i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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art blog(derogatory)
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NASA
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Today's Document

tannertan36
Xuebing Du
sheepfilms

Product Placement

if i look back, i am lost
we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell
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@waytootiredstudent
i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently
matched set

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"Whats your favorite bird?" "Oh, chickens" "Those aren't birds haha" ??????????????????????????????????????
Wood chopping competition in Austrailia
Tree-felling is my favourite of all the woodchopping events. Every year I go to the local Show (like a state fair i guess?) and they have woodchopping and sawing competitions. (look i'm bi i appreciate the ladies sawing competition XD) but there is NOTHING like watching tree felling. and the competition at the Show is handicapped - so you have a delay based on how well you did in the trials. usually this is around 2-30 seconds and the commentator will say each number and people will start when their is called. (In this video it seems like everyone starts at once) I remember there was an older guy one year. I don't know how old - but he was weathered and grey haired and seemed like he had at least a couple decades on all the other competitors. (also might have been another competitors dad? this happens a lot) his handicap? over 80 seconds. You see how FAST these people are moving in the video? Most of this guys competitors were already working on their second ladder (past 50% of the way through the race) before he started. he came second. and only by like 3-4 chops. no movement was wasted, every ax-strike was precise, he was steady on his feet and the crowd was SCREAMING for it. anyway, i love this sport so much. def on the list of things to do with friends if you visit at the right time of year to see it
nourishes it
keeps it warm
fills it with love
fills it with rice
refills sanity bar
grants it a blessing

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The Most Tumblr Punchline
I've noted before that my favorite punchline on Tumblr is "hang on, gotta look something up/okay that's funny."
Let me explain why:
It is a way to say "I don't get it" without blaming the joke or the teller.
It is a tacit admission of ignorance without shame or judgement.
It assumes responsibility for acquiring the knowledge the respondent doesn't already have.
It cues other people who Don't Get It to do the look-up themselves, allowing them to get that full impact of Getting It without derailing the post with explanations.
It gives subsequent readers, whether or not THEY got the joke, a little frisson of good feelings when they realize that someone else is now In On The Joke.
It not only makes the original joke funnier, it gets funnier the more often it's used.
This, and You Are One Of Today's Lucky 10,000 are very much things I love about Tumblr culture, yes!
Sometimes I just look at this photo of when people had to enjoy the local canal (not optional).
Source
teetotailer
first incidence of good writing advice i've seen in 10+ years on this platform and it's in the notes of a mustelid wreaking absolute havoc in a german grocery store
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
"Ja, das bin ich. Sie fragen sich wahrscheinlich, wie ich hierher gekommen bin".
this is the thing I was talking about where people are playing with their cats the way that cats play with eachother lmao
HE KILLED HIM
Amazing photograph taken in the fraction of a second where the target doesn’t even know he’s being tackled yet. Idiot.

