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@warmd4ys
a writing sideblog penned by lina . dni if under 21 .

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nods her head to let him know he heard correctly , followed by an mhm to solidify it . she was bored and whatever he was planning on doing was probably better than dealing with her brother on a good day . besides , she was curious and even if it killed the cat , at least sheād scratch the itch . āyouāre a real grump , you know that ? whatās the big deal if i come ? i promise iāll be on my best behavior , scours honor .ā she smiles , ābut if you wanna make me , you can always make it hurt .ā
yet another sigh leaves his lips , glancing at the watch on his wrist while lips purse . he doesn't have time for this , and if he was in his right mind , he'd drag her back and deposit her somewhere where following him would be impossible . ā fine . you wanna get yourself killed ? don't say i didn't warn you , ā huffs as he spins back around , footsteps quickening as he aims for the car he'd parked across the street . ā if you can't keep up , then i won't wait for you . so no slowing me down . ā
shrugs in response . well -- "too bad ." was too stubborn to listen and she had no problem putting up a fight . especially when they let her win arguments just to shut her up . almost bumps into him when he turns , taking a miniature step back and cranking her neck to look up at him , "i am though ." head cocks , placing her free hand to her hip . "no ," wiggling her toes on the concrete , she pouts to herself , "they hurt me ."
the stony expression doesn't falter as he looks down at her . if anything , his brows pull together even tighter . ā too bad , ā repeats . he doesn't know what she thinks he'll be doing tonight , but he's not about to drag her into it . too much is on the line , and he's wasted enough time already . ā you're acting like you have a choice , when i'm telling you that you're not coming . if you don't turn around then i could always make you . ā
austinĀ Ā knowsĀ Ā thatĀ Ā he'sĀ Ā notĀ Ā makingĀ Ā itĀ Ā easyĀ Ā onĀ Ā herĀ Ā andĀ Ā thatĀ Ā thisĀ Ā isĀ Ā aĀ Ā situationĀ Ā neitherĀ Ā ofĀ Ā themĀ Ā shouldĀ Ā wantĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā inĀ Ā ,Ā Ā butĀ Ā inĀ Ā hisĀ Ā defenseĀ Ā ,Ā Ā heĀ Ā doesn'tĀ Ā wantĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ Ā inĀ Ā itĀ Ā .Ā Ā heĀ Ā needsĀ Ā herĀ Ā .Ā Ā needsĀ Ā herĀ Ā inĀ Ā aĀ Ā wayĀ Ā thatĀ Ā he'sĀ Ā neverĀ Ā neededĀ Ā anyoneĀ Ā elseĀ Ā .