Taking a break...not sure how long I'll be, but I'll see everyone if/when I get back....✌️

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if i look back, i am lost

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@westtxdaddy
Taking a break...not sure how long I'll be, but I'll see everyone if/when I get back....✌️

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Everyone around me has found their person, or in some cases, their persons. I just want to not be alone anymore.... I'm just tired of going to bed alone and waking up several times at night, wishing I had someone next to me....it's getting really old and taking it's toll...not sure how much longer I can deal with it 🥺
I'm sorry 🥺
Been trying to avoid this place, been doing pretty good at it up until a day or so ago. Got some news from a friend and it put my right back down at the bottom of the spiral again. It's really astonishing how many times I've tried to get better.... Only to fail... All I know is how to be alone. Everything I do is wrong and upsets/pushes people away or I ghost. I was really hoping this time it would be different, finally be able to be alone in peace, then I get a text from a friend I haven't talked to in a few years. They are engaged, and while I'm happy for them, it makes me realize just how much of a loser I really am. Everyone of my friends/family have someone, a family, or at least their own place. I'm nearly 40 and don't have anything to call my own... How did I fuck up my life this bad??? I always thought it would turn around for me. Tried taking a leap of faith several times, but nothing ever works in my favor. Now I lay here in bed, in the pitch black, with only my thoughts to keep me company. Creating unobtainable scenarios, time after time, in my head. Why am I like this?
There's nobody I can talk to about about all the things going on in my head, not that I'd want to put that kinda burden onto them anyways.
Now I'm typing out all of this, for strangers to see, read and ignore.... Hoping somehow it turns things around, knowing damn well things will only get worse. Honestly I have no clue what to do anymore......
I'm not looking for pity or sympathy, even tho I'm sure I'll get messages saying that's exactly what I'm doing.....just keep it to yourself, it's not going to help me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If you still think of her, call her. She'll answer. If you deleted her number message her.
Wouldn't do any good ...I've screwed things up too bad. I'm better off alone
By any chance are you single?
Not by choice, but it doesn't matter, nobody would be interested in me after a few days....
All I do is end up hurting people I care about. I can't keep doing this, being alone is one thing, but trying to make everyone else feel the same way is pathetic...I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know something has to change. If that means me deleting everything and just staying to myself, then that's what I'll have to do....I'm truly lost and have no idea where I'm headed...
If we've ever talked on here, thanks for all the conversation and the memories. I will always appreciate them and never forget about you, I just can't be around people, in person or online at this moment in time
Thanks, and bye for now

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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RIP OZZY .... you will be dearly missed and always remembered 🤘😎🤘 will be cranking up the volume anytime one of your songs play....
Fuck this place ✌️ im out

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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😈😈😈
Fuck this day