Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

“I’m not sure you ought to be complaining of my niceness,” Halldis pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at him as she reached across the table to tap the bottle of expensive drink sitting between them, “Who else would buy you a bottle of Colovian Brandy?”

Certainly Halldis knew better than to put too much stock into anything Asher said when drunk. However, having had a few drinks herself, this particular question hit her in a particular way and she found herself wallowing in doubt.

She opened her mouth to say 'Yes, of course', but the words would not come out. What if the things she interpreted as love were not actually that? What if that was simply what she wanted them to be?

Descending further into this pit of What Ifs, Halldis slowly began to slump in her chair, staring blankly at the surface of the table. After a long silence, she reached for her cup and quickly finished her drink, and then rose from her chair.

Continued: x x

Never would Halldis have imagined that Shad would have such a strong reaction, in her favor, over this particular incident. Nor would she have guessed that Dalamus would feel enough genuine guilt about it to more or less tell on himself. Perhaps she should have felt badly for assuming that he didn’t feel anything about it aside from irritation, but she didn’t. For that, however, she did feel badly. Forcing feelings was not something she knew how to do so she let that go.

Her mind scrambled, trying to think back to the weeks afterwards. Trying to remember if Shad had said or done anything that might have tipped her off that he knew, and she simply missed it. But nothing came to mind.

No, he was not one to talk about these things. He wouldn’t have said anything. And what would there have been to do that would have helped? Very little, if anything.

Halldis’ face reddened as he spoke, and slowly her gaze drifted downwards until she was staring at her boots.

“I imagine that was a relief, of sorts,” she began, “W-When he walked away, that is. I wouldn’t much like to be on the receiving end of Shad’s temper.”

She paused, chewing the inside of her lip, brow furrowing in thought. She was not sure what was expected of her here, what he was hoping to get from this conversation.

Continued from here

Before she could process the question of her well being, the rest of his words practically whacked her upside the head. After all the effort she’d made to avoid looking at him only moments before, Halldis now found herself staring directly at him, an expression of startled confusion on her face.

Shad had found out, from Dalamus himself, and had apparently been angry. Shad was never unkind to her, but she knew that he often struggled to understand her as a person. At times she wondered if he truly liked her that much at all, or if he was simply nice about it because of Bo. Although, Shad was hardly one to pretend. But, if he’d been angry on her behalf? Over something Dalamus — who, from what she could see, he considered a very good friend — had done? It had never occurred to her that he would do anything aside from think her stupid. Evidently she had overthought again and judged him unfairly.

It felt like an odd question, and at the same time, probably a fair one. Still, she was unsure how exactly to answer. It felt important to be kind when there was room for it, but of course there wasn’t always.

In those moments Halldis felt she was able to channel her mother well enough. She hated it though. She dreaded it.

Halldis blinked in surprise. She could not recall anyone ever complaining about her niceness before, though it's possible they did not do so to her face. Perhaps it came off as disingenuous. That thought was troubling.

Halldis pretended to be busy looking for something in her bag, and then busied herself with picking at a stray thread at the hem of her shirt, and finally looked off into the distance, as if some sound had drawn her attention. Anything to avoid looking at his face or meeting his eyes. Her lips pursed into a thin line, betraying her irritation.

"I'll do that, Jervar," Halldis hissed, quickly stepping behind the back wall of the stable and out of sight. Jervar stood up straight, a shovel full of manure in his hands. She gestured frantically towards the front of the stable, "You go up there and see what he needs, yeah?"

Jervar blinked in confusion, then leaned to one side to peer at the person in question: a well dressed Dunmer with a haughty look about him. He turned back to Halldis, frowning, "How come you'd rather shovel shit than talk to somebody? He probably just wants to board his horse...."

She huffed impatiently, and took the shovel from his hands, and through gritted teeth replied, "Because, I do not like him, and I do not want to talk to him. Not even about horses. Please, I'll take care of all this, you don't have to do any more shoveling today, alright? Just go."

BOLD what applies / italicize sometimes. repost , don’t reblog.

fights honorably / fights dirty

prefers close quarters / prefers range

chats during / goes silent

low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance

attacks in bursts / attacks steadily

goes for the kill / aims to disarm / fights defensively / strikes first

is provoked easily / provokes their opponent / teases

gets visibly frustrated / shouts while attacking

uses strategy / focuses on the battle / experiences conflicting thoughts during battle / rushes in recklessly / tries to read their opponent before engaging

fights wildly / fights calmly / fights apathetically / fights with anger / fights with excitement

fights because they have to / fights because they want to

fights without regard to wounds / runs away when wounded / hides wounds / takes a blow to protect another

prefers a blade /  prefers a gun / prefers hand to hand combat / prefers a bow / prefers a shield / prefers a personalized weapon / prefers magic, alchemy or spells

their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional

transforms for battle / fights as they appear

relies on strength / doubts their strength / relies on speed

uses everything they have / proceeds with caution / hides their full potential / exhausts quickly / has high stamina

behaves arrogantly / brags after landing a hit / belittles their abilities

uses psychological tactics / uses brute strength

avoids civilians / strikes down civilians

damages surroundings / avoids damaging surroundings

signature fighting style / makes it up as they go

mastered skillset / learning their skillset

fancy footwork / sloppy footwork

messy fighter / elegant fighter

accepts defeat / refuses defeat / begs for mercy

compliments their opponent / insults their opponent

uses unnecessary movements / moves efficiently / barely moves

prefers to dodge / prefers to block

defends their blindside / has no blindside / leaves blindsides vulnerable

uses all available advantages / strictly uses one main method

plays around / holds back / fights ruthlessly / shows mercy

waits for an opponent to be ready / strikes when opponent isn’t ready  

fears death / fears pain / fears killing

has ptsd / avoids fighting

has lost a fight / has won a fight

has killed / refuses to kill

wants to die standing / would succumb slowly

MEDIEVAL. tired eyes. coffee stains on the table. listening to the bustle of the city. unmade beds. loose ponytails. sunlight seeping through the curtains. chapped lips. walking barefoot across the floorboards. dusty dictionaries. black and white reruns. huge sweaters. the ticking of the clock. hearing birds in the morning. fireplaces. falling asleep during class.