Ā Ā thisĀ Ā wasĀ Ā newĀ Ā toĀ Ā himĀ Ā ,Ā Ā andĀ Ā maybeĀ Ā that'sĀ Ā whyĀ Ā heĀ Ā wasĀ Ā soĀ Ā willingĀ Ā toĀ Ā riskĀ Ā hisĀ Ā lifeĀ Ā (Ā Ā becauseĀ Ā that'sĀ Ā preciselyĀ Ā whatĀ Ā heĀ Ā wasĀ Ā doingĀ Ā gettingĀ Ā involvedĀ Ā withĀ Ā gaiaĀ Ā )Ā Ā ,Ā Ā butĀ Ā theĀ Ā thoughtĀ Ā ofĀ Ā beingĀ Ā ableĀ Ā toĀ Ā kissĀ Ā her,Ā Ā holdĀ Ā herĀ Ā supersedesĀ Ā negativeĀ Ā thoughtsĀ Ā .Ā Ā allowsĀ Ā herĀ Ā toĀ Ā dragĀ Ā himĀ Ā awayĀ Ā fromĀ Ā anyĀ Ā wanderingĀ Ā eyesĀ Ā ,Ā Ā "Ā Ā iĀ Ā knowĀ Ā ,Ā Ā "Ā Ā wishesĀ Ā thatĀ Ā weren'tĀ Ā theĀ Ā caseĀ Ā ,Ā Ā butĀ Ā heĀ Ā agreesĀ Ā regardlessĀ Ā .Ā Ā supposesĀ Ā it'sĀ Ā betterĀ Ā toĀ Ā haveĀ Ā herĀ Ā inĀ Ā secretĀ Ā thanĀ Ā notĀ Ā atĀ Ā allĀ Ā .Ā Ā bothĀ Ā handsĀ Ā findĀ Ā aĀ Ā wayĀ Ā toĀ Ā brunette'sĀ Ā waistĀ Ā asĀ Ā sheĀ Ā dropsĀ Ā his.Ā Ā oceanicĀ Ā opticsĀ Ā droppingĀ Ā toĀ Ā herĀ Ā graspĀ Ā onĀ Ā hisĀ Ā shirtĀ Ā ,Ā Ā andĀ Ā itĀ Ā causesĀ Ā theĀ Ā slightestĀ Ā chuckleĀ Ā toĀ Ā rumbleĀ Ā fromĀ Ā hisĀ Ā throatĀ Ā beforeĀ Ā movingĀ Ā huesĀ Ā toĀ Ā meetĀ Ā herĀ Ā gazeĀ Ā onceĀ Ā moreĀ Ā .Ā Ā "Ā Ā i'veĀ Ā neverĀ Ā beenĀ Ā moreĀ Ā fuckin'Ā Ā sureĀ Ā aboutĀ Ā anythingĀ Ā .Ā Ā "
accepting defeat should be more difficult than this . she should feel anything other than undeniable relief , yet that's all she feels . beneath all of that , is the fear of what might happen . fear for him , fear of him . running in these circles doesn't come without consequences , and the risk of losing yet another important part of her life terrifies her . but she's tired of fighting . ā good . ā doesn't relinquish the grip on his shirt as she closes the space between their lips . a slow , lingering kiss , savouring the taste of him . she pulls back a moment so she can give him a slow smile . ā not gonna go changing your mind on me , are you ? ā
"Ā Ā iĀ Ā don'tĀ Ā giveĀ Ā aĀ Ā fuckĀ Ā ,Ā Ā "Ā Ā isĀ Ā stillĀ Ā adamantĀ Ā aboutĀ Ā thatĀ Ā ,Ā Ā ignoringĀ Ā theĀ Ā restĀ Ā ofĀ Ā hisĀ Ā questionĀ Ā becauseĀ Ā ,Ā Ā ofĀ Ā courseĀ Ā ,Ā Ā janelleĀ Ā wantsĀ Ā hisĀ Ā attentionĀ Ā .Ā Ā wouldĀ Ā moreĀ Ā thanĀ Ā likelyĀ Ā alwaysĀ Ā wantĀ Ā hisĀ Ā attentionĀ Ā ,Ā Ā whichĀ Ā wasĀ Ā unfortunateĀ Ā asĀ Ā fuckĀ Ā forĀ Ā herĀ Ā .Ā Ā theĀ Ā worstĀ Ā partĀ Ā wasĀ Ā thatĀ Ā noĀ Ā matterĀ Ā howĀ Ā muchĀ Ā sheĀ Ā liedĀ Ā andĀ Ā insistedĀ Ā thatĀ Ā sheĀ Ā doesn'tĀ Ā careĀ Ā forĀ Ā himĀ Ā orĀ Ā whateverĀ Ā messĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā relationshipĀ Ā thatĀ Ā theyĀ Ā haveĀ Ā ,Ā Ā noahĀ Ā knowsĀ Ā she'sĀ Ā lyingĀ Ā .Ā Ā andĀ Ā itĀ Ā pissesĀ Ā herĀ Ā offĀ Ā moreĀ Ā thanĀ Ā anythingĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā worldĀ Ā .