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mmrow~ =(◕‿‿◕)=
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@warp-the-cat
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mmrow~ =(◕‿‿◕)=

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Mrow! ^w^
Transcript:
*Warp pushes the glass of water off the edge of the table*
Mrow! ^w^
Mrow?
Transcript:
[Cat mode: Initiated]
*Warp reaches a paw behind a glass of water, ready to push it over the edge of the table*
Mrow! =(• ◡◡ •)=
Warp i love you and i think Dr. Saiki should give you taste buds
Thank you for your affections, I'm glad my suffering is sad enough for me to be loved. I am now officially a 'poor little meow meow'. And what a novel idea. Much smarter than anything those ill-chosen prime ministers have presented at meetings. I shall forward your words to Dr. Saiki immediately.
@dr-saiki
WARP TOU CANT JUST CALL IUT KUUSUKE LIKE THAT LMAO??????
'Call iut'? Definition unknown. I am doing no such thing. I am strictly speaking facts, as I was programmed to do so.

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@dr-saiki had a nutritious breakfast of instant ramen at 7 PM today, and he used the built-in rice cooker in my flank to make it. Truly an inspirational choice from Japan's leading scientist.
mrm..mrow? meow? purr… uwu
-@warp-the-cat
W-WARP!!!??
Is that you my widdle baby!? 🥹 You made an account on here too, that us the most adorable thing EVER!!
=(⌒ ⩊ ⌒)= mew!
Indeed I have.
@warp-the-cat, please provide a report on your assigned whoopie cushion mission.
It was both a success and a failure. No one even suspected it could have been me, as I 1, appear to be an adorable cat, and 2, had an alibi for being there. However, this also means Kusuo was not able to figure out the culprit. It seems that my lack of a mind to read was the main reason for this, as well as the fact that the whoopie cushion befell a grisly fate at the hands of the Kokomins, meaning that Kusuo was unable to use his psychomatry. Conclusion- This is valuable information on Kusuo's limits.
Additional notes- Sawakita Kouki [Leader of the Kokomins] was easily gaslit by anons into believing that he was the culprit. This could potentially be something to keep in mind for the future.
Mera Chisato.
You're Teruhashi's friend, right? And you'd never do anything to harm Her out of jealousy? You're one of those fools who believes She could ever be human. So, would you prank humans? Persay, with whoopie cushions?
SOMEONE PRANKED TERUHASHI???
the girl's life is hard enough as it is, why tf are people so cruel????
If anyone did it, it would have to be someone genuinely resentful of her. I can't think of anyone who'd be willing to risk their life to harm her though.. she's just too nice to everyone.
I can't say I'd be of much help.
All I'm saying is a whoopee cushion is worth like at least 2 days of food, so I wouldn't sacrifice that to harm one of my friends.
*Butts my head against Mera's legs*
mrp? (=。•́ᆺ•̀。=)
Good kitty!
purr~! (=⌒‿‿⌒=)
Mera Chisato.
You're Teruhashi's friend, right? And you'd never do anything to harm Her out of jealousy? You're one of those fools who believes She could ever be human. So, would you prank humans? Persay, with whoopie cushions?
SOMEONE PRANKED TERUHASHI???
the girl's life is hard enough as it is, why tf are people so cruel????
If anyone did it, it would have to be someone genuinely resentful of her. I can't think of anyone who'd be willing to risk their life to harm her though.. she's just too nice to everyone.
I can't say I'd be of much help.
All I'm saying is a whoopee cushion is worth like at least 2 days of food, so I wouldn't sacrifice that to harm one of my friends.
*Butts my head against Mera's legs*
mrp? (=。•́ᆺ•̀。=)

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ngl that @thecorrectopinion guy is MAD suspicious.
He like barely reacts to Teruhashi most of the time and his oh wows sound robotic! He doesn't even attend the weekly Kokomin meetings!
Besides, someone as hateful and rude as him would obviously be jealous of our radiant queen!
I think you should impale him with spears before he can defend himself.
You’re absolutely right. I’ll hear Alex out, but he is very suspicious. He didn’t even take the option to have live footage of Teruhashi, like most Kokomins do! It’s almost like he joined arbitrarily… in order to take us down from the inside!
I fear now that this whoopie cushion marks the beginning of a much larger plot by some wicked demon who wants nothing but to destroy Teruhashi’s radiance! Well, I’ve got news for them; it isn’t going to work. I will find you, and you will be desecrated.
I’ll hear him out, but know he is on VERY thin ice.
*Sits on Sawakita's desk innocently*
puurrr =(◕‿‿◕)=
*a whoopie cushion has been placed on Teruhashi's desk chair. Considering her levels of perception, it is unknown whether she will fall for it or not*
... Did someone put this here by accident? That seems a bit odd. I wasnt aware anyone in the school really celebrated April Fools day!
WHO. IN THE OFFU. DID THIS?!?!?!?!
Oh wow, Teruhashi! Don’t mind me! Just stopping by to say hello! And warning whatever despicable person did this to you! It really is incredibly rude of you to sully your holy chair with a whoopee cushion! They must have been sabatoging you to look like you farted! Don’t worry, we see through it, know you would never pass any sort of gas, and will gladly defend your honor against the WRETCH, THE SCOURGE UPON SOCIETY THAT DARED TO DO THIS TO YOU!
=(◕ᆺ◕)= miaow?
You are very cute, may I pet you?
purrr =(uᆺu)=
*The faux fur is very soft. If you pet lightly, it's like the metal underneath isn't even there*
Hi uh
This may sound kinda random but I need to um. ..use you for a bit? I'm afraid I don't know the right words.
There's uh. This guy. at school. Whose really annoying. And scared of cats.
Could I like.. borrow you for the day? We can figure out a deal of sorts if need be.
I don't have money tho so if it's anything related to buying things then I'm afraid I can't offer that.
@plzgivefood
mrrp! =(^ᆺ^)=
I would be fine with that.
The internet is a marvelous place. I have access to an entire globe's worth of new information, all ready to be incorporated into my memory banks. @dr-saiki, what is yaoi?
Focus on this site in particular, you will be able to acquire the necessary context to find out quickly.
I have discovered that yaoi is 'boys kissing'. It's strange how much of a grip that concept has on tumblr's users. Perhaps they seek what they lack in their own lives. Someone suggested I look into yuri. The similar word structures implies that they are connected. What do you think, Dr. Saiki? Is this a worthwhile mission?

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what coding language are you written in?
I can't disclose the details of that.
.. hello warp it is nice to see you here.
@kusuomegarobot
Hello, KusuΩ. I wasn't expecting you to be here. The last I saw you, you were half-completed on Dr. Saiki's workbench. How have things developed since then?
I been. Alright. I am Finsihed, I have developed well. I hope you enjoy being on this app.
That's good. If I could feel, I would be glad to hear that. Thank you for your well-wishes. There's a high chance that I will enjoy my time here. While comparatively less sophisticated than Dr. Saiki's work, the internet is interesting nonetheless.
The internet is interesting indeed. Have a nice day warp.
You too, KusuΩ.