Okay, listen guys. I get what you’re all saying with insisting that Bruce shouldn’t be written as an abusive parent. I get that you don’t want him to be abusive. I don’t want him to be either. But I keep seeing people argue that he can’t be abusive because he’s such an empathetic person. And I don’t necessarily disagree that he’s empathetic! But please understand that empathy and abuse are not mutually exclusive. A person can be perfectly capable of being kind sometimes and being abusive other times, and the kindness can even be completely genuine. A lot of people with abusive parents also have good memories with their parents. An abusive parent is rarely some sort of completely evil person. Most abusive parents do love their children to some extent. They might believe that what they’re doing is for the child’s benefit, or might not even realize that they are being abusive. Anyone can be abusive. And the idea that abusive parents only have the most horrible motivations for their actions tends to indirectly hurt the children of abusive parents, because their experiences get dismissed or ignored on the basis that “this person can’t be abusive, they’re so nice!” Bruce is perfectly capable of believing in redemption for the villains he faces, of treating victims with kindness and understanding, of fighting for Gotham citizens getting help and support to avoid a criminal lifestyle, and hurting his children. Please understand that “this person shows empathy” is not an argument against the possibility of abuse.
For having a malignant narcissist as a mother, I can second the point about empathy and abuse not being mutually exclusive. They do manipulate in order to psychologically torture their victim, but one can't manipulate without empathy. Empathy means you understand the feelings. Not that you feel it with the others. The thing with an abusive parent is that, when using their empathy in their relationship with their kid, they use it in a distorted, vicious way. They don't lack empathy. They just use it wrong.
Also, manipulative persons can show a hell of a nice face to the external world. That's part of their strategy, actually, which in return will lead to that questioning of 'did I imagine them being cruel?' (Yes gaslighting at its finest). In some cases (not all cases), people outside the relationship just can't imagine the fact someone is or will be abusive (to the point where the previous victimiof the abuser will not imagine said abuser could have that same behavior with their kid)
As OP, I'm not saying either that Bruce shouldn't be written as an abusive parent : I firmly believe that literature, including comics, can serve as a catharsis.
Something being triggering is an issue, of course. I've stopped reading most batman comics that are published at the moment for that very reason. But as a person on my way to heal, I do appreciate one part of it nonetheless : it helped me figure more things about my trauma.
But as OP said indeed, don't mix up abuse with lack of empathy. You'd be very wrong, and it'd be negating all of what the victims had to endure.