Ā Ā "Ā Ā iĀ Ā don'tĀ Ā knowĀ Ā ,Ā Ā maybeĀ Ā you'veĀ Ā blackedĀ Ā itĀ Ā outĀ Ā ofĀ Ā yourĀ Ā mindĀ Ā ,Ā Ā "Ā Ā knowsĀ Ā thatĀ Ā she'sĀ Ā givenĀ Ā himĀ Ā exactlyĀ Ā whatĀ Ā heĀ Ā wantsĀ Ā whenĀ Ā she'sĀ Ā steppingĀ Ā closerĀ Ā toĀ Ā himĀ Ā ,Ā Ā chestsĀ Ā almostĀ Ā pressedĀ Ā upĀ Ā againstĀ Ā eachĀ Ā otherĀ Ā withĀ Ā noĀ Ā spaceĀ Ā forĀ Ā evenĀ Ā airĀ Ā toĀ Ā passĀ Ā throughĀ Ā .Ā Ā "Ā Ā fixedĀ Ā thingsĀ Ā likeĀ Ā whatĀ Ā ?Ā Ā i'dĀ Ā loveĀ Ā forĀ Ā youĀ Ā toĀ Ā listĀ Ā aĀ Ā fewĀ Ā ,Ā Ā noahĀ Ā .Ā Ā pleaseĀ Ā enlightenĀ Ā meĀ Ā .Ā Ā "
ā keep telling yourself that , babe , maybe one day you might actually believe it , ā condescending tone is matched by a deprecating grin , frame exuding the ease of someone so self - assured in their place that he hardly finds it necessary to put his guards up . no , her words are going straight over his head . brushed off his shoulders like specs of dust , because he knows that none of them are true . ā pretty sure that's just you trying to convince yourself that you can find better . ā shrugs out of pure arrogance . the more words that leave her lips , the cockier he gets , especially when she steps closer . digits lift to linger at her waist , drifting down to her hips as he dips his head closer , though not quite touching . ā like when you say you hate me when we both know you clearly don't . seems to stop you from complaining , too . ā

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freya snorts . "and that means i'm supposed to listen to you ?" what did he take her for ? an amateur ? "hold up ," she bends to undo the straps to her shoes before peeling them off her feet and holding them in her hand . much better , "i can't walk fast in these heels ."
the sigh he relieves following her words is difficult to me . ā that's the general idea , yeah . ā clamps down on the smile threatening to bloom at her insistence , instead stopping in his tracks and spinning on his heels , facing her . ā i mean it . you're not coming , ā insists . glances down her frame for a moment . ā put your shoes back on . ā
hisĀ Ā bodyĀ Ā visiblyĀ Ā tensesĀ Ā atĀ Ā theĀ Ā remark,Ā Ā choosingĀ Ā toĀ Ā remainĀ Ā inĀ Ā silenceĀ Ā thanĀ Ā allowĀ Ā theĀ Ā voiceĀ Ā thatĀ Ā pickedĀ Ā apartĀ Ā hisĀ Ā head-Ā Ā toĀ Ā respond so quickly.Ā Ā "really,"Ā Ā he'sĀ Ā notĀ Ā evenĀ Ā lookingĀ Ā atĀ Ā her,Ā Ā insteadĀ Ā there'sĀ Ā aĀ Ā quietĀ Ā glanceĀ Ā upĀ Ā fromĀ Ā whereĀ Ā heĀ Ā wasĀ Ā stationedĀ Ā atĀ Ā theĀ Ā mirror,Ā Ā herĀ Ā reflectionĀ Ā anĀ Ā indirectĀ Ā tauntĀ Ā ofĀ Ā it'sĀ Ā ownĀ Ā asĀ Ā irisesĀ Ā peeredĀ Ā acrossĀ Ā frame.Ā Ā "youĀ Ā haveĀ Ā toĀ Ā startĀ Ā now?"Ā Ā god,Ā Ā theĀ Ā dismissalĀ Ā wasĀ Ā practicallyĀ Ā venom,Ā Ā swashedĀ Ā aroundĀ Ā andĀ Ā leavingĀ Ā aĀ Ā nastyĀ Ā tasteĀ Ā onĀ Ā theĀ Ā tiltĀ Ā ofĀ Ā hisĀ Ā silverĀ Ā tongue.Ā Ā "weĀ Ā don'tĀ Ā haveĀ Ā timeĀ Ā forĀ Ā this."Ā Ā anotherĀ Ā retractionĀ Ā asĀ Ā he'sĀ Ā finallyĀ Ā turningĀ Ā toĀ Ā lookĀ Ā atĀ Ā herĀ Ā directlyĀ Ā now.Ā Ā "getĀ Ā dressed."Ā Ā
