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nods her head to let him know he heard correctly , followed by an mhm to solidify it . she was bored and whatever he was planning on doing was probably better than dealing with her brother on a good day . besides , she was curious and even if it killed the cat , at least she’d scratch the itch . “you’re a real grump , you know that ? what’s the big deal if i come ? i promise i’ll be on my best behavior , scours honor .” she smiles , “but if you wanna make me , you can always make it hurt .”

yet another sigh leaves his lips , glancing at the watch on his wrist while lips purse . he doesn't have time for this , and if he was in his right mind , he'd drag her back and deposit her somewhere where following him would be impossible . ❝ fine . you wanna get yourself killed ? don't say i didn't warn you , ❞ huffs as he spins back around , footsteps quickening as he aims for the car he'd parked across the street . ❝ if you can't keep up , then i won't wait for you . so no slowing me down . ❞

shrugs in response . well -- "too bad ." was too stubborn to listen and she had no problem putting up a fight . especially when they let her win arguments just to shut her up . almost bumps into him when he turns , taking a miniature step back and cranking her neck to look up at him , "i am though ." head cocks , placing her free hand to her hip . "no ," wiggling her toes on the concrete , she pouts to herself , "they hurt me ."

the stony expression doesn't falter as he looks down at her . if anything , his brows pull together even tighter . ❝ too bad , ❞ repeats . he doesn't know what she thinks he'll be doing tonight , but he's not about to drag her into it . too much is on the line , and he's wasted enough time already . ❝ you're acting like you have a choice , when i'm telling you that you're not coming . if you don't turn around then i could always make you . ❞

austin   knows   that   he's   not   making   it   easy   on   her   and   that   this   is   a   situation   neither   of   them   should   want   to   be   in   ,   but   in   his   defense   ,   he   doesn't   want   to   be   in   it   .   he   needs   her   .   needs   her   in   a   way   that   he's   never   needed   anyone   else   .   this   was   new   to   him   ,   and   maybe   that's   why   he   was   so   willing   to   risk   his   life   (   because   that's   precisely   what   he   was   doing   getting   involved   with   gaia   )   ,   but   the   thought   of   being   able   to   kiss   her,   hold   her   supersedes   negative   thoughts   .   allows   her   to   drag   him   away   from   any   wandering   eyes   ,   "   i   know   ,   "   wishes   that   weren't   the   case   ,   but   he   agrees   regardless   .   supposes   it's   better   to   have   her   in   secret   than   not   at   all   .   both   hands   find   a   way   to   brunette's   waist   as   she   drops   his.   oceanic   optics   dropping   to   her   grasp   on   his   shirt   ,   and   it   causes   the   slightest   chuckle   to   rumble   from   his   throat   before   moving   hues   to   meet   her   gaze   once   more   .   "   i've   never   been   more   fuckin'   sure   about   anything   .   "

accepting defeat should be more difficult than this . she should feel anything other than undeniable relief , yet that's all she feels . beneath all of that , is the fear of what might happen . fear for him , fear of him . running in these circles doesn't come without consequences , and the risk of losing yet another important part of her life terrifies her . but she's tired of fighting . ❝ good . ❞ doesn't relinquish the grip on his shirt as she closes the space between their lips . a slow , lingering kiss , savouring the taste of him . she pulls back a moment so she can give him a slow smile . ❝ not gonna go changing your mind on me , are you ? ❞

"   i   don't   give   a   fuck   ,   "   is   still   adamant   about   that   ,   ignoring   the   rest   of   his   question   because   ,   of   course   ,   janelle   wants   his   attention   .   would   more   than   likely   always   want   his   attention   ,   which   was   unfortunate   as   fuck   for   her   .   the   worst   part   was   that   no   matter   how   much   she   lied   and   insisted   that   she   doesn't   care   for   him   or   whatever   mess   of   a   relationship   that   they   have   ,   noah   knows   she's   lying   .   and   it   pisses   her   off   more   than   anything   in   the   world   .   "   i   don't   know   ,   maybe   you've   blacked   it   out   of   your   mind   ,   "   knows   that   she's   given   him   exactly   what   he   wants   when   she's   stepping   closer   to   him   ,   chests   almost   pressed   up   against   each   other   with   no   space   for   even   air   to   pass   through   .   "   fixed   things   like   what   ?   i'd   love   for   you   to   list   a   few   ,   noah   .   please   enlighten   me   .   "

❝ keep telling yourself that , babe , maybe one day you might actually believe it , ❞ condescending tone is matched by a deprecating grin , frame exuding the ease of someone so self - assured in their place that he hardly finds it necessary to put his guards up . no , her words are going straight over his head . brushed off his shoulders like specs of dust , because he knows that none of them are true . ❝ pretty sure that's just you trying to convince yourself that you can find better . ❞ shrugs out of pure arrogance . the more words that leave her lips , the cockier he gets , especially when she steps closer . digits lift to linger at her waist , drifting down to her hips as he dips his head closer , though not quite touching . ❝ like when you say you hate me when we both know you clearly don't . seems to stop you from complaining , too . ❞

freya snorts . "and that means i'm supposed to listen to you ?" what did he take her for ? an amateur ? "hold up ," she bends to undo the straps to her shoes before peeling them off her feet and holding them in her hand . much better , "i can't walk fast in these heels ."

