We are Growing Young

I am cursed. I am under a spell of always wanting the best out of everyone and everything. Under the curse of secretly idealize and dream about things actually happening: That the world will stop delivering news that you don want to hear while you drink your coffee in the morning. That one day we will stop fighting for peace. That one day I will leave this dead town and begin somewhere else. That one day that thing people call fullfillment will come. That one day my heart will explote for other reasons. That one day you will see me with the same eyes I once saw you with. That one day my bed will only be for sleeping and no to avoid an inexistent routine. I am cursed. I know I am because I am certain that someday all of this will happen but deep down I also know they won’t. How is that even posible? Its like feeling that you are living when you are actually not. It’s like wanting to leave by wanting to stay. Its like saying yes to later say NO. Its like moving one step forward and then four hundred steps backward. It’s like us, something that never was but always will be. Its to add one more thing to my box of paradoxes.

One time I read something along the lines of:

“There is people that still thinks that pretty things can’t come out of scars”

Let me tell you: they can. pretty things come can come out of scars. they come with a ravishing force waking you up at the middle of the night. they come in the form of obsessive thoughts. of anxiety attacks. and tears.

For me, all of this is beautiful. I have scars because of all of that. Or I have all of that because of my scars, I don’t really know.

some people think that you can choose not to be like this. but let me tell you again: you can’t. thats why they are called scars. scars fade, but never go away. for some you are a walking complication. to others you are chaos. sometimes you cry black, sometimes you cry pink. but don’t you get it? pretty things can come out of scars.

Maybe I am a walking complication. maybe I am chaos. Or maybe you are. Maybe this is me trying to convince myself that pretty things can come out of scars.

Morning Light by Monica Cazares Salomon Via Flickr:

I Grow Flowers Series by Monica Cazares Salomon Via Flickr: 

I die too (I grow flowers series) by Monica Cazares Salomon Via Flickr:  BLOG POST