words I couldn't say

lmao I hate it here I want to Die

HAHA. 2016... what a weird year. Looking back, it wasn’t bad but I shouldn’t have been in a relationship. I need to make a pact with myself not to date anyone seriously. I just need to... be by myself and do my own thing--to keep it casual just like I’ve been doing. Lately, I’ve been alright. 

I am way better off being single for now. Relationships are not on my radar as of now. I want to have fun and be with multiple people. I look forward to Winter  quarter 2016. I will art and have fun learning about spatial stuff and film and all of the things I love. I’m ready to let 2015 go even though it was a pretty solid year for me minus the last couple months.

Working in retail is a blessing and a curse. I hate dealing with asshole customers, but my coworkers are cool.

HAHA FUCK YOU.

I hate people who are so annoying about liking people but not being able to be friends with them if they don't like them in a romantic way back. Like get over it dude. Not everyone you like is going to like you back and that's just the way life is. LIKE FUCK.

I miss you so much and you've only been gone for 10 hours. I was afraid I'd get tired of you. I was wrong, and I can only hope the days go by faster so I can see your sweet face again.

I'm so annoyed. :-( HA. I got a job and you seemed happy for me, but it interferes with you coming and I'm sorry. I don't make the rules here. Either come and see me or don't. It's that simple.

Sometimes I really can't tell if I'm even meant to be with anyone. I'm too much to handle. I have a temper with a patience that wears a little too thin at times. I just don't want to waste my time. I can't waste time. Time is so precious to me, but it is the one thing--a mere social construct that can ruin everything. I can't afford to live in ruins.

I miss you so much

I feel like my life is one big fire that can't be controlled. I'm slowly being consumed by each flame and I'm going down.

Am I just unfit to be with someone? I'm sorry that I'm not very affectionate, it's just the way I am. I'm only affectionate when I feel comfortable. I'm not going to force it because that wouldn't be right. I'm not going to give you some faux-love. It isn't genuine, and it isn't me.