the sigh he relieves following her words is difficult to me . ❝ that's the general idea , yeah . ❞ clamps down on the smile threatening to bloom at her insistence , instead stopping in his tracks and spinning on his heels , facing her . ❝ i mean it . you're not coming , ❞ insists . glances down her frame for a moment . ❝ put your shoes back on . ❞

his   body   visibly   tenses   at   the   remark,   choosing   to   remain   in   silence   than   allow   the   voice   that   picked   apart   his   head-   to   respond so quickly.   "really,"   he's   not   even   looking   at   her,   instead   there's   a   quiet   glance   up   from   where   he   was   stationed   at   the   mirror,   her   reflection   an   indirect   taunt   of   it's   own   as   irises   peered   across   frame.   "you   have   to   start   now?"   god,   the   dismissal   was   practically   venom,   swashed   around   and   leaving   a   nasty   taste   on   the   tilt   of   his   silver   tongue.   "we   don't   have   time   for   this."   another   retraction   as   he's   finally   turning   to   look   at   her   directly   now.   "get   dressed."   

can hardly believe the words that are being spewed her way , and it's with gut - wrenching , sinking feeling that she realises she should have expected this . but the cruel reality is that she is hopeful , or she was . but she feels that dwindling into dust the more he speaks . ❝ no . ❞ arms fold over chest as she sinks into the chair , knowing that staying standing will make her appear far more confident than she currently feels , but she needs to relieve the unease in her stomach . ❝ i'm not going anywhere . not until you tell me the truth . ❞ typically , she isn't demanding , but she holds back the tears that are pricking at the back of irises . ❝ do you feel anything at all ? ❞

she's   high   again,   and   you   can't   tell   by   the   stoic   presence   of   a   body   she's   trained   herself   in.   but   the   eyes,   they're   glossed   in   a   familiar   haze   -   and   her   tongue   is   sharpened   for   a   fight,   but   thunder   cracks   between   her   ribs.   silencing   the   jab,   as   she   avoids   his   gaze.   don't   look   too   close.   "i'm   not   surprised."   her   frame   is   small,   slinked   by   him   like   she   was   a   ghost   in   itself.   she'll   never   get   her   to   admit   it-   the   problem   was   laced   in   her   veins,   and   lined   on   bathroom   counters   in   the   privacy   of   just   her,   and   the   reflections   taunting   smile.   her   back   is   turned   towards   him,   as   anxious   fingertips   trembled   with   the   familiar   shakes,   reaching   towards   the   fridge   to   peer   inside.   nothing   she   wants-   she's   just   making   her   hands   busy,   so   he   doesn't   observe   the   way   they   fidget.   it's   not   like   he   noticed   lately-   too   busy   with   a   life   destined   on   a   one   way   track   away   from   her.   fuck   him.   "stop   fucking   staring   at   me."   angel   snapped   canines,   as   she   can   feel   his   eyes-   or   maybe   she   was   just   paranoid.   "you   want   to   leave?"   her   heart   twists,   heavy   and   aching   as   glazed   irises   are   pointed   back   at   him,   coming   down   from   whatever   she   took,   only   now   they   brim   with   tears.   fuck   you.   "nobody's   making   you   stay-   go!"   i   love   you.   

masters himself enough to merely lift a brow , though there's a tick to his jaw that displays he isn't as cool , calm and collected as he claims . perhaps he could have delivered the blow more delicately , but doing so would only create false hope and that's the last thing he wants . ❝ i'm not staring at you , ❞ states , composure remaining intact , though gaze slides over her as he takes in her lack there - of . though the slight tremble to her hands has his brows pulling together ; wonders for a moment if it's a quirk of hers he simply missed , but there's something he can't quite pinpoint while he watches her . she seems off , somehow . now he's staring . ❝ what are you doing ? ❞ question is cut towards her a little abrasively , brows furrowed for a moment before he catches himself . why can he never say the right thing ? ❝ look , i'm sorry . i should have phrased that better . ❞ a bit of an understatement , and maybe he should go as she says , but her watering eyes stop him . ❝ do you really want me to leave ? ❞

he  doesn't  want  to  admit  she  amuses  him  but  at  some  point  ,  he  can't  seem  to  hide  it  .  a  hint  of  a  smile  lingering  on  his  face  as  she  goes  on  ,  has  to  admire  her  stubbornness  .  would  admire  her  courage  too  if  it  wasn't  for  the  fact  she  didn't  know  what  she  was  getting  her  safe  tangled  into  .  "  i'm  not  trying  to  scare  you  ,  i'm  just  not  interested  anymore  "  lies  ,  and  they  sounded  fake  too  ,  when  he  heard  it  back  .  "  you're  just  gonna  stand  outside  and  wait  for  me  ?  that's  stalking  ,  baby  " 