RENAISSANCE. freckles. the sun rising. watching the sea. taking shots of the city. historical museums. bright eyes. looking up at the clouds. walls covered in artworks. drawing in the middle of lessons. tracing your fingers on the sand. painting for hours. staying in uncrowded coffee-shops. worn paperbacks. messy braids. going to bed with your socks on.

BAROQUE. dark hair. a little sophisticated. always observing the world around you. intricate designs. high ceilings. extravagant musical pieces. dim lights. colorless photographs. fancy furniture. pale skin. hearing soft footfalls coming from outside the room. mischievous looks. bitten nails. candlelight dinners. dark shades of lipstick.

CLASSICAL. chandeliers. the clinking of a teacup. laced clothing. modern architecture. light hair. watching the view from the terrace. hidden birthmarks. drinking tea in the morning. wandering about in an empty building. botanical gardens. old films. ancient marble sculpture. expensive perfume. breakfasts in bed. reading about mythology.

ROMANTIC. compassion. short writings on scraps of paper. blushed cheeks. a bouquet of roses. reading collections of poetry late at night. loose hair. carpeted floors. attending operas. faint music playing in the background. staying under the covers until midday. the night sky. streetlights. picking flowers. dancing around in silk dresses. scented candles.

LEGAL NAME: Halldis Stoneheart DATE OF BIRTH: 20th of Sun’s Dawn NICKNAMES: Hally: Used primarily by her father when she was a child, and now sometimes used by her cousin Rognar. GENDER: cis female (she/her) AGE: 24 as of 4E 201 SPECIES: Human: Nord, with some Imperial heritage on her Mother’s side. PLACE OF BIRTH: Heljarchen Hall, south of Dawnstar, Skyrim. CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: Lives in Arlow’s ( @beastlyburden) house in Whiterun, along with Shad ( @honortoprove) Bo ( @bloodshonor), and Tommy ( also @beastlyburden) SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Tamrielic, Norse, some very clumsy Bretic. OCCUPATION: Works primarily as a stablehand in Whiterun; also hunts and sells/trades hides, furs, and antlers from time to time. CRIMINAL RECORD: Arrested once for assault in Rorikstead. Once stole an apple for her horse, and an armload of firewood from an Inn.

DRINK I SMOKE | DRUGS: Drinks occasionally, mostly wine, mead, or ale, very rarely drinks to the point of drunkenness. Does not smoke or partake in any kind of drugs.

LIKE[S]: Horses/Animals in general. The sound of running water/the ocean. Exploring. Winter/snow. Horseback riding. Archery. Stacking stones. Flowers. Hunting/Fishing. Swimming. Collecting rocks, shells, feathers etc. Reading. Knitting. Cooking. Leatherworking. Emotional, and physical intimacy. Jokes and stories.

DISLIKE[S]: Bandits. Religion. Mara. Talos. Being stared at/watched. Being touched by strangers. Wealthy people. Arrogance. Pretentiousness. Condescension. Liars. Being told what to do. Being excluded. Yelling/Shouting. Loud noises. Busy or crowded spaces. Ulfric Stormcloak. Maternal figures.

FEARS: Abandonment. Loss of personal freedom. Hagravens. Disappointing people she cares about. Dwemer Ruins. Bohr. Falmer. Daedra. General fear of Vampires and Werewolves; with exceptions for specific individuals who she knows well.

PERSONALITY TRAITS: Guarded. Quiet. Lacking in self confidence/worth. Polite. Easily embarrassed/flustered. Stubborn. Intelligent. Kind/Compassionate. Curious. Anxious. Independent. Practical. Hypervigilant. Wary. Loyal. Sensitive. Occasionally depressive and withdrawn. Generous. Helpful. Trustworthy. Honest.

(PHYSICAL INFORMATION)

HAIR COLOUR: Silver Blonde; nearing waist length, and very wavy. Generally braided in one way or another. EYE COLOUR: Pale green HEIGHT: 5′9″ - On the shorter side for a Nord, but not so much that it draws attention. WEIGHT: 140lbs - Lean/willowy, long arms and legs. She still pictures herself as gangly and awkward as she was as a teenager. TATTOOS: None

(FAMILY INFORMATION)

SIBLINGS: One paternal half brother; unknown to her or any of her family. PARENT[S]: Mother: Anka; deceased; estranged prior to her death. Father: Valkar; deceased. CHILDREN: Currently none. PET[S]: A horse named Uthur, and a dog named Agatha (RELATIONSHIP INFORMATION)

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Demisexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Currently in a relationship with Bo ( @bloodshonor ), would very much like to marry him but has not yet broached the subject.