hand in unlovable hand

every time i have a nightmare shift i change my priv twitter header to a slightly more unhinged burgerpants sprite and i’ve gotten to the most insane one so i dont know what happens next

i am. very very much not cut out to be the universal emotional support simon

hate my job hate my hours hate my job no time for uni bad at uni can’t take care of myself gaining weight so i don’t recognize myself feel unattractive and can’t fit into half my clothes any more can’t even go back to old bad coping mechanisms bc ive got someone who sees me naked regularly and would immediately notice AND i can’t kill myself because i straight up don’t want to any more. door’s locked not an option. what the fuck am i supposed to do. literally can’t practice bad coping mechanisms and i don’t have any good ones. where do i go from here

WHY DO I HAVE TO SHOWER EVERY 12 HOURS TO KEEP MY ROOM FROM SMELLING LIKE ACTUAL LITERAL BALLS I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY

on reflection i do not in fact got this

bro i have no idea what’s going on any more why am i huge in the mirror but skinny in photos. why are my trousers so tight if my thighs look smaller? have i gained weight???? why do i never replace the scale batteries

oh wow oh okay first year me was in charge of his own groceries and now im gonna be stuck seeing myself like this on and off for the rest of my fucking life this is never going to go away huh

i understand that everyone has a different body image and different resting weight and i get it and i understand how peoples struggles are different but seeing a size 6 girl on twitter being like "i've gained weight and i feel gross" is making me genuinely want to commit violence on my own person

it’s fucking crazy what having a partner who is visibly and openly and very loudly attracted to you does for your self esteem. like yeah i have a massive ass and it’s SEXY

feeling very very “cat that got adopted in lockdown and now cries when its human goes to the bathroom” this week