Control Me

Cam Damage by johnraphel

“Are you guys fucking in there?”

Shit.  The stall was locked, and the hotel bathroom was far from anything, but someone found us anyway.  How do you answer that question? Just an honest yes? Say nothing at all? Ask for a towel?

“Um, yeah,” my friend replied in a quiet voice. I held her there against the wall, my cock still inside her and her legs wrapped around my body.  The pause was too long to be comfortable.

“Can I come in?” 

It was almost a whisper, and there was enough breath in it that I reached over and unlatched the door without thinking. We stared as she entered the stall, watching her lean against the black tile. She looked us up and down and her eyes were wide with excitement. When she lifted her skirt and slipped two fingers beneath the thin fabric covering her cunt I started  to move again. My partner bit my neck, but I could tell what she was watching.

“Fuck her harder,” came the quiet moan from behind me. 

My nails pressed into her ass when I pulled her to me, and she wrapped her arms around me. I lifted her up and dropped her back down onto my cock without pause, and I could hear soft moans from behind us. She whispered her direction over and over again, and I obeyed with more enthusiasm than skill. 

Her moans grew louder as my thrusts grew quicker, and I could feel my body losing control. I wanted to turn and look, and I wanted to kneel at her perfect feet. I wanted to come and I wanted to watch. I wanted everything all at once.

“I’m coming,” slipped from two mouths at the same time, and the air in the room was sucked out in seconds. I struggled to stand as we fucked, but when I finally opened my eyes minutes later we were alone again. The door was closed but unlocked, and my date was limp in my arms.

“I couldn’t take my eyes off her cunt.”

“I couldn’t take my ears off her moans.”

“I wanted to keep her.”

I lifted her up and stood her in front of me as we adjusted our clothes and hair. I opened my mouth to say something smart, but closed it before I let out a sound. We walked out into the dark bathroom and washed our hands in silence.

It took me minutes to see the lipstick writing on the mirror.  It was almost too delicate to be real, but there were ten numbers in a row followed by two words: thank you.

“I want to fuck you,” is high on my list of favorite phrases. It’s right up there next to “I’m going to fuck you,” although I use them in very different ways.

The first is something I put off as long as I can just to savor the flavor of the words in my mouth, and it works best when we have never so much as kissed. It lingers in the back of my throat as we talk and drink or dance so closely that you already know. I open my mouth a hundred times, but always hold back, not out of fear or doubt, but simply because the waiting is so delicious. My lips against your ear, my fingers through your hair, and my hands on your hips as we stand in the same space all speak it before I do.

And then I pull back, letting the temperature drop for just a moment because it’s a phrase that needs space. It needs a hint of distance before it can be closed in an instance, my mouth against your neck, as the words come out as if on their own. Unruly and wanting.

“I want to fuck you,” I finally whisper, and then we’re out on the street, frantic for any hint of privacy so we might accomplish our task.

With the other, it’s nearly the reverse. The statement comes first and the waiting comes after. When we met in the park on a Sunday, they were the first words whispered in your ear as we embraced.

“I’m going to fuck you,” I said, before stepping back with a smile.

I could feel your knees tremble for just a moment, and in an instant, our afternoon became something else. Our walk through the rose garden and our break for a drink at the Boathouse were laden with expectation. I whispered it over and over again until it was no longer a plan but an inevitability.

By the time we found an arch, so quiet and dark right at dusk, we couldn’t wait a moment longer. Your legs around me, my hands grabbing your hips and ass as I thrust into you, and our wordless fuck beneath the stone bridge were the rewards for our hours of anticipation.

Either way, we wait, and either way, I feel the weight of the words in my chest and my gut. I try them silently to myself, I hold them in my mouth, rolling them over on my tongue, and then, when there is simply no other choice, I let them go.

I want to fuck you.

I am going to fuck you.

-gny

(If you’re curious about longer reads, you can find most of my 35 books at all the big retailers over on Pronoun.)

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task? 

Wisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them. 

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why? 

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?