what we ate, where

Clarence jumped on me in the middle of the night last night and farted. It smelled so bad that I woke up in a state of panic—honestly thought he shit the bed. Turns out he’s just a stinky boy. . A good, handsome, sometimes stinky boy. Clarence-not-so-Fresh. Harrisburg, PA. January, 2020. . @greencatchup #whatweatewhere https://www.instagram.com/p/B7b1I0lg41D/?igshid=ixo25ixg4fpx

I promised Travis that I would pop over to take a few photos of Javier before his senior prom but fuck, I was so hungover that day. The kind of hangover where all of your insides feel like a cauldron, your head throbs, your vision is a little wonky, and any act of care to ease the self-inflicted suffering reminds you that you’re not total trash and still worthy of love and comfort. I sat on a stool in the kitchen with a head in each hand—my own, propped up on the counter and Arlo’s big, sweet Doberman head resting in my lap—while Travis softly laughed and made me juice to fix my insides. It did me a world of good and you’re one hell of a friend. Harrisburg, PA. May, 2018. . @tawatkins18famu #whatweatewhere #makeportraits (at Harrisburg, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/B68ub6yAFik/?igshid=ph26hm0rdmh0

Usually my work trips aren’t spent in fancy hotels. More often than not, they look very similar to this. . In Philly—I’m posted up on a stool, catching up with Kat as she dances around the kitchen making her morning tinctures and cooking us some kind of dope scramble for breakfast. Both of us still in sweatpants. My legs feel like jello from the shoot the day before. She has a work call in about an hour. I’m so glad we reconnected. . In DC—I get the spare room at Lisa & Christina’s. They’re watching The Bachelorette. JJ is literally weaseling his way in between me and my computer. This goofy dog is so sweet and wants to be as physically close to me as possible. I can tell how stressed Christina is when she gets home from work. I can tell how tired Lisa is—but also, I see how much happier she is in her new job. I’m just so fucking glad to be close to them. . In Asbury—Carrot & Sam’s couch. Post-shoot I’d eat half of a vegan edible and fucking melt into that old couch. “Look who’s all stoney baloney!” Sam would laugh. I’m a lightweight when it comes to weed. There aren’t enough ‘thank you’s in the world for them having me so often in their home on 6th Ave. I watched them slowly break up though. It was hard to witness. But even when both of them were hurting, they always made space for me. I love and appreciate both of you more than you’ll ever know. . In Hoboken, I haul all of my gear from the PATH to a little Irish pub to meet Jason & his roommate. I throw back a Miller Lite and Jason, a whiskey. I’m wiped from being on the train all day. He’s wiped too, traveling home from a Mexico City work trip. We’ll end up on the couch and we won’t make it through an episode of fucking anything before we both pass out. At some point, I come to and gingerly wake him up to tell him to go to bed. Shoot tomorrow. . I love this shit so much. To all my friends who have or will give me a bed, couch, or floor to sleep on—No matter what it looks like, I love spending time with you. Thank you. @katherine.p.reid @lisawalds @morty_in_dc @carrot.volz @biggest.little.big.muff @dontthinktwice24 #whatweatewhere https://www.instagram.com/p/B5Iy_xWg7JisZfjfWrvv-46jKSMX915pYjGFiM0/?igshid=ua9ybvbq15i4

You have always been filled with this radiant intensity. When you moved to New York, you challenged yourself completely—your education, previous position at F3, your newer position at DCG, the growth of your relationship with Nathan, the friendships and professional partnerships you’ve nurtured. You found place for all of that intensity and propelled yourself into your own wild future... I’m just so stoked to see you thriving. Love you, friend. . Casey at her dad’s house on Silver Lake. Lewisberry, PA. September, 2019. . @kittaquartz #makeportraits #whatweatewhere https://www.instagram.com/p/B3FwebCgFSSuPo0VLH-UduLVcAtEk4NvpQIIDs0/?igshid=1b47ug8u3xgyj

Family is wild. I haven’t seen my cousin Sarah since I was in the sixth grade. It’s been 22 years. . When I saw her this weekend, I was so struck. She is so familiar to me—the way she speaks, her gestures, her spirit. Have we known each other for consecutive lifetimes? Or maybe she is a mirror greeting known or forgotten bits of myself? I just feel really taken aback. . “Danielle, you have such a great laugh... I feel like I need to record it. And... I mean that in a good way,” she reassured. . I laughed again and dropped some line about how it was a laugh that people could do impressions of... but honestly, I had been thinking the same of her. . This trip has been amazing. . . . #whatweatewhere #danifresh #family https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzvpv6MANYG/?igshid=gonvuxysyexl