❝ no , what you are is predicable . ❞ despite herself , hues roll at his insistence . and as usual , she ignores every warning . ignores the feeling settling in her gut that perhaps she should think on his cautions and count her losses . but one thing she won't do , one thing she has never even considered doing is give up . ❝ no , i'm going in with you . you really think i'm the type of girl to sit on the sidelines and wait around ? i thought you were intellectual , but i guess all guys really are the same . ❞

wants  to  pretend  she  hates  the  grin  that  starts  to  bloom  over  his  features  ,  crossing  her  arms  tighter  on  her  chest  as  she  narrows  her  gaze  .  "  he's  actually  entertaining  when  he's  not  trying  to  have  a  cold  war  with  you  from  the  other  side  of  the  room  "  spits  ,  shaking  her  head  as  eyes  roll  ,  poison  leaking  to  her  words  only  for  the  sake  of  slapping  that  smug  out  of  his  face  .  would  easily  admit  the  boy  in  question  was  merely  a  client  ,  someone  she  was  supposed  to  talk  to  only  for  the  sake  of  keeping  her  job  —  but  she's  decided  he  doesn't  deserve  that  assurance  tonight  .  "  depends  " 

❝ of course he is . and that's why you're over here with me rather than with him . come on , yare , i thought you were meant to be difficult to read . ❞ words are spoken with far more confidence than he actually feels . he supposes he would feel more reassured if she admitted she has no interest in the guy , but that's not exactly something that he can help , as much as he would like to . ❝ let me take you out . we'll make a night of it . if you still prefer hawk - eye over there after then i'll leave you alone . ❞

never had been someone who was able to sleep through a hurricane –– the only exception being with him, and the moment he wasn't there ? it would only be so long until she found herself wandering through the house to find him. slipped onto his lap the moment she'd laid eyes on him behind his desk, the first place she'd go to look these days, and laid her head against his shoulder. " you weren't there, " words were still laced with sleep, the confession too easy. " there's something seriously wrong with you for picking this chair over me. "

smile is hidden as he presses his face into her hair , gently kissing the crown while arms tuck her in closer . ❝ couldn't sleep , ❞ explains in a mumble , knowing he doesn't need to say any more than that for her to understand . his fingers caress her skin in soothing motions , the wind crashing against the windows turning into background noise for a moment . ❝ thought i'd get some work done , but i've been staring at this screen and it's just blank . ❞ perhaps it'd do him a favour if the power would cut off . then again , his father would probably try blaming him for that , too .

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"  a  guy  who  isn't able to  prioritize  more  than  one  thing  at  a  time  .  "  easier  to  shift  the  blame  onto  him  ,  rather  than  consider  herself  as  someone  not  worth  prioritizing  .  she  had  plenty  of  time  to  do  that  later  ,  in  the  isolation  of  her  own  thoughts  .  "  i'm  not  trying  to  make  you  feel  bad  ,  just  saying  it  like  it  is  .  "  shoots  back  ,  though  she  was  definitely  trying  to  make  him  feel  at  least  a  smidge  of  regret  .  "  oh  please  ,  don't  do  me  any  favours  here  .  how  exactly  do  you  think  you're  helping  me  right  now  ?  "

❝ what , so i'm supposed to put what i've worked on my entire life just because you can't handle the fact that work is important to me ? ❞ he practically puts the words in her mouth , despite the fact that he's not said at all . he has long since perfected the art of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time , unable to hold his tongue . it has served him well at work , but in his personal life ... not so much . ❝ as much as you won't believe me , i don't want to hurt you . i can't promise that i'll give you a hundred percent in the future , and you need that . fuck , that's what you deserve . you know what life i lead . ❞

hated  seeing  anyone  cry  ,  but  especially  her  —  nagging  voice  in  the  back  of  his  head  already  starting  to  warn  him  that  this  was  a  mistake  .  but  logic  tended  to  prevail  for  him  ,  and  he  chooses  to  trust  his  head  instead  of  his  heart  once  again  .  "  it's  not  that  ,  it's  just—  "  how  can  he  explain  this  to  her  ?  that  he  carries  the  weight  ,  the  risk  of  other  people's  lives  on  his  shoulders  every  day  ,  and  he  doesn't  know  if  he  can  handle  worrying  about  someone  else  putting  their  life  at  risk  by  choice  .  "  i  didn't  realize  you  were  involved  in  something  so  dangerous  .  "  as  if  putting  distance  between  them  now  would  keep  him  from  caring  about  her  ,  from  wondering  if  she  was  alright  when  he  laid  awake  at  night  .  "  why  didn't  you  mention  it  before  ?  "

❝ it's in a controlled environment , ❞ protests feebly , as if it will make the slightest bit of difference while part of her knows that it's a foolish hope . she can't even explain why she does it , only that it gives her a feeling of freedom that she's never experienced before . on those nights , people who live otherwise ordinary lives will come together , and when the rumble of the engines start that all gets pushed aside . ❝ because of the way you're looking at me right now . ❞ dark locks fall over her shoulders as her chin dips downward , unable to take the expression on his face . ❝ it doesn't make me a different person . i'm still me , i just have a hobby like everyone else . ❞