Sing Me To Sleep

you cannot tell me that this isn’t his vibe.

his favorite songs would be:

pistol — it’s his favorite song by them in general, but it’s also his go-to breakup song. sure, he's had lots of flings, but after his first real love, this song is on repeat 24/7. "i’ll waste my time / 'til you lift me off the floor and love me again." mattheo riddle clings. he doesn't know how to move on. this song perfectly captures his desperate need for validation and affection, even though he pretends he doesn’t care.

each time you fall in love — one thing that mattheo is good at, is shutting people out. this song speaks to disillusionment in love, something mattheo would struggle with as someone who yearns for connection yet fears abandonment. the lines “each time you fall in love / it's clearly not enough” and "all I wanna know is if you love her / how come you never give in?" feels like his inner monologue whenever he pushes someone away or spirals into self-doubt.

nothing’s gonna hurt you baby — 100% resonates with mattheo because, deep down, he's desperate to find someone who truly sees him—beyond his father’s shadow, beyond his walls. "nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, as long as you're with me" —the kind of promise he wishes someone had made to him during his lonely childhood, and one he secretly wishes he could make to someone he loves.

apocalypse — i don't know about you guys, but in my head at least, mattheo is a hopeless romantic at heart. he may act like he doesn't need anyone but, this song? it makes him feel like he's dancing with his lover in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, unafraid of death as long as he's wrapped in their arms. buuut that sounds cheesy which is why he'd never tell anyone. “when you're all alone / i'll reach for you / when you're feelin' low / i'll be there too.” oh, how he wishes someone would say those words to him.

sweet — "it's so sweet, knowing that you love me / though we don't need to say it to each other" — yeah, lets be real. words of affirmation is not mattheo's love language, at least not at first. the words, "i love you," scare him. those words mean that everything is real, that there’s no going back. he's got a hesitancy to vocalize things, relying on gestures, touches, and moments rather than words. this song makes him feel like he doesn't need to be ashamed of that.

“I was looked at, but I wasn’t seen.”

Sometimes it's the perfect record for 3am, and other times it's the perfect album for 8 am Monday.