they pay me in WOIMS

I'm beatles maxxing

Sitting in a locked hot car by myself

They famously said it's okay to leave your dog in a hot car

also I just read a LinkedIn post that suggested that young men shouldn't be hired for important business roles because studies show 26% are addicted to some form of betting/gambling site---therefore, giving them access to material that will determine stock prices is an insider trading hazard for any business. I'm not saying it's a good argument, and I wouldn't be too surprised if the author was doing something tongue-in-cheek ala Modest Proposal.....but I would be fascinated to see where "actually, young men are too emotional and prone to spending money frivolously, let's hire that female candidate instead" would take us as a society.

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: warThymeSinger reading: had a similar scenario where my alarm woke me up at the crack of dawn, and then i "remembered" ththe government, had just made early mornings illegal because theyre inhumane, so went back to sleep and missed my morning class /End ID]

doxxing myself. I’m on a boat in the middle of the big blue sea near some islands and dolphins and other random nonsense

My longhouse is perfectly constructed. Every morning when I wake up in bed at the far end of my longhouse, I say my syllable. Then I spend all day sitting in bed. By sunset my syllable has traveled to the other end of my longhouse and back, and as it smacks me in the head, I fall asleep. My longhouse is perfectly constructed.

horses are terrible. they’re buff and smoove and i hate looking at and seeing them

they’re like big hard dogs with no soul and awful homunculus teeth. miss me with that shit

yesterday someone told me horses “have friendly faces” and that’s the least human opinion ive ever heard

horses look like if a race of men were twisted into animals for profaning a dark and nameless god in a time before time

I’m crying

Yup returning to necromancy, I’m so back. And you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

it does still make me insane specifically how many queer people lovingly embrace astrology. I went to a poetry workshop yesterday that was genuinely quite good but also included an option to disclose astrology designations during introductions and so many people broke out some variation of "I'm a [x] sum but I have a [y] placement and it SHOWS" girl no it doesn't. that's meaningless correlation you completely invented the causation

I'd say that rejecting biological determinism in favor of space gas determinism isn't the slay the astrology queers think it is but if I'm being completely honest I fear that many members of our community haven't even really rejected biological determinism so much as sprinkled a layer of glitter on it

yes that's how confirmation bias works

OP what wizard did you cut off in traffic to get cursed like this