I have always loved the soft cadence of Jeff’s voice—even when everything else is too loud, you can always hear his gentle heart. . My pal, Jeff, and his darling Josephine. Sturges Speakeasy. Harrisburg, PA. May, 2017. . . . #whatweatewhere #makeportraits #pubculture #hburgmade #harrisburg @thesturgesspeakeasy https://www.instagram.com/p/BxQBCYgHr1i/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19sknicw5k1j4

I feel fiercely protective of this space and the people I love that move through it. It’s also difficult to explain to folks who aren’t familiar with it that I feel a profound sense of community and family at a bar. . This room alone holds the memory of a whole mess of experiences. Sometimes I joke around and call it our living room. But it honestly does feel like that. . On this night, I was freshly back in town and relieved to be home. I marched my happy ass up the stairs of the pub and grabbed a beer. When I looked back at Ashlie & Mo, they were smoking cigarettes, drinking their beer and laughing sweetly with their feet propped up on the other’s lap. Their gestures struck me—so much comfort and relief. This is the tenderness that I know here. The kind I don’t feel anywhere other than these bars in Harrisburg. . Ashlie & Mo upstairs at McGrath’s. I love you both so much. Harrisburg, PA. November, 2018. . . . @ashliesquid @moroccosmodernlife #whatweatewhere #harrisburg @mcgrathspub #pubculture https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGFIHmHQyJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4k9h2k7ijjkc

I’m sorry if this seems vague... I’m about to ramble a little bit. . A couple of years ago, Meg Caruso used to tell me that she was “lucky.” And I would correct her—“you’re fortunate,” I’d say, “not lucky.” . I wanted her to know that she was deserving—the life she knows is a result of her love and light. She created her experience through her own goodness. . But years and experiences and places later, here I am. And all I can say is that I’m a little hypocritical and I feel lucky as fuck. Really lucky. . I can’t believe I showed up at the pool hall tonight and Rik had made me a fucking cake. I can’t believe that I have such rich, wonderful friendships across different communities. I am so thankful. I am loved. . Yeah, I’m real mushy tonight. Y’all are fucking great. . On a different note, some buds up in Boston had to bury a friend today. His sweetness was palpable... and I’m so sorry that he couldn’t stay with us in this world any longer. Love to the buds who stood with his family today. I’m so glad he spent some time with us. Tim, I hope your soul was lifted into light and you feel relief and love. . @terencetimothy @hellomegcaruso @rikkielynn @gibersontravis @shannon_tooker @sternandyok @mstevenoneill @firstnamemclane @kaitiogrady @mitziheisey_hairsmith @orangeyougladimkate @kjzimmer00 @torre_bloom @4warko @chris_regan https://www.instagram.com/p/BtkeUmPnZOU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=whm012j2ecq1

So many times when I go to write something about a friend, I wonder if I’ll ever do them or the moment justice. I’ve tried to write this caption maybe a dozen times and I wanted to post it months ago but whenever I’d pull the photo and try to write, I’d just start crying. That happens more often than I should probably admit. . I remember the magic and history in their home and feeling so welcome there. I remember seeing San Francisco in the way that only Ruben could show it to me... maybe part of the reason we are friends is because we have the same softness for places we know. I, of course, remember the museum, the city hike, the neighborhood haunt, the dinner party and their friends. But best of all, I got the juiciest bit... watching them do the dishes and dance in the kitchen after every one else had left. I already loved Ruben but I fell in love with their love that night—the wild tenderness of it all. . The dishes are done. Ruben & Erica dancing in their kitchen. San Francisco, CA. May, 2018. . . . Love you & miss you, friend. Thanks for all of this. @rubenmonkey #whatweatewhere #sanfrancisco https://www.instagram.com/p/BrlmZ2UHq1e/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fe6m3eh6fi8k

Jill loves to cook. And she's damn good at it. On mornings when I was crashing with her in Asbury, I'd stand right there in the living room and talk to her while she cooked breakfast for both of us in that tiny red kitchen. . In June, I moved in to Jill's living room. I've been joking with people saying, "I live in my friend's living room at beach. So, this is my 30's..." but honestly, it's fleeting moments in a passing summer and I am the happiest to be there with her. This repeating scene is a source gratitude... and I'm learning more about what to buy and how to open the fridge, take inventory, and make something dope. . I know I'm really going to miss her come October... but for now, I'm just stoked for summer and stoked that I'm eating all the delicious things. . Red kitchen and Jill Audra of my heart. She was making steak & eggs that day. Lots of Israeli Za'atar spice... it's her favorite. Asbury Park, NJ. September, 2017. . @jillaudra #asburypark #whatweatewhere #makeportraits #womenathome #heimat

