the pressure of her fist is already noticeable.  bucky flexes his fingers around her grip, as much as he can; can hear the whirr of gears beneath the metal pads of his fingertips and decides defeat is imminent.  ❛ you sure about that? ❜  he smirks,  adjusts his elbow and finds stability. ❛ c’mon now, this s’ppose to intimidate me? you can do better than that, ❜ he goads, pushing his hand against hers.  

therapy / talking about trauma / post - trauma starters.

she knows wanda means it because wanda rarely says anything she doesn’t mean.  but it doesn’t make much of a difference to carol.  not when she’s coming apart at the seams. it sounds like the kind of advice she’d give and she’d mean it, too,  when she’d say it.  but it isn’t the kind of advice she has an easy time accepting.  she’s supposed to be captain marvel, earth’s mightiest hero.  not just carol danvers,  feeling her crummiest.  

she sighs as she nods her head,    ❝ — i used to dream of days like today. ❞   she remembers wanting to be taken seriously,  wanting to be a leader.  carol had wanted to step out from under the shadow of the avengers and define herself as a hero.  not just as ms. marvel or binary or whatever she was that week but as the world’s greatest superhero. and now,  that’s what she is,  according to the latest polls, at least.  but she hadn’t prepared for the mounting,  astronomical pressure to always be perfect. 

last week they celebrated orbiting the earth… again.  so, jess can see where carol’s irritation stems from. there was an element of insincerity to the whole thing. majority of the time, a gathering was simply to reinstate some sense of camaraderie and hope for the months… days… hours ahead. jess sighs, 

she wondered if carol really, quietly, missed anything about earth and this was all just a face. jess, for one, sometimes felt she needed a breath of fresh air. literally. 

❛ speaking of friends, referring to me here, you give any more thought into… altering the rules a little? you know, where “friendships” are concerned, ❜ like she could help herself. she was getting tired of confining most of their interactions to the bedroom. rather, one of the bedrooms. jess glances again briefly at the camera in the top corner of the room. 

she doesn’t blame jessica for asking.  they’ve been at this for months --- sneaking around, hiding their embraces,  and planning secret meetings away from the team.  there are rules.  and rules are meant to be followed. even more so when she’s the enforcer of said rules. carol’s jaw pulls stern as she shakes her head. 

❝   —  they’re not my rules, ❞    she reminds her.  it doesn’t matter how carol feels about the rules,  they’re in place for a reason.  and this crew has first hand experience of why it is important to follow them.  but jessica wasn’t on the team then.  she didn’t have to endure the demise of their previous commander and his bleeding heart.  she didn’t like it then either. but that doesn’t give her the ability to change it.  

THOR LOOKS BACK DOWN AT HIS PLATE,  as if it’s suddenly sprouted wings. though, he was never one to turn down a challenge, he was wary enough; sizing her up.  ❝  this trick of yours will do you no favors,  ❞  he informs her, matter-of-factly.  ❝  how will this benefit me?  ❞  if he wins, he gets his plate… that he paid for. if he loses, he loses his food and has to pay out for another dish. thor squints.

at least she got a kick out of his humiliation.  ❛ alright, alright. before your head gets any bigger, square up, danvers, ❜ he teases, wrapping his fingers around hers, grip tight. he sits his elbow on the flat surface and looks her in the eye. ❛ surprised you didn’t invite an audience. ❜