jade🤘🏼

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.

who the fuck is Madame Zeroni

Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is

☝🏾😂

Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button

WHO TF DOESN’T KNOW WHO MADAME ZERONI IS ?? ????

Oops gotta reblog she don’t play games

Girl I don’t fuck with that shit. I gotta exam two hours-I rebuke thee!

I am terrified mind you

Oh…well…double and give it to the next person

every time.

My baby Qais may die now because his wound has dangerously expanded, and his blood level has dropped to 7, the lowest a human can survive. I will not forgive anyone who scrolls past and keeps browsing without sharing my post 😔💔.

Doctors say Qais needs urgent surgery and treatment, but I cannot afford any of it. Every minute without help pushes him closer to death. Please donate now—your support could save his life.

Donations are almost nonexistent, just like Qais’s blood now. His body is emptying while time runs out fast. Please, I am begging you—donate immediately before his fragile heart gives up.

I refresh the page and see nothing change—no donations, no rescue, only Qais growing weaker in my arms. Please don’t let silence decide his fate. Donate now and help me keep my child alive.

Every hour without help drains more life from Qais. His breathing is shallow, his eyes tired, his body fighting alone. I am begging you—please donate now. Your help could be the breath he needs to survive.

The loneliest girl in the world would like to message you for about 15 minutes and then ghost you forever

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

Ah, the fatal combination of having pride in my work but fuckall executive functioning.

It's rude to come into my house and assault me like that and some day I may or may not have my revenge. But mark my words, if I do, you will rue the day. You're probably in no danger though.

Remember to make cute little noises whenever you feel safe and comfortable.

i am actually insufferable once I get comfortable with someone

What a beautiful thing to be someone a friend feels safe to be vulnerable with

how dare you turn my self-deprecating midnight rambles into a hopecore positive post

Get hoped

my babies🥹🥹

Tactical reloading of things that don’t need tactical reloads

I lost it at the toaster and couldn't make it past the smoke detector before reblogging

This is so satisfying to watch—

can’t see the word tactical without thinking about how at my job we call going to the bathroom “taking a tactical wee”

You know what? I’m in favor of disabled immigrants who can’t work, too, and I think they should be taken care of. They’re people, and everyone should have their needs met, and if someone is willing to uproot their whole life to move to another country, I assume they have a compelling reason for it.