I GUESS I HAVE TO BE A LADY.

#WANTSFLIGHT : priv. sel. eloise bridgerton from the netflix original series, bridgerton. heavily canon divergent - please read guidelines before interacting. multi - everything. affil. - anthony bridgerton, colin bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, lady danbury, marina thompson, conrad oxford, and orlando oxford.

"ARE YOU NEW?" she doesn't believe she's seen her around, at least, not before this social season. something familiar about her, maybe in the way she seems uncomfortable to be parading around. eloise understands the depth of that feeling. "wait, i believe i've seen you. - you're a smith, correct?"

the late-night talk

Oh. you figure it out when you realize just how vulnerable they are willing to be with you. it isn't everybody who could or would stay up talking into the night with you, not with such affection or easy familiarity. it isn't everybody who is so understanding of you. it isn't everybody who could bare their soul to you in return. that kind of intimacy… it means deep foundations. it means comfort. it means trust. maybe it's a secret, maybe it's a story, maybe it's something you just never thought of before -- but they say something, late at night, and you realize all at once how remarkable they are, and how special it is to exist in the same time and space as them. "oh" indeed.

"DO NOT PUT THAT BABY IN MY HANDS, greg, i swear to god —" it's safe to say that eloise, while she adores her friends and is proud of how far greg has come all these years, is not good with children. yes, there are bridgertons younger than her that she helped to take care of while they were this size but she was barely any older than them. "the instinctual motherhood that people say women have skipped my generation of the family, so if you would please continue to hold him while i admire from a safe distance from both of you, i think eddie would appreciate it." eddie has absolutely no stake in this tiff, however, it's always eloise who will bring him into it for the sake of her argument.

the oxford estate acts a second home to the bridgerton girl, an escape from thunderous footsteps and roaring voices that come from the full and lively bridgerton family home. SHE ADORES IT, but the peace and quiet of the estate always brought comfort to her worst anxieties. IT'S DIFFERENT NOW to step foot into what once held such comfort that now brings forth the same anxieties she ran from. conrad's gone - off to fetch something or another, sign another document or whatever he does in his free time. that's left the girl with her father, whom she's been avoiding since her left ring finger gained a permanent fixture. guilt weighs heavy on her shoulders for all that has quickly taken over their lives. though, eloise never has been one to keep her mouth shut for too long. "I'M SORRY." it escapes fast, not allowing her brain to catch up for fear it might silence what she needs off her chest. "it was reckless, what we did. sneaking out without a chaperone in a public place, no matter how private it may have seemed to us." heart thumping against the cage of her chest with the difficulty of attempting to maintain eye contact to show the sincerity in her eyes, no matter how uncomfortable it made her. "it's easy to forget what conrad's status is in society. a testament to your upbringing, but it is not an excuse. we should've been more careful, or not even gone at all. WE'RE LUCKY that an easy solution was there for us, but in the same vein, i've taken something from both of us that... while i may know is impossible to have, we now will never truly know. and for that, i am sorry."

a rite of passage for all university students: the hours long stint in a pub — BAR, whatever they call it here — regretting every decision that's led to ever having dreams or pursuing something bigger than where they've come from. eloise convinced herself that she would be different. oh, how wrong she was. "YOU KNOW WHAT'S CRAZY?" and maybe she's a bit drunk, needing to vent to someone and the only other person remotely close to her sits just a stool or two away. a stranger, with one glance a reasonably headed eloise wouldn't bother engaging in a conversation with. he'll do. "people make out university abroad to be some dream, ' move to america and you'll find yourself ', and... iss' not true." she doesn't care if he's listening. "and i moved here for an ENGLISH DEGREE. what kinda fuckin' rubbish is that? who the fuck moves across an ocean to read books & analyze text that you could do ANYWHERE?"

"what in the absolute HELL are you wearing?" not that eloise themselves is any type of fashionista, but even they know that any outfit consisting of camouflage pants that pair with a flannel just needs to be stopped. ali attempts to shoot her a look, but it goes completely ignored in favor of the shit-eating grin spreading across her face. he makes it too easy. "at this point, you're physically handing ammo over to johnny. i'd like to see your face without bruising and blood, thanks." a hint of caring could be found somewhere in there, but wouldn't be seen by the natural eye.