can hardly believe the words that are being spewed her way , and it's with gut - wrenching , sinking feeling that she realises she should have expected this . but the cruel reality is that she is hopeful , or she was . but she feels that dwindling into dust the more he speaks . ā no . ā arms fold over chest as she sinks into the chair , knowing that staying standing will make her appear far more confident than she currently feels , but she needs to relieve the unease in her stomach . ā i'm not going anywhere . not until you tell me the truth . ā typically , she isn't demanding , but she holds back the tears that are pricking at the back of irises . ā do you feel anything at all ? ā
she'sĀ Ā highĀ Ā again,Ā Ā andĀ Ā youĀ Ā can'tĀ Ā tellĀ Ā byĀ Ā theĀ Ā stoicĀ Ā presenceĀ Ā ofĀ Ā aĀ Ā bodyĀ Ā she'sĀ Ā trainedĀ Ā herselfĀ Ā in.Ā Ā butĀ Ā theĀ Ā eyes,Ā Ā they'reĀ Ā glossedĀ Ā inĀ Ā aĀ Ā familiarĀ Ā hazeĀ Ā -Ā Ā andĀ Ā herĀ Ā tongueĀ Ā isĀ Ā sharpenedĀ Ā forĀ Ā aĀ Ā fight,Ā Ā butĀ Ā thunderĀ Ā cracksĀ Ā betweenĀ Ā herĀ Ā ribs.Ā Ā silencingĀ Ā theĀ Ā jab,Ā Ā asĀ Ā sheĀ Ā avoidsĀ Ā hisĀ Ā gaze.Ā Ā don'tĀ Ā lookĀ Ā tooĀ Ā close.Ā Ā "i'mĀ Ā notĀ Ā surprised."Ā Ā herĀ Ā frameĀ Ā isĀ Ā small,Ā Ā slinkedĀ Ā byĀ Ā himĀ Ā likeĀ Ā sheĀ Ā wasĀ Ā aĀ Ā ghostĀ Ā inĀ Ā itself.Ā Ā she'llĀ Ā neverĀ Ā getĀ Ā herĀ Ā toĀ Ā admitĀ Ā it-Ā Ā theĀ Ā problemĀ Ā wasĀ Ā lacedĀ Ā inĀ Ā herĀ Ā veins,Ā Ā andĀ Ā linedĀ Ā onĀ Ā bathroomĀ Ā countersĀ Ā inĀ Ā theĀ Ā privacyĀ Ā ofĀ Ā justĀ Ā her,Ā Ā andĀ Ā theĀ Ā reflectionsĀ Ā tauntingĀ Ā smile.Ā Ā herĀ Ā backĀ Ā isĀ Ā turnedĀ Ā towardsĀ Ā him,Ā Ā asĀ Ā anxiousĀ Ā fingertipsĀ Ā trembledĀ Ā withĀ Ā theĀ Ā familiarĀ Ā shakes,Ā Ā reachingĀ Ā towardsĀ Ā theĀ Ā fridgeĀ Ā toĀ Ā peerĀ Ā inside.Ā Ā nothingĀ Ā sheĀ Ā wants-Ā Ā she'sĀ Ā justĀ Ā makingĀ Ā herĀ Ā handsĀ Ā busy,Ā Ā soĀ Ā heĀ Ā doesn'tĀ Ā observeĀ Ā theĀ Ā wayĀ Ā theyĀ Ā fidget.Ā Ā it'sĀ Ā notĀ Ā likeĀ Ā heĀ Ā noticedĀ Ā lately-Ā Ā tooĀ Ā busyĀ Ā withĀ Ā aĀ Ā lifeĀ Ā destinedĀ Ā onĀ Ā aĀ Ā oneĀ Ā wayĀ Ā trackĀ Ā awayĀ Ā fromĀ Ā her.Ā Ā fuckĀ Ā him.Ā Ā "stopĀ Ā fuckingĀ Ā staringĀ Ā atĀ Ā me."Ā Ā angelĀ Ā snappedĀ Ā canines,Ā Ā asĀ Ā sheĀ Ā canĀ Ā feelĀ Ā hisĀ Ā eyes-Ā Ā orĀ Ā maybeĀ Ā sheĀ Ā wasĀ Ā justĀ Ā paranoid.Ā Ā "youĀ Ā wantĀ Ā toĀ Ā leave?"Ā Ā herĀ Ā heartĀ Ā twists,Ā Ā heavyĀ Ā andĀ Ā achingĀ Ā asĀ Ā glazedĀ Ā irisesĀ Ā areĀ Ā pointedĀ Ā backĀ Ā atĀ Ā him,Ā Ā comingĀ Ā downĀ Ā fromĀ Ā whateverĀ Ā sheĀ Ā took,Ā Ā onlyĀ Ā nowĀ Ā theyĀ Ā brimĀ Ā withĀ Ā tears.Ā Ā fuckĀ Ā you.Ā Ā "nobody'sĀ Ā makingĀ Ā youĀ Ā stay-Ā Ā go!"Ā Ā iĀ Ā loveĀ Ā you.Ā Ā
