∞

When I eventually left the building, I walked home as quickly as I could. I was so scared. With every step I had to concentrate.

When I saw my front door I could feel by heart beating faster. I fumbled for the keys, opened the door and my body, which was already full to capacity, seemed to overflow and wouldn’t stop overflowing for a considerable amount of time.

I frantically looked around my kitchen, not knowing what to do with myself, not knowing what to do with my body, not knowing what to do with my mind which wouldn’t shut up. I knew the only place I felt safe was my bedroom. I felt as if I was in a terrible danger.

I didn’t leave my bedroom for one hour.

I sat on my bedroom, rocking back and forth, cradling my knees and asking myself, “what is happening?”. My limbs felt alien to me and when I looked in the mirror, I had no idea who was staring back at me. I was scared at the person I was looking at. My anxiety had taken over and I didn’t know who I was in that brief moment of time.