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asking for praise for a thing you made feels so humiliating like oooh look at me I’m a little animal and I did a trick and made a thing can I have pets and treats about it. and then somebody tells you it’s good and you understand why golden retrievers are the way they are
Alexey Kondakov
Surrealistic Documentary Photography
The Artists page :) He has a store page on his website as well, including a cv for the case you’re not sure wether these are AI
Really cool stuff
Also his Instagram below
151K Followers, 1,115 Following, 391 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Alexey Kondakov (@alksko)
Okay kids buckle up for the INSANE story I just heard from my little brother
**As a disclaimer my brother is a cis straight dude who only dates the most basic white girls you can find. He's very emotionally aware but doesn't linger on his emotions, just processes them and moves on (this is wild to me)**
He calls me on my break just to say hi, that he’s driving back to Denver from visiting his girlfriend, to which I respond “didn’t you break up with your girlfriend (of like a month) last month” and to which he says “yeah I have a new girlfriend, we’ve been together four weeks but I went up to spend the weekend and meet her friends” and I’m like ok great this is already ridiculous
So we’re chatting and I’m teasing him about how he doesn’t sleep with people on first dates and he says that he’s changed his policy, it’s just that he won’t have sex with them if he’d rather be doing something else, so I joke that I’ve had that where I’d rather be watching the show Chernobyl (true) and he says “yeah or watching a movie with my housemate” and I say hey bud that’s kind of gay and he says yeah I actually had a weird gay moment last night
And I go oh???? And he goes yeah, I was at the bar with the girlfriend and some of her friends and one of them was a guy and we were hitting it off, doing a little flirting as you do with your bros at the bar~
And then my cis straight brother goes on to explain that sometimes when you’re out with the homies and you’re having a good time and the vibes are right you just give em a little kiss, like just a kiss on the mouth between bros, “no tongue or anything like that but just to express that you’re close and having a good time”
I’m like “My dude that’s not a thing” and he’s like “between confident straight men it is” and I’m like “NO IT’S NOT"
So there we’ve got my brother having casual queerplatonic relationships with his homies at the bar, and he’s telling me this and I’m obviously speechless, so he goes on and he’s like “so because this guy and I were hitting it off I go in for a little kiss and he fucking swerves me” and I’m like yes my guy but because my brother is actually very good with respecting boundaries he was like “ok man great communication, won’t do it again"
BUT
Apparently my brother and the dude and my brother's GIRLFRIEND who has been there the WHOLE TIME go outside (I assume to have a cigarette but he didn’t tell me that part) and the guy turns to my brother and is like “man I should have kissed you when you offered it” and my brother is like “cool good shit man” like in the most bro way possible and then the guy grabs his face between his hands and just PLANTS a big one on his mouth
And THEN the guy panics and shoves him down on the ground!! And my brother has the normal reaction to being shoved on the ground unexpectedly which is to say “what the FUCK” and the girlfriend says “what the FUCK” and the guy goes “what the FUCK” and leaves
And my brother ended the story there and was musing on it like "this guy obviously has some complexes to work through about his sexuality, no confident straight man kisses another confident straight man and then panics and runs away”
Which took me out at the KNEES lol
And that, dear readers, is the batshit story my brother told me!
OH MY GOD AND
AND
I told my coworker this and they were like I’m actually shipping him and his roommate and I was like HUH because I hadn't considered that and then later my brother sent me a photo of his housemate wearing sexy handcuffs
i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now
give me a nice thought
Hammer Head Sharks get startled by the bubbles most scuba gear make. So they made new gear so they could interact with the sharks.
superlative thought! keep going
Vultures hold their wings open in the sunlight to warm themselves. They’ll just strike this wings-open power pose in the morning in lieu of a cup of coffee. This may also serve a double function of baking away harmful bacteria from all their hard work rummaging corpses and keeping disease levels down amongst other animal populations.
Found here: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gitart/5357575400/
They eat corpses and wake up majestic and I think that’s just amazingly powerful of them.
“t-poses for power after rummaging through corpses” sounds like a 2018 tumblr post
#DON’T TALK TO ME TILL I’VE HAD MY SOLAR POWER

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Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence
Northern Cardinal, 4/10
I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.
American Robin, 1/10
Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.
House Sparrow, 10/10
You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?
Tufted Titmouse, 1/10
A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.
European Starling, 9/10
Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.
Carolina Wren, 3/10
This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.
Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10
If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.
Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10
It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.
American Crow, unrated
For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.
Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10
Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.
Stay tuned for more criminal activity!
(continued)
Common Grackle, 7/10
La Famiglia does not suffer you to stop in our neighborhood long, and I trust their judgement in this manner. You have the look of a guilty bird.
Tennessee Warbler, 2/10
You keep to yourselves, and I respect that. I get the sense that you could defend yourselves if it came to it, though.
Brown-Headed Cowbird, 3/10
You're not a crow, and eventually they ARE going to figure it out, kiddo.
Gray Catbird, 5/10
Would you. Respectfully. Would you shut the FUCK UP.
Eurasian Collared-Dove, 0/10
You're doing great, sweetie, everyone loves you.
Red-Breasted Nuthatch, 4/10
A comedian. A little jester of a bird. You're so silly. Sure sometimes you incite violence in others but, really, is that your fault? If it is, we forgive you.
Blue Jay, 12/10
If you could learn any human behavior you wanted, it would be how to build a bomb.
Honorable mention:
Turkey Vulture, 5/10
You weren't in my backyard, but you WERE eating roadkill in the street in my neighborhood. I know the animal was already dead when you got there, but you get violence points for frightening the small children that walked past you. Incredible work.
I immediately scrolled to the blue jay to decide whether or not I wanted to read the rest of the post. Once I realized that OP got that right, I went back and read the rest. 10/10 OP.
I read this to my dad who sits on his porch and watches the birds and his only note is that he has seen multiple male cardinals attempt to fight their reflections to the death and should have a higher rating.
7 cats from Musée d'Orsay + 1 from Musée de l'Orangerie
Olympia (1863) by Édouard Manet Woman with a cat (1912) by Pierre Bonnard The white cat (1894) by Pierre Bonnard The Painter's Studio (1855) by Gustave Courbet Oscar (2023) by Nathanaëlle Herbelin Emmanuelle et Efi (2024) by Nathanaëlle Herbelin Chat noir (2020) by Nathanaëlle Herbelin Portrait of Madame M. (1896) by Henri Rousseau