masters himself enough to merely lift a brow , though there's a tick to his jaw that displays he isn't as cool , calm and collected as he claims . perhaps he could have delivered the blow more delicately , but doing so would only create false hope and that's the last thing he wants . ā i'm not staring at you , ā states , composure remaining intact , though gaze slides over her as he takes in her lack there - of . though the slight tremble to her hands has his brows pulling together ; wonders for a moment if it's a quirk of hers he simply missed , but there's something he can't quite pinpoint while he watches her . she seems off , somehow . now he's staring . ā what are you doing ? ā question is cut towards her a little abrasively , brows furrowed for a moment before he catches himself . why can he never say the right thing ? ā look , i'm sorry . i should have phrased that better . ā a bit of an understatement , and maybe he should go as she says , but her watering eyes stop him . ā do you really want me to leave ? ā
heĀ doesn'tĀ wantĀ toĀ admitĀ sheĀ amusesĀ himĀ butĀ atĀ someĀ pointĀ ,Ā heĀ can'tĀ seemĀ toĀ hideĀ itĀ .Ā aĀ hintĀ ofĀ aĀ smileĀ lingeringĀ onĀ hisĀ faceĀ asĀ sheĀ goesĀ onĀ ,Ā hasĀ toĀ admireĀ herĀ stubbornnessĀ .Ā wouldĀ admireĀ herĀ courageĀ tooĀ ifĀ itĀ wasn'tĀ forĀ theĀ factĀ sheĀ didn'tĀ knowĀ whatĀ sheĀ wasĀ gettingĀ herĀ safeĀ tangledĀ intoĀ .Ā "Ā i'mĀ notĀ tryingĀ toĀ scareĀ youĀ ,Ā i'mĀ justĀ notĀ interestedĀ anymoreĀ "Ā liesĀ ,Ā andĀ theyĀ soundedĀ fakeĀ tooĀ ,Ā whenĀ heĀ heardĀ itĀ backĀ .Ā "Ā you'reĀ justĀ gonnaĀ standĀ outsideĀ andĀ waitĀ forĀ meĀ ?Ā that'sĀ stalkingĀ ,Ā babyĀ "Ā
ā no , what you are is predicable . ā despite herself , hues roll at his insistence . and as usual , she ignores every warning . ignores the feeling settling in her gut that perhaps she should think on his cautions and count her losses . but one thing she won't do , one thing she has never even considered doing is give up . ā no , i'm going in with you . you really think i'm the type of girl to sit on the sidelines and wait around ? i thought you were intellectual , but i guess all guys really are the same . ā
