszlát nyár” is the kind of song you'll either love or hate. It's not often we a see SUCH a hard rock song in Eurovision. I can appreciate that on some level. AWS comes across as a genuine rock band and Örs has good stage presence. He throws raw emotion in this performance. But I just find screamo unpleasant. I can't even get through the last minute of this. The song jumps into the heavy metal electric guitars and machine-gun drums immediately. That intro makes a bold first impression. While the verses/bridge offer a respite from the song's high-adrenaline energy. Those verses/bridge sound like an empty tunnel or cave. The first one also includes echoing snowy footsteps, as more neutral drums come in midway. The heavy metal instruments then return for the chorus, where Örs switches to screaming and the stage flames go crazy. He also tears his throat apart from the end of the 2nd chorus onward. And the bridge exits the tunnel/cave via an extremely aggressive guitar, followed by a guitar respite moment and a key change. The lyrics are about Örs's dead father. I believe the verses are from the father's perspective – he's being brutally honest, he has to leave, and he says he'll live on in his son's memory if the son wishes. While the chorus is an angry FU. The dad wasn't there, it's too late now, and Örs wants back what the dad stole. The song addresses the ugly feelings of mourning a family member you had a bad relationship with.

× Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl Belgium/Croatia/Latvia are the lounge music NQ trio of 2018. I can see how “Funny Girl” didn't grab the public's attention. The song's pacing is a little slow. But it captures the feeling of embarrassment well. Laura made her crush laugh. She caught feelings. She felt comfortable being vulnerable. But then she saw them with another girl. Now Laura is the butt of the joke. She was “just” the funny girl and meant nothing more. The first verse keeps asking “ain't it funny”, while the second wonders if they even notice her reaction, since she's kept her feelings secret; implying this song is her confession. The bridge is pure desperation, where Laura promises she's the perfect mate. I like how the chorus has this heart-sinking feeling. This is when reality hits Laura (“you're looking at her... she's looking at you...”) Most of the song is driven by these spread-out, splashing percussion clacks. The first verse has a screech midway, followed by slicing bass thumps. The pre-chorus further adds string plucks. Meanwhile, the chorus adds cello roars between the clacks, along with muffled bits. The second verse adds metal tick rolls to the clacks and bass thumps. The bridge doesn't deviate much, but adds a light cymbal. On stage, Laura performs alone in a red dress set against red lighting, with jerky camera zooms and a neck snap. Those red lights intensify a lot. Laura has great stage presence too. She feels the song through her body movements.

✓ Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off The public rejected this jury fave! I have no issues with the song– it's catchy and breezy. My issue is Benjamin's smarmy performance. He is way too eager to please. His attempts at being charming and flirtatious do not work. The head nods, the smiles, the “HUH”s... just UGH! I like the stage design though. It involves flashing red and white (and later blue) horizontal bars of light behind Benjamin, set against a pitch black background. It creates the illusion of not being in the arena (until the contraption is shown). It's as if headlights and taillights are speeding past the city street, as Benjamin dances outside the club. His choreo seems over-rehearsed though: he gyrates his hips, motions with his arm, opens his legs, twirls and walks across. He also sounds like a dick in the lyrics. The song is simply about dancing to get over someone. Benjamin doesn't care if she disapproves or still wants him (“don't you dare wait up”!) While the second verse claims she was the problem. Still, the “dan-dan-dance you off” stutter is memorable. The “pressure” and “treasure” echoes are effective, as is the “And I” continuation. And the production is professional. It has a chill nighttime vibe. The song opens with relaxed boops, then snaps. While the chorus brings in the funky bass-line, with some clasps, and it heightens midway. The second verse then waits a little to bring back the bass and clasps. And the bridge is very Daft Punk. The beat also stops before each chorus (on the “forget ya” echo).

The Melfest 2018 runner-up, Felix Sandman's “Every Single Day”, would've been a better winner. My other faves that year were “For You”, “Shuffla” and “Last Breath”. Also of note: John Lundvik makes the final one year before his eventual win, just like Benjamin and Robin B just did.

