▋ THE HELM.

she never really... got to have a childhood? she was killed when she was 10, and her own adoptive parents were in on it and i mean it just really, really messed her up. she has trust issues and i don’t think she’s ever been in any sort of relationship but if she has been it likely didn’t end will because she can’t trust people. it affects friendships too, and she wishes it wasn’t so hard, but what else are you supposed to do when the people you're supposed to trust the most turn on you like that

i don’t think she’s very happy where she is right now, working at the institute, but she’s not really miserable either. she just wishes she didn’t have to deal with so much, and this results in her pushing all her trauma aside rather than dealing with it head on. i wouldn’t call her suicidal, not really, she’s indifferent and apathetic towards most things. but her way of dealing with things is to just shut off her own mind + emotions and it had a lasting effect obv... but sometimes she wonders maybe if she was a better child it wouldn’t have happened and that’s the one thing that gets to her a lot.

working at the institute, she has to help students, and she’s pretty calm but things can get ugly really fast. sometimes she sees ppl who remind her of herself and she loses her temper easiest with them because she feels like it gives her a sense of control she never had - tho it gets her in big trouble sometimes