Message to Men and Boys of tumblr.com
I’ve seen a lot of posts floating around on feminist blogs about how boys don’t need positivity (???) so here’s a few things you should consider about feminism and other general things:
Don’t let anyone, feminist or not, tell you about your experiences growing up or currently. (this is called gaslighting which, ironically, is one of the top complaints among current feminism) (e.g: “you were born in a society that prioritises you!”)
“Feminist“ isn’t synonymous with “good person”. Many will use the ideologies and pseudoscience as an excuse to be racist, sexist, and generally abusive towards you. Don’t fall for it, reject it, and call it out.
Don’t be pressured into feeling guilty about your masculinity. Being male doesn’t make you an oppressor.
Anyone who says that you benefit from supposed “power structures” don’t know a thing about you or your experiences. They don’t care either, because if they did they wouldn’t generalise.
Sexism in feminism is often excused by other feminists with “feminism is actually fighting the patriarchy which harms men too”. Not only is this highly debatable within itself, this is a common abuser tactic where the abuser tries to dress their behaviour in a way that seemingly benefits the abused (”I’m doing this for your/our own good!”). If you know something is blatantly sexist, don’t give them a free pass.
Feminism isn’t synonymous with equality. Equality is a concept, feminism is a practice, meaning that only the actions of feminists can define what feminism is, whereas the definition of equality is static.
And a few general points:
Being masculine or feminine is fine. Don’t feel bad about either.
A lot of guys feel jiggle around their chests when they move. Don’t sweat it - and consider eating better/exercising more if you have a problem with it.
When in a relationship, don’t feel obligated to be the one who pays for dates, etc. If you want to, go right ahead - but you should never feel like you’ll be told off by your partner for not doing so. If you do, it’s time to talk openly to them about it.
Penises tilt in different directions. It’s fine.
One day someone might point out that you don’t/should behave like your race. Ignore them - you’re you not your race.
Here’s some resources for male domestic abuse survivors. Don’t feel embarrassed because you’re male. It happens and people want to help.
Will add more when I’m on less of a tighter schedule. :)
