spot of insanity

Page two! For this page I’m just gonna tell y’all a bit more about my kinks and interests as a whole. 

(Note: I’ll have chapter descriptions posted on my masterlist page in case anyone is looking for specific information) 

To put things in the most basic terms, I’m a submissive and a little. Yes, those can be two different things. 

To start, the definition of submissive is “ready to conform to the authority or will of others: meekly obedient or passive.”

For me, it means that I choose to hand over control to another person (in this case Bubs) and in doing so give him the power to make decisions for me. For me, submitting is a major comfort tool, I have a lot of stress and anxiety in my everyday life and by being able to hand over the control to someone whom I trust fully and completely gives me a sense of relief. 

So submissive falls under the general category of BDSM, which stands for Bondage Discipline Sadism and Mascochism. Bondage being fairly self explanatory, Discipline referring to the power exchange in which the Dom is given the consent to punish and reward behaviors of the Sub, Sadism being “the tendency to derive pleasure (especially sexual gratification) from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others”, and Masochism being “the derivation of sexual gratification from being subjected to physical pain or humiliation”. 

There are a lot of stigmas and stereotypes surrounding BDSM, mostly with negative connotation. Many people associate BDSM with abuse or manipulation, when in fact it’s almost the opposite. When entering into a BDSM relationship, two consenting ADULTS agree to the power exchange between Dom and Sub (or other form of exchange). 

As I said before, submitting is a way to find relief and peace for me. When I let Bubs have complete (or almost total) control over what I wear, what I do, where I go, etc, it helps me to feel better and it helps him to be trusted and to take care of me in pretty much all ways. 

Now for the more difficult of the two, being a little. This falls under the category of BDSM called DDLG, which does stand for Daddy Dom, Little Girl. It sounds kinda creepy and gross, but really it’s just another form of submission. 

I do use being little (we call it “switching”) as a coping mechanism. However like my submissive persona, I have a very mild “little side”. 

Basically, I just give power to Bubs, however instead of having general rules, sexual experiences, and complete power exchange as we do when I choose to submit, I assume the persona of basically a child, sorry, there really isn’t a way to write it out without sounding creepy. 

First of all, there is absolutely zero sexual associate with this, for us at least. It’s simply a comfortable mind frame and coping mechanism for life. I am still 100% myself, I wear my own clothes, regular panties, I eat food like normal and act pretty much the exact same. However the difference is that I choose to use a more immature vocabulary, as well as have different interests such as Disney movies and cartoons, coloring, and eating Dino Nuggies. That’s about all there is to it. Though I do have a tendency to be much clingier when switched, though my Bubs has no problem with it as he loves cuddles as much as the next guy. 

Okay see? It’s not that bad, the negative stereotypes surrounding the “kinky” community is pretty much completely incorrect. I will say that there are some people who unfortunately choose to use the excuses of BDSM and DDLG to inflict actual harm on others, and it is these people that make it so much harder for those with my same or similar interests to express ourselves in the ways that we feel most natural and comfortable. 

I hope this page was helpful to anyone wondering what these mean, feel free to leave a comment or message me with any questions! Once again please keep anything you wish to say positive and kind! 

Hey Loves! 

Chapter One is pretty much just going to be an introduction chapter, I’ll have a page about me, about my bubs, about our relationship together, etc. 

So let’s get to it! 

First of all, I’m going to be changing my name along with the names of those I talk about, just to add a bit of privacy since I’m going to be posting some sensitive and personal information. I welcome any comments, questions, and messages though I do ask that we keep things nice, please don’t be mean, I don’t need any negative opinions or comments on my lifestyle, if I wanted to hear it I would’ve asked, but I didn’t. 

So, I’m Angel, that’s just how we’re gonna keep me. I’m 18, a senior, and my life is an absolute shit show. 

I’m from the south, and the way I was raised is pretty much the polar opposite of how I live my life now. I was raised in the Bible Belt, so of course all of those nasty “Gays go to hell”, “No sex before marriage”, “Go to Church, pray, etc” were drilled into my mind from birth. But here I am at 18 years old, a bisexual submissive with ddlg tendencies and a very active sex life, I also resent 97% of Christian beliefs and lifestyles. 

So needless to say, I’ve strayed about as far from the path that my family wanted me to follow as possible. But I’m happy, mostly, and to me that’s all that matters. 

I think that’s a pretty good start for Chapter 1, the next page will be a bit about my kinks and interests, and then on Page 3 I’ll introduce y’all to Bubs, Page 4 will have a focus on mental illness struggles for myself and (maybe) Bubs, and Page 5 will just brush over our relationship as a whole. 

I’ve never done a blog before, so y’all are gonna have to bear with me. I’ve had a tumblr for years but decided to revamp the account and turn it into a little blog. Most of my posts will focus on my different habits and routines in my relationships. I’ll be posting in chapter formats, each chapter being different subjects, and every chapter and “page” will be linked in my Masterlist at the top of my account. I’ll also just be posting random life shit, it’ll just depend on my mood. 

I’m going to try and have regular updating times/days but for now it’ll likely be random as I still have a few months of school left and I work two jobs. I’m still deciding on how I want to lay out each post, so that might change too.

I think that’s all for this post, I’m working on Chapter 1 today and will hopefully have all of the pages done and posted by the end of the week.