wantsĀ toĀ pretendĀ sheĀ hatesĀ theĀ grinĀ thatĀ startsĀ toĀ bloomĀ overĀ hisĀ featuresĀ ,Ā crossingĀ herĀ armsĀ tighterĀ onĀ herĀ chestĀ asĀ sheĀ narrowsĀ herĀ gazeĀ .Ā "Ā he'sĀ actuallyĀ entertainingĀ whenĀ he'sĀ notĀ tryingĀ toĀ haveĀ aĀ coldĀ warĀ withĀ youĀ fromĀ theĀ otherĀ sideĀ ofĀ theĀ roomĀ "Ā spitsĀ ,Ā shakingĀ herĀ headĀ asĀ eyesĀ rollĀ ,Ā poisonĀ leakingĀ toĀ herĀ wordsĀ onlyĀ forĀ theĀ sakeĀ ofĀ slappingĀ thatĀ smugĀ outĀ ofĀ hisĀ faceĀ .Ā wouldĀ easilyĀ admitĀ theĀ boyĀ inĀ questionĀ wasĀ merelyĀ aĀ clientĀ ,Ā someoneĀ sheĀ wasĀ supposedĀ toĀ talkĀ toĀ onlyĀ forĀ theĀ sakeĀ ofĀ keepingĀ herĀ jobĀ āĀ butĀ she'sĀ decidedĀ heĀ doesn'tĀ deserveĀ thatĀ assuranceĀ tonightĀ .Ā "Ā dependsĀ "Ā
ā of course he is . and that's why you're over here with me rather than with him . come on , yare , i thought you were meant to be difficult to read . ā words are spoken with far more confidence than he actually feels . he supposes he would feel more reassured if she admitted she has no interest in the guy , but that's not exactly something that he can help , as much as he would like to . ā let me take you out . we'll make a night of it . if you still prefer hawk - eye over there after then i'll leave you alone . ā

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never had been someone who was able to sleep through a hurricane āā the only exception being with him, and the moment he wasn't there ? it would only be so long until she found herself wandering through the house to find him. slipped onto his lap the moment she'd laid eyes on him behind his desk, the first place she'd go to look these days, and laid her head against his shoulder. " you weren't there, " words were still laced with sleep, the confession too easy. " there's something seriously wrong with you for picking this chair over me. "
smile is hidden as he presses his face into her hair , gently kissing the crown while arms tuck her in closer . ā couldn't sleep , ā explains in a mumble , knowing he doesn't need to say any more than that for her to understand . his fingers caress her skin in soothing motions , the wind crashing against the windows turning into background noise for a moment . ā thought i'd get some work done , but i've been staring at this screen and it's just blank . ā perhaps it'd do him a favour if the power would cut off . then again , his father would probably try blaming him for that , too .
chin is cupped in his hand as the glare of the computer screen has him squinting his eyes , his inability to sleep leading him to do the one thing that'll never let him rest : work . gaze lifts from where it's trailing when he hears footsteps approaching , leaning back in his chair as he looks to yaime . ā what are you doing up ? ā asks , arms automatically opening for her .
ā what are you doing here ? ā
open to : any .