For the longest time I felt like I was pulling teeth to get you to come to Asbury with me... and then it happened in early July. I looked over at you and Lee on Carrot and Sam’s porch. You guffawed. So did Lee. It was typical banter but it felt sweeter here, in this place. It was all I wanted. Literally, all I wanted... you are so important to me and I am desperate to have you feel as much love in Asbury Park as you do in Harrisburg. I hope it happened. And if it didn’t, I just hope you discover it in the future. . Oh, and it’s your birthday. I hope you have a really beautiful trip around the sun. I’m so glad you’re my friend. I’m so glad you’re my Lifewife™️. I hope you know how much I love the shit out of you all the damn time. . @orangeyougladimkate @big_e_hair #asburypark #lifewife

You are always a beacon of laughter and wit—that is for sure and you know it. I noticed something in the last couple of months though. I mean, we all have little quips and phrases that are unique to each of us but one thing has changed... It used to be when I told you that I loved you, your response was always, “I love me too.” You were so silly... but recently when I tell you that I love you, you respond, “I love you too.” And I think maybe the only thing that’s changed is that you really know I mean it now and I am glad. . My friend, Drew, in a space that we occupy often—also occasionally referred to as our living room. The upstairs of McGrath’s Pub. Harrisburg, PA. February, 2017. @drew_murren #Harrisburg #cherishburg #hburgmade #mcgrathspub #makeportraits

We fell asleep the night before watching Indiana Jones fight nazis on an old VHS... I woke up on the couch to the smell of bacon and curry powder. When I walked downstairs to the kitchen, there was Carrot, standing over a skillet of breakfast hash in a long sleeve hardcore t-shirt and a silky purple robe... the juxtaposition of those two clothing items... so silly. Sam was sipping a Miller Lite and flipping bacon in a pan saying something like, “I don’t usually make it that way, I usually—ah, you know what? I trust you, babe... I know it’ll be good.” He’s so sweet on her. . I love them together and individually. I love that they love me and I will always have a second home with them. I love their love and I am thankful. Asbury Park, NJ. November, 2017. @carrot.volz #whatweatewhere #makeportraits #secondhome #asburypark

These dark, smokey bars feel like home... the spot I took this photos is probably—hopefully—eternally scuffed from my shoes. It is where my heart feels the lightest and one of three posts in this city where I have danced the most. . I took this photo months ago. . Last night, Kate and I returned home after a weekend away and this is the exact same scene I saw... Kate up against the mirrors and Erin next to her... Kevin and Heisey across from them as we all banter. . They are poking fun at me because I hate scary movies—well, all except for Erin. We’re in the same boat. Hard pass on the horror flicks. I just don’t enjoy the state of being terrified for fun. It all seems like a paradox, you know? But hey, they love that shit. Good on ‘em. . Anyway, I’m just rambling. Maybe ghosts are just our energies imprinted over time and that is why these places are our “haunts.” Erin & Kate at Zembies. Harrisburg, PA. April & December, 2017. . @hotjets #harrisburg #haunts #hburgmade #divebars #zembies #makeportraits

When I opened up my eyes in the new year, I was snuggled up on the short end of the L shaped couch in Andrew, Vince, and David’s Brooklyn apartment... nestled in a sleeping bag and pillows I commandeered from Vince’s room, a space heater at my feet, Matthew still softly snoring sprawled on the long end of the couch. The whole house woke slowly, softly. And Andrew shuffled around the kitchen making us breakfast before the drive back to Harrisburg. . We probably did 4 goofy countdowns the night before at June Bar. We danced and sang and there was a smoke machine, a disco ball, and affection. I made it in to the new year with a full heart. I hope you did too. Happy 2018, friends. I love you. . Andrew making black beans and eggs. New Years Day breakfast. Brooklyn, NY. January, 2018. @kojisaysaloha #newyearsday #2018 #whatweatewhere #brooklyn

Over a decade ago I remember reading a Diane diPrima book called "Dinners and Nightmares." It was a collection of a lot of things... but the first part of it, "what I ate, where" felt really familiar. It was about the meals she ate and the people she ate them with in all the different pads. . With a similar idea, I've been toying with the idea of putting together a collection of images called "what we ate, where." Not strictly just meals and places, but just sweet moments when people are together. I have so many personal images in friends homes where we share food, on porches we gather on, in dark bars where we hang out, etc... and I really just want a place for all of those photos to live. . This is one of the first images I thought of and it's timely. It's from Christmas Day last year. Shannon was enthralled to have her brother Austin, sister Meredith, her friend Jess, and a couple other close crew/roomates at her home. It was a most relaxing holiday. . After dinner, I descended the stairs and saw this... Meredith fast asleep on the couch and Shannon having a good snuggle with Radar. I could feel all the warmth and love in the room... in the whole house. . I hope that some of these images will remind you of moments when you feel profound warmth and love too. . Meredith, Shannon, and Radar (who is a very good boy). Christmas Day at the house on Green Street. Harrisburg, PA. December, 2017. #whatweatewhere #dianediprima #hburgmade