× Montenegro: Vanja Radovanović - Inje Montenegro tries a Balkan Ballad again, since that's all they ever qualified with. But unlike “Moj svijet” and “Adio”, this one is just boring and forgettable. I tried to recall the melody and “Adio” played in my head instead 💀. The instrumental is way too serious on “Inje”. It intensifies as it progresses. But it's missing the smooth ambience and epic payoff of the Željko Joksimović entries. It needs more traditional instruments too. The song opens with a piano tickle and an ominous thud. Then the first stanza sticks to the piano. The hand drums enter next. Then the strings grow, the cymbals crash and there's a back-and-forth pounding intense harmony thing on “DO-OO-SHOO-OO-BEEEE-YAAAA”. The tension breaks, the song quiets down. Then it builds back up with strings and a snare drum, leading to sawing strings and a sneering “HA-AH-AH-AH” from the backing. Then the drums push the final chorus, the church bells ring, and the song ends with a bang. It's tiring. The title translates to “Frost”, where Vanja's relationship has frozen over. His lover's heart is a “dying ember”. It's frozen in summer when it should be warm. He trembles. The quilt can't warm him up. The days drag by. He secretly wants them back. He calls the heart a “treasured pet” (sure?) On stage, Vanja and the 4 backing singers look serious, but the staging isn't that memorable either.

✓ Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! I love this quirky trap beat! The fake power failure was a really bad idea though. Especially when it happens again in the final, so you know it's fake. It's just so awkward and stops the song's momentum. But it only lasts a few seconds. “Hvala, ne!” is full of badass attitude regardless. The intro is like an accelerating ping pong ball striking a table that comes into focus; along with this strange machine noise. Then the trap beat skips along in the verses, with bass vibrations. The beat stops in the chorus, which uses a humming synth instead. Then the “Hvala, ne!” + “OH OH OH OH” “drop” returns the trap beat. While the second verse brings back the strange machine noises. The second chorus and bridge then add a beat acceleration. The power cut happens where the second “drop” is supposed to be. And the bridge is synth-ier and has a nice build-up. I believe the song is about the beauty product industry? Lea doesn't want any part of it. Her “new look” is smiles and freedom. The lyrics mention “virtual tricks”, and advise against believing offers and selling one's soul. Lea also refuses to sell-out (“true art cannot have a price tag”). But not in a pretentious way, she has fun with the song. The title translates to “No Thanks!” and Lea delivers it in a defiant way. She also asserts her name in first line. The choreo is fierce too. I like when they all lean together. And the arm thing during the intro. There's lots of flashing lights too. And Lea has good stage presence.

✓ Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder It's good, but the “OH OH OH OH OH… YEAH” hook doesn't quite do it for me. And this song relies heavily on those “OH OH OH”s. The staging is memorable though. It involves Mélovin dressed as a vampire (including eye contacts). During the opening verse, the camera shows him laying down inside a partially boarded-up coffin in red light. Then a lever slowly, creepily pushes him upright. That coffin also happens to be a grand piano, which he plays later on. At the end, the staircase goes up in flames, with more flames in the background. That image + the closing piano notes makes this the perfect semi-final closer. The lyrics are vague (“Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial”), but “Under the Ladder” is about risking failure and facing fears to reach success. The title alludes to the famous superstition. It's all about willpower. It won't get any better! It's now or never! The decision has got to be made! The chorus captures this feeling of urgency, pressure and anxiety – it's so frantic with the slapping, running drum beat. I also like the eerie chorus transition. The song opens with a faint siren and a thump. Then the first verse uses minimal ominous sounds. The energetic chorus creates a noticeable contrast to this. While the second verse, after waiting a second, adds a smaller running beat (via a buzzy transition). The second chorus finishes on a piano riff. Then the song rests. The final chorus jumps back into it. And the piano finale is like Mélovin jumping out of his seat.

My Ranking: 01. Slovenia: Lea Sirk - Hvala, ne! ✓ 02. Latvia: Laura Rizzotto - Funny Girl 03. Moldova: DoReDoS - My Lucky Day ✓ 04. Denmark: Rasmussen - Higher Ground ✓ 05. Malta: Christabelle - Taboo 06. Ukraine: Mélovin - Under the Ladder ✓ 07. Poland: Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - Light Me Up 08. Australia: Jessica Mauboy - We Got Love ✓ 09. Sweden: Benjamin Ingrosso - Dance You Off ✓ 10. Serbia: Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - Nova deca ✓