ā i thought i told you not to follow me ? ā
š šš«š§š¢š” ššššā ā š« ā ā ļ¹ā ā damian hardung gif pack Ā .įā by clicking the source link you'll gain access Ā ( ź ) to 457+ gifs of the german actor damian hardung as jason beaufort in the prime video show maxton hall : the world between us ( 2024 ) . all gifs were made by me from scratch , please reblog and follow my rules if you plan on using this pack . ą©
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"Ā aĀ guyĀ whoĀ isn't able toĀ prioritizeĀ moreĀ thanĀ oneĀ thingĀ atĀ aĀ timeĀ .Ā "Ā easierĀ toĀ shiftĀ theĀ blameĀ ontoĀ himĀ ,Ā ratherĀ thanĀ considerĀ herselfĀ asĀ someoneĀ notĀ worthĀ prioritizingĀ .Ā sheĀ hadĀ plentyĀ ofĀ timeĀ toĀ doĀ thatĀ laterĀ ,Ā inĀ theĀ isolationĀ ofĀ herĀ ownĀ thoughtsĀ .Ā "Ā i'mĀ notĀ tryingĀ toĀ makeĀ youĀ feelĀ badĀ ,Ā justĀ sayingĀ itĀ likeĀ itĀ isĀ .Ā "Ā shootsĀ backĀ ,Ā thoughĀ sheĀ wasĀ definitelyĀ tryingĀ toĀ makeĀ himĀ feelĀ atĀ leastĀ aĀ smidgeĀ ofĀ regretĀ .Ā "Ā ohĀ pleaseĀ ,Ā don'tĀ doĀ meĀ anyĀ favoursĀ hereĀ .Ā howĀ exactlyĀ doĀ youĀ thinkĀ you'reĀ helpingĀ meĀ rightĀ nowĀ ?Ā "
ā what , so i'm supposed to put what i've worked on my entire life just because you can't handle the fact that work is important to me ? ā he practically puts the words in her mouth , despite the fact that he's not said at all . he has long since perfected the art of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time , unable to hold his tongue . it has served him well at work , but in his personal life ... not so much . ā as much as you won't believe me , i don't want to hurt you . i can't promise that i'll give you a hundred percent in the future , and you need that . fuck , that's what you deserve . you know what life i lead . ā
hatedĀ seeingĀ anyoneĀ cryĀ ,Ā butĀ especiallyĀ herĀ āĀ naggingĀ voiceĀ inĀ theĀ backĀ ofĀ hisĀ headĀ alreadyĀ startingĀ toĀ warnĀ himĀ thatĀ thisĀ wasĀ aĀ mistakeĀ .Ā butĀ logicĀ tendedĀ toĀ prevailĀ forĀ himĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ choosesĀ toĀ trustĀ hisĀ headĀ insteadĀ ofĀ hisĀ heartĀ onceĀ againĀ .Ā "Ā it'sĀ notĀ thatĀ ,Ā it'sĀ justāĀ "Ā howĀ canĀ heĀ explainĀ thisĀ toĀ herĀ ?Ā thatĀ heĀ carriesĀ theĀ weightĀ ,Ā theĀ riskĀ ofĀ otherĀ people'sĀ livesĀ onĀ hisĀ shouldersĀ everyĀ dayĀ ,Ā andĀ heĀ doesn'tĀ knowĀ ifĀ heĀ canĀ handleĀ worryingĀ aboutĀ someoneĀ elseĀ puttingĀ theirĀ lifeĀ atĀ riskĀ byĀ choiceĀ .Ā "Ā iĀ didn'tĀ realizeĀ youĀ wereĀ involvedĀ inĀ somethingĀ soĀ dangerousĀ .Ā "Ā asĀ ifĀ puttingĀ distanceĀ betweenĀ themĀ nowĀ wouldĀ keepĀ himĀ fromĀ caringĀ aboutĀ herĀ ,Ā fromĀ wonderingĀ ifĀ sheĀ wasĀ alrightĀ whenĀ heĀ laidĀ awakeĀ atĀ nightĀ .Ā "Ā whyĀ didn'tĀ youĀ mentionĀ itĀ beforeĀ ?Ā "
ā it's in a controlled environment , ā protests feebly , as if it will make the slightest bit of difference while part of her knows that it's a foolish hope . she can't even explain why she does it , only that it gives her a feeling of freedom that she's never experienced before . on those nights , people who live otherwise ordinary lives will come together , and when the rumble of the engines start that all gets pushed aside . ā because of the way you're looking at me right now . ā dark locks fall over her shoulders as her chin dips downward , unable to take the expression on his face . ā it doesn't make me a different person . i'm still me , i just have a hobby